Ep 147: How to Advocate for Police Families After a Traumatic Brain Injury
Release Date: 09/27/2024
Ep 172: When Doing Your Job Hurts: Understanding Moral Injury in First Responders
Code4Couples
You can do everything right, follow the rules, and still carry a call that won’t leave you alone. That’s moral injury. For first responders, trauma isn’t always about what you witness. Sometimes it’s about what you couldn’t do. Ashley Brockman, former paramedic and now counselor, shared her story of being stuck on a 9-1-1 call she couldn’t leave even as another call came over the radio for a child in cardiac arrest just two blocks away. Due to laws in Texas, leaving her first call would have been classified as patient abandonment. She followed the rules, did her job...
info_outline
Ep 171: When Trauma Doesn't Stay Boxed Up
Code4Couples
Police officers are trained to put their emotions in a box. Compartmentalization in policing is often what gets them through one more shift, one more crime scene, one more tragedy, and what keeps them safe. What happens when that box tips over? For many law enforcement officers and their families, it takes one personal crisis for every hidden nightmare to come rushing back. In this conversation with Detective Jody Thompson, his wife’s near-death experience during childbirth was the breaking point that brought years of law enforcement trauma crashing to the surface. His story is a...
info_outline
Ep 170: Alcohol and First Responder Culture
Code4Couples
Alcohol has long been embedded in first responder culture. From “choir practice” after shifts to bonding at happy hour, drinking can feel like part of the job. But for many officers, firefighters, and their spouses, what starts as social connection can quietly become a coping mechanism for trauma, stress, and the constant adrenaline rush of the job. When alcohol moves from the sidelines to center stage, the impact ripples far beyond the individual. It affects families, marriages, and entire departments. Joe Rizzuti, retired police officer and founder of First Responder Wellness of...
info_outline
Ep 169: Raising Strong Kids: Resilience Strategies for Law Enforcement Families
Code4Couples
When an officer serves, the entire family serves. In police families, stress doesn’t stop at the end of a shift; it echoes through the home, shaping the way spouses and children experience daily life. While much attention is given to officer wellness, the resilience of the whole family, especially children, is equally important. For children growing up in police families, safety and unpredictability often live side by side. They notice details that many of their peers overlook, such as locked doors, tense body language, or whether mom or dad seems on edge after a shift. This...
info_outline
Ep 168: Heart Disease in Law Enforcement
Code4Couples
Most cops worry about the dangers they face on duty, but few realize the biggest threat might come long after the uniform is hung up. Heart disease is taking our officers too soon, and in many cases, they never saw it coming. Research has shown that law enforcement officers live, on average, 20 years less than civilians. The two leading causes of death are suicide and heart disease. What makes cardiac issues particularly alarming is the age at which they strike. In the civilian population, the average heart attack happens at 65. For officers, it’s closer to 46, and that number keeps...
info_outline
Ep 167: Parenting Through the Impact of Law Enforcement on Kids
Code4Couples
When a parent wears the badge, the job doesn’t stay at work; it shapes family life, especially for children. Law enforcement kids grow up with unique stressors: unpredictable schedules, stories about crime and tragedy that spill over into conversations at home, and the tension of knowing their parents face real risks on the job. Even if they aren’t directly in danger, children often feel the weight of it, whether it’s overhearing talk about a violent call, sensing worry when their parents don’t check in, seeing incidents on social media or watching the news cover an incident involving...
info_outline
Ep 166: 9 Ways First Responder Couples Can Apologize and Repair Conflict
Code4Couples
If you’ve ever heard or said “I’m sorry, but…” you know how empty that apology feels. “Sorry” often gets tossed out as a quick fix to end the argument, not to heal the hurt. The problem is that those shallow apologies don’t repair anything. They pile up, leaving cracks in trust that get harder to ignore. For many first responder couples, conflict starts to feel like a battle to win instead of a wound to heal. Law enforcement officers, in particular, are trained with a survival mindset: “you win, you go home.” But when that belief crosses into marriage, it turns your...
info_outline
Ep 165: Increasing Resilience in Police and Emergency Personnel: Strengthening Your Mental Armor
Code4Couples
If you’re in law enforcement, you already know the job changes you, mentally, physically, emotionally, and relationally. What most people don’t realize is that those changes often pile up slowly, until something breaks down, sleep, relationships, health, or your outlook on the job. That’s exactly why Dr. Stephanie Conn wrote Increasing Resilience in Police and Emergency Personnel: Strengthening Your Mental Armor and why the second edition is more than just a refresh. It’s a timely, research-driven update that meets today’s law enforcement culture head-on, with realistic...
info_outline
Ep 164: The Challenges Women Face Behind the Badge
Code4Couples
Women in law enforcement face a unique set of challenges that often go unspoken, misunderstood, or minimized, both inside the department and at home. Monica Crawford is a former police officer, a law enforcement spouse, the author of Thriving Inside the Thin Blue Line, and the powerhouse behind Five-O Fierce and Fit. Her mission is to assist women in law enforcement reclaim their strength, mentally, physically, and emotionally and thrive inside the very culture that too often asks them to shrink. Today, we discuss the differences in the female law...
info_outline
Ep 163: Finding Balance in Law Enforcement Relationships
Code4Couples
What Law Enforcement Families Need to Know About Real Work-Life Balance When we talk about balance in law enforcement life, it often sounds like a personal issue, something you're expected to figure out quietly, in between overtime shifts and missed family dinners. The reality is balance isn't just about time management or stress reduction. It's about alignment between your job and your values, your needs and your partner’s, your role as a first responder and your role at home. And according to Elizabeth Ecklund, firefighter, nurse, social worker-in-training, and Antarctica-deployed...
info_outlineTrauma-informed relationships matter most when everything falls apart. In this episode, Joan shares how a traumatic brain injury reshaped her marriage, their finances, and the entire path to rebuilding stability.
In this powerful continuation of Joan VandeGreig’s story, you’ll learn:
• What really happens inside a police family when a head injury goes undiagnosed for months
• How chronic pain, confusion, and cumulative trauma strain a marriage
• The financial reality behind workers’ comp denials and stalled disability claims
• Why police disability retirement is rarely straightforward
• How Joan pieced together income, benefits, and resources to protect her family
• What every law enforcement spouse should understand before a crisis hits
I’m Cyndi Doyle, licensed professional counselor supervisor, founder of Code4Couples®, and author of Hold the Line. I help law enforcement couples stay connected and resilient through the unique stressors of the job.
📘 Get the Essential Guide to Protecting Your Law Enforcement Relationship
https://www.amazon.com/Hold-Line-Protecting-Enforcement-Relationship-ebook/dp/B08TPRTY9G#customerReviews
🎤 Book Cyndi for department trainings, spouse events, or keynotes:
https://code4couples.com/training/
00:00 Why Joan’s story matters for police families
01:00 When the injury changed everything
03:00 The long road to seizure awareness and medical clarity
04:30 Early signs, confusion, and emotional strain
06:00 The hidden financial dangers no one prepares you for
08:00 Workers’ comp denials and delayed diagnoses
10:00 Mounting credit card debt and survival mode
12:00 Fit-for-duty complications
14:30 When the system doesn’t talk to itself
16:00 Marriage impact: chronic pain and daily episodes
18:00 The medical maze of treatments, meds, and specialists
21:00 Rebuilding income after forced early retirement
24:00 The turning point: new diagnoses, new barriers
28:00 “Your brain is worth $45,000?”
30:00 The fight for disability, retirement, and benefits
33:00 What finally worked — and why
36:00 Living benefits, policies, and long-term planning
39:00 The PSOB journey and what families must know
42:00 The TLC Method explained
45:00 How Fetch Your Wealth helps first responder families
48:00 Final thoughts and resources for police couples