458-Why Doesn't She Want Sex: Drop The Expectations
Delight Your Marriage
Let’s set the scene- You’ve planned the perfect evening. A Friday night—date night. You and your wife are dressed to the nines. There’s a show, a fantastic dinner, and deep conversation that reconnects your hearts. But then you arrive back home… What are you hoping will happen next? Here’s the truth: that unspoken hope—your expectation—might be doing more harm than you realize. When a husband subconsciously expects intimacy, it can feel like pressure to his wife. And that pressure? It makes her withdraw. Intimacy begins to feel transactional—like something she owes you, a...
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457 - Why Doesn't She Want Sex: The Basics
Delight Your Marriage
We know that intimacy is an integral part of married life. But what happens when that intimacy… isn’t happening? You’ve tried to explain, you’ve tried to give your point of view, you’ve even tried to give pointers, and still… nothing. What can you do? At Delight Your Marriage, we have developed a framework for what men and women need in order to feel loved and thrive in their marriages and, in turn, move towards intimacy. When these things are missing from a marriage, it can often cause bitterness, resentment, and can lead to months, even years, of lack of...
info_outline![456-Don't Give Up (my husband joins me :)) [Re-Release] show art](https://assets.libsyn.com/item/33849792?height=50&width=50)
456-Don't Give Up (my husband joins me :)) [Re-Release]
Delight Your Marriage
We are so glad to be able to share a re-release episode with you this week! My husband, Dario, joins us again and he, as always, has some words of encouragement for you. We hope this episode does indeed encourage you and bless you! ------------- Nov. 11, 2021 Don’t give up. My goal today is to encourage you. You’re doing a really good job. Just by tuning in, you’re winning. You’re seeking to love your spouse well, even when it doesn’t look like it matters. You’re seeking to do God’s will in the midst of your circumstances. My husband is on the show today because...
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455-Honor Their Strengths & Support Their Weaknesses (Belah's husband joins!)
Delight Your Marriage
It’s so easy to focus on the weaknesses of your spouse. In fact, it’s one of the easiest things to do when you think of them, but if you can imagine being in your spouse’s shoes, everything you say and do, picked apart and looked at under a magnifying glass… That doesn’t help them live their best life and thrive. I invite you to instead accept your spouse‘s weaknesses. They have them. You have them. And look instead at their strengths. Notice what they’re doing right and comment on it. Today. I’m joined by my husband, Dario, who is an amazing father and amazing...
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454-Hopeless & Frustrated to Restored Legacy: Craig's Transformation Story
Delight Your Marriage
We’re thrilled to share Craig’s story with you today. For years, Craig and his wife were stuck in a painful cycle—“You always ____,” “You never _____”—both keeping score, building walls of resentment, and matching hurt with hurt. Things seemed like they’d never change. Then, a friend from church mentioned the transformation he had experienced through Delight Your Marriage. Craig was skeptical at first, but as the months passed, he couldn’t deny the remarkable shift in his friend’s life. That’s when Craig decided to take the first step and schedule a Clarity Call. What...
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453-Moving On from His Mistakes: Lindsay's Transformation Story
Delight Your Marriage
We have the honor and privilege of sharing Lindsay's Transformation Story today. For years, she struggled with the pain of infidelity, unsure if she could ever trust her husband again. But when her husband decided to join the Masculinity Reclaimed program, the changes she saw in him stirred something in her heart. That’s when she reached out, booked a free Clarity Call, and joined the Delighted Wife program. Through God’s grace, their marriage has been completely transformed. Moments once marked by tension and fear have been replaced by playfulness and peace. She has rediscovered the...
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452-Forgiven & Free of Resentment & Past Affairs. Jim's Transformation Story
Delight Your Marriage
Today’s episode is an incredible story of God‘s transformative power. From a man who started out broken and lonely, with a history he wasn’t proud of, God was able to take his little seed of faith, his little seed of hope that just maybe something could change for him, too. He decided to sign up for a free Clarity Call, and then to join our program. He went through the program once on his own. Eventually, his wife saw some changes in him and decided that she wanted to do the work to heal from their past. Ultimately, they both did the program at the same time, and praise the Lord,...
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451-How to Deal with Anxiety Biblically
Delight Your Marriage
Is it true? Are you sure it’s true? How often do we ask these questions when an anxious thought comes to our mind? Too often we allow ourselves to assume a thought is true and allow the anxiety to drive us to choices we don't want to make. Anxiety is fear. Stress is masked fear. And controlling or mothering behavior... yep... it's also fear. The Bible is crystal clear: Do not fear. Be anxious for nothing. If you want to break free from this snare, it starts with 1) calming your physical body 2) investigating the mental tapes playing in your mind. What anxious thoughts have you...
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450-Where There is Breath, There is Hope: Kevin's Transformation Story
Delight Your Marriage
Have you ever felt so disconnected in your marriage that you wondered if it was worth fighting for? Kevin found himself in that very place—emotionally, spiritually, and physically distant from his wife. Harshness and criticism seemed to cloud their every interaction, leaving him discouraged and ready to give up. He felt his energy was drained and was unmotivated in many aspects of life. He took the courage to sign up and speak with Dana on a Clarity Call, he felt it gave him insights into himself and helped him discover what was at the root of their disconnection. He felt he wasn't the...
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449-Cowardly Lions Aren't Sexy (Lies Undermine Courage)
Delight Your Marriage
By the end of this episode, I hope you'll get this, men: Courage. Character. Restraint. What I really want to share is that if you want your wife to follow you and be turned on by you, cowardice isn't sexy... to say the least. It's true that the "righteous are as bold as a lion". If you want to grow in courage you must grow in your character. When you lie to yourself or to others, you are undermining your confidence and courage. You are the leader of your home. Whether you feel that way or not, what you do (or don't do) creates the culture. You are the...
info_outlineConsider this: you might be more like Paul than you realize. Yes, Paul—the apostle whose praises were so powerful they shook prison walls, and who found joy even in his suffering. What could you possibly have in common with him?
Well, Paul had a thorn in his side. A persistent struggle that he begged God to remove. I’m willing to bet there’s a thorn in your side too—something you’ve desperately asked God to take away. Whether it’s sexual sin, pride, greed, jealousy, or anger, this thorn is your personal struggle.
I am here to tell you: Embrace the thorn in your side. This might sound counterintuitive, but in your weakness, God’s strength is made perfect. The thorn is there for a reason. God has given it to you to keep you humble, to remind you that you’re not in control of everything, and to draw you closer to Him.
How do folks often respond to their (God-given) thorns?
Disassociate. Disown. Disregard.
Disassociating yourself from these struggles—especially the deep ones like hidden addictions—can be perilous.
Essentially, if you do not embrace your thorn, it is the enemy's playground to attack you in the same way again... and again... and again... to the destruction of all those you love and the reputation of the gospel that you represent to others.
We are urging you, bring these struggles into the light. Seek accountability, find support, and create a plan. On the good days it's easier to make that plan and structure to support you on the hard days that you know will come... because you've embraced the thorn that is God's gift which keeps you humble.
Important: Perfection isn’t required- 80% of a plan is enough to start making meaningful progress. The point is to start. Remember when you perceive the negative pattern in your history, it's time to take action so you can prevent things going downhill... for when you are weak, then you are strong.
This week, I encourage you to identify your thorn (start with one, we likely all have many! I certainly do), confront it, confess it to God, repent and confess it to safe people. Then, know that He forgives you and makes a way of escape for the future so you can truly truly walk in the humility that comes through the gift of this thorn... because His grace IS sufficient for you.
Love,
Belah & Team
PS - If you are interested in learning more about our program, maybe even getting that accountability in your life, we would love to talk to you. Check out delightyourmarriage.com/cc
PPS - I am excited to share with you a resource that I believe will be of value for your marital intimacy!
A group of pro-marriage / intimacy experts have gotten together and are doing a sex seminar. These are folks that believe marriage is right and good but they are not necessarily Bible-believing Christians.
Amongst really valuable and wise content, there will likely be perspectives represented that I don’t 100% agree with.
I encourage you (as always) to seek discernment from God to gain the good insights that may be in this event and leave what may not be helpful to you.
Keep eternity in mind: at the end of it all we want to hear from God “well done.” We want it to be true that we loved the spouse we were given with a servant heart and according to His Word.
I hope you gain wonderful encouragement and practical ideas to love your spouse well through intimacy!
Here are the links-
2024 Sex Seminar: https://shop.thedatingdivas.com/discount/DYM24?redirect=%2Fproducts%2Fsex-seminar-2024
Sex Seminar Bundle (all 5 years):
https://shop.thedatingdivas.com/discount/DYMBUNDLE24?redirect=%2Fproducts%2Fsex-seminar-bundle-2024
PPPS - Here is a quote from a recent graduate:
"After 8 years of marriage, we had both grown complacent in investing in each other… I have long struggled with pornography and I tend to be a bit of a workaholic while my wife has been at home with our kids for 15 years. It seems we took every one of those opportunities to create distance in our relationship… [Now], I'm taking ownership. This is my home. This is my marriage. She is my wife. Ours is a union blessed by God. In taking my roles as husband, father, help mate more seriously, my whole family has begun to benefit. The man's role is not to simply coexist, but to lead the marriage and family. I can make a difference in the family by leading to and with God.”