Overcoming Dysregulation through Families Trying Softer with Aundi Kolber
Raising Mentally Healthy Kids with Michelle Nietert
Release Date: 05/11/2022
Empathetic Listening, Managing Screen Time, Adequate Socialization, and Back-to-School Anxiety
Raising Mentally Healthy Kids with Michelle Nietert
If you've listened before, you'll notice something different about today's episode. Over the past four months, I've been doing a radio segment called Mental Health Monday for Magic 104.1 in Oklahoma City. We've covered a wide range of topics from how empathic listening can help our kids manage anxiety to setting healthy boundaries with our kids while we work from home. You can text any questions you'd like me to answer in upcoming segments to 405-460-5104! Topics we cover: 🧠 (1:14) How can I know if my child is mentally healthy? What can we as parents do to help raise mentally healthy kids?...
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Hope When Your Teen Struggles with Chronic Illness & Depression with Jennifer Dukes Lee & Her Daughter Anna
Raising Mentally Healthy Kids with Michelle Nietert
Most of us don’t love change, but for our teens, times of transition can be especially stressful and lead to anxiety and depression. But don’t lose hope, parents! In this episode, I’m excited to share my conversation with author Jennifer Dukes Lee and her daughter, Anna about how their journey through Anna’s depression and chronic illness has actually made them closer and their faith stronger. We also discuss when to offer help, when to stick it out and when to move on, and Anna shares some practical things that have helped her process her emotions in a healthy way. Key points from our...
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How Our Thoughts Affect Our Physical Health with Debra Fileta, M.A., LPC
Raising Mentally Healthy Kids with Michelle Nietert
The best way to teach our children healthy behaviors is by modeling them, but as parents, we often find ourselves too busy to exercise, eat healthy meals, or get enough sleep. In the second half of my chat with licensed professional counselor and author Debra Fileta, we discuss how faulty perceptions affect our decision-making, why seeking professional help for mental health is taboo in the Christian church, how our emotional health is linked to our physical health, and some practical ways to develop good sleep hygiene. Key points from our conversation: 🧠What you think impacts how you...
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How to Create Emotional & Spiritual Health in Your Home with Debra Fileta, M.A., LPC
Raising Mentally Healthy Kids with Michelle Nietert
I want to ask you a simple, but hard question - “Are you really okay?” In this episode with licensed professional counselor and author Debra Fileta, we’re focusing on how we as parents can do the hard work of building emotional awareness within ourselves so we can normalize talking about emotions within our homes. Debra also shares how our view of God, others, and self affects our spiritual health and offers a practical exercise you can do with your child to help them explore their emotions and create healthy conversations. Key points from our conversation: 🩹 Healthy people make...
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Repairing Damage in Family Relationships with Ann Taylor McNiece, LMFT
Raising Mentally Healthy Kids with Michelle Nietert
In our last episode with Marriage & Family Therapist Ann Taylor McNiece we talked about how we can engage in healthy discussion and avoid conflict that destroys. In the second part of our conversation, we’re discussing how we can repair the damage that’s already been caused, specifically in our family relationships. Key points from our conversation: 🩹 What you consider a repair may not be what the other person considers a repair, but your repair attempts count. 👂 Own any part of the problem you can gets your partner out of the attack cycle. Try reflective listening - reflect what you...
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Key Communication Skills to Engage in Healthy Conflict with Your Family with Ann Taylor McNiece, LMFT
Raising Mentally Healthy Kids with Michelle Nietert
As much as we may try, we can’t avoid conflict and have healthy relationships. In this episode with Marriage & Family Therapist Ann Taylor McNiece, we’re sharing some skills to help you engage in healthy discussion and avoid conflict that destroys. While most of this conversation is focused on spouses, these communication skills will impact every relationship in your life and change the dynamic of your household. Key points from our conversation: 💍 All marriages struggle, but you can choose to engage in a way that shows honor or one that causes destruction. The first 5 to 7 years of...
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Overcoming Dysregulation through Families Trying Softer with Aundi Kolber
Raising Mentally Healthy Kids with Michelle Nietert
In this episode, I'm continuing my conversation with author and therapist, Aundi Kolber and digging into what it looks like to try softer with our families and the profound effect co-regulation can have on our children's nervous systems. We also walk through a practical technique you can use to ground yourself and share some encouragement for parents who feel their house is constantly dysregulated. Key points from our conversation: ❓ Become curious about the type of home you grew up in. It will give you ideas and information about your own body. 🔎 Examine if there are things in your...
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Moving Families Out of Anxiety, Stress, and Survival Mode with Aundi Kolber
Raising Mentally Healthy Kids with Michelle Nietert
In society we're often told to try harder, but what would it look like to try softer? In this episode, I'm joined by author and therapist, Aundi Kolber who shares about what it means to try softer, how we can help our kids process the trauma stuck in their bodies, and what it means to co-regulate. Key points from our conversation: 🧠 Trauma is anything that overwhelms our nervous system and its capacity to cope. That trauma gets stuck in our bodies and must be processed. 🧬 When trauma is "stuck," it doesn't metabolize through our bodies and our brains cannot recognize...
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Overcoming Mindset Struggles with Brooke Tilghman
Raising Mentally Healthy Kids with Michelle Nietert
In the last two episodes, I’ve been joined by Todd and Brooke Tilghman who have shared about their journey with their son who has battled with depression and anxiety, but this episode is a bit different. In this conversation, Brooke gets candid about her mental health struggles with post-partum depression and anxiety, as well as the tension she’s felt as a Christian who has found medication effective in treating her symptoms. She also offers hope to struggling parents that the situation is temporary and you don’t have to be driven by your feelings or fear. Key points from our...
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Winning as a Parent When Your Kid has a Mental Health Issue with Brooke & Todd Tilghman
Raising Mentally Healthy Kids with Michelle Nietert
In the second half of my conversation with the authors of Brooke and Todd Tilghman, they’re sharing their journey of supporting their oldest son Eagan through difficulty in school and mental health issues that arose as a result. In this episode, they explain why and when they chose to seek professional help for their son, what the process looked like for them as parents, the changes they made to promote Eagan’s mental health, and different ways we can “win” when our children struggle with mental health complications. Key points from our conversation: 🗣️ If your child...
info_outlineKey points from our conversation:
❓ Become curious about the type of home you grew up in. It will give you ideas and information about your own body.
🔎 Examine if there are things in your routine that habitually cause you anxiety. Notice how your body feels. Try grounding techniques – practices that use your 5 senses to bring you to the present moment.
🚀 "5,4,3,2,1 Blast Off" technique – identify 5 things you can see, 4 things you can hear, 3 things you can touch, 2 things you can smell, and 1 thing you can taste.
✨ Regulating is a skill. When we’re dysregulated, we don’t have the capacity to solve problems strategically. Anything you can do to build your regulation will produce more goodness and life because you can evaluate what’s working.
🧠 Our regulation shapes our children's nervous systems. The more we ground, it translates to them. The more you practice, the faster you can regulate
💛 If you grew up in a dysregulated home, honor that your response to how you've survived your life is valid. Have compassion for how hard it’s been to get where you are today.
🩹 Compassion brings integration that allows for growth and change. Every single moment is a new moment and the sooner you begin to turn with compassion for your own story and your kids, the closer you have ever been to healing.
🥰 When we find compassion for ourselves, we can extend it to our kids.
🤝 Cognitive knowledge does not equate to embodied knowledge. Kids need to experience co-regulation with you. They need safety to be able to be open to what it looks like to problem solve.
🗣️ Connect, then correct. Do they feel heard? Kids aren’t open to learning if their bodies are dysregulated.
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