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E346: Applied Evolutionary Psychology, Young woman dating wealthy man, Dietary disagreement in raising child, Women may feel secure when mate is right more often

Beat Your Genes Podcast

Release Date: 11/29/2024

374: Gloat Therapy: What to Do with a Defiant Child show art 374: Gloat Therapy: What to Do with a Defiant Child

Beat Your Genes Podcast

Evolutionary psychologist, Doug Lisle, PhD discusses listener questions with co-host, Nathan Gershfeld. 0:00 Teaser Clips & Intro 01:20 Q1: Single mom asks for advice on dealing with her out of control son 13:30 Cognitive dissonance in a mom 20:55 Personality does not deteriorate 35:35 Gloat Therapy 46:00 Limitations of Positive/Negative Reinforcement 57:45 Final thoughts Q1: What is your advice to a single mom of a 15 year old teen male that is out of control and no consequences are changing his behavior? He says he hates his mother, wants to go to foster care, has a...

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373: I was in a Traumatic Relationship – How to Recover? show art 373: I was in a Traumatic Relationship – How to Recover?

Beat Your Genes Podcast

Evolutionary psychologist, Doug Lisle, PhD discusses listener questions with co-host, Nathan Gershfeld. 0:00 Teaser Clips & Intro 02:07 The Year of Dr. Lisle’s Book 3:13 New Personality Trait? Tendency for Victimhood https://doi.org/10.1016/j.paid.2020.110134 30:30 Disagreeable with a few moving parts 41:28 Q1: Past traumatic relationship – how to start dating again? 1:05:20 Final thoughts Q1: How do I regain my self confidence after narcissistic abuse? I had an extremely emotionally abusive partner who would constantly call me fat even though I wasn’t (I was 5’4...

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372: Love, Lust, Lies & Lost Motivation show art 372: Love, Lust, Lies & Lost Motivation

Beat Your Genes Podcast

Evolutionary psychologist, Doug Lisle, PhD discusses listener questions with co-host, Nathan Gershfeld. 0:00 Teaser Clips & Intro 01:45 Q1: Dating broke, unmotivated men in my 70’s 13:40 Q2: Reparations: Trade, Force, or Fraud? 28:10 Q3: Daughter likes Bad Boys, but Mom and Dad want her to date the Dull Nice Guys 38:23 Q4: Searching for Spark After Lifelong Apathy 49:00 Final thoughts Q1:  How does a woman in her early 70s, who is neither broke nor retired and also engaged in several creative projects,  feel good about dating a similar-aged man (both single of...

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371: Evo Psych Didn’t Ruin Anything, You’re Just Focused on the Scary Part show art 371: Evo Psych Didn’t Ruin Anything, You’re Just Focused on the Scary Part

Beat Your Genes Podcast

0:00 Teaser Clips & Intro 02:42 Q1:  Listener struggles with finding meaning and motivation after embracing an evolutionary-psychology worldview that feels deterministic and uncomfortable. 7:03 The start of psychotherapy 17:00 Life problems are competitive 33:10 You’re not better off not knowing about human nature 49:07 Everybody knows the truth, deep down 1:05:04 Final thoughts Q1: This podcast has ruined my life. Well, not exactly, but it certainly hasn’t helped. Yet, like passing a car crash, I cannot look away. My desire to understand the true nature of our...

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370: Chasing vs. Coasting: Why the Dynamics Change for Both Sexes show art 370: Chasing vs. Coasting: Why the Dynamics Change for Both Sexes

Beat Your Genes Podcast

Evolutionary psychologist, Doug Lisle, PhD discusses listener questions with co-host, Nathan Gershfeld. 0:00 Teaser Clips & Intro 01:51 Q1:  Are men destined to hold more power in relationships due to women being the higher investment party? 09:23 What are relationships? 18:08 Are women the only ones who need affirmation & esteem signals? 34:30  What do we need in a relationship? 46:32 The only hope for a dying relationship Q1: Are men destined to hold more power in relationships, aka in a position of power, because women are always the higher investment...

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369: Love - The Glue Between Anxious Women and Wandering Men show art 369: Love - The Glue Between Anxious Women and Wandering Men

Beat Your Genes Podcast

Evolutionary psychologist, Doug Lisle, PhD discusses listener questions with co-host, Nathan Gershfeld. 0:00 Teaser Clips & Intro 02:25 Q1:  When Neuroticism Sees the Breakup Coming Before He Does 11:25 Small Adjustments vs Sudden shifts 20:30 Analyzing key parameters 36:20 Q2: Pair Bonding: Nature’s Anti-Chippy Software Update 45:15 Final thoughts Q1: I am a female scoring high on the vulnerability dimension of neuroticism on the Big 5 assessment. I have always left partners first when I felt any kind of instability in the relationship or felt they weren't...

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368: Great Romance vs. Great Regret… PLUS: Can the “Least Attractive” Still Be Happy? show art 368: Great Romance vs. Great Regret… PLUS: Can the “Least Attractive” Still Be Happy?

Beat Your Genes Podcast

Evolutionary psychologist, Doug Lisle, PhD discusses listener questions with co-host, Nathan Gershfeld. 0:00 Teaser Clips & Intro 04:03 Q1:  Married for 20 years but never loved him 21:10 Using the written word to express yourself 40:55 Q2: Can the "least attractive" still find sexual satisfaction and happiness?  1:03:25 Final thoughts Q1: I have been married to my husband for 20 years, we are both 45 now. He is a wonderful person, gentle, caring, sweet, intelligent, and an amazing father to our three small children, who all love him deeply. We have been through so...

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367: Emotional Affairs: A Modern Problem in an Ancient Brain show art 367: Emotional Affairs: A Modern Problem in an Ancient Brain

Beat Your Genes Podcast

Evolutionary psychologist, Doug Lisle, PhD discusses listener questions with co-host, Nathan Gershfeld. 0:00 Teaser Clips & Intro 01:08 Q1:  Emotional Affairs – Is there such a thing? Is this a modern phenomenon? 16:20 Human Love instincts 24:10 A modern day problem 46:46 Can you prevent an emotional affair? 1:02:45 Final thoughts  Q1: Does Dr. Lisle believe in such a thing as an emotional affair? For instance, if someone in a committed relationship has a friend, coworker, or other acquaintance that they are attracted to and even fantasize about, how do you know...

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366: Closing an Open Loop – Friend Disappeared 17 years ago show art 366: Closing an Open Loop – Friend Disappeared 17 years ago

Beat Your Genes Podcast

Evolutionary psychologist, Doug Lisle, PhD discusses listener questions with co-host, Nathan Gershfeld. 0:00 Teaser Clips & Intro 01:40 Q1:  My friend went missing 17 years. How can I get closure? 14:14 Getting familiar with different causes of death 33:23 Trying to find out what you’re worried about 51:30 Final thoughts Q1: My question is about closing an open loop when it is impossible to get closure and all the information. A good friend of mine went missing 17 years ago. Police did an investigation but never found out what happened to him. He seemingly vanished...

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365: Hustle Culture, Burnout, and the Evolution of Self Esteem show art 365: Hustle Culture, Burnout, and the Evolution of Self Esteem

Beat Your Genes Podcast

Evolutionary psychologist, Doug Lisle, PhD discusses listener questions with co-host, Nathan Gershfeld. 0:00 Teaser Clips & Intro 02:56 Q1: Do we call people lazy to excuse ourselves or to change them? 12:42 Q2:If goals bring esteem, why so much burnout? 28:20 Who gets burned out most often? 44:44 Evolution of Self esteem 1:10:20 Final thoughts Q1: Is the attribution of 'laziness' to others a form of self-deception by people high in conscientiousness to justify lowering our empathy to others? After all no one chooses their personality, some people are naturally less...

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More Episodes

Evolutionary psychologist, Doug Lisle, PhD discusses listener questions with host, Nathan Gershfeld.  In today's show, Dr. Lisle discusses the concept of Beating Your Genes and applying evolutionary psychology as a therapist, and then he answers listener questions on dating, dietary disagreement, and mutual decision making in relationships. 

0:00 Teasers and Intro

1:56 Applying evolutionary psychology in a therapy practice

25:05  Beating your Genes

28:05 Young woman dating a wealthy man but feeling guilty from all of the gifts

50:34 Husband and Vegan Wife have a great relationship but there is strain around what food to feed their baby

59:10  Women may feel more secure with their mate when he’s right 70% of the time

1. Three months ago, I started dating a very rich man. I am not at all a gold digger and I was not looking for a man at all when I met him. He treats me well and spoils me. However, I feel guilty accepting his gifts and money and not giving him anything in return. I’m 25 years old and a student. For my birthday he bought me thousands of dollars worth of jewelry while I bought him a tie. I felt so bad for not being able to buy him something more expensive. I feel like our relationship is unbalanced and feel guilty every time he spends money on me. I know lots of girls who would love to be in my situation and they definitely wouldn’t feel guilty. What’s wrong with me? How can I stop feeling guilty and just enjoy my time with him?

2. My husband and I are in a magic 10% relationship and we have a one year old baby. I am plant based vegan and he is not. I never thought this would be a problem before we had kids but now it’s putting a huge strain on our relationship. I’m the one who does the most child rearing and so our baby started eating 100% whole foods plant based like me. My husband however thinks that veganism is not healthy for babies so he insists on giving her eggs, meat etc for her brain development. Maybe I have OCD when it comes to healthy eating but I am in such emotional pain when I see him feeding the baby meat. We fight all the time over this and if we continue like this we will end up divorced, which I don’t want to happen because I know I was so in love with him before we had a baby. What should I do? How can I save my marriage?

3. When it comes to females feeling more secure when their males make better decisions 70% of the time - does this apply to all decisions? Like: raising children, cooking, the finances, car repair, household operations, cleaning, travel planning, etc? Are males most comfortable when their female partners make better decisions than them 30% of the time? What about work environments? Should females feel their male bosses and peers make better decisions than them 70% of the time? If so, how can females ever be leaders in the workplace?

 

Web: www.beatyourgenes.org

Doug Lisle, PhD www.esteemdynamics.com

Nathan Gershfeld, DC www.fastingescape.com

Intro & outro song: City of Happy Ones • Ferenc Hegedus Licensed for use

Copyright Beat Your Genes Podcast