Libsyn Directory

352: Three Tools for Mastering "Difficult" Conversations

Release Date: 02/02/2026

352: Three Tools for Mastering "Difficult" Conversations

The Elegant Warrior with Heather Hansen

In today’s episode of The Elegant Warrior, Heather breaks down why “difficult conversations” are only difficult if you believe they are. Whether you’re giving or receiving feedback, negotiating a raise, setting a boundary, or asking for help, Heather shares three practical tools to help you prepare mentally, emotionally, and strategically. Drawing from her experience as a trial attorney, communication expert, and advocate, Heather explains how your beliefs shape your energy, your actions, and ultimately your results. You’ll learn how to reframe the story you’re telling yourself,...

351: Your Playlist, Your Enneagram, and Your Wisdom with Susan Drumm

The Elegant Warrior with Heather Hansen

In this episode of The Elegant Warrior, Heather welcomes leadership expert Susan Drumm to explore how music, neuroscience, and the Enneagram can transform your leadership and your life. Susan shares her fascinating journey from Harvard Law School to consulting, television, acting, and ultimately leadership development, showing how following intuition and curiosity can lead to extraordinary growth. Together, Heather and Susan dive into practical tools for recognizing patterns, disrupting limiting behaviors, and building new mental “playlists” that support empowerment, confidence, and...

350: What is Motivational Interviewing and Why Should I Care? With Kim Bisset

The Elegant Warrior with Heather Hansen

In today’s episode, Heather sits down with Kim Bisset to explore Motivational Interviewing and why it is such a powerful tool for communication, leadership, coaching, and advocacy. Rather than relying on pressure, persuasion, or fixing, Motivational Interviewing focuses on curiosity, collaboration, and helping people uncover their own reasons for change. Drawing from Kim’s expertise and Heather’s background in law, coaching, and healthcare communication, this conversation breaks down what Motivational Interviewing really is, what it is not, and why it works so well in high stakes...

349: Does Thought Beat Action? Manifesting, Preparing and Acting for 2026

The Elegant Warrior with Heather Hansen

In today’s episode, Heather challenges one of the most popular beliefs in personal development: that mindset alone creates change. While visualization, manifestation, and positive thinking all have value, Heather explains why none of them work without action. Joined by frequent guest Judge Rosemarie Aquilina, Heather explores how thinking, dreaming, preparing, and acting each play a role in real transformation and why action is ultimately what creates momentum. Together, they unpack the limits of visualization and manifestation when they are not paired with effort, practice, and follow...

348: THIS is Way More Important Than Mindset! Why Action Matters More Than Intention

The Elegant Warrior with Heather Hansen

In today’s episode, Heather challenges one of the most popular ideas in personal development: that mindset alone creates change. While visualization, manifestation, and positive thinking all have value, she explains why none of them work without action. Drawing from her own journey with weight loss, running marathons, writing books, and building a career in advocacy and communication, Heather shows how real transformation only happens when thinking turns into doing. Backed by research, neuroscience, and practical tools, this episode is a powerful reminder that intention without action keeps...

347: Unfolded - How to Believe in Yourself and Your Ability to Fly

The Elegant Warrior with Heather Hansen

In today’s episode, Heather welcomes authors, leadership consultants, and husband and wife team Dr. Linda Schubring and Brian Schubring to explore the deeper meaning of identity, transformation, and trusting your inner map. Together, they discuss their bestselling book Unfolded: Lessons in Transformation from an Origami Crane, a powerful allegory that invites readers to rediscover their inner wisdom and reshape how they show up in the world. Through stories of leadership coaching, personal reflection, and creative collaboration, Heather, Linda, and Brian unpack how uncertainty, change, and...

346: The New Power Pose-and How to Use It to Win

The Elegant Warrior with Heather Hansen

In today’s episode, Heather invites you to rethink everything you’ve been taught about power poses, confidence, and presence. While the classic “hands-on-hips” stance is often linked to authority, this episode reveals a far more effective and far more compassionate power move: simply sitting down. Drawing from real experiences in leadership, advocacy, and high-stakes conversations, Heather shares how lowering yourself to someone else’s level can transform interactions, build trust, and leave a lasting impact. From courtroom moments to everyday leadership lessons, you’ll see why...

345: How to Avoid Being Scammed by AI, Other, and Yourself

The Elegant Warrior with Heather Hansen

In today’s episode, Heather Hansen breaks down one of the most important skills we all need in a world shaped by rapid information, social media trends, artificial intelligence, and constant noise: the ability to avoid being fooled, misled, or scammed. As a trial attorney who spent decades cross-examining witnesses and uncovering the truth, Heather Hansen shares a simple but powerful four-part process you can use to stay discerning, think critically, and protect yourself from false ideas, misleading content, and even your own unexamined thoughts. Whether it is viral AI clips, trending online...

344: How to Show Compassion

The Elegant Warrior with Heather Hansen

In today’s episode, Heather Hansen explores one of the most powerful tools we have for connection, credibility, and healing: compassion. Drawing from research, courtroom experience, and two decades defending healthcare providers, Heather Hansen breaks down the real meaning of compassion and the specific actions that genuinely make people feel seen, heard, and supported. She also shares new insights from recent medical research on how compassion improves patient outcomes, reduces burnout for healthcare providers, and strengthens every relationship in your life. Whether you are a leader,...

343: Speak Up with Judge Rosemarie Aquilina

The Elegant Warrior with Heather Hansen

In today’s episode, Heather Hansen sits down with her good friend and returning guest, Judge Rosemarie Aquilina, Michigan judge, author, and trailblazer best known for presiding over the Larry Nassar USA Gymnastics case. Together, they dive into Judge Aquilina’s newest book, Speak Up: Lessons in Trusting Your Instincts, and unpack what it truly means to embrace your voice, conquer fear, and stand in your self-worth. Drawing from her decades on the bench, her time in the military, and her role as a mentor for women, Rosemarie shares how we can turn fear into fuel, failure into wisdom, and...

More Episodes

Drawing from her experience as a trial attorney, communication expert, and advocate, Heather explains how your beliefs shape your energy, your actions, and ultimately your results. You’ll learn how to reframe the story you’re telling yourself, calm your nervous system when fight, flight, freeze, or fawn shows up, and recognize when argument helps and when it hurts.

This episode is a grounded, actionable guide to approaching high-stakes conversations with more confidence, calm, and clarity.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

Why “difficult” is just a story
How your belief about a conversation determines your energy, behavior, and outcome.
The BEAR framework
How belief leads to energy, energy leads to action, and action leads to results.
How to test your story
Why changing the narrative in your head can immediately change how your body responds.
Mothering the animal of your body
How to work with your nervous system instead of fighting it when stress shows up.
The three Bs for calming your nervous system
Breathing, binding, and bending to signal safety and control.
Fight, flight, freeze, and fawn
How these instinctive responses show up in conversations like negotiations and feedback.
When argument is the wrong tool
Why arguing rarely works when the other person is the decision maker.
A grounding mantra for high-stakes moments
A simple phrase to calm your subconscious and help you choose presence over fear.

In this episode:

00:00 – Introduction & Evolution of the Podcast

04:00 – Preparing for High-Stakes Conversations

04:30 – Tool 1: Test Your Story

08:24 – Tool 2: Mothering the Animal

09:47 – The Three B’s: Breathe, Bind, and Extend

14:28 – Tool 3: Know When to Argue

17:15 – Summary of the Three Tools

18:21 – Tool For Today (TT): Affirmation Mantra

20:12 – Conclusion & Closing Remarks

Resources and Links:

📘 Book: Advocate to Win by Heather Hansen
Learn how to persuade, influence, and communicate effectively in high-stakes situations.

🎧 Grace Smith, Clinical Hypnotherapist
Learn more about hypnosis, subconscious calming techniques, and the mantra shared in these videos. Learn more about Grace Smith at her official website: gracesmith.com

Connect with Heather:

The Elegant Warrior Podcast and content posted by Heather Hansen is presented solely for general informational, educational, and entertainment purposes. The use of information on this podcast or materials linked from this podcast or website is at the user’s own risk. It is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional, diagnosis, or treatment. Users should not disregard or delay in obtaining medical advice for any medical or mental health condition they may have and should seek the assistance of their healthcare professionals for any such conditions.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

In this episode:

Resources and Links:

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