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472-There's Value and Hope in Your Mistakes

Delight Your Marriage

Release Date: 02/28/2025

531-Do We Call What is Holy 531-Do We Call What is Holy "Sin" (and What is Sin "Holy")

Delight Your Marriage

Do We Call What is Holy "Sin" (and What is Sin "Holy") When I was first a believer, I had a very strong view of what was right and what was wrong. I had a sense that anything I was uncomfortable with was definitely wrong. After a lot of of life…and sadly time away from Jesus…and God healing and redeeming my journey, I’ve come to realize that there are things I am uncomfortable with, but are not necessarily sin. And there are things I am comfortable with that aren't sin necessarily. -- Quote from a recent graduate: The program is great! I love the focus on self-growth, personal...

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530-Zero Intimacy for Almost a Decade, Husband & Wife Share Their Miracle show art 530-Zero Intimacy for Almost a Decade, Husband & Wife Share Their Miracle

Delight Your Marriage

Zero Intimacy for Almost a Decade, Husband & Wife Share Their Miracle Ten years of no physical intimacy. That is where husband & wife, Jim & Willa, found themselves. For 38 years of marriage, Willa described her husband as a "my way or the highway" kind of guy. And up until recently, Jim felt so frustrated and angry in his marriage that he wanted to leave. They were sleeping in separate bedrooms, had busy lives, he left before she woke up just to avoid her most days. Jim shared they literally hadn’t touched in years. -- Quote from a recent graduate: "Week by week in this...

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529-Driven? But Fulfilled? Interview with Brad Rhoads show art 529-Driven? But Fulfilled? Interview with Brad Rhoads

Delight Your Marriage

You might be one who can work all day and feel great.   And maybe you struggle to take a vacation.   Maybe if you're really honest with yourself, you think productivity is next to godliness.   If you're like Brad and I -- that's us nodding our heads. We're just wired that way. That's not the end of the story...   But Brad had a mentor that wouldn't let go of him until he could see that drivenness is ruining his life.   Not the fact that he is driven (Brad didn't give that up), but the fact that he felt he wasn't enough unless he achieved X, Y, and Z. Brad's marriage...

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528-Good Friday: The way you treat your spouse reveals what you really believe show art 528-Good Friday: The way you treat your spouse reveals what you really believe

Delight Your Marriage

Today marks the day that God stooped so low to live a perfect life and die a gruesome sinner's death -- to save you. And save me.  Why? Not because we were perfect. Not because we could earn His love. Who could earn that?   But because He decided we were worth it.    We aren't deserving of His sacrifice because we're so great -- it's because HE'S so great. He's so good, kind, and gracious that He decided we were priceless to come and rescue.  And if you are priceless -- a prized treasure Jesus came to save... Is your spouse?    If the answer is yes... Are you...

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527-If Your Wife Puts the Kids First, This Is the Leadership Problem You Need to Fix show art 527-If Your Wife Puts the Kids First, This Is the Leadership Problem You Need to Fix

Delight Your Marriage

Become the man your wife respects and desires again—before prices increase -------------------------------------------- I'm speaking to a man who wants to fix things. He is not a whiner, complainer, or blamer. He's interested in taking responsibility and making things better. But if he's really honest with himself, sometimes he feels that his wife prioritizes the kids above him.    If you're in that category, I'd like to speak to you directly. You're right, it's not ok. This isn't a good dynamic. And if she's a Jesus-follower, it's also not biblical.    Ok.   ...

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526-How to Get Her In the Mood (& Turn Her On) [Re-Release] show art 526-How to Get Her In the Mood (& Turn Her On) [Re-Release]

Delight Your Marriage

526-How to Get Her In the Mood (& Turn Her On) [Re-Release] I think all the wives will want their husbands to listen to this one.   Because I have the good fortune of working with men every (work) day and hearing their unfiltered thoughts about intimacy… I can help you understand why your wife often rejects you.   One of the major truths is that it’s SCARY to initiate sex with your wife.   So, you probably do…   But in general, it’s a half-invested way, in hopes that her rejection won’t feel so painful. Because from experience it has been rejected, even your...

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525-Simple Ways to Have Intimacy More Often show art 525-Simple Ways to Have Intimacy More Often

Delight Your Marriage

[Belah here - AI was not used to draft or write this description] As silly as it may seem, something as sacred and biblical as marital intimacy comes right down to the practical of "hey, it's just too quiet in the house for intimacy".    So, how do you solve for the biggest reasons a couple doesn't connect in this God-honoring way? Well, that's what today's conversation is all about.    In this episode, we do a lot less philosophy and theology and get into the specific tools that can help you no matter how busy your life is right now.    Even if other things...

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524-A Pastor Didn’t Expect Marriage Help to Come This Way show art 524-A Pastor Didn’t Expect Marriage Help to Come This Way

Delight Your Marriage

[Belah here - AI was not used to draft or write this description] Sometimes I have been asked if I, as a woman, should be teaching men. When it comes up, I really appreciate that question because it shows a level of maturity and commitment to scripture.  The truth is, I never intended to be coaching or training men. That, in fact, is something I was against, at first. I intended to just follow Titus 2 by inviting women to learn to love their husbands well.  As I wrote the book and started the podcast and coaching women with this end in mind, men started reaching out to me. It was...

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523-My Pain > Victim > Rebel > Repentance Journey show art 523-My Pain > Victim > Rebel > Repentance Journey

Delight Your Marriage

[Belah here - AI was not used to draft or write this description] I have grown in my journey of processing pain. But I still slip up. Today, I want to share with you a recent insight I've received on what I still need God's help to work through.  I hope we can walk together, looking at our Savior, first and foremost to discover His purposes for our suffering.  Your suffering matters.  It matters to God.  It matters in His will.  There is comfort in knowing He has a purpose for it.  I'd love to share what God is teaching me through His word and what I hope will be...

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522-A Marriage Transformation 5 Years in the Making: Dan's Story show art 522-A Marriage Transformation 5 Years in the Making: Dan's Story

Delight Your Marriage

A Marriage Transformation 5 Years in the Making: Dan’s Story There are transformations that happen fast—like a spark, a breakthrough, a moment where everything shifts.And then there are transformations that happen patiently, steadily, layer by layer… over years. Dan’s story is that second kind. Because five years ago, Dan wasn’t walking around thinking his marriage was “bad.” He actually wrote on his intake form that their marriage was probably a six or seven—a good marriage. A steady marriage. A marriage with history and shared life and inside jokes. But there was one ache...

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Do you hate making mistakes?

If you’re anything like me, you probably hold yourself to really high standards. 

If you’re a Jesus follower, you’re actually called to be perfect as He is perfect.

But because you're not Jesus, you will fail. 

So, what happens when you mess up? 

Do you feel like a failure, try to run away, numb the pain, isolate, ignore, do some negative/sinful addiction (porn/drinking/eating...) just to stop feeling the terrible failure-feelings?

The problem is, even though we know we’re saved by His sacrifice, we often still struggle with shame and guilt for our mistakes. 

But here’s the truth: understanding mistakes the right way can change how we view them, how we can grow from them and how they make us feel when they inevitably will happen.

Mistakes generally fall into three categories:

  1. Mistake: Rebellion– When mistakes become a pattern of intentional sin consistently. This requires a lot of focus and all the advice given in #2, below.  
  2. Mistake: Sin – When we go against God’s Word, we need to humbly own, repent and turn back to Him. AND from that, we get to be washed by His amazing sacrifice. 
    • There may need to be actions taken to repair the situation of others involved or you need to find healing for yourself so these sins won't happen again. 
    • But because of Jesus, the actual guilt has now been paid for by the only one who can pay for sin -- someone sinless -- Jesus.  
    • So you no longer need to take the punishment of the shame/guilty feelings anymore. 
    • Action does need to happen to rectify the situation, and let any negative feelings motivate you to put the structure, healing process, boundaries, people, community, in place to walk in freedom and righteousness. 
  3. Mistake: Wisdom – These are simply errors in judgment, strategy or approach. It's essentially making a mistake in walking out wisdom. A lot of times we know better and we can't seem to get ourselves to do the wise thing every time. 
    • It's not an outright sin, as clarified Biblically. It just was kinda dumb (yeah, I know the feeling well.) Or you realized later how you made someone else feel and realized you did the wrong thing. Or maybe you didn't so something as perfectly as you expect of yourself and you feel ashamed.
    • Even though maybe it wasn't capital S, "Sin", it can make you feel just as failure-like as if you DID something horrible. As if you ARE something horrible.
    • The sad part is, sometimes that failure-feeling can make us want to run so bad that we metaphorically run and actually do something horrible (an real Sin: porn, addiction, rage... fill-in-the-blank SIN). 

But what if we didn't HAVE TO strive to achieve in perfection? 

 
What if we didn't HAVE TO strive to meet our incredibly high (non-sin) standards OR feel like a failure?
 
And our Sin standards don't change. 

The solution? 
 
Well, my solution is this... instead of feeling like a failure, aim to be 80% on point in the Wisdom Category. 
 
That way, you’ll stay motivated and keep improving in living out wisdom without getting stuck in discouragement/feeling-like-a-failure. 
 
You'll get A LOT farther this way in every area of life than you would being "perfect" for a while then super discouraged (maybe even dropping into some Sin) and on and on the cycle goes. 

And sadly... often people just get so tired and give up and accept hopelessness. 
 
Here's the plan regarding mistakes:
 
Keep high standards on righteousness issues, try hard to meet them---lean on Jesus for His perfection and sacrifice when we Sin. Have high standards on Wisdom things, but when we make mistakes be really happy if we aren't making that mistake 80% of the time.

When you handle mistakes in the right way, they actually help you move forward instead of holding you back. I dive deeper into this in today’s episode, and I think you’ll find it really encouraging—because if you’re anything like me, you’ve made plenty of mistakes. 

And the good news? God has so much hope for you, and every single mistake has value.