Emotions are not always Authentic in Coaching

Have you ever wondered whether the emotions your clients share are the full story or whether there’s something deeper waiting to be uncovered?

In this week’s episode of the podcast we explore one of the most thought-provoking principles in our series:

Emotions are not always Authentic.

At first, this concept can feel like a puzzle. As coaches, we often take our clients’ emotions at face value, believing that frustration, anger, or disappointment are clear and complete emotional truths. Yet, as we discuss in this episode, emotions can be layered and sometimes conceal a more authentic emotional experience beneath the surface.

We begin by exploring what happens when a client describes feeling “frustrated” about their lack of progress toward a goal. Through curiosity and emotional exploration, it may become clear that what lies beneath isn’t frustration at all; but sadness, grief, or even fear. Recognising this difference can be transformative.

As we unpack this principle, we reflect on our own experience of connecting with an authentic emotion. There was a moment when we realised that what we thought we felt was simply a cover for something deeper. When that deeper emotion surfaced, raw and unfiltered, it brought relief, understanding, and healing.

We also discuss how coaching with emotions isn’t about lingering endlessly in feelings. Rather, it’s about clarity and progress. By helping clients access their authentic emotions, we enable them to process their experiences, meet their needs, and move forward with greater confidence.

Throughout this conversation, we reflect on:

• How emotions can mask one another
• The difference between surface and authentic emotional experiences
• The role of conditioning in shaping which emotions we allow ourselves to express
• Why authentic emotional awareness accelerates coaching progress
• How understanding emotional authenticity helps resolve conflict, both internally and interpersonally

This episode is a reminder that coaching is emotional work at its core. As we deepen our awareness of authentic emotion, both our own and our clients’, we open the door to greater compassion, insight, and transformational change.

 

Timestamps:

00:00 – Introduction to the six principles series
01:00 – What does it mean for emotions to be “inauthentic”?
02:30 – Exploring client examples and the layers beneath frustration
04:30 – How curiosity reveals the real emotion beneath the surface
05:20 – Personal reflection: recognising authentic emotions in real life
08:45 – Conditioning and the emotions we learn to suppress
10:40 – The difference between primary and secondary emotions
12:00 – Why emotions coaching accelerates progress
14:30 – Conflict and communication from an inauthentic emotional place
16:20 – How understanding emotions transforms coaching conversations
17:00 – Resources for learning more about emotional coaching

 

Key Lessons Learned:

• Authentic emotions often sit beneath surface-level expressions such as frustration or anger.
• Helping clients explore their emotional depth leads to clarity, not confusion.
• Emotional awareness accelerates progress by dissolving unseen barriers.
• Self-reflection allows coaches to better recognise authentic emotion in others.
• Social and cultural conditioning shape how we experience and express emotions.
• Conflict often persists when people communicate from inauthentic emotional places.
• Recognising authentic emotion helps meet unmet needs and fosters true fulfilment.
• Emotional coaching isn’t “fluffy” it’s foundational to effective practice.
• Exploring emotions supports ethical, person-centred coaching.
• Curiosity is the key to uncovering authentic emotional truth.

 

Keywords:

emotional coaching, authentic emotions, coaching training, emotion awareness, emotional authenticity, coaching conversations, emotional intelligence, conflict resolution, emotional growth, professional coaching

 

Links & Resources

• mycoachingcourse.com – Take the quiz to find which coaching course is right for you
• igcompany.com/emotionscoaching – Explore our CPD on emotions coaching