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472-There's Value and Hope in Your Mistakes

Delight Your Marriage

Release Date: 02/28/2025

519-Have Compassion on Your Husband's God-Given Desire show art 519-Have Compassion on Your Husband's God-Given Desire

Delight Your Marriage

Have Compassion on Your Husband's Desire This is a tender topic. And for some of you, even reading this headline might make your chest tighten. Because desire can feel complicated. Painful. Loaded. Or honestly… just exhausting. And yet, this conversation matters—not to shame you, not to pressure you, but to invite you into compassion. Not obligation. Not fear. Not duty-driven compliance. Compassion rooted in God’s design for marriage. The Enemy Thrives on Distraction One of the enemy’s most effective strategies in marriage is not always obvious sin. It’s distraction. Distance....

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518-Husbands, Draw Her Back: Order of Operations show art 518-Husbands, Draw Her Back: Order of Operations

Delight Your Marriage

Husbands, Draw Her Back: Order of Operations Gentlemen, you have likely heard that you are meant to be the leader of your home. You've likely heard it from the pulpit, maybe from your own family. We know there's been some confusion around that in culture, asking men to take a back seat or not be as assertive and lead–even though it is their God-given design. But we fully believe that it is the biblical design for men and that it is good for men to take up their role. And you likely have a deep sense that this is how it's meant to be as well. But what happens when the people you are meant to...

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517-From “You Were Never There for Me, Dad” to “I Want to Marry a Man Like You” show art 517-From “You Were Never There for Me, Dad” to “I Want to Marry a Man Like You”

Delight Your Marriage

It is our honor and privilege to have Charles on the podcast with us today.  Many of you have maybe already spoken to Charles. He serves as one of our Clarity Advisors here at Delight Your Marriage and has done an incredible job of listening to your stories and giving you next steps, but most importantly, giving you hope. What you might not know about Charles is that he spent many years as a very successful businessman. I mean, he was (and is!) a force! And that's what people saw on the outside: 40 years in business, two homes, active in ministry, a wife of 3o years, two grown children....

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516-A Pastor with a “Prostitute” Mindset Changed His Ways: Jerry’s Story show art 516-A Pastor with a “Prostitute” Mindset Changed His Ways: Jerry’s Story

Delight Your Marriage

516-A Pastor with a “Prostitute” Mindset Changed His Ways: Jerry’s Story There’s a quiet frustration many good men carry. You’ve tried to talk. You’ve tried to suggest counseling, books, podcasts—something. You’ve even tried explaining your heart. And still… she doesn’t seem to listen. Doesn’t engage. Doesn’t change. If that’s you, let me say this gently but clearly: God may be asking you to go first. And yes—that can feel unfair. But it is also where real transformation begins. When You Find Yourself Becoming Someone You Didn't Want to Be One husband recently...

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515-New Years Resolutions with Hope show art 515-New Years Resolutions with Hope

Delight Your Marriage

515-New Years Resolutions with Hope Happy New Year! If you’re reading this a couple days into 2026—welcome. And if you’re reading this in the middle of 2037, it still applies. Because God is still on the throne. He is still a good Father. And He is still interested in crafting and molding your heart—especially in the middle of real life… including the hard parts. Put Your Growth Mindset On (Yes, Literally) If you’ve been in our Delight Your Marriage sphere for any length of time, you know I’m a little obsessed with growth. So, the New Year is one of the things I look forward to...

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514-40 Years of Broken Trust to Safety & Celebration: A Christmas Miracle (Laura's Story) show art 514-40 Years of Broken Trust to Safety & Celebration: A Christmas Miracle (Laura's Story)

Delight Your Marriage

514-40 Years of Broken Trust to Safety & Celebration: A Christmas Miracle (Laura's Story) There is a kind of marriage pain that does not look dramatic.It’s not an outward struggle.Just a quiet ache.A marriage that functions but does not feel alive. Laura lived in that space for decades. From the outside, her life looked good. Forty years of marriage. Seven children. A faithful husband. A stable home. A shared faith. Everything a good Christian marriage is supposed to be. And yet, beneath the surface, something was missing. Emotional Safety.Real connection.Being fully seen. For a long...

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513-The Christmas Reset: Peace Over Perfection (Interview With My Sons) show art 513-The Christmas Reset: Peace Over Perfection (Interview With My Sons)

Delight Your Marriage

Christmas can feel magical.It can also feel exhausting. If you’re a parent who secretly feels pressure rising as the holidays approach—the expectations, the mess, the emotions, the memories—you’re not alone. And sometimes, the clearest wisdom doesn’t come from another parenting book or productivity hack. Sometimes it comes from children. I sat down with my two sons for a conversation about Christmas. I expected sweetness and laughter (and we definitely had that). But what I didn’t expect was how profoundly wise their reflections would be—for moms and dads who want to keep Christ...

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512-What Turns Her Off — and What Godly Husbands Do Instead show art 512-What Turns Her Off — and What Godly Husbands Do Instead

Delight Your Marriage

What Turns Her Off — and What Godly Husbands Do Instead Have you ever wished you could just…get inside your wife’s heart for a moment? Not to manipulate, but to genuinely understand her. To love her in a way that makes her feel safe and wanted—not pressured or confused. My husband Darrow and I sat down to talk through something men rarely get honest insight about: Her biggest turn-offs. And not because we want to shame or scold—but because clarity brings freedom. When you finally understand what shuts her down, you also discover what opens her heart. So take a deep breath.You're not...

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511-Forty-Five Years Married and Afraid of Retirement: Patty's Story show art 511-Forty-Five Years Married and Afraid of Retirement: Patty's Story

Delight Your Marriage

Forty-Five Years Married and Afraid of Retirement: Patty's Story Patty had a life most people would admire. Forty-five years of marriage. Four children. Seven grandkids. Retirement. A kind, steady husband. From the outside, it looked like she had it all. But inside? Patty was scared. Not because she didn’t love her husband. They laughed together, they got along. But underneath the “good,” there was a quiet ache. A deep disconnection she didn’t know how to fix. And as retirement began and the rest of life slowed down, and the thought of spending more time with her husband began to feel...

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510-Is it Possible to Have Joy in Lovemaking? show art 510-Is it Possible to Have Joy in Lovemaking?

Delight Your Marriage

Is it Possible to Have Joy in Lovemaking? Physical intimacy can be one of the most painful topics in a woman’s life. Maybe you’ve felt shame for years. Maybe your husband brings it up constantly, and all you want to do is shrink away. Or maybe, deep down, you wonder if something is just wrong with you. If that’s where you are, I want you to know—I've been there. I’ve felt the fear. I’ve felt the pressure. I’ve carried the shame. And I want to walk with you through what I’ve learned on the other side: There is healing. There is hope. And yes, there is joy. The Pain Is Real—But...

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Do you hate making mistakes?

If you’re anything like me, you probably hold yourself to really high standards. 

If you’re a Jesus follower, you’re actually called to be perfect as He is perfect.

But because you're not Jesus, you will fail. 

So, what happens when you mess up? 

Do you feel like a failure, try to run away, numb the pain, isolate, ignore, do some negative/sinful addiction (porn/drinking/eating...) just to stop feeling the terrible failure-feelings?

The problem is, even though we know we’re saved by His sacrifice, we often still struggle with shame and guilt for our mistakes. 

But here’s the truth: understanding mistakes the right way can change how we view them, how we can grow from them and how they make us feel when they inevitably will happen.

Mistakes generally fall into three categories:

  1. Mistake: Rebellion– When mistakes become a pattern of intentional sin consistently. This requires a lot of focus and all the advice given in #2, below.  
  2. Mistake: Sin – When we go against God’s Word, we need to humbly own, repent and turn back to Him. AND from that, we get to be washed by His amazing sacrifice. 
    • There may need to be actions taken to repair the situation of others involved or you need to find healing for yourself so these sins won't happen again. 
    • But because of Jesus, the actual guilt has now been paid for by the only one who can pay for sin -- someone sinless -- Jesus.  
    • So you no longer need to take the punishment of the shame/guilty feelings anymore. 
    • Action does need to happen to rectify the situation, and let any negative feelings motivate you to put the structure, healing process, boundaries, people, community, in place to walk in freedom and righteousness. 
  3. Mistake: Wisdom – These are simply errors in judgment, strategy or approach. It's essentially making a mistake in walking out wisdom. A lot of times we know better and we can't seem to get ourselves to do the wise thing every time. 
    • It's not an outright sin, as clarified Biblically. It just was kinda dumb (yeah, I know the feeling well.) Or you realized later how you made someone else feel and realized you did the wrong thing. Or maybe you didn't so something as perfectly as you expect of yourself and you feel ashamed.
    • Even though maybe it wasn't capital S, "Sin", it can make you feel just as failure-like as if you DID something horrible. As if you ARE something horrible.
    • The sad part is, sometimes that failure-feeling can make us want to run so bad that we metaphorically run and actually do something horrible (an real Sin: porn, addiction, rage... fill-in-the-blank SIN). 

But what if we didn't HAVE TO strive to achieve in perfection? 

 
What if we didn't HAVE TO strive to meet our incredibly high (non-sin) standards OR feel like a failure?
 
And our Sin standards don't change. 

The solution? 
 
Well, my solution is this... instead of feeling like a failure, aim to be 80% on point in the Wisdom Category. 
 
That way, you’ll stay motivated and keep improving in living out wisdom without getting stuck in discouragement/feeling-like-a-failure. 
 
You'll get A LOT farther this way in every area of life than you would being "perfect" for a while then super discouraged (maybe even dropping into some Sin) and on and on the cycle goes. 

And sadly... often people just get so tired and give up and accept hopelessness. 
 
Here's the plan regarding mistakes:
 
Keep high standards on righteousness issues, try hard to meet them---lean on Jesus for His perfection and sacrifice when we Sin. Have high standards on Wisdom things, but when we make mistakes be really happy if we aren't making that mistake 80% of the time.

When you handle mistakes in the right way, they actually help you move forward instead of holding you back. I dive deeper into this in today’s episode, and I think you’ll find it really encouraging—because if you’re anything like me, you’ve made plenty of mistakes. 

And the good news? God has so much hope for you, and every single mistake has value.