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Be Less Dickish – self-help for men

Bear Psychology Podcast

Release Date: 10/03/2022

Healing Emotional Dysregulation show art Healing Emotional Dysregulation

Bear Psychology Podcast

In this healing exploration author and therapist Dr. Tamra Sattler reflects on the “Enneagram 4” also referred to as “Borderline-style personality”. These personality styles have a reputation of being difficult for therapists to work with, families to tolerate, and importantly for those struggling to love and accept themselves. In her book, “Too Much and Not Enough: Healing for the Enneagram Four or Borderline-Style Personality”, Sattler describes how people achieve self-discovery and a path forward to belonging, for those with strong emotions. Listen to our conversation with...

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Bear Psychology Podcast

Upon receiving a brain tumor diagnosis in 2018, Cynthia Clark’s husband expressed his desire to prioritize the quality of his remaining years over the quantity. His desire was to relish his time with his wife and kids, which ultimately led to his decision to utilize MAID when treatment failed eight months later. After starting a blog to update friends and family about the process, Cynthia began to notice that those going through this same process with a loved one often reported feeling alone and unsupported.  This led her to write “The Many Faces of MAID: What to Expect When Someone...

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Bear Psychology Podcast

After 20 years in practice, Dr. Jonice Webb noticed the painful struggle of people who grew up in homes where they were emotionally neglected.  She identified this neglect as an "invisible factor" that continued to affect adults often leaving them feeling depleted and dissatisfied or what she described as “Running on Empty”. In Dr. Webb’s books “Running on Empty: Overcome Your Childhood Emotional Neglect” and “Running On Empty No More: Transform Your Relationships” she shines a light on this invisible force of CEN.  She discusses how to bring new tools, strategies and...

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Bear Psychology Podcast

After years of excellent health as an ultra-marathon runner and athlete and a good life in a stable marriage Katie Arnold’s life flipped from stable to unrecognizable.  Arnold experienced a significant injury while on a rafting trip that left her with a broken leg and big life changes.  She takes us through her life as an ultra-runner and a “seething but adequate” married woman before the accident. The things she relied on before her accident were ripped away from her leaving her wondering who she really is. After her accident, she sought solace through a Zen meditation...

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Bear Psychology Podcast

Growing up with emotionally immature or self-centered parents can mean that your emotional needs were either disregarded or unmet. As a result, you may struggle with feelings of betrayal, abandonment, rage, or loneliness. Although you may work hard to become the person you want to be, your old wounds might re-ignite at any time, especially if your are reminded of vulnerable childhood feelings. Dr. Gibson, is an CEN expert and the author of “Disentangling from Emotionally Immature People: Avoid Emotional Traps, Stand Up for Your Self, and Transform Your Relationships as an Adult Child of...

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Bear Psychology Podcast

If you are interested in learning how to assert yourself in the workplace, navigate tumultuous family dynamics, or establish boundaries in romantic relationships, this show is for you.  Boundaries are the invisible lines that define the limits of our emotional and physical space, safeguarding our well-being and preserving our sense of self. Yet, for many, setting and maintaining boundaries can be a daunting task, fraught with uncertainty and discomfort. In her book, "Setting Boundaries That Stick" Juliane Taylor Shore offers a beacon of hope for those seeking to cultivate healthier...

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Bear Psychology Podcast

Relationships rule our inner world. Understanding how you feel and think about your relationships helps you become more accepting and then more peaceful. You can develop an appreciation for other people's perspectives and stop assigning blame on others. Dr. Jacqueline Heller’s book “Yesterday Never Sleeps: How Integrating Life's Current and Past Connections Improves Our Well-Being” draws upon decades of clinical experience to create a powerful and more positive inner narrative. Her unique combination of neuroscience, memoirs of her life as a child of Holocaust survivors, and patient...

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Bear Psychology Podcast

Disconnected People in positions of power make the world more dangerous for everyone – Bear Psychology Radio hosted by Dr. Anna Baranowsky with guest Dr. Steve Taylor. Disconnected people have the tendency to gravitate toward power.  When Disconnected people rule in positions of power societies trend toward patriarchal, hierarchical and warlike. In contrast, societies with connected leaders trend toward egalitarian, democracy and peace. Although most people have a deep need to be connected, life events/upbringing and trauma exposure can interfere in this profound human characteristic....

info_outline Why your coping skills stop working show art Why your coping skills stop working

Bear Psychology Podcast

Experiencing stressful or traumatic experiences during childhood leads us to develop certain coping mechanisms to get us through. While these strategies might have helped us feel secure when younger, they often fail us in adulthood. Richard Brouillette’s book “Your Coping Skills Aren't Working: How to Break Free from the Habits that Once Helped You But Now Hold You Back” offers an evidence-based guide using multiple therapeutic modalities including cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), schema therapy, and attachment theory to help readers leave behind unhelpful coping strategies that keep...

info_outline Muslim Loving Peace and looking to a better future show art Muslim Loving Peace and looking to a better future

Bear Psychology Podcast

Raheel Raza, a Muslim Canadian born in Pakistan, migrated to Canada in 1988, has a unique perspective on what is happening right now in the Israel-Hamas war and her reflections on misinformation and what Peace would take.  She has visited Israel 13 times in the 16 years. In her National Post Article “I'm a Muslim and I love Israel. Here's why” published in February 2023, Raza details what she has learned about hate and antisemitism, it’s prevalence in Arab Muslim countries, her hope for Peace and the struggles of supporting Israel at this time. Listen to our conversation...

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More Episodes

If you have ever fallen into negative patterns of action or thoughts that fail you often AND you identify as male (or know a man you want to better understand) then this self-help guide provides humorous and relevant instruction. 

David and Corey write this book together as a patient & therapist duo with insight into the pitfalls and possible strategies to deal with 4 primary destructive patterns that might be getting you or someone you know into trouble. 

Listen to our conversation with therapist & co-authors David Coates & Corey Kilpack as we travel with them on their adventure to "Be less Dickish". 

Coates is a therapist on a mission to help men figure things out so they are more successful in their relational and life endeavours.

Kilpack is a client who sought therapy to better understand his pitfalls and figure out a roadmap for a way out.

Together this duo have identified the following "douchebag" quadrants (their descriptor not mine!) that undermine one's best act in life.  I have used their subtitles which provide more information to help the listener recognize the struggle:

  • Aggression / Assertiveness (A-Hole)
  • Imitation / Service (Douchebag)
  • Victimization / Self-Care (Dick)
  • Submission / Surrender ("Pussy)

And in special cases "Piece of S..t"

Adding a touch of humor to each story, the authors describe crass, destructive and non-productive strategies that change overtime to reveal that growth can happen with insight, understanding and new behaviour approaches. 

We all have something to learn from their reflection on how these 4 (or is it really 5) characters who become triggered and learn to use the TRACE approach (Trigger, Reaction, Awareness, Curiosity and Experimentation) to increase self-awareness and behave more effectively, as a result.

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