How Different Communication Styles Impact Marriage, Money, and Emotional Wellbeing
Emotional Balance Sheet with Paul Fenner
Release Date: 07/31/2025
The Questions We Forget to Ask Ourselves
Emotional Balance Sheet with Paul Fenner
How much of what you believe about money, success, and parenting is actually true, and how much is just where and when you happened to grow up? This week's episode digs into the uncomfortable questions we rarely ask ourselves about our own blind spots, and gives you a practical filter to sort values worth protecting from scripts worth questioning. I share stories about the gap between what we think we know and what we've actually experienced. From parents struggling to accept their kids' different paths to the life transitions that revealed how little we understood, this episode is about...
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Pessimism Sounds Smart, Optimism Builds Wealth
Emotional Balance Sheet with Paul Fenner
Why does bad news feel so convincing while good news feels like a sales pitch? If you've ever caught yourself doom-scrolling financial headlines and then second-guessing your entire plan, you're not alone. In this episode, I explore why pessimism sounds smart, why optimism has been the better long-term bet, and how busy parents can filter out the noise without burying their heads in the sand. I share a story about a client who almost made a fear-driven decision and talk about my own battle with pessimistic thinking. This week's action: notice where your financial anxiety is actually coming...
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What To Do When The Plan Stops Working
Emotional Balance Sheet with Paul Fenner
You made the plan. You ran the numbers. You did everything right. So why does it feel like you're one unexpected expense away from starting over? This week, I am focusing on what happens when the plan stops working, and why that might not be the disaster you think it is. I share a story about a family whose perfect five-year projection fell apart after an unexpected health diagnosis, and what they discovered in the rebuilding. I also cover my own experience navigating career changes and raising triplets +1 when plans rarely survive contact with reality. Your action step: Look at your...
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The Price and Pressure to Create Perfect Memories
Emotional Balance Sheet with Paul Fenner
What happens when the opportunities we give our kids become the pressure we put on ourselves? Dr. Jennifer Dragonette, our resident therapist expert, is back with us to dig into the gap between what we want for our families and what our families actually want. It started with a cruise my triplets didn't enjoy, a conversation with another dad at a basketball game, and an NHL hockey player from our local high school who was the star goalie in the recent winter Olympics. Our conversation focuses on the instinct to provide our kids with opportunities we never had, and how that instinct can...
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Can We Really Do That?
Emotional Balance Sheet with Paul Fenner
What happens when you're doing everything right on paper but still feel one car repair away from a financial meltdown? Or when you're fully present with your kids today but have no idea how you'll pay for college in five years? Most families I work with fall into one of these two camps, and both are fragile in different ways. This week, I'm exploring Morgan Housel's idea that the best way to deal with uncertainty is to save like a pessimist and invest like an optimist. I share stories of two families on opposite ends of this spectrum, why holding both mindsets at once feels so...
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Why Quiet Time Is Your Most Valuable Financial Skill
Emotional Balance Sheet with Paul Fenner
I'm wrestling with a question that's been on my mind lately: Have we given money a job it simply can't do? There is a complicated relationship between money and our emotions, and how we sometimes hope numbers and bank balances will take away our fear or anxiety, even though those are emotions, not equations. Inspired by Carl Richards' book "Your Money," I talk about how our financial lives and our feelings are tangled together, especially for those of us in the thick of parenting, where there's never really an "off season." With insights from thought leaders like Morgan Housel, I explore...
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When Money Buys Everything Except the Time to Enjoy It
Emotional Balance Sheet with Paul Fenner
You're earning more than ever, but do you actually control your time? Most families discover that financial success came at a cost they didn't expect to pay. In this episode, I explore the real dividend money provides: not fancy stuff, but time autonomy. I share the pattern I see in families who've achieved financial success but lost control of their schedules, and why the finish line with kids at home comes faster than you think. This week's challenge: Name three things you did for money that cost you time. Then ask if the trade was worth it. Connect with Paul If you're a family with...
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Places to Hide Aren't Roadblocks
Emotional Balance Sheet with Paul Fenner
Ever feel stuck between wanting to start something new and actually making it happen? Whether it's launching a business, updating a resume, or initiating a difficult conversation, something often gets in the way—and it's not always what we think. We often label our hesitation as "roadblocks," but more often than not, those roadblocks are actually places we hide from fear—fear of the unknown, failure, or disappointment. Roadblocks are often external barriers we point to, such as busy schedules or endless tasks, which usually cover our inner fears. What's the thing you've been...
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Why Behavior Beats Spreadsheets
Emotional Balance Sheet with Paul Fenner
Have you ever wondered why two families with nearly identical financial situations can end up in completely different places? It's not because the math was wrong, but because of how they responded when it mattered. Today, I am digging into why financial success has less to do with what we know and more to do with what we actually do when we're staring down competing priorities. I walk through two real client situations in which both families had solid plans but were facing trade-offs among mortgage payoff, 529 contributions, retirement investing, and home upgrades. Same numbers, different...
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You Can Always Make More Money
Emotional Balance Sheet with Paul Fenner
How do you put a value on memorable experiences? After reading a moving LinkedIn post from my friend Samantha Russell, who lost her husband and is now raising three kids on her own, I found myself reflecting on my own family's journey. Our triplets started high school this year and our plus-one daughter tackles her own busy calendar. With the chaos of managing busy schedules, there is a temptation to worry about what's next, which can easily cause precious moments to slip by. To help with this chaos, I talk about a meaningful tool I use in my financial planning practice that really puts into...
info_outlineEver notice how you and your partner seem to "think out loud" differently—or not at all?
Our resident therapist expert, Dr. Jennifer Dragonette, is back to talk about how differences in processing and communication styles can shape our relationships (and even our financial decisions!).
You'll hear us share stories from our own families (yes, even the awkward silences and eye rolls), explore why venting isn't always an invitation for advice, and break down the nonverbal cues that can say so much more than words. Dr. Jen offers some incredible, practical tips on how to name our patterns, set expectations, and really invest in understanding where our partners are coming from—emotionally and financially.
So, whether you're trying to navigate a disagreement with your spouse, feeling misunderstood, or want to strengthen your connection at home, I think you'll find a lot to take away from this honest and relatable discussion. Let's dive in!
Connect with Paul
Contact Paul here or schedule a time to meet with Paul here.
For resources discussed in this episode, visit tammacapital.com/podcast.
Follow Paul on LinkedIn and YouTube.
And feel free to email Paul at pfenner@tammacapital.com with any feedback, questions, or ideas for future guests and topics.
Resources Featured in This Episode:
How Parenting Challenges Shape Real-World Financial Advice
Building Bridges in Relationships: The Impact of ‘Yes And’ on Understanding
How to Stay Focused on Your Financial Goals During a Politically Charged Summer