508-How Daily Habits Transformed His 36-Year Marriage: Harvey’s Story
Release Date: 11/07/2025
519-Have Compassion on Your Husband's God-Given Desire
Delight Your Marriage
Have Compassion on Your Husband's Desire This is a tender topic. And for some of you, even reading this headline might make your chest tighten. Because desire can feel complicated. Painful. Loaded. Or honestly… just exhausting. And yet, this conversation matters—not to shame you, not to pressure you, but to invite you into compassion. Not obligation. Not fear. Not duty-driven compliance. Compassion rooted in God’s design for marriage. The Enemy Thrives on Distraction One of the enemy’s most effective strategies in marriage is not always obvious sin. It’s distraction. Distance....
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518-Husbands, Draw Her Back: Order of Operations
Delight Your Marriage
Husbands, Draw Her Back: Order of Operations Gentlemen, you have likely heard that you are meant to be the leader of your home. You've likely heard it from the pulpit, maybe from your own family. We know there's been some confusion around that in culture, asking men to take a back seat or not be as assertive and lead–even though it is their God-given design. But we fully believe that it is the biblical design for men and that it is good for men to take up their role. And you likely have a deep sense that this is how it's meant to be as well. But what happens when the people you are meant to...
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517-From “You Were Never There for Me, Dad” to “I Want to Marry a Man Like You”
Delight Your Marriage
It is our honor and privilege to have Charles on the podcast with us today. Many of you have maybe already spoken to Charles. He serves as one of our Clarity Advisors here at Delight Your Marriage and has done an incredible job of listening to your stories and giving you next steps, but most importantly, giving you hope. What you might not know about Charles is that he spent many years as a very successful businessman. I mean, he was (and is!) a force! And that's what people saw on the outside: 40 years in business, two homes, active in ministry, a wife of 3o years, two grown children....
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516-A Pastor with a “Prostitute” Mindset Changed His Ways: Jerry’s Story
Delight Your Marriage
516-A Pastor with a “Prostitute” Mindset Changed His Ways: Jerry’s Story There’s a quiet frustration many good men carry. You’ve tried to talk. You’ve tried to suggest counseling, books, podcasts—something. You’ve even tried explaining your heart. And still… she doesn’t seem to listen. Doesn’t engage. Doesn’t change. If that’s you, let me say this gently but clearly: God may be asking you to go first. And yes—that can feel unfair. But it is also where real transformation begins. When You Find Yourself Becoming Someone You Didn't Want to Be One husband recently...
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515-New Years Resolutions with Hope
Delight Your Marriage
515-New Years Resolutions with Hope Happy New Year! If you’re reading this a couple days into 2026—welcome. And if you’re reading this in the middle of 2037, it still applies. Because God is still on the throne. He is still a good Father. And He is still interested in crafting and molding your heart—especially in the middle of real life… including the hard parts. Put Your Growth Mindset On (Yes, Literally) If you’ve been in our Delight Your Marriage sphere for any length of time, you know I’m a little obsessed with growth. So, the New Year is one of the things I look forward to...
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514-40 Years of Broken Trust to Safety & Celebration: A Christmas Miracle (Laura's Story)
Delight Your Marriage
514-40 Years of Broken Trust to Safety & Celebration: A Christmas Miracle (Laura's Story) There is a kind of marriage pain that does not look dramatic.It’s not an outward struggle.Just a quiet ache.A marriage that functions but does not feel alive. Laura lived in that space for decades. From the outside, her life looked good. Forty years of marriage. Seven children. A faithful husband. A stable home. A shared faith. Everything a good Christian marriage is supposed to be. And yet, beneath the surface, something was missing. Emotional Safety.Real connection.Being fully seen. For a long...
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513-The Christmas Reset: Peace Over Perfection (Interview With My Sons)
Delight Your Marriage
Christmas can feel magical.It can also feel exhausting. If you’re a parent who secretly feels pressure rising as the holidays approach—the expectations, the mess, the emotions, the memories—you’re not alone. And sometimes, the clearest wisdom doesn’t come from another parenting book or productivity hack. Sometimes it comes from children. I sat down with my two sons for a conversation about Christmas. I expected sweetness and laughter (and we definitely had that). But what I didn’t expect was how profoundly wise their reflections would be—for moms and dads who want to keep Christ...
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512-What Turns Her Off — and What Godly Husbands Do Instead
Delight Your Marriage
What Turns Her Off — and What Godly Husbands Do Instead Have you ever wished you could just…get inside your wife’s heart for a moment? Not to manipulate, but to genuinely understand her. To love her in a way that makes her feel safe and wanted—not pressured or confused. My husband Darrow and I sat down to talk through something men rarely get honest insight about: Her biggest turn-offs. And not because we want to shame or scold—but because clarity brings freedom. When you finally understand what shuts her down, you also discover what opens her heart. So take a deep breath.You're not...
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511-Forty-Five Years Married and Afraid of Retirement: Patty's Story
Delight Your Marriage
Forty-Five Years Married and Afraid of Retirement: Patty's Story Patty had a life most people would admire. Forty-five years of marriage. Four children. Seven grandkids. Retirement. A kind, steady husband. From the outside, it looked like she had it all. But inside? Patty was scared. Not because she didn’t love her husband. They laughed together, they got along. But underneath the “good,” there was a quiet ache. A deep disconnection she didn’t know how to fix. And as retirement began and the rest of life slowed down, and the thought of spending more time with her husband began to feel...
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510-Is it Possible to Have Joy in Lovemaking?
Delight Your Marriage
Is it Possible to Have Joy in Lovemaking? Physical intimacy can be one of the most painful topics in a woman’s life. Maybe you’ve felt shame for years. Maybe your husband brings it up constantly, and all you want to do is shrink away. Or maybe, deep down, you wonder if something is just wrong with you. If that’s where you are, I want you to know—I've been there. I’ve felt the fear. I’ve felt the pressure. I’ve carried the shame. And I want to walk with you through what I’ve learned on the other side: There is healing. There is hope. And yes, there is joy. The Pain Is Real—But...
info_outlineHow Daily Habits Transformed His 36-Year Marriage: Harvey’s Story
Marriage is holy work.
Maybe you're reading this today because you're hoping your marriage will change. Maybe you're reading this because you've prayed, "Lord, please help my marriage," when really you mean "Lord, please help my spouse!"
I hope this blog and episode will make you feel both comforted and inspired — that you’ll be reminded your marriage can change, not by grand gestures or perfect communication, but by small, faithful, daily habits of love.
This is what Harvey discovered as well. That it wasn't grand gestures or big sweeping shifts that changed his marriage, but small, daily, consistent habits that brought it God's love, peace, and patience into his marriage.
Changing Your Priorities: When Hard Work is Leading to Disconnect
Harvey and his wife have been married nearly 37 years. Together, they raised four kids and built a life on their dairy farm. For decades, he worked two full-time jobs—teaching high school by day and farming by night.
He says, “Every day was between 12 to 16 hours. My wife was incredibly supportive, but I just wasn’t there emotionally.”
Maybe you can relate. Life’s responsibilities pile up, and before you know it, years have passed. You’re functioning—but not really connecting.
Despite his faith and commitment, Harvey admits that emotional and spiritual intimacy were missing. He wanted closeness, but didn’t know how to get there.
A Different Kind of Prayer—and a Different Kind of Growth
After retiring from teaching, Harvey finally had space to seek help. He’d been listening to our podcast for years and decided it was time to join Masculinity Reclaimed, our men’s program.
The first surprise? It wasn’t about changing his wife!
It was about learning to love her the way Christ loves the Church.
He started with one habit: daily time with God. Reading Scripture. Praying. Reflecting. And eventually, he began praying with his wife in the mornings—a completely new rhythm in their 36 years together.
That quiet time, over coffee and prayer, became a beautiful and cherished time for emotional connection.
The Turning Point: Accepting Your Wife as She Is
Halfway through the program, Harvey realized that for years, he had been looking at his wife through the lens of what she wasn’t.
She wasn't this, she wasn't that...
But when he stopped trying to change her and started accepting her for who she is, the woman he fell in love with, the woman she had always been, rather than who he hoped she might someday become–everything began to shift.
That acceptance made her feel safe. Seen. Loved.
And when a woman feels safe, her heart opens. His wife began to blossom before his very eyes and the connection Harvey had longed for finally began to grow.
The Habits That Build a Marriage
Here’s the truth: marriage is a system of habits.
Paul says, if you’re married, you will have trouble. (1 Corinthians 7:28)
You’ll have to think about how to please your spouse. (1 Corinthians 7:34)
Are you in the habit of thinking about your spouse?
Are you in the habit of considering them and putting them first?
Are you in the habit of encouraging, loving, praying, and serving them?
It’s not always easy work — but it is good work.
Every word, every look, every morning prayer can help build connection.
That’s why transformation doesn’t happen overnight.
It happens in the daily choices.
Final Thoughts
Friends, you don't have to wait to start changing your marriage. Harvey shared with us, “I wish I had learned these things earlier in my marriage." We want that for you as well!
You don't have to wait to retire or for your kids to be out of the house. You don't have to wait to be a certain age or have been married a certain number of years. You can start investing in your marriage now, today, to say that the next 20, 30, 40, 50, 60 years of marriage were incredible.
That is what we want for you. And we know, that no matter where your marriage is at right now, it can change. Just ask Harvey.
We are rooting for you and we know that we serve a God who makes all things new– and that includes marriages.
God bless you!
With love,
The Delight Your Marriage Team
PS - If you're ready to take the next step and get into a community that knows what it's like and are doing the hard work themselves– we'd love to chat with you. Click here to schedule a free Clarity Call with one of our Clarity Call Advisors and take the next step in healing your marriage.
PPS - Are you a fan of this work and wish more people knew about it? We are launching an In-Person Training program this January and we would love to come to your church, workplace, community group, or wherever you gather! For more information, visit our In-Person Training page.
PPPS - Here is what another recent grad had to say about our program:
"I've become more contented and patient and focused on [my wife's] needs and a better listener I think. She says our home has less tension since I've been doing the program. I take that as a win!"