It's Christmastown
ANDY LEVY, MAURA QUINT & CHARLES STAR return for a latke contest and a little HANUKKAH ON RYE () but first... Everyone is being disrespectful to the story of Hanukkah. THEME: "," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather PART ONE Minyan introductions … Jewish menu check … Podcast Goy … Hallmark Hanukkah History … Jewishness at 11.5, for future museums … Instant Bubbe, chocolate syrup … "Hollywood" … Peter DeLuise, James Caan Rule … Pandering, mockery, Batman … Dissociation, grandparental Jewishness… PART TWO Cast Rundown ... The Expositional Challenge: You've Got...
info_outlineIt's Christmastown
HOLLY ANDERSON brings us a piping hot basket of dogs to help us in GUIDING EMILY (), but… TEASER: We're at a loss … DMT and Togo … Live barking … THEME: "," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather PART ONE Holly's forever home … Garth? … Hallmark knowledge (+200 Dodgeball) … Healthy for work: a millennial attack … Talking Dog theory … Eric McCormack, yellow lab … Surface dog, onscreen braille … Phone accessibility, unicornmoji … Timeless, America+… PART TWO Cast Rundown … Drew? … Dog interlude … The Expositional Challenge … Afraid of beeps …...
info_outlineIt's Christmastown
Why did we try to find LOVE IN GLACIER NATIONAL PARK ()? Because it is there. As is… TEASER: The horniest avalanche-safety film we've ever seen, trapped in the Beavis terrarium of the ancestral mind, with Steve. THEME: "," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather PART ONE Is the Angel Jason Giambi? … Avalanche safety tips … A feast of table-read first takes … Extreme Hallmark throwback … The title! … Cast Rundown … The Expositional Challenge … Plot Mop-Up: Samantha, dog trainer, mom's apprentice; Sonya, stupid sexy Flanders mode … Beavis-world vision … Not pregnant, adios!...
info_outlineIt's Christmastown
We're having a launch party for the stuffed Italian bread triptychs honoring SISTERHOOD, INC. (), but first... TEASER: Don't fiddle with the knobs, or it's Queens for ya. THEME: "," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather PART ONE Happy Employment Movie! … Greeting cards, Tech Nazis, Roko's Basilisk … Jim Rome Take: A Hannibal Lecter Group Text Experience … Sacramento … No Trump phlegm, no fizz… PART TWO Cast Rundown … The Expositional Challenge … Plot Mop-Up: The, uh, entire romantic plot; board structure; 30 Billion Dowmericans; mature/good...
info_outlineIt's Christmastown
We’re spending all day in the car on our way to a stationary restaurant, and them’s the breaks with AN UNEXPECTED VALENTINE (), but first... TEASER: Our respect for the Boboli Corporation. THEME: "," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather PART ONE Foster Grant, CF Frost, Wells Fargo … Jim Caviezel and Scully … Bonus preview … Nick Bond Appreciation Station … “Fries” vs. “Pizza”... PART TWO We counted them down! … “Christmas” explains a lot … Can’t remember movies … Why do these people meet? … Cast Rundown … Soriano or Osuna? …...
info_outlineIt's Christmastown
It's a new era of stripping color from the world, and all anyone can ask is WHERE ARE YOU, CHRISTMAS? (), but first... Yeah, the audio thing was Dave's fault. I said it. THEME: "," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather PART ONE How I met your mother ... Doc Hollywood and Danny Wuerffel (again) ... Pleasantville, but Hallmark ... Back in the saddle ... Cast Rundown and Expositional Challenge ... Larded with Hallmark-movie metacognition ... Recognition, not comedy ... New Year's movies ... Nice vision of Christmas ... David Lynch's last film ... PART TWO Spot the...
info_outlineIt's Christmastown
We brought a murderer home who had an advent calendar kill schedule, and 'TWAS THE DATE BEFORE CHRISTMAS (), but first... A Christmastown message from TV's Andy Levy ... THEME: "," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather PART ONE Watching with a widow ... Implausible landlordism ... It's fine, it's a Chilis II ... Elevated basement, structurally self-aware ... The AI/Gattaca of Hallmark ... PART TWO Cast Rundown, Expositional Challenge and Plot Mop-Up: Bryan vs. traditional suits; Jessie and Christmas games ... No gazebo, no kiss ... Groening's a Karpluk ... Buckley...
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DC PIERSON hitches a ride on a taco truck to THE SANTA SUMMIT (), but... Is that the blowjob guy? THEME: "," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather PART ONE Meet DC! ... Santacon: A cold version of St. Patrick's Day ... DC's Hallmark Wicker Man experience ... Southwestern pro-Christmas ... A 100-disc changer... PART TWO Cast Rundown ... The Expositional Challenge ... Plot Mop-Up: Ava's Ben crush; Liam and Mac, construction networking ... Parasocial cast relationships ... The Beesley Touch ... A movie made of extra bits... PART THREE Spot the Angel: Knowingly secular; Second Angel...
info_outlineIt's Christmastown
JAMIE KIRSTEN HOWARD lost her credit card and the clerk is CHECKIN IT TWICE (), but... We've already got the furry erotica! THEME: "," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather PART ONE Glitterburrito ... Georgia championship hockey ... How Hallmark casting works PART TWO Jamie's Christmas credentials ... Mariah-Grinch Continuum ... Is the Grinch horny? Furry? ... Cast Rundown ... The Expositional Challenge ... Plot Mop-Up: Deal-stealing boyfriend; Team Christmas Week; French-Canadian players ... Just settle! Like the rest of us! ... Covid-fueled throwback ... The Thee/Thou Threshold ......
info_outlineIt's Christmastown
Our secret families said it's TIME FOR HER TO COME HOME FOR CHRISTMAS (), but first... Let's sing ... THEME: "," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather PART ONE Welcome to the cumbersome title, b*tch ... Cocoa in camo ... Throwback movie ... Cast Rundown ... Episode titles greatest hits ... The Expositional Challenge ... Plot Mop-Up: Secret aunt, choir exercises ... Valid Wicker Man ... "A little 'Get Out'" ... PART TWO Spot the Angel: Susan and Pastor John ... Eat Your Heart Out: Oh my God dude; James Bond cocoa; pot-pie protocol; eggnog pancakes; off gluten;...
info_outlineIt's PUMPKIN EVERYTHING (2022), and we'll never pass up a good thing.
Radio by seniors, for seniors ...
THEME: "Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather ...
PART ONE
Bug planet! ... Michael Ironside Appreciation Station ... Extremely weird, way too real ... Dead malls, pizza chains ... Repetitive love arc. vs. elder mortality and AA ... A rom-som template on real vulnerability ... Bruce Arians ... Our aging [step]parents[-in-law], aging and driving ... First normal person in a Hallmark world ... Committed, sincere, Hallmark dialogue ... Fundamental grouchy love ... Real Crossover: A Canadian indie film in a Hallmark universe ...
Break: Basil Poledouris, "Klendathu Drop," Starship Troopers soundtrack.
PART TWO
Cast Rundown ... The Expositional Challenge ... Plot Mop-Up: Hey, Good Morning; Amy Instagram; she's a business ... Jazz aficionado ... Senior Radio ... Apology, AA confessional, let's race! ... Scarecrow teen treachery ... Spot the Angel: No ... Eat Your Heart Out: Caramel mortarboard; foliage week, proper names, time dilation; first pumpkin latte of the season; late Loggia, Alex Jones; hotel pitcher of cider; Luke and Lillian's pumpkin sage ravioli; Mountain Dew Braised Rojas ... The Hallmark Expanded Universe: Tom is Billy Pilgrimed here; diner kid in the movies, here, now; "Pumpkin Pie Wars"; "Holiday Date," the undercover Jewish experience, Delco Extended Universe ...
Break: Original music by Chris Collingwood
PART THREE
Letters to Santa: Andrea Canning, the Dateline anchor, USS Christmas and IMDB ... Overdetermined: Necessarily overt talks; soundtrack cue, swing hooting ... Crossover: Starship Troopers and Scanners, of course ... The Hallmark Voight-Kampff Test: Mom Lillian, jerk-horny, work-life imbalanced ...
Break: Original music by Chris Collingwood
PART FOUR
Who's the Real Villain?: The elder care industry ... Don't wanna know the book's plot ... Full Mendo ... Title/Sequel: Good title; fed up; that feel, Tone ... Rating: 3.5 ... "Inchon Landing on the War on Christmas" ... The Leftovers: The Jeff Beesley experience ... The Michael Ironside IMDB tour ... McBain ... Surfacing/Scanners ... Cohagen, horse breeder ... Megawattage ... Soundalike narrative soundtrack ... Merry Christmas!
All other music by Chris Collingwood of Look Park and Fountains of Wayne, except: "Orchestral Sports Theme" by Chris Collingwood and Rick Murnane and "Scanner Duel," by Howard Shore, Scanners soundtrack.
Buy our show artist Caitlin Fitz Gerald's excellent book: Here.