E355: I Married Him to Have Kids... Now He Doesn’t Want Them!
Release Date: 04/03/2025
358: Pretty Girls, Cold Feet, and Estrogen Dreams
Beat Your Genes Podcast
Evolutionary psychologist, Doug Lisle, PhD discusses listener questions with co-host, Nathan Gershfeld. 0:00 Teaser Clips & Intro 01:35 Q1: I’m pretty but my ugly competitors are getting plastic surgery! 19:05 Q2: My big, expensive wedding is coming up… but I don’t want to get married anymore 27:59 Q3: Can I increase my estrogen to get more beautiful? 44:28 Final thoughts Q1: You say that a woman’s physical appearance is the most important aspect of her attractiveness when attracting a mate, but we now live in a time when natural beauty has no value...
info_outline
357: Loving the Irrational, Living with the Stuck, Losing the One
Beat Your Genes Podcast
Evolutionary psychologist, Doug Lisle, PhD discusses listener questions with co-host, Nathan Gershfeld. 0:00 Teaser Clips & Intro 01:39 Q1: I’ve alerted my wife that she has distortions, but she still has them! 18:53 Irrational emotions vs distortions 29:48 Q2: Why would someone complain about their job but do nothing differently? 47:51 Q3: How can I get over the loss of my husband? 57:33 Final thoughts Q1: Dear Dr Lisle, pop psychology advises men to validate their wives emotions but how do I validate something that is objectively invalid. I have taken your advice and...
info_outline
356: You Want Them to Change—But Will They? Suicide, Marijuana, and Sobriety
Beat Your Genes Podcast
Evolutionary psychologist, Doug Lisle, PhD discusses listener questions with co-host, Nathan Gershfeld. 0:00 Teaser Clips 0:32 Q1 Nephew is suicidal, but he called to tell me 09:19 The psychology of suicide 30:08 Follow up question from E355 37:20 Q2 My husband is addicted to marijuana – can he change? 53:07 Q3: I’m one month sober – can it last? 1:14:19 Conclusion Q1: What do you do when a family member calls you and tells you that they are suicidal? Last night I received a phone call from my 35 year old nephew telling me he was suicidal. Growing up he was my...
info_outline
E355: I Married Him to Have Kids... Now He Doesn’t Want Them!
Beat Your Genes Podcast
Evolutionary psychologist, Doug Lisle, PhD discusses listener questions with co-host, Nathan Gershfeld. 0:00 Teaser Clips 0:22 Q1 Husband just decided he no longer wants kids 18:08 What could have gone wrong? 27:01 Cinderella Effect 32:06 Q2 I’m pregnant and need emotional support, but my husband is focused on his business 44:10 Conclusion Q1: I’m a 39 year old woman and my husband has just decided that he no longer wants to have kids. We talked extensively about this before getting married, I explained to him how important this was to me and he agreed that he wants...
info_outline
354: Can't Lower Your Standards? That’s Not a Flaw – It’s Your Biology.
Beat Your Genes Podcast
Evolutionary psychologist, Doug Lisle, PhD discusses listener questions with co-host, Nathan Gershfeld. Q1: How does one know if or when it is time to settle in dating? I’m 45 years old and have only dated men who I would consider a friend, and have never met anyone who excites me like a romantic partner would. Therefore, I let these men go, kept looking for the next best thing and never found it. Is there a point in life where we should just realize that this partner is the best we are ever going to get even though they are different than what we imagined? Is there a point where we...
info_outline
353: Wife hired an escort while I was working, Going to grad school to find a rich husband, Strategies for getting revenge
Beat Your Genes Podcast
Evolutionary psychologist, Doug Lisle, PhD discusses listener questions with co-host, Nathan Gershfeld. 0:00 Teaser Clips & Intro 0:51 My wife hired an escort but says it wasn’t technically cheating! 19:01 I’m going to grad school to find a rich husband, but I’m not that into it 40:38 Scratching the psychological itch to get revenge Question 1: Dear Dr. Lisle, I’m a 38 year old male and I work very long hours in finance. My wife, who is 27, and I have been going through a sort of dead bedroom situation for the past few months because I have been working 16-18 hours a...
info_outline
352: My son is demoralized! I married for money 25 years ago, now what? I love my partner, but I want some comparison
Beat Your Genes Podcast
Evolutionary psychologist, Doug Lisle, PhD discusses listener questions with co-host, Nathan Gershfeld. 0:00 Teaser Clips & Intro 1:09 My son doesn’t work, spends all day in his room, and lacks interest or motivation 17:08 What causes motivation? 21:40 I married a man I don’t love 25 years ago 42:24 Very happy with my partner of 12 years, but want to experience someone else as a comparison Question 1: I have a very difficult adult child. My 23yo easily got a college degree at 21yo in computer science with excellent grades. Despite the warnings and encouragement,...
info_outline
351: What is Transference and Counter-transference in a Psycho-therapeutic relationshiop? Is this Freudian concept out-dated?
Beat Your Genes Podcast
Evolutionary psychologist, Doug Lisle, PhD discusses listener questions with co-host, Nathan Gershfeld. In today's show, Dr. Lisle discusses a listener’s question about transference and counter-transference. 0:00 Intro 0:57 Question #1 2:46 A synopsis of psycho-dynamic thinking 9:36 Psycho-dynamic thinking is naïve and bizarre 11:21 What is a therapeutic relationship 20:10 Attraction can occur in a therapeutic relationship 26:50 ‘Transference’ from therapist’s past experiences 33:43 Therapeutic dynamic is usually not a burden or threat 37:36...
info_outline
E350: Are women delusional,humble, or just right about how hot they are? What is “the Magic 10%”? Listener wants to know why she fantasizes about women while with boyfriend, Listener is puzzled by choices of family member with aggressive cancer
Beat Your Genes Podcast
Evolutionary psychologist, Doug Lisle, PhD discusses listener questions with host, Nathan Gershfeld. In today's show, we discuss a recent survey reported by survey artist, @Aella_Girl (on X). This survey reveals some interesting deductions about human mating difficulties in finding our “Magic 10%”. Dr. Lisle explains what the term “Magic 10%” means, and we then go over 2 listener questions – the first is whether sexuality is learned or conditioned, specifically bisexual fantasies, and then our last question is about a family member whose recent cancer diagnosis has...
info_outline
E349: "Going crazy” after cheating on husband, Are there limitations to Personality or Intelligence tests? Are problematic/disagreeable co-workers less estrogenized? Follow-up question from E347
Beat Your Genes Podcast
Evolutionary psychologist, Doug Lisle, PhD discusses listener questions with host, Nathan Gershfeld. In today's show, Dr. Lisle discusses the idea of “going crazy”, a question about personality and intelligence testing, a question about disagreeable co-workers, and a follow-up from episode 347. 0:00 Teaser Clips 1:23 Question 1: Woman cheats on her husband then snaps 9:57 Can it be induced by psychiatric medications 12:22 Question 2 – Are there errors/biases in personality or intelligence testing? 23:40 What are some limitations to personality or intelligence testing? ...
info_outlineEvolutionary psychologist, Doug Lisle, PhD discusses listener questions with co-host, Nathan Gershfeld.
0:00 Teaser Clips
0:22 Q1 Husband just decided he no longer wants kids
18:08 What could have gone wrong?
27:01 Cinderella Effect
32:06 Q2 I’m pregnant and need emotional support, but my husband is focused on his business
44:10 Conclusion
Q1: I’m a 39 year old woman and my husband has just decided that he no longer wants to have kids. We talked extensively about this before getting married, I explained to him how important this was to me and he agreed that he wants kids as well. Now, a few months into the marriage, he changed his mind and doesn’t want them anymore. This is honestly a dealbreaker for me. My problem is that I love him, and if I leave him now, there is no guarantee that I will ever find another man to have kids with, much less love. I’m 39 years old so my biological clock is ticking and I don’t have much time left and I know finding someone to have kids with takes a long time. What should I do? Should I leave him and risk never finding anyone else to love and have kids with, or stay with him, hoping he will change his mind or let go of my lifelong dream to have kids?
Q2: I have a baby due soon, but my partner is going through a tough time with his business which is causing him huge emotional distress at a time when I need his emotional support. He is stressed and entirely consumed with ruminations about his business (although financially everything is OK). Part of me feels resentful, part of me wants to make him happy. How can we navigate this reality without damaging our relationship in the meantime? We have love, commitment, kids and mortgage together and I'm happy in the relationship except for the fact that 99% of his mental energy is now going into his business with not much left for me and new baby.
X: @BeatYourGenes
Web: www.beatyourgenes.org
Doug Lisle, PhD www.esteemdynamics.com
Nathan Gershfeld, DC www.fastingescape.com
Intro & outro song: City of Happy Ones • Ferenc Hegedus Licensed for use
Copyright Beat Your Genes Podcast