Money is a Number, Emotions are Stories
Emotional Balance Sheet with Paul Fenner
Release Date: 12/18/2025
Inflated Expectations: The Hidden Force Undermining Financial Peace
Emotional Balance Sheet with Paul Fenner
Today’s economy doesn’t just create wealth. It creates the ability to show off wealth, and that visibility inflates expectations so quickly that even high-achieving parents often feel behind, overwhelmed, or financially stretched. Today, I break down why expectations rise faster than real progress, how that impacts family decisions, and why the small behaviors you repeat consistently are far more important than dramatic financial moves. If you’ve ever felt like your life looks “successful” on paper but still feels stretched or pressured in real time, you’ll want to hear this...
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Are you Rich Yet? Why Families Still Struggle to Feel Wealthy
Emotional Balance Sheet with Paul Fenner
I came across a Wall Street Journal article about families making over $250,000, putting them in the top 10% of all household incomes in the country, who still don't feel wealthy. One family earning $350,000 (in the top 4%) owns two homes, has three kids in club sports, and can't shake the feeling that they're struggling. In this episode, I explore why modern life makes it so hard to feel like you have enough. How our standards of living have improved dramatically, but we've just created different problems. Why kids' activities drain families more than almost anything else. And how the real...
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Bucket List Item Don't Need To Be Big
Emotional Balance Sheet with Paul Fenner
When was the last time you said yes to something small that mattered? Last year I checked something off my bucket list. Not a grand adventure or expensive trip, just a concert I'd been wanting to see for 30 years. The Barenaked Ladies finally made it happen, and what surprised me was how much emotion came with something so small. In this episode, I talk about why we wait for the big moments while ordinary experiences slip past us. Why music can take you back to exactly who you were. And why little adventures with the people you love might matter more than the trip you keep postponing. This...
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Not All Struggles Are Due to Laziness
Emotional Balance Sheet with Paul Fenner
What if not all success is earned and not all struggle is deserved? This week's episode digs into something we don't talk about enough: the role of luck, circumstance, and timing in how our lives turn out. When you're managing money, kids, and everything else, it's easy to believe you earned every good thing and failed at every hard thing. But that's not the whole story. I share a few stories from my generational Family Office practice, working with families across different starting lines, and reflect on what advantages compound across generations and what that means for how we judge...
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Money is a Number, Emotions are Stories
Emotional Balance Sheet with Paul Fenner
I'm wrestling with a question that's been on my mind lately: Have we given money a job it simply can't do? There is a complicated relationship between money and our emotions, and how we sometimes hope numbers and bank balances will take away our fear or anxiety, even though those are emotions, not equations. Inspired by Carl Richards' book "Your Money," I talk about how our financial lives and our feelings are tangled together, especially for those of us in the thick of parenting, where there's never really an "off season." With insights from thought leaders like Morgan Housel, I explore the...
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Navigating Positive and Negative Sentiment in Financial Planning and Family Life
Emotional Balance Sheet with Paul Fenner
Are you keeping score in your relationships with your spouse, kids, or friends? I welcome back our resident therapist expert, Dr. Jennifer Dragonette, for an eye-opening conversation about the ways our perspectives can shape every aspect of our relationships—at home and beyond. Dr. Jen introduces us to the idea of “positive vs. negative sentiment override.” It’s all about how we subconsciously gather evidence to support the story we’re telling ourselves about our partner, our kids, or even our coworkers, and how that can tip our emotional balance, for better or worse. We dig in and...
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Parenting and Portfolios: How Life's Chaos Brings Unexpected Calm
Emotional Balance Sheet with Paul Fenner
I've found a surprising overlap between being a parent and serving as a wealth advisor. As the dad of teenage triplets plus one, I know firsthand how both roles bring their share of chaos and noise. Whether I'm spending weekends at humid, high-energy swim meets supporting my competitive swimmer daughter, or helping families navigate a financial landscape filled with political turmoil, inflation, and AI uncertainty, the challenges are real—but so are the rewards. What I've learned is that hope keeps us coming back, both as parents and advisors. Being around fellow swim parents reminds me of...
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How to Thrive, Not Survive, The Holiday Season Financially & Emotionally with Dr. Jennifer Dragonette
Emotional Balance Sheet with Paul Fenner
Are you trying to survive, or do you want to thrive this holiday season? I welcome back our resident psychologist, Dr. Jennifer Dragonette, to tackle the emotional whirlwind of the year-end holiday season. Both Dr. Jen and I felt it was time to reframe the usual “surviving the holidays” narrative. Instead of just getting through it, we talk about how you can actually enjoy and find meaning in this busy, sometimes stressful time. Together, we dig into four areas that create holiday pressure: financial strain, tricky family dynamics, the pain of losing a loved one, and dealing with career...
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Why Families Feel Behind: The Emotional and Financial Pressures to Keep Up - Dr. Jennifer Dragonette
Emotional Balance Sheet with Paul Fenner
Are you feeling behind financially? Are you a parent juggling everything from college savings to daily expenses? Dr. Jennifer Dragonette returns for her much-anticipated monthly conversation, and we dive deep into a timely and universal theme: why so many families, even those who are objectively doing well, still feel like they’re falling behind emotionally and financially. A recurring theme during my “planning season” has revealed a common thread among the families I work with: a persistent sense of anxiety and not-enoughness surrounding our personal and financial lives. Dr. Jen unpacks...
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How Technology Impacts Our Family, Finances, and Well-being and What We Can Do About It - Scott Hanselman
Emotional Balance Sheet with Paul Fenner
How much tech do you let into your life? Do you even know why you let certain tech into your life? I’m thrilled to welcome back my friend and Microsoft VP, Scott Hanselman. It’s been almost four and a half years since our last conversation, and so much has changed for both of us—at home, at work, and everywhere in between. Scott and I dive into the heart of his recent TEDx Talk, where he questions whether technology is truly delivering on its promises of convenience, connection, and community. We discuss the concept of the “third place”—those spaces outside of home and work where...
info_outlineI'm wrestling with a question that's been on my mind lately: Have we given money a job it simply can't do?
There is a complicated relationship between money and our emotions, and how we sometimes hope numbers and bank balances will take away our fear or anxiety, even though those are emotions, not equations.
Inspired by Carl Richards' book "Your Money," I talk about how our financial lives and our feelings are tangled together, especially for those of us in the thick of parenting, where there's never really an "off season." With insights from thought leaders like Morgan Housel, I explore the challenge of defining your goals and finding what "enough" really means, even as the goalposts keep moving.
If you've ever wondered why having more money doesn't quite silence your worries or how your money beliefs shape your life, you're not alone.
Connect with Paul
Contact Paul here or schedule a time to meet with Paul here.
For resources discussed in this episode, visit tammacapital.com/podcast.
Follow Paul on LinkedIn and YouTube.
And feel free to email Paul at pfenner@tammacapital.com with any feedback, questions, or ideas for future guests and topics.
Resources Featured in This Episode:
Just Wait: Fuel for Financial and Emotional Anxiety
Understanding and Managing Anxiety: Practical Steps for a Balanced Life
Building Healthy Habits: Overcoming Fear and Anxiety Through Tiny Changes