Setting Healthy Boundaries with Your Teens and Tweens with Dr. John Townsend
Raising Mentally Healthy Kids with Michelle Nietert
Release Date: 02/01/2022
Empathetic Listening, Managing Screen Time, Adequate Socialization, and Back-to-School Anxiety
Raising Mentally Healthy Kids with Michelle Nietert
If you've listened before, you'll notice something different about today's episode. Over the past four months, I've been doing a radio segment called Mental Health Monday for Magic 104.1 in Oklahoma City. We've covered a wide range of topics from how empathic listening can help our kids manage anxiety to setting healthy boundaries with our kids while we work from home. You can text any questions you'd like me to answer in upcoming segments to 405-460-5104! Topics we cover: 🧠 (1:14) How can I know if my child is mentally healthy? What can we as parents do to help raise mentally healthy kids?...
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Hope When Your Teen Struggles with Chronic Illness & Depression with Jennifer Dukes Lee & Her Daughter Anna
Raising Mentally Healthy Kids with Michelle Nietert
Most of us don’t love change, but for our teens, times of transition can be especially stressful and lead to anxiety and depression. But don’t lose hope, parents! In this episode, I’m excited to share my conversation with author Jennifer Dukes Lee and her daughter, Anna about how their journey through Anna’s depression and chronic illness has actually made them closer and their faith stronger. We also discuss when to offer help, when to stick it out and when to move on, and Anna shares some practical things that have helped her process her emotions in a healthy way. Key points from our...
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How Our Thoughts Affect Our Physical Health with Debra Fileta, M.A., LPC
Raising Mentally Healthy Kids with Michelle Nietert
The best way to teach our children healthy behaviors is by modeling them, but as parents, we often find ourselves too busy to exercise, eat healthy meals, or get enough sleep. In the second half of my chat with licensed professional counselor and author Debra Fileta, we discuss how faulty perceptions affect our decision-making, why seeking professional help for mental health is taboo in the Christian church, how our emotional health is linked to our physical health, and some practical ways to develop good sleep hygiene. Key points from our conversation: 🧠What you think impacts how you...
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How to Create Emotional & Spiritual Health in Your Home with Debra Fileta, M.A., LPC
Raising Mentally Healthy Kids with Michelle Nietert
I want to ask you a simple, but hard question - “Are you really okay?” In this episode with licensed professional counselor and author Debra Fileta, we’re focusing on how we as parents can do the hard work of building emotional awareness within ourselves so we can normalize talking about emotions within our homes. Debra also shares how our view of God, others, and self affects our spiritual health and offers a practical exercise you can do with your child to help them explore their emotions and create healthy conversations. Key points from our conversation: 🩹 Healthy people make...
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Repairing Damage in Family Relationships with Ann Taylor McNiece, LMFT
Raising Mentally Healthy Kids with Michelle Nietert
In our last episode with Marriage & Family Therapist Ann Taylor McNiece we talked about how we can engage in healthy discussion and avoid conflict that destroys. In the second part of our conversation, we’re discussing how we can repair the damage that’s already been caused, specifically in our family relationships. Key points from our conversation: 🩹 What you consider a repair may not be what the other person considers a repair, but your repair attempts count. 👂 Own any part of the problem you can gets your partner out of the attack cycle. Try reflective listening - reflect what you...
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Key Communication Skills to Engage in Healthy Conflict with Your Family with Ann Taylor McNiece, LMFT
Raising Mentally Healthy Kids with Michelle Nietert
As much as we may try, we can’t avoid conflict and have healthy relationships. In this episode with Marriage & Family Therapist Ann Taylor McNiece, we’re sharing some skills to help you engage in healthy discussion and avoid conflict that destroys. While most of this conversation is focused on spouses, these communication skills will impact every relationship in your life and change the dynamic of your household. Key points from our conversation: 💍 All marriages struggle, but you can choose to engage in a way that shows honor or one that causes destruction. The first 5 to 7 years of...
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Overcoming Dysregulation through Families Trying Softer with Aundi Kolber
Raising Mentally Healthy Kids with Michelle Nietert
In this episode, I'm continuing my conversation with author and therapist, Aundi Kolber and digging into what it looks like to try softer with our families and the profound effect co-regulation can have on our children's nervous systems. We also walk through a practical technique you can use to ground yourself and share some encouragement for parents who feel their house is constantly dysregulated. Key points from our conversation: ❓ Become curious about the type of home you grew up in. It will give you ideas and information about your own body. 🔎 Examine if there are things in your...
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Moving Families Out of Anxiety, Stress, and Survival Mode with Aundi Kolber
Raising Mentally Healthy Kids with Michelle Nietert
In society we're often told to try harder, but what would it look like to try softer? In this episode, I'm joined by author and therapist, Aundi Kolber who shares about what it means to try softer, how we can help our kids process the trauma stuck in their bodies, and what it means to co-regulate. Key points from our conversation: 🧠 Trauma is anything that overwhelms our nervous system and its capacity to cope. That trauma gets stuck in our bodies and must be processed. 🧬 When trauma is "stuck," it doesn't metabolize through our bodies and our brains cannot recognize...
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Overcoming Mindset Struggles with Brooke Tilghman
Raising Mentally Healthy Kids with Michelle Nietert
In the last two episodes, I’ve been joined by Todd and Brooke Tilghman who have shared about their journey with their son who has battled with depression and anxiety, but this episode is a bit different. In this conversation, Brooke gets candid about her mental health struggles with post-partum depression and anxiety, as well as the tension she’s felt as a Christian who has found medication effective in treating her symptoms. She also offers hope to struggling parents that the situation is temporary and you don’t have to be driven by your feelings or fear. Key points from our...
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Winning as a Parent When Your Kid has a Mental Health Issue with Brooke & Todd Tilghman
Raising Mentally Healthy Kids with Michelle Nietert
In the second half of my conversation with the authors of Brooke and Todd Tilghman, they’re sharing their journey of supporting their oldest son Eagan through difficulty in school and mental health issues that arose as a result. In this episode, they explain why and when they chose to seek professional help for their son, what the process looked like for them as parents, the changes they made to promote Eagan’s mental health, and different ways we can “win” when our children struggle with mental health complications. Key points from our conversation: 🗣️ If your child...
info_outlineI’m so excited to kick off our new season with this rich conversation I had with psychologist and author Dr. John Townsend about how we can set healthy boundaries with our teens and tweens. We cover a wide range of topics including three skills every parent should utilize to raise mentally healthy kids, how to build a stronger relationship with kids moving toward autonomy, connecting with kids struggling with gender identity, and so much more.
Key points from our conversation:
💬 Some parents tend to fragilize their kids rather than setting healthy boundaries. Enter their world and find compassion. If you’re not sure, take your child to a counselor to help determine where they are.
⛔ A “trigger” isn’t when something upsets you, it’s a clinical word used when something brings up traumatic experiences that affect your ability to function.
✨ There are three skills every parent should utilize to raise mentally healthy kids –
- Warmth – connect and enter the child’s world
- Appropriate strictness – there must be boundaries and structure
- Realistic expectations - neither child nor parents will be perfect
🤝 As your children become autonomous, moving toward them in the negative moments will help build a stronger connection. Sit with them, but still enforce appropriate disciplines.
💕 Support doesn’t mean you share an opinion, but that you love them completely.
🧑 Kids struggling with gender is a normal experience today. The most important thing is that you stay connected, address if there’s any danger, and give the information you have. Help them with their character because healthy character will make the right decisions.
🗣️ Healthy character comes from learning to bond and connect, helping children speak up and set boundaries, getting rid of the inner critic, and accepting themselves and reality. Our job as parents is to work on the character. Remind them that they are more than one thing – their gender shouldn’t be their full identity.
🧠 You can determine if your child’s detachment has become unhealthy by asking if they’re emotionally engaged with the family, helpful, vulnerable, and doing okay with school and their hobbies.
👣 If your child is hesitant to spend more time with the family, try an activity. An activity with less eye contact like walking can make them more comfortable. They want to be understood and are waiting to open up, but it’s our job to come up with the framework.
👂 Practice listening without judgment. Lead with curiosity instead of aiming to correct. You earn the right to give truth with grace and listening. The order matters. You have to put in the time.
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