E346: Applied Evolutionary Psychology, Young woman dating wealthy man, Dietary disagreement in raising child, Women may feel secure when mate is right more often
Release Date: 11/29/2024
Beat Your Genes Podcast
Evolutionary psychologist, Doug Lisle, PhD discusses listener questions with co-host, Nathan Gershfeld. 0:00 Teaser Clips & Intro 02:56 Q1: Do we call people lazy to excuse ourselves or to change them? 12:42 Q2:If goals bring esteem, why so much burnout? 28:20 Who gets burned out most often? 44:44 Evolution of Self esteem 1:10:20 Final thoughts Q1: Is the attribution of 'laziness' to others a form of self-deception by people high in conscientiousness to justify lowering our empathy to others? After all no one chooses their personality, some people are naturally less...
info_outlineBeat Your Genes Podcast
Evolutionary psychologist, Doug Lisle, PhD discusses listener questions with co-host, Nathan Gershfeld. 0:00 Teaser Clips & Intro 01:50 Q1: What factors can predict divorce? 18:20 The Love Instinct 50:14 Q2: If marriage reduces effort to earn esteem, how can a woman feel secure having kids—and is it her job to vet the man well enough not to leave? 56:44 Final thoughts Q1: Can you speculate/attempt to predict who is most likely to get married and then divorced? My wife and I have been happily married for almost 45 years but all around us we hear of couples...
info_outlineBeat Your Genes Podcast
Evolutionary psychologist, Doug Lisle, PhD discusses listener questions with co-host, Nathan Gershfeld. 0:00 Teaser Clips & Intro 02:00 Q1: Too neurotic to ever feel truly calm? 18:26 Recommending an expert in anxiety & OCD 31:55 Q2: If I think I'm a 7 but men treat me like a 3, who’s right—me or evolution? 54:30 Final thoughts Q1: Dear Dr. Lisle, I'm a big fan of yours and have come to understand that a person's personality is defined by their genes. However, I feel like I cannot change my circumstances enough to be happy. I'm highly conscientious and highly...
info_outlineBeat Your Genes Podcast
Evolutionary psychologist, Doug Lisle, PhD discusses listener questions with co-host, Nathan Gershfeld. 0:00 Teaser Clips & Intro 02:48 Q1: Regarding Episode 27 “How to make great friends”, Could DDL address more specifically how to make great friends? Similarly he has said we should earn esteem in the right way from the people who matter. How do we know what the right way is, and how do we identify the people who matter? 14:57 Conflicts of interest between friends 23:20. Never make a big decision, when a small decision will do 33:30 How do you earn esteem in the right way ...
info_outlineBeat Your Genes Podcast
Evolutionary psychologist, Doug Lisle, PhD discusses listener questions with co-host, Nathan Gershfeld. 0:00 Teaser Clips & Intro 04:25. Q1: Divorced dad entangled with ex 12:28 Genetic commitment calculations 27:14 Q2: Stuck with a closed-off boyfriend 33:53 Hugging an un-huggable friend 42:09 Final thoughts Q1: Any advice for a divorced dad who is still entangled with his ex wife? We have been divorced over five years now, but are still friends and live near one another. I initiated the divorce for a few reasons, mainly her emotional instability and our lack of intimacy....
info_outlineBeat Your Genes Podcast
Evolutionary psychologist, Doug Lisle, PhD discusses listener questions with co-host, Nathan Gershfeld. 0:00 Teaser Clips & Intro 02:41 Q1: How common are affairs? Is this typical human behavior? 34:12 Q2: Am I broken or just in the wrong pair bond? 57:40 Tenacious Delusions in Psychology 1:15:35 Final thoughts Q1: Can Dr. Lisle talk about the frequency of affairs, particularly in modern western civilization? I was a little surprised to read about the prevalence of affairs, particularly in men in “happy marriages,” described in The Mating Mind. I have been happily...
info_outlineBeat Your Genes Podcast
Evolutionary psychologist, Doug Lisle, PhD discusses listener questions with co-host, Nathan Gershfeld. 0:00 Teaser Clips & Intro 04:31 Q1: My daughter doesn’t care about her appearance – could it be more than just preference? 14:32 Q2: Our 42 year old dependent daughter said she’ll kill herself after we die 32:35 Communication & Negotiation 39:06 Q3: My pot-smoking husband’s libido has decreased – but is it me? 53:15 Final thoughts Q1: Is neglecting personal hygiene and physical appearance really a sign of depression, or is it just personality? My 37...
info_outlineBeat Your Genes Podcast
Evolutionary psychologist, Doug Lisle, PhD discusses listener questions with co-host, Nathan Gershfeld. 0:00 Teaser Clips & Intro 01:35 Q1: I’m pretty but my ugly competitors are getting plastic surgery! 19:05 Q2: My big, expensive wedding is coming up… but I don’t want to get married anymore 27:59 Q3: Can I increase my estrogen to get more beautiful? 44:28 Final thoughts Q1: You say that a woman’s physical appearance is the most important aspect of her attractiveness when attracting a mate, but we now live in a time when natural beauty has no value...
info_outlineBeat Your Genes Podcast
Evolutionary psychologist, Doug Lisle, PhD discusses listener questions with co-host, Nathan Gershfeld. 0:00 Teaser Clips & Intro 01:39 Q1: I’ve alerted my wife that she has distortions, but she still has them! 18:53 Irrational emotions vs distortions 29:48 Q2: Why would someone complain about their job but do nothing differently? 47:51 Q3: How can I get over the loss of my husband? 57:33 Final thoughts Q1: Dear Dr Lisle, pop psychology advises men to validate their wives emotions but how do I validate something that is objectively invalid. I have taken your advice and...
info_outlineBeat Your Genes Podcast
Evolutionary psychologist, Doug Lisle, PhD discusses listener questions with co-host, Nathan Gershfeld. 0:00 Teaser Clips 0:32 Q1 Nephew is suicidal, but he called to tell me 09:19 The psychology of suicide 30:08 Follow up question from E355 37:20 Q2 My husband is addicted to marijuana – can he change? 53:07 Q3: I’m one month sober – can it last? 1:14:19 Conclusion Q1: What do you do when a family member calls you and tells you that they are suicidal? Last night I received a phone call from my 35 year old nephew telling me he was suicidal. Growing up he was my...
info_outlineEvolutionary psychologist, Doug Lisle, PhD discusses listener questions with host, Nathan Gershfeld. In today's show, Dr. Lisle discusses the concept of Beating Your Genes and applying evolutionary psychology as a therapist, and then he answers listener questions on dating, dietary disagreement, and mutual decision making in relationships.
0:00 Teasers and Intro
1:56 Applying evolutionary psychology in a therapy practice
25:05 Beating your Genes
28:05 Young woman dating a wealthy man but feeling guilty from all of the gifts
50:34 Husband and Vegan Wife have a great relationship but there is strain around what food to feed their baby
59:10 Women may feel more secure with their mate when he’s right 70% of the time
1. Three months ago, I started dating a very rich man. I am not at all a gold digger and I was not looking for a man at all when I met him. He treats me well and spoils me. However, I feel guilty accepting his gifts and money and not giving him anything in return. I’m 25 years old and a student. For my birthday he bought me thousands of dollars worth of jewelry while I bought him a tie. I felt so bad for not being able to buy him something more expensive. I feel like our relationship is unbalanced and feel guilty every time he spends money on me. I know lots of girls who would love to be in my situation and they definitely wouldn’t feel guilty. What’s wrong with me? How can I stop feeling guilty and just enjoy my time with him?
2. My husband and I are in a magic 10% relationship and we have a one year old baby. I am plant based vegan and he is not. I never thought this would be a problem before we had kids but now it’s putting a huge strain on our relationship. I’m the one who does the most child rearing and so our baby started eating 100% whole foods plant based like me. My husband however thinks that veganism is not healthy for babies so he insists on giving her eggs, meat etc for her brain development. Maybe I have OCD when it comes to healthy eating but I am in such emotional pain when I see him feeding the baby meat. We fight all the time over this and if we continue like this we will end up divorced, which I don’t want to happen because I know I was so in love with him before we had a baby. What should I do? How can I save my marriage?
3. When it comes to females feeling more secure when their males make better decisions 70% of the time - does this apply to all decisions? Like: raising children, cooking, the finances, car repair, household operations, cleaning, travel planning, etc? Are males most comfortable when their female partners make better decisions than them 30% of the time? What about work environments? Should females feel their male bosses and peers make better decisions than them 70% of the time? If so, how can females ever be leaders in the workplace?
Web: www.beatyourgenes.org
Doug Lisle, PhD www.esteemdynamics.com
Nathan Gershfeld, DC www.fastingescape.com
Intro & outro song: City of Happy Ones • Ferenc Hegedus Licensed for use
Copyright Beat Your Genes Podcast