Episode 32- Wisdom for Making Difficult Decisions

5 Steps to Take When Making Hard Decisions

Pause

There are times when decisions must be made quickly, but this is not the norm. In most cases, we put unnecessary stress on ourselves and on our marriage by trying to make the decision as quickly as possible. Once you and your spouse have all the information and have had a chance to really talk about it, pause the conversation. Make an intentional decision to give yourself and your spouse some time to go through the next four steps to make a good decision.

The next three steps all work together. You go through them all simultaneously both with and without your spouse.

Ponder, Process, Repeat

In most situations, people spend the most time thinking about how they want to handle the situation. They are quick to dismiss anyone else’s opinion, and their spouse is no exception. However, if we are going to make a wise decision, one that will benefit our family the most, we must work together with our spouse.

Once both opinions have been communicated out, take some time to process the information. Weight your options to figure out what would be the best decision. This step can take as little or as much time as you need. The main thing here is to just make sure you have all the information to make the best decision you can.

Pray

This is the most important step of all. We need to be prayerful about the decisions that we need to make. The truth is God wants to be a part of our lives. He wants to be a part of the little decisions as much as He wants to be a part of the big ones.

The Word tell us in James 1:5 that if we lack wisdom we should pray and ask for it. We serve a good God who wants to give us good gifts and wisdom is definitely one of them. Praying together with your spouse is a great way to deepen your connection as husband and wife. There is something very special about hearing your spouse talk to God. It is a great reminder that they do have your best interest at heart and want to do what is right for their families.

If praying is not something that you and your spouse do often check out The Greater than 11Prayer Challenge. There are so many benefits to praying together with your spouse, and this challenge will help you become intentional about praying together every day.

Proceed

The final step is acting on the decision you have made. If you take the time to really go through these steps with your spouse, you will be in a much better position to make a wise decision, even if it’s a hard one.

The best-case scenario is you and your spouse come to a full agreement through this process and you can proceed together. However, I have found that in the moments where the full agreement does not come, there is still a peace. If I know that Alex has really thought about and prayed about something, it is easier for me to trust him even if I am not in full agreement. I can do this because I fully trust he has my best interest at heart, he has spoken to the Father about it, and he would never make a decision that would intentionally hurt us.

Whether or not you come out on the same page or not, I can promise you that if you use these five steps in a positive way, they will bring you closer to each other. A trust and deepen connection will form between you and your spouse.

Bonus Tip:

Try to wait and only make a hard decision after you have been able to eat and rest. This is just something Alex and I have realized in our own personal lives. We do not make the best decisions if we are tired or hungry. Once we have gotten some food and some rest, we are in a much better place to make wise decisions. In fact, we are just able to communicate better as a whole after a good meal and some rest.

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