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133 - Women Laughing Alone with Christmas (Hockey Edition)

It's Christmastown

Release Date: 10/24/2024

136 - Gergich in the Machine show art 136 - Gergich in the Machine

It's Christmastown

It's a new era of stripping color from the world, and all anyone can ask is WHERE ARE YOU, CHRISTMAS? (), but first... Yeah, the audio thing was Dave's fault. I said it. THEME: "," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather PART ONE  How I met your mother ... Doc Hollywood and Danny Wuerffel (again) ... Pleasantville, but Hallmark ... Back in the saddle ... Cast Rundown and Expositional Challenge ... Larded with Hallmark-movie metacognition ... Recognition, not comedy ... New Year's movies ... Nice vision of Christmas ... David Lynch's last film ...      PART TWO   Spot the...

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135 - An Open-Faced Hallmark Movie show art 135 - An Open-Faced Hallmark Movie

It's Christmastown

We brought a murderer home who had an advent calendar kill schedule, and 'TWAS THE DATE BEFORE CHRISTMAS (), but first... A Christmastown message from TV's Andy Levy ... THEME: "," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather PART ONE  Watching with a widow ... Implausible landlordism ... It's fine, it's a Chilis II ... Elevated basement, structurally self-aware ... The AI/Gattaca of Hallmark ...      PART TWO   Cast Rundown, Expositional Challenge and Plot Mop-Up: Bryan vs. traditional suits; Jessie and Christmas games ... No gazebo, no kiss ... Groening's a Karpluk ... Buckley...

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134 - Giving Millennial Pandering a Hand show art 134 - Giving Millennial Pandering a Hand

It's Christmastown

DC PIERSON hitches a ride on a taco truck to THE SANTA SUMMIT (), but... Is that the blowjob guy? THEME: "," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather PART ONE Meet DC! ... Santacon: A cold version of St. Patrick's Day ... DC's Hallmark Wicker Man experience ... Southwestern pro-Christmas ... A 100-disc changer...  PART TWO Cast Rundown ... The Expositional Challenge ... Plot Mop-Up: Ava's Ben crush; Liam and Mac, construction networking ... Parasocial cast relationships ... The Beesley Touch ... A movie made of extra bits...  PART THREE Spot the Angel: Knowingly secular; Second Angel...

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133 - Women Laughing Alone with Christmas (Hockey Edition) show art 133 - Women Laughing Alone with Christmas (Hockey Edition)

It's Christmastown

JAMIE KIRSTEN HOWARD lost her credit card and the clerk is CHECKIN IT TWICE (), but... We've already got the furry erotica! THEME: "," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather PART ONE  Glitterburrito ... Georgia championship hockey ... How Hallmark casting works PART TWO   Jamie's Christmas credentials ... Mariah-Grinch Continuum ... Is the Grinch horny? Furry? ... Cast Rundown ... The Expositional Challenge ... Plot Mop-Up: Deal-stealing boyfriend; Team Christmas Week; French-Canadian players ... Just settle! Like the rest of us! ... Covid-fueled throwback ... The Thee/Thou Threshold ......

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132 - Leftover Choirs Are How We Get Aunts show art 132 - Leftover Choirs Are How We Get Aunts

It's Christmastown

Our secret families said it's TIME FOR HER TO COME HOME FOR CHRISTMAS (), but first... Let's sing ... THEME: "," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather PART ONE  Welcome to the cumbersome title, b*tch ... Cocoa in camo ... Throwback movie ... Cast Rundown ... Episode titles greatest hits ... The Expositional Challenge ... Plot Mop-Up: Secret aunt, choir exercises ... Valid Wicker Man ... "A little 'Get Out'" ...      PART TWO   Spot the Angel: Susan and Pastor John ... Eat Your Heart Out: Oh my God dude; James Bond cocoa; pot-pie protocol; eggnog pancakes; off gluten;...

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131 - Live, Donut, Repeat show art 131 - Live, Donut, Repeat

It's Christmastown

MAURA QUINT & CHARLES STAR get trapped going ROUND AND ROUND () with us, but... Shut up, kids, it's the second episode of Hanukkah! THEME: "," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather PART ONE  Chag Sameach ... We regret the errors ... It's good! ... Jew Belong meets war ... Good movie crammed into Hallmark, better than Christmas fare ... Crying at The Rock, Actually ... Jade   PART TWO   Cast Rundown ... The Expositional Challenge ... Plot Mop-Up: Maura's Monologue; dreidel-dependent f*ckups; dating-help time loop ... Nerd cred ... Your boyfriend/son will explain the nerd...

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130 - Curated Pilot, Dead Lobstermen show art 130 - Curated Pilot, Dead Lobstermen

It's Christmastown

MEREDITH CLARK and Jeb travel to CHRISTMAS ISLAND (), but... The lighthouse made me so angry ... THEME: "," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather PART ONE  Attracted to the Menendez Brothers ... Six years of sloth ... Brain-braising movie cred ... "Christmas Neutral" ... Fuck 30 Rock (Geographical) ... "A Christmas Kettling" ... OK glurge, insufficient bonkersocity ...   PART TWO   Cast Rundown ... The Expositional Challenge ... Plot Mop-Up: Christmas Guy Oliver, Grandpa Postal Santa; week nor'easter; anti-business business parents ... Discount billionaires ... Pilot, cook, flight...

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129 - The Almost Famous of Brain Cancer show art 129 - The Almost Famous of Brain Cancer

It's Christmastown

We're checking out cemeteries for when MS. CHRISTMAS COMES TO TOWN (), but... You're gonna wanna braise that elf ... THEME: "," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather PART ONE  Blood tests ... Letters to Santa: 'Are You Dead?' Edition ... New big TV ... Gatorade trauma basketball ... WWI of motion smoothing ... Jobless with SSRI's ...  PART TWO   Cast Rundown ... The Expositional Challenge ... Plot Mop-Up: College lover, Washington New England ... It's the terminal diagnosis show! ... Miss Christmas: Origins ... Cancer, Grief and Kindness: The Movie ... Commendably adult ...  ...

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128 - Bring the Troops Back to Home Goods show art 128 - Bring the Troops Back to Home Goods

It's Christmastown

JESSICA RITCHEY supports a HOLIDAY FOR HEROES () because:  It's not a movie you watch, it's a pill you take ... THEME: "," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather ... PART ONE  Save a Troop Child ... "Dad History" - Michael Jackson ... Jessica: Tubi Magus ... Treat Williams ... Marc Blucas ... Muscle Twink Death ... NCAA athlete ... BDUs, dad bod ... Hallmark Hall of Fame vs. This ... Hallmark's Jehovah's Witness energy ... Home Goods ... S'mores contest ... Slighting the troops ...  PART TWO   Cast Rundown ... The Expositional Challenge ... Plot Mop-Up: Military re-up; bringing...

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127 - A Gazebo Movie with Christmas Attached show art 127 - A Gazebo Movie with Christmas Attached

It's Christmastown

Grab a 2x4 for the gazebo, it's A VERY MERRY BRIDESMAID (), but... Let's get back to the ugly Christmas sweater bachelor party ... THEME: "," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather PART ONE  Meet me at the gazebo ... Sleepytime ... Bright Lights, Big Sweater ... O'Henry ≠ Bierce ... Long trip, short distance ... Self-improvement procrastination ... Christmas Eve/Day weddings/birthdays ... Knifed by your own brother ... PART TWO   , hear the Fascist Date story ... Inside the Game ... Drizzle, the condom ... Institutional Haley Joel Osment bias ... Cast Rundown ... The Expositional...

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More Episodes

JAMIE KIRSTEN HOWARD lost her credit card and the clerk is CHECKIN IT TWICE (2023), but...

We've already got the furry erotica!

THEME: "Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather

PART ONE 

Glitterburrito ... Georgia championship hockey ... How Hallmark casting works

PART TWO  

Jamie's Christmas credentials ... Mariah-Grinch Continuum ... Is the Grinch horny? Furry? ... Cast Rundown ... The Expositional Challenge ... Plot Mop-Up: Deal-stealing boyfriend; Team Christmas Week; French-Canadian players ... Just settle! Like the rest of us! ... Covid-fueled throwback ... The Thee/Thou Threshold ... How do you act a story like this well? ... A "being adult and normal" fakeout ... Brain damage      

PART THREE 

Spot the Angel: Ashley's dad and Scott's coach ... A literal bible ... Eat Your Heart Out: Grandma's dire eggnog; The Cider Social; awful pastries, sugar drinks; Barbie food; stadium peppermint tea; Sleepytime mascot, pajama gun, candlelit ushers; the Drunken Puck; airport chocolates, airport beer ... Clear hotel lobby store ... Zamboni driving in the Richard Scarry region of the brain ... The Hallmark Expanded Universe: French 85 Magazine, "How to Survive Christmas Alone"; hockey tournament/goon clash   

PART FOUR 

Overdetermined: Forced credit-card fussiness; "But I'm different"; plot-end collision and bastard father ... False Ray Bourque information ... Scott, winter ignorant ... Crossover: Scott, Deadpool adjacency and sassy Kristen Bell; money and a rewrite away from a real rom-com; Alex Garland's Civil War; LA to Vegas, Idaho Falls to Spokane ... The Hallmark Voight-Kampff Test: Dave, rowdy child, good eater ... Great Moments in Moppetry: Googe-sound boy; 3 ... Who's the Real Villain: Ambition, cruel fatherhood, misogyny/the bar is THAT low      

PART FIVE

Rating: 3 (non-derogatory) ... "Honestly, I'm fine with this" ... The Leftovers: Non-interruptive work-from-home ... Protagonist's dream/career age ... "Those who can't play, coach" ... A smooth 84 ... Pod Yourself The Wire namedrops ... Gretzky 3:16 ... Plus/Minus and stats annoyance ... Kevin Fair, Get Carter, Josie and the Pussycats, and The Core ... Saw 3-D ... "Idaho Falls" ... Postgame interview BS ... You know how to ruin a cider social ... Merry Christmas!  

All other music by Chris Collingwood of Look Park and Fountains of Wayne, except: "Orchestral Sports Theme" by Chris Collingwood and Rick Murnane.

Jamie's Bluesky HERE