Ep. 268: Teaching Kids to Manage Big Emotions: DBT Skills for Elementary Schools with Dr. Elizabeth Dexter-Mazza

We are happy to warmly welcome Dr. Elizabeth Dexter-Mazza to the show for this episode. Dr. Dexter-Mazza is a licensed clinical psychologist and certified DBT therapist with more than 25 years of experience in clinical practice, training, and consultation. She co-authored DBT-based social-emotional learning curricula for elementary and secondary students and co-owns Mazza Consulting & Psychological Services and DBT in Schools with her husband, Jim Mazza. She also provides DBT treatment and professional training internationally, working with adolescents, adults, families, mental health providers, and schools, and her work is centered on promoting mental wellness and resilience through culturally responsive DBT practices and her mission to make DBT skills accessible to children through general education.

Throughout our conversation, we touch upon an important question - what if we stopped expecting children to just pay attention, manage their emotions, make good decisions, and get along with others and instead explicitly taught them the skills they need to do those things? Dr. Dexter-Mazza discusses why emotional regulation and other life skills belong alongside reading, writing, and math, and what can change when educators teach those skills instead of simply expecting students to already have them.

Elizabeth also explains what DBT actually means and how school-based DBT differs from comprehensive DBT therapy. Rather than asking teachers to become therapists, DBT Steps E gives educators developmentally appropriate ways to teach mindfulness, emotion regulation, distress tolerance, interpersonal effectiveness, and problem-solving as everyday skills. We explore how these skills can help students become more effective learners, particularly when frustration or strong emotions make it especially challenging to access the cognitive resources that are needed for learning.

We also discuss the importance of breaking seemingly simple expectations down into teachable behaviors. Elizabeth shares some examples of helping students recognize when their attention has wandered, notice an urge before acting on it, and use that brief pause as a “choice point.” Dr. Dexter-Mazza explains how this approach can be especially useful for neurodivergent learners, including students with ADHD, by replacing vague instructions such as “Pay attention!” with concrete skills that can actually be practiced.

Finally, we look at what it takes to make these skills part of a school’s culture rather than another curriculum that appears once a week. Dr. Dexter-Mazza shares some strategies for getting started, building teacher buy-in, and allowing successful practices to grow throughout a school or district. This conversation offers a practical look at what it means to teach children not only how to learn, but how to manage the experiences that can sometimes get in the way of learning, so we hope that you enjoy this conversation with Dr. Elizabeth Dexter-Mazza!

Show Notes:
[0:43] - Dr. Elizabeth Dexter-Mazza joins us to discuss teaching emotional regulation and problem-solving skills in elementary schools!
[2:55] - The goal is ultimately teaching students the skills that they need to become effective learners, especially in kindergarten through grade 2.
[4:10] - DBT skills developed for high-risk behaviors can benefit everyone, so they have been adapted for general education.
[7:19] - Dr. Dexter-Mazza explains how DBT teaches mindfulness and emotional skills and not just the kind of treatment provided in outpatient settings.
[10:34] - Technology leaves students little time to process emotions, making early preparation for impulsive reactions even more important!
[12:08] - Elizabeth's elementary curriculum adapts lessons to students' cognitive development and different learning needs.
[14:25] - Elizabeth believes that understanding emotions as thoughts, sensations, urges, and behaviors helps students recognize choices and respond more effectively.
[17:58] - Teachers who understand emotional dysregulation can approach their students differently and help them more effectively access learning.
[18:41] - Dr. Dexter-Mazza argues that when the emotional mind takes over, validation and other skills help students get their prefrontal cortex back online.
[20:57] - Starting DBT skills as early as kindergarten allows students to build on skills throughout their lives.
[22:01] - Teaching skills early can build more skillful communities and prevent struggles from becoming more extreme.
[24:39] - Breaking mindfulness into small, practiced behaviors helps neurodivergent learners manage distractions and focus their attention.
[27:37] - Mindfulness exercises become more effective when teachers link them to the specific skills students are practicing.
[29:50] - “Both sides” thinking helps students understand different perspectives and build stronger connections with others.
[32:15] - Hear how some simple on-task and off-task check-ins help students practice noticing where their attention is and bringing it back.
[34:18] - Ultimately, classroom teachers can build skills into everyday learning, starting wherever their school's capacity allows.
[38:17] - Find out how Elizabeth can be contacted.

Links and Related Resources:

• Episode 72: Prioritizing Co-Regulation and Self-Regulation in Communication with Danielle G. Kent. M.S., CCC-SLP

• Episode 79: How to Develop Social Thinking Skills with Michelle Garcia Winner, MA, CCC-SLP

• Episode 251: Sensory Processing & Regulation: How Play Rewires the Brain with Dr. Allie Ticktin, MA, OTD, OTR/L

• Episode 266: The Myth of the Resilient Child: When “Pushing Through” Becomes Harmful

• More Podcast Episodes

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