Size Matters: Canada’s Biggest & Smallest Stuff

In this episode, Dropbear and Panda go coast to coast exploring Canada’s most oversized and absurdly tiny attractions — from giant lobsters and paperclips to six-seat chapels and taxidermied gopher dioramas.

With Cold Garden’s Mango Ranch Water in hand, they debate whether Alberta’s “big stuff” obsession is overcompensation, whether Drumheller’s T. rex is technically “real,” and how aliens are apparently welcome to land in St. Paul, Alberta.

Expect laughter, tangents, a diagnosis of Alice in Wonderland Syndrome, and a heartfelt celebration of how Canadians turn civic pride into creative weirdness.

🍺 Sponsor Shoutout

Cold Garden Beverage Company – featuring the Mango Ranch Water Drink of Wonder.

(“Usually it’s destiny, but we’ve had enough destiny for one lifetime.”)

🗺️ Key Topics & Highlights

🦖 Canada’s Big Honkin’ Things

• Kipling, Saskatchewan – World’s Largest Red Paperclip

  • Inspired by Kyle MacDonald’s “paperclip to house” story.

  • 15 feet, 2 inches tall, 3,000+ lbs. Proof that small ideas can grow huge.

  • “Twinches matter.”

• Drumheller, Alberta – World’s Largest Dinosaur

  • “Tyra” the T. rex is 26.2 metres tall and for sale (!).

  • You can climb inside and look out from her mouth.

  • Alberta holds the national record for roadside giants — over 100.

  • Panda: “We’ve got the biggest small-dick energy in Canada.”

• Glendon, Vegreville & Mundare – Ukrainian Pride Trio

  • World’s largest Perogy (with giant fork), Pysanka (Ukrainian Easter egg), and Kielbasa.

  • Alberta’s Ukrainian communities showing how heritage meets kitsch.

• Shediac, New Brunswick – World’s Largest Lobster

  • 35-foot-long, 90-tonne concrete beast.

  • 500,000 annual visitors; cost $170,000 to build.

  • Panda: “I’d eat that… if it weren’t made of cement.”

• Nackawic, New Brunswick – World’s Largest Axe

  • Built in 1991 when the town was named Canada’s Forestry Capital.

  • 15 metres tall, stainless steel, with a time capsule in the axe head.

• St. Paul, Alberta – World’s First UFO Landing Pad

  • Built for Canada’s 1967 Centennial; welcomes “visitors from Earth or otherwise.”

  • Panda: “Aliens, now you know where to land — they’ve even got a Smitty’s.”

  • Includes UFO Pizza (4 stars, probably from aliens).

• Wawa, Ontario – The Wawa Goose

  • 28-foot steel Canada goose built to lure travellers back off the Trans-Canada.

  • Beloved roadside icon for generations.

  • Its cousin: Mac the Moose (Moose Jaw, SK) – reclaimed tallest-moose title from Norway after getting bigger antlers.

• Duncan, BC – World’s Largest Hockey Stick

  • Built for Expo ’86, later destroyed by woodpeckers and weather.

  • Sparked Dropbear’s revelation: he has megalophobia (fear of oversized things).

  • “Turns out, I’ve got Alice in Wonderland Syndrome.”

• Wabamun, Alberta – Giant Dragonfly

  • Made from recycled airplane parts. Symbol of rebirth and a post-coal future.

🐿️ Small but Mighty – The Mini Marvels

• Torrington Gopher Hole Museum (AB)

  • 77 stuffed gophers in 44 dioramas (school, church, hockey, etc.).

  • 10,000 annual visitors, run by volunteers.

  • “Like Night at the Museum meets Watership Down.”

• Living Water Wayside Chapel (Niagara-on-the-Lake, ON)

  • 72 sq. ft., seats six, open 24/7.

  • “The tiniest place to repent for your road trip snacks.”

• The Little Prince Cinema (Stratford, ON)

  • 13 seats, Guinness-certified smallest cinema in the world.

  • Hosts micro-weddings and screenings from 1914–today.

• Cardigan, PEI – World’s Smallest Library

  • 3.5 x 3.5 metres, holds 1,800 books.

  • Run by John A. MacDonald and his daughter — lifetime membership: $5.

• Tiny Jails (Rodney, Tweed, Coboconk, ON)

  • Built during Prohibition; basically Canadian drunk tanks.

  • “Most Canadian correctional system ever — you just leave when you’re sober.”

• Vulcan, Alberta – Smallest Starships

  • Starship-shaped streetlights.

  • Panda: “Not named after Star Trek, but definitely embraced it.”

🧠 Why Canadians Build Big and Tiny Stuff

• Community pride: “We exist — look, we built a 30-foot sausage.”

• Tourism marketing: Gives small towns something to brag about.

• Economic pivot: Post-industry towns turning to creativity and tourism.

• Heritage: Many reflect local culture or history.

• Humour: A sense of collective weirdness that Canadians embrace.

💬 Funny Moments & Quotes

• “Twinches matter.”

• “We have the biggest small-dick energy in Canada.”

• “Do aliens care where they land?”

• “You can climb into her mouth, but probably not her butthole.”

• “Turns out I have Alice in Wonderland Syndrome.”

• “We’ll get the government to pay for our cross-country therapy trip.”

• “The most Canadian jail ever — people just left when they sobered up.”

❤️ Closing Thoughts

• Canada’s roadside extremes show that imagination, humour, and civic pride come in every size.

• Whether it’s a 90-tonne lobster or a six-person chapel, each attraction tells a story about creativity and community.

• Final cheers to Cold Garden and to all Canadians turning the ordinary into the extraordinary.