Episode 42- 10 Ways to Have Better Sex Part 4
A Beautiful Adventure Marriage
On this episode we are wrapping up our conversation on the importance of sex in marriage. We have dove into this topic and have explored things you or your spouse could be doing to harm your sex life and ways you both can make it better. Let's look at two more tips before we go. Do Not Watch Porn Porn is extremely dangerous to a marriage. It will in no way unite you and your spouse. Porn will only cause division and other issues. For more information about the dangers of porn check out Mark Gungor. Create A Sex Bucket List Our last tip is to create a sex bucket list. Sit...
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Episode 41- 10 Ways to Have Better Sex Part 3
A Beautiful Adventure Marriage
With this episode we are continuing the conversation on ways to improve your sex life. So far we have given you five ways to grow your intimacy. Spend Quality Time Together Talk About It Please and Be Pleased Don't Rely on Your Mood Don't Overlook the Quickie Let's dive into the next three. Get Creative Don’t just do the same old things in the same old places. Have sex in a different room, or a different place altogether. Roleplay and dress up. Remember we said you should talk about sex with your spouse? Ask them what one of their fantasies is, and make it a reality. There is no reason for...
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Episode 40- 10 Ways to Have Better Sex Part 2
A Beautiful Adventure Marriage
God’s plan for sex in marriage is one of enduring intimacy. He created sex as a good gift to be enjoyed within the confines of marriage. Biblically it should be the married couples having the wild and amazing sex, not the single people. In our last episode, we gave you two ways to start having better sex, let’s pick back up that discussion. Please And Be Pleased Once you know what your spouse likes, do it. Sex is not about being selfish. Make your spouse and their pleasure your focus. There is something very gratifying when we stop trying to be fulfilled and focus on...
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Episode 39- 10 Ways to Have Better Sex Part 1
A Beautiful Adventure Marriage
10 Ways to Have Better Sex Teaser: On our last three podcasts, we discussed 10 things that could damage your intimacy with your spouse. We dealt with the problem first because if you try to fix something without dealing with the problem, you will only have a big problem in the end. In the next few episodes we will be discussing 10 things you can do to help improve your sex life. So let’s dive in. 10 Ways to Have Better Sex Spending Quality Time Together Sex should not be the only time you attempt to spend with your spouse. Find out what interests them and share that with them. Find...
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Episode 38- Sex Life Killers Part 3
A Beautiful Adventure Marriage
Last week we gave you more things that could be damaging or even killing your sex life. Your sex life is such an important part of your marriage and should be thriving not dying. On our last two episodes we talked about... Distractions Constantly shutting down your spouse Critical Words Body Image Comparison Being Too Busy Poor Routine Let's look at a few more things that could be hindering your sex life. Getting Too Comfortable I love the fact that I am comfortable being myself in my marriage. That is one of the many facets of marriage. It is a place to be loved unconditionally, even...
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Episode 37- Sex Life Killers Part 2
A Beautiful Adventure Marriage
Sex Life Killers Part 2 Last week we gave you three things that could be damaging or even killing your sex life. Your sex life is such an important part of your marriage and should be thriving not dying. On our last episode we talked about... Distractions Constantly shutting down your spouse Critical Words Let's look at a few more things that could be hindering your sex life. Comparison Comparison is a relationship killer in general. It has the ability to take a person who has so much and make them believe they have nothing. Comparison always leaves you feeling...
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Episode 36- Sex Life Killers Part 1
A Beautiful Adventure Marriage
Sex is a great thing! Most people spend the majority of their single lives trying to get as much of it as possible. But there is a problem that can happen in marriage… Once married, you can have sex all you want…but for many people and for many different reasons sex stops… join us as we talk about the things that can kill off a good sex life. What the Word Says about Sex in Marriage Your spring water is for you and you only, not to be passed around among strangers. Bless your fresh-flowing fountain! Enjoy the wife you married as a young man! Lovely as an angel, beautiful as a...
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Episode 35- Sex and Marriage
A Beautiful Adventure Marriage
Sex and Marriage Talking about sex can be tricky. It is easy for this topic to become awkward, silly, or even inappropriate. We don’t want that to happen here. We do however want to stress how important sex is in a marriage. Marriage is to be held in honor among all [that is, regarded as something of great value], and the marriage bed undefiled [by immorality or by any sexual sin]; for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous. Hebrews 13:4 Amplified Version Sex is a good thing when it is kept in the marriage relationship. Sex has many purposes but one of those purposes...
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Episode 34- The 4 Step Marriage Plan
A Beautiful Adventure Marriage
John J. Beckley once said, “Most people don’t plan to fail, they fail to plan.” This can be applied to every area of life. No one wakes up in the morning and plans to fail. Every marriage has dreams and goals. The problems come when we fail to make a plan to make those dreams and goals a reality. Without a plan with intentional steps, most if not all, dreams and goals will go unaccomplished, and we don’t want that to happen in your marriage. Join us for this episode as we give you a 4 Step Marriage Plan to help accomplish your goals and dreams. 4 Steps to Create a Marriage Plan Dream...
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Episode 33- 10 Commandments for Blended Families with Joel Hawbaker
A Beautiful Adventure Marriage
The 10 Commandments for Blended Families In the same way Jesus summarized the law and the prophets in two great commandments, so the 10CBF can be summarized in what I call the 2 Pillars: 1. Be the adult you want your child(ren) to become. 2. Remember the Golden Rule and treat others the way you want to be treated. I. Communicate Well - Over communicate with all adults involved: choose a format/technology that works, and use it. When in doubt, communicate about it. II. Always Show Respect - Be respectful, calm, and patient with everyone involved, even if you’re the only one...
info_outlineCorrecting Comparison
On our last podcast, we talked about the dangers of comparing ourselves and our marriages to others. We explained that comparison never comes alone. It brings discontentment, resentment, and dishonesty with it. When all of these things are operating in our marriages, conflict, and dysfunction will happen, or at the very least it will be an extremely unhappy relationship. So although comparison seems harmless, it’s not.
Let’s look at ways we can correct comparisons in our lives and our marriage.
Correcting Comparison
The first thing we need to do when it comes to comparison is to take inventory. Take a week or so and really observe your behaviors. When and where do you see comparison happening the most? For most of us, it is on social media but there can be other places as well. Once you have identified the times you are most susceptible, it is time to remove those triggers, and we can do that in several ways.
Removing Triggers
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The first way is to hit the Unfollow Button
If there is a certain person(s)/account you are constantly comparing yourself to online it is time to hit the unfollow button. You may not want to unfollow these people but if you are walking away from their feed feeling like you or your marriage does not measure up, unfollowing them is the healthiest thing you can do.
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Choose Your Friends Wisely
Let’s go a step further in this removal process. Do you have “friends” that you are constantly comparing yourself or your marriage to? Do you have “friends” who like to make their life seem absolutely fantastic while making you feel insignificant?I emphasize the word “friends” because if you have this type of person in your life they are NOT your friend.
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Take a full own Social Media Fast
Perhaps unfollowing a few people is all you need to do, if so that’s great. But for some of us, a full-on fast may be in order. To really stop comparing ourselves to others we may need to take a break from social media altogether for a while.
Remember we all have different triggers we just touched on a few. The goal here is to remove as many of them as possible, in order to focus on you and your marriage.
So, take a few days and really take inventory. Your trigger may not be listed above but if something or someone is affecting you or your marriage negatively it is time to remove it.
Find Your Strengths
Once we have removed the triggers that have been stealing our joy, it is time to start replenishing our joy. Let’s look at a few ways we can do that.
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Do Some Evaluation by Asking Questions
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What are you good at?
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What are areas you love about yourself/your spouse? Physical, Spiritual, Emotional.
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What is your spouse good at?
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Is there something unique about your marriage?
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What do you love about your spouse and marriage?
When we find the answers to these questions we are finding the good about ourselves and our marriages. When we see the good it brings joy.
Psalm 139 makes it plain that we were created good!
I will give thanks and praise to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; wonderful are Your works, and my soul knows it very well.
Speak Gratitude
Our final tip for correcting comparison is very simple. Once you have spotted your and your spouse’s strengths, the things you are both good at. Start showing gratitude.
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Be proud of yourself when you accomplish something you have been working toward.
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Brag on your spouse when you see them walking in their strength. Be a person that just speaks life over your spouse daily! You will be surprised what consistent affirmation can do for a person!
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Celebrate the wins when you handle something well that used to be a struggle.
There is nothing wrong with spotting the good and speaking up about it.
A Life Without Comparison is Possible
Comparison is easy to do, but nothing good will come of it. We will be left with discontentment and jealousy if we allow comparison to be a part of our lives. Above are just three steps you can take to correct comparison and start replenishing the joy in your life and marriage, but there are other ways to correct this as well.
So find what works for you and make the changes that you need to make to bring joy back to you and your marriage. Remember God made you and your marriage unique! Find that and embrace it!
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