Deliver The Profile: Kino Korner: The Collector
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Ronnie and Jazz discuss the Josh Stewart (Criminal Minds' own Foghorn Leghorn) starring serial killer thriller The Collector.
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Deliver The Profile Episode 334: Dick-First Storytelling: A S.W.A.T. Special
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It has been almost 100 episodes since we checked in on S.W.A.T., Shemar Moore's post-Criminal Minds show, and we thought it'd be a good time to do so in the afterglow of Criminal Minds Season 18. Vacation for Deliver The Profile involves watching Shawn Ryan's dumbest show bedevil us with incomprehensibly awesome and stupid storytelling. Land mines, someone named Torque Vaughn, a stalking subplot: "Ride or Die" and "Return to Base", the final episodes of the series, have all that and more.
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Deliver The Profile Episode 333: The Shesciple
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It's over! It's finally over...until the next season, that is. "The Disciple" finishes up the Voit's Disciple arc of the show, and boy is it underwhelming. We never expected to be whelmed but Jesus. The boys vent their spleens over the stupid shit in Season 18 and the series generally. It's almost two hours, folks! Strap in and feel the Gs.
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Deliver The Profile Episode 332: CollateR-Word
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The penultimate episode of the season is upon us with the confusingly titled "CollateRal". No, we never learn with the R is upper case. This furthers the gang's investigation into The Disciple, who wants Voit back as a killer and will do anything necessary to accomplish that, including Halloween IIing a hospital. Also: Coffin Kyle returns! It's the year of Aaron Stanford, folks.
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Deliver The Profile Episode 331: Girlfriend in a Coma
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Things like "plot progression" grind to a halt in favor of a coma fantasy about Tara Lewis' committment issues. Gag me with a fucking spoon. "Tara" is not the worst episode of the series or even the season, but the paucity of inspiration is palpable.
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Deliver The Profile Episode 330: Spiders Spiders Everywhere
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Do not watch this episode if you hate spiders like a little girl hates spiders. Do listen as Ronnie and Jazz try to make sense of the latest episode of Criminal Minds: Evolution, which does end with Evan Delray and a slightly more important character SHOT IN THE PARKING GARAGE LIKE DOGS. "...All The Devils Are Here"? You said it, Criminal Minds.
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Deliver The Profile Episode 329: Coffin Kyle
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This week on The Minds, somebody is burying people in coffins and allowing them a phone call before they reach their demise. There's also some relationship drama betwixt Tara, Rebecca and Rebecca's ex who is the new DOJ liasion to Voit. Man, who fucking cares. Ronnie and Jazz try to.
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Deliver The Profile Episode 328: Are You There God? It's Me, Dr. Ochoa
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JJ and Voit's doctor talk at length about life, the universe and everything. All doctors are every kind of doctor, apparently. The BAU also encounter The Brutal Man (hence the episode title "The Brutal Man"), some jamoke wearing a Japanese Noh Theatre mask who murders families because he hates stickers. It's stupid. We're stupid for talking about it. Everything is stupid.
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Deliver The Profile Episode 327: Dark JJ
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In a break from Criminal Minds: Evolution protocol, "I'm Fine, It's Fine. Everything is Fine" almost tells a complete story like the good old days when the show was a bad procedural instead of a bad serialized show. Someone posing as an EMT is abducting women and taking their skin, and readers of Ronnie's Night Man Nights column may recognize the unsub. Also more Voit shit, because there's more Voit shit every fucking episode. JJ is still grieving her dead husband and it takes her some dark places. Not actually dark, but it's funny to see AJ Cook try to act tough.
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Deliver The Profile Episode 326: Bring Stingsteen (AKA, "Days Of Our Minds")
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Hit the road, Will, and don't you come back, no more, no more, no more, no more. "Time To Say Goodbye" covers Will's funeral and everyone is very sad. Which is weird because this episode marks a blink and miss it return from none other than THW GUBE himself, Spencer Reid. Witness his 90 seconds of screentime and marvel at his delivery of one line. Was he paid by the word? Probably! Also: more Voit bullshit. This time he's confronted by one of his still living victims. Remember Ramona? You do not.
info_outlineNEW SEASON! NEW SEASON! NEW SEASON ALERT! That means the Boys are knee deep in Evolution; "Swimmer's Calculus" is about a drowning unsub. Voit is also recovering from his stabbing at the end of last season. Tyler Green doesn't get to have a gun. All that and a trigger warning makes for a definite hour of television.