295 Taking Control Of Your Emotions: Lessons from Ex-Footballer and Anxiety Coach Matt Young
Release Date: 10/17/2025
302 Why You React the Way You Do Under Pressure
Demystifying Mental Toughness
In Episode 302 (Part 1) David Charlton is joined once again by Doug Strycharczyk, CEO of AQR International, to explore how mental toughness shapes our decision-making under pressure. Drawing on over 30 years of research and applied practice, Doug breaks down the 4C’s model of mental toughness and focuses specifically on Control and Commitment, two components that heavily influence how athletes, students, and performers respond when it really matters. A central theme of this conversation is that mental toughness is not judgemental. High or low scores on any dimension are not “good” or...
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301 Words of Wisdom – Collective Insights on Mental Toughness
Demystifying Mental Toughness
Happy New Year! This special compilation episode of Demystifying Mental Toughness brings together powerful reflections from multiple experts across sport, performance, and personal development. Rather than offering quick fixes, this episode invites listeners to slow down, reflect, and reconnect with what truly underpins sustainable performance: self-awareness, authenticity, focus, and self-trust. A recurring theme throughout the episode is the importance of the internal narrative. The conversations we have with ourselves shape confidence, behaviour, and decision-making under pressure....
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300 Owning Your Journey: Personal Responsibility, Success Redefined & Thriving on Loan
Demystifying Mental Toughness
In this milestone episode #300 of the Demystifying Mental Toughness Podcast, David Charlton is joined by former Newcastle United defender and current Assistant Loans Manager Peter Ramage. In the second part of our conversation Peter shares powerful insights into what truly drives progression and resilience in young footballers. Peter discusses the importance of personal responsibility in career development highlighting how top performers take ownership of their learning, habits, and mindset. Through examples such as golfer Matthew Fitzpatrick and Harry Kane, he explains why success is...
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299 Emotional Flexibility & Versatility: Inside the Minds of Professional Footballers on Loan
Demystifying Mental Toughness
In this episode of the Demystifying Mental Toughness Podcast, host David Charlton is joined by former professional footballer and coach, and current Assistant Loans Manager at Newcastle United, Peter Ramage, who pulls back the curtain on what it’s really like for young players when they go out on loan. We talk about the often-unseen side of the loan pathway: adapting to new environments, dealing with being away from family, handling uncertainty and change, and the social-media comparison trap that many players fall into. Peter provides real world insight from his time at clubs like...
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298 Run Your Race: The Power of Consistency, Faith, and Mental Strength
Demystifying Mental Toughness
In the second part of our conversation David Charlton speaks with endurance athlete, coach, and world record holder Pierce Showe, who completed 153 consecutive half marathons to raise awareness about health and nutrition. Together, they explore what it really means to run your race in sport, business, and life. Pierce shares his philosophy of focusing on your own journey, avoiding the comparison trap, and finding strength through faith and purpose. He also talks about how goal setting and discipline form the foundation for consistent growth and long-term success, lessons that resonate...
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297 How Endurance Challenges Build Mental Toughness – Lessons from Pierce Showe
Demystifying Mental Toughness
In this powerful episode of the Demystifying Mental Toughness Podcast, David sits down with endurance athlete, coach, and world record holder, Pierce Showe. From a lacrosse player to completing gruelling 200-mile ultra marathons, Pierce shares his journey of developing resilience, faith, and belief through extreme endurance. Pierce opens up about how early life challenges shaped his hunger for growth, the defining moment that unlocked his belief system, and why mental toughness isn’t something you’re born with and it’s built through hardship, practice, and reflection. He and...
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296 How to Take Control of Your Emotions: Building Your Personal Playbook for Confidence and Calm
Demystifying Mental Toughness
In the second part of our conversation, David Charlton talks with anxiety and fear coach Matt Young about why emotional control and emotional mastery is the key to lasting confidence and calmness under pressure. Matt challenges the common idea that we can only manage our emotions. Instead, he explains how emotions like anxiety, fear, or procrastination are learned traits that serve a purpose. By understanding why they appear, athletes and coaches can start to take ownership and use their emotions intentionally rather than reactively. Drawing parallels between sport and everyday...
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295 Taking Control Of Your Emotions: Lessons from Ex-Footballer and Anxiety Coach Matt Young
Demystifying Mental Toughness
In this episode of Demystifying Mental Toughness, David Charlton speaks with Matt Young, an anxiety and fear coach and former professional footballer, about how emotional control can help athletes and coaches achieve lasting freedom and confidence, on and off the pitch. Matt shares how his playing career at Southampton and other clubs exposed deep insecurities and a constant need to control outcomes including; selection, performance, and judgment from others. That same drive for control, he explains, often leads athletes into anxiety, superstition, and burnout. True freedom, he argues, comes...
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294 The 3-Second Reset: How Stuart Barnes Helps Cricketers Perform Under Pressure
Demystifying Mental Toughness
High performance in cricket and sport in general is about far more than technical ability. In this episode of The Demystifying Mental Toughness Podcast, I’m joined by Stuart Barnes, Bowling Coach at Warwickshire County Cricket Club, for the second part of our conversation. Together we explore the unique pressures cricketers face and how coaches and psychologists can work hand in hand to support player growth, confidence, and resilience. The Player at the Centre Stuart highlights the importance of a joined-up approach between coaches, psychologists, and teammates, with the athlete...
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293 How Cricket Coaches Build Mental Toughness: High Challenge, High Support with Stuart Barnes
Demystifying Mental Toughness
In this episode of the Demystifying Mental Toughness Podcast, I’m joined by Stuart Barnes, Bowling Coach at Warwickshire County Cricket Club. With over 27 years of coaching experience, Stuart shares fascinating insights into the demands of elite cricket, the brutal nature of today’s schedules, and the importance of balancing challenge with support. We dive into how coaches can help players thrive under pressure, the role of self-awareness and process, and why some athletes fear success. Stuart also discusses the fine line between surviving and thriving in professional sport—and what...
info_outlineIn this episode of Demystifying Mental Toughness, David Charlton speaks with Matt Young, an anxiety and fear coach and former professional footballer, about how emotional control can help athletes and coaches achieve lasting freedom and confidence, on and off the pitch.
Matt shares how his playing career at Southampton and other clubs exposed deep insecurities and a constant need to control outcomes including; selection, performance, and judgment from others. That same drive for control, he explains, often leads athletes into anxiety, superstition, and burnout. True freedom, he argues, comes from looking at emotional control differently, not trying to control everything around you.
The conversation explores how many athletes mask vulnerability, hide behind their sporting identity, and only seek help when things “break down.” Matt advocates for a proactive approach, helping clubs and athletes emotionally prepare in the same way they prepare physically and tactically.
He also shares what sets top performers apart; urgency, emotional awareness, and consistency in pursuing growth rather than waiting for crises to act.
If you’re an athlete, coach, or parent, this episode offers powerful insights on emotional mastery, identity, and resilience, key ingredients for sustained performance and wellbeing.
>> Key Takeaways
1. Emotional Control Beats External Control - True confidence doesn’t come from trying to control every situation, opponent, or outcome. It comes from mastering your internal state, your emotions, thoughts, and reactions so that you can stay composed and perform freely, no matter what’s happening around you.
2. Masks and Identities Can Limit Growth - Many athletes hide behind their sporting identity or project confidence to cover insecurities. Over time, this emotional masking can lead to anxiety, burnout, and confusion about who they are beyond sport. Building emotional awareness helps athletes reconnect with who they are, not just what they do.
3. Be Proactive, Not Reactive with Mental Skills - Too many athletes wait until they’re struggling before seeking help. Matt encourages a proactive approach developing emotional resilience and mental fitness before challenges hit. Just like a physical MOT, regular emotional check-ins can prevent breakdowns and keep performance consistent.
This episode is packed with insights for athletes, coaches, and parents of young athletes about the importance of emotional control and emotional mastery for better more consistent performances and enhanced well-being.
For more on this topic, check out these resources:
Blog - Confidence Under Pressure: The 3-Second Reset Technique
Blog: - Control Your Thoughts on the Golf Course
Ep167 Karl Morris – How To Manage Your Emotions To Improve Your Golf #BITESIZE
Ep280 Colm O’Donoghue - How To Help A Golfer Who Struggles Playing Strokeplay
Conversations With Kids - How to Help Kids Stay Calm Under Pressure
Conversations With Kids - Helping Young Athletes Thrive Under Pressure
Connect with Matt Young
· Website
Connect with David Charlton
· Join David @ The Sports Psychology Hub