515-New Years Resolutions with Hope

515-New Years Resolutions with Hope

Happy New Year!

If you’re reading this a couple days into 2026—welcome. And if you’re reading this in the middle of 2037, it still applies.

Because God is still on the throne.

He is still a good Father.

And He is still interested in crafting and molding your heart—especially in the middle of real life… including the hard parts.

Put Your Growth Mindset On (Yes, Literally)

If you’ve been in our Delight Your Marriage sphere for any length of time, you know I’m a little obsessed with growth. So, the New Year is one of the things I look forward to the most.

I want to share something that we do in coaching calls. It can honestly look silly… but it works.

We put our hands over our heads like a hat and we say:

“Put your growth mindset on.”

Why? 

Because the posture matters.

A growth mindset says:

• “God can change me.”

• “I’m not finished yet.”

• “This isn’t the end of my story.”

• “My marriage isn’t stuck forever.”

A fixed mindset says:

• “This is just how I am.”

• “Take it or leave it.”

• “This is all there is.”

For us as believers, a growth mindset is a reflection of our faith. 

Our hope is rooted in a God who raises the dead (Romans 8:11), who changes hearts of stone into hearts of flesh (Ezekiel 36:26), and who redeems the years the locusts have stolen (Joel 2:25). 

Having a growth mindset is a reflection of the hope we have in Jesus.

A New Year Reflection That Actually Changes You

Here’s what I like to do around the New Year (and yes, if you haven’t done it yet, you still have time).

I go month by month through the previous year and write down what I remember—hard things, good things, major moments, heartache, breakthroughs.

Then, I pray:

“God, what do You want me to learn from this year?”

Because honestly… if He doesn’t bring it to mind, maybe it isn’t the thing He wants me to carry forward.

Then after I list the moments, I write two categories:

• Wins

• Learnings

Not because I’m trying to build a scrapbook of accomplishments or places I fell short, but because I’m trying to build wisdom.

When You’ve Been Crushed… God Is Doing Something

There’s a passage in 2 Corinthians 1 where Paul describes being:

• utterly weighed down

• crushed

• despairing of life itself

And then he says this:

7 And our hope for you [our confident expectation of good for you] is firmly grounded [assured and unshaken], since we know that just as you share as partners in our sufferings, so also you share as partners in our comfort.

8 For we do not want you to be uninformed, brothers and sisters, about our trouble in [the west coast province of] Asia, how we were utterly burdened beyond our strength, so that we despaired even of life [itself].

9 Indeed, we felt within ourselves that we had received the sentence of death and were convinced that we would die, but this happened so that we would not trust in ourselves, but in God who raises the dead.

10 He has rescued us from so great a danger of death, and will rescue us; on Him we have set our hope [and confident expectation] that He will continue to rescue us.

-2 Corinthians 1:7–10 (AMP)

That suffering was to keep them from trusting in themselves… and to depend on God who raises the dead.

Friend… what if that pain you walked through wasn’t proof God forgot you?

What if it was proof He was calling you deeper?

Not into self-reliance.

Not into “I’ll just manage.”

But into dependence.

And yes, dependence feels vulnerable.

But it’s also where hope is born.

And we have a God that we CAN depend on.

So wherever you relied on yourself this past year… know you can rely on God.

The Subtle Trap: Distracting Yourself Instead of Depending on God

Sometimes sneaks in during suffering:

Distraction.

When we hurt, we’re tempted to numb.

A screen.
A scroll.
A snack.
A show.
A YouTube rabbit hole.
A constant something to get us away from feelings that are uncomfortable.

And the question becomes:

What am I trusting to comfort me?

Is it God?

Or is it a coping mechanism—even a “normal” one—that quietly replaces Him?

If we want to be dependent on God, it must be for our comfort too.

You Can Do “Christian Things” and Still Miss Love

In thinking of resolutions for the new year, we need to also think about the heart behind it. 

I want you to take into consideration 1 Corinthians 13.

It is not just a wedding reading.

It’s a mirror.

You can do all sorts of impressive things:

• serve

• teach

• sacrifice

• prophesy

• lead

• build

• give generously

…and Scripture says:

if it isn’t done in love, it amounts to nothing.

So here’s a New Year question that matters more than “Did I hit my goals?”

Did I love?

Conviction Is Kindness (And Shame Is Not From God)

In thinking about growth for the new year, consider Hebrews 12.

It says ‘God disciplines those He loves.’

So, conviction is not God crushing you.

Conviction is God reminding you of truth.

The world doesn’t know what to do with guilt and shame—so they do mental gymnastics, or distract, or blame, or numb.

But we know what to do.

We run to Jesus.

Because the gospel is not “try harder.”

The gospel is:

Jesus lived the life we couldn’t live, died the death we deserved, and made a way for us to walk in freedom.

So whatever is being brought up as you look through your past year that you feel convicted of… good.

That means you’re alive. 

Now bring it to Him.

Don’t Forget to Thank God for the Ways He Changed You

In all of this, in looking back at your past year and all the things you “checked off”, don’t forget to also say thank you.

One of the most humbling moments in Scripture is when Jesus heals ten lepers… and only one comes back to thank Him.

How many times have we prayed:

“God, change me.”

…and then He does…

…and we move on like it was our willpower?

When God grows you—thank Him.

Because He is good.

Because He is faithful.

Because your testimony becomes someone else’s hope.

Your Identity Isn’t What People Say—It’s What God Says

Another thing to take into this year is that people may misunderstand you.

They may assume motives, they may hold your past over your head, even after you’ve repented.

And you know what?

Jesus was falsely accused too.

So yes, sometimes we process feedback and ask God:

“Is there something I need to learn here?”

But other times?

You release it.

Because your identity is:

Beloved daughter. 

Beloved son.

He created you.

He delights over you.

And He is not done with you.

Do not let the misunderstandings of this past year stop you from stepping into who God wants you to be in this new year.

Jesus Has a Yoke for You—and It’s Lighter Than What You’re Carrying

Jesus says:

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” 
-Matthew 11:28-30

So ask yourself:

What have I been carrying that Jesus didn’t ask me to carry?

What do I need to leave behind in this past year?

Social expectations?

Other people’s opinions?

Constant stimulation?

Endless noise?

And then ask:

What does it look like for me to come to Jesus?

For me, it can look like:

• journaling on the couch with coffee and water

• worship on a walk

• playing the piano and singing to Him

• getting on my knees on the carpet and saying, “Lord, I need You.”

What about you?

Because loving God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength is not just good in theory.

It is meant to be a lived practice.

Who Are You Assigned to Love This Year?

Finally, this is about WHO your assignment is this year.

In most seasons, your assignments go like this:

1. your spouse

2. your children (if you have them)

3. the people God places in front of you

And yes—when someone is suffering, priorities shift. We don’t walk by wounded people like the Pharisee.

But we also don’t try to become the Holy Spirit for everyone.

So here’s a New Year question:

Who is God calling me to love well—consistently—this year?

Final Thoughts

Maybe as you read this you’re realizing:

• “I’m not patient or kind… not at home.”

• “I don’t know how to love my spouse well.”

• “My spouse was so mean last year.”

• “I was misunderstood by my friends and family.”

• “I’m exhausted and numb and discouraged.”

We are here for you.

And here’s what I know after years of seeing real transformation:

When God changes a man or a woman from the inside out… the marriage changes too.

Not by manipulation or control.

But by genuine love.

We believe that this new year can be a year of incredible personal growth as well as beautiful transformation in your marriage.

Don’t let another year go by.

We are here for you and we are rooting for you.

Welcome to 2026!

 

With love,

 

The Delight Your Marriage Team

 

PS - If you want help taking real action—especially in your marriage—your next step is to Schedule a free Clarity Call. It’s a conversation to help you get clarity on where you are, what’s happening, and what support would actually help. You can find it at: delightyourmarriage.com/cc

PPS - Here is a quote from a recent Coaching graduate:

“My biggest struggle was frustration that while my wife and I were both committed to the LORD and faithful in personal prayer and devotions, as well as church attendance and fellowship with other mature Christians, we did not feel like our relationship was thriving… I felt alone and abandoned, didn’t realize I craved respect, and rarely ever felt it. Intimacy was fairly regular, but very regimented…[Now,] I have the tools…I already see a lot of personal change in so many specific ways in which I interact with my wife, how I focus on her…we’ve just enjoyed being together more, with mini dates to delight her, and so many little practices I’m implementing to revive her spirit”