#156 Finding Yourself After Faking It: Sari Botton on Memoir, Honesty, and Editing
Release Date: 09/11/2025
#176 The Domino Effect of Plot: Writing Emotionally Complex Characters with Tova Mirvis
Freelance Writing Direct with Estelle: Conversations with authors, journalists, agents, novelists, memoirists, niche writers, publishers, writing teachers, assigning editors and media experts.
Family loyalty can push ordinary people toward unimaginable choices. Estelle Erasmus chats with novelist and memoirist Tova Mirvis about her latest book, We Would Never, a gripping murder mystery inspired by a true crime case. While real events sparked the novel, the plot ultimately emerged from the emotional choices her characters make, with each decision setting off the next. Tova reveals that the real work happened on the inside, as she burrowed into the emotional lives of her characters: the anger, loyalty, fear, and love that drive people to extremes. In this episode: How a true crime...
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#175 From Mews(es) to Manuscript: How Inspired by Cats Became an Illustrated Literary Book
Freelance Writing Direct with Estelle: Conversations with authors, journalists, agents, novelists, memoirists, niche writers, publishers, writing teachers, assigning editors and media experts.
Did you know that cats have, in their feline way, shaped some of the greatest writing careers in literary history? Bob Eckstein and Nava Atlas join Estelle Erasmus to talk about their collaboration on Inspired by Cats: Writers and Their Mews(es), a visually rich book exploring the creative bond between writers and their feline companions. The conversation traces how the idea evolved from a shareable literary roundup into a full-scale book published by Norton. Bob and Nava unpack their creative process, from cleanly dividing roles between writing and illustration to navigating permissions,...
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#174 Forgiveness Without Apologies. Writing a Mother-Daughter Memoir
Freelance Writing Direct with Estelle: Conversations with authors, journalists, agents, novelists, memoirists, niche writers, publishers, writing teachers, assigning editors and media experts.
Forgiveness doesn’t erase the past. It changes who gets to control your present. In this episode of Freelance Writing Direct, Estelle Erasmus talks with filmmaker, writer, and coach Gayle Kirschenbaum and her 102-year-old mother, Mildred Kirschenbaum, about their volatile, funny, and hard-won evolution from conflict to connection. Gayle shares the story behind her debut memoir, Bullied to Besties: A Daughter’s Journey to Forgiveness, including the relentless criticism she grew up with, the physical toll it took, and the moment she realized the only way forward was to stop living as a...
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#173 Writing Flawed Female Characters in Noir Fiction with Barbara DeMarco-Barrett
Freelance Writing Direct with Estelle: Conversations with authors, journalists, agents, novelists, memoirists, niche writers, publishers, writing teachers, assigning editors and media experts.
After years of writing literary fiction, Barbara DeMarco-Barrett, author of Pool Fishing, saw her work shift when she turned to noir. Estelle Erasmus chats with Barbara about the genre shift that reignited her fiction and led to publication. Barbara shares how stepping into noir forced her to embrace plot, tension, and consequence, without sacrificing voice or depth. They touch on the big craft questions behind the book, including how place shapes story, how themes emerge across a collection, and how to build characters readers empathize with, even when those characters make bad choices....
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#172 A Year in Motion: Writing, Teaching, and Publishing in Real Time
Freelance Writing Direct with Estelle: Conversations with authors, journalists, agents, novelists, memoirists, niche writers, publishers, writing teachers, assigning editors and media experts.
In this solo recap episode, Estelle Erasmus reflects on a year shaped by creative momentum, personal loss, and professional growth. As she approaches 200 podcast episodes, expands her teaching at NYU and Writer’s Digest, and leads small-group workshops, she considers what this season revealed and what she is carrying forward into 2026. She also revisits major moments including her TEDx talk, How to Get Noticed in Your Writing and Beyond, students publishing in outlets like Modern Love, Brevity, The Boston Globe, The Kenyon Review, Audacity, and Business Insider, and the shifting landscape of...
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#171 Musings on Writing Through Uncertainty with Abigail Thomas
Freelance Writing Direct with Estelle: Conversations with authors, journalists, agents, novelists, memoirists, niche writers, publishers, writing teachers, assigning editors and media experts.
Memoir often begins where certainty ends, and that is exactly where Abigail Thomas feels most alive on the page. In this thoughtful conversation between friends, Estelle Erasmus and Abigail explore what it means to write through uncertainty, follow curiosity, and let small surprising moments become the heart of a story. This episode is for writers who crave honesty on the page, who wrestle with self-doubt, and who want practical ways to turn ordinary moments and uncomfortable memories into powerful stories. In This Episode: How Abby’s writing process starts with curiosity rather than...
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#170 Braiding Cultural Context into Your Memoir with Melissa Fraterrigo
Freelance Writing Direct with Estelle: Conversations with authors, journalists, agents, novelists, memoirists, niche writers, publishers, writing teachers, assigning editors and media experts.
Estelle Erasmus sits down with award-winning author Melissa Fraterrigo, whose latest book, The Perils of Girlhood, is a memoir in essays that examines identity, fear, body image, motherhood, memory, and the cultural touchstones that shaped so many girls growing up in the ‘80s and ‘90s. Together, Estelle and Melissa explore the moments that define girlhood, from fear and body image to parenting, consent, pop culture, and the stories we carry into adulthood, and how writing about them can open conversations we rarely have out loud. In this episode: The real fears that follow...
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#169 Finding the Line: How a Linear Structure Brought a Memoir Into Focus with Heather Sweeney
Freelance Writing Direct with Estelle: Conversations with authors, journalists, agents, novelists, memoirists, niche writers, publishers, writing teachers, assigning editors and media experts.
Some lives resist easy summary, and Heather Sweeney’s was one of them. After two decades inside a military marriage, marked by relocations, solo parenting, and a gradual loss of personal direction, she knew she had a story, but not yet a shape. Estelle Erasmus talks with Heather about how she translated that long, complicated stretch of living into her memoir, Camouflage: How I Emerged from the Shadows of a Military Marriage. They discuss the early drafting that felt scattered, the challenge of seeing her own experience clearly, and why a straightforward linear structure ultimately gave the...
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#168 The Making of A Modern Love Essay, “Negotiating the End of Us” with Leslie B. Blanchard
Freelance Writing Direct with Estelle: Conversations with authors, journalists, agents, novelists, memoirists, niche writers, publishers, writing teachers, assigning editors and media experts.
Leslie B. Blanchard joins Freelance Writing Direct for a conversation about developing her Modern Love essay, finding the line that anchored the piece, writing honestly about anticipatory grief, discovering structure through revision, clarifying metaphor, understanding what makes a submission stand out, and learning what the story truly wanted to say.Modern Love essays aren’t accidents, they’re built from a bold hook, clear structure, and often, the courage to write through grief. In this episode of Freelance Writing Direct, Estelle Erasmus talks with her student, writer Leslie B....
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#167 Fairyland: A Transcendent Father–Daughter Story Finds New Life in Film with Alysia Abbott
Freelance Writing Direct with Estelle: Conversations with authors, journalists, agents, novelists, memoirists, niche writers, publishers, writing teachers, assigning editors and media experts.
Queer history is family history, and Alysia Abbott’s Fairyland proves how one father-daughter story can illuminate an entire era. In this conversation, Estelle Erasmus talks with Alysia about her acclaimed memoir of growing up with her single gay father in 1970s and 80s San Francisco, and how that memoir found new life as a feature film more than a decade later. In this discussion, they explore the love, art, grief, and legacy at the heart of the story. Alysia shares how her father built a queer literary community long before the internet, and how his journals, letters, poems,...
info_outlineEstelle Erasmus is joined by editor Sari Botton, a memoirist featured in Poets & Writers’ “5 Over 50.” In this episode, Sari shares why the most powerful memoirs often illuminate the ordinary, how she found the right container to structure her story, and the lessons she’s learned about balancing honesty with protecting others on the page. She also discusses the challenges of people-pleasing, the persistence of “mean girls” into adulthood, and how she built a thriving editorial life through her Substack publications, Oldster, Memoir Land, and Adventures in Journalism.
Sari Botton's memoir in essays, And You May Find Yourself...Confessions of a Late-Blooming Gen-X Weirdo, was chosen by Poets & Writers magazine for the 2022 edition of its annual "5 Over 50" feature. For five years, she was the Essays Editor at Longreads. She edited the bestselling anthologies Goodbye to All That: Writers on Loving and Leaving New York and Never Can Say Goodbye: Writers on Their Unshakable Love for New York. She publishes Oldster Magazine, Memoir Land, and Adventures in Journalism.
In this episode:
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Why strong memoirs focus on the universal, not just the extraordinary [3:00]
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How to find the catalytic moment that gives your story shape [5:10]
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The importance of writing a fearless “vomit draft” before refining [20:18]
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Strategies for ethically blurring identities while keeping emotional truth [23:39]
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How to turn editorial skills into sustainable platforms and community-building [32:41]
Watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/tvQahdqPctE
Related Episode:
#143 What We Don’t Talk About: Family, Loss, Love, and the Art of Editing Anthologies with Michele Filgate
Connect with Sari
Instagram: http://instagram.com/saribotton
Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/saribotton.bsky.social
Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/sari.botton/
Substack: https://substack.com/@saribotton
Website: http://saribotton.com
Get More from Estelle:
Webinars: Sign up for Estelle’s webinar on October 9th in collaboration with Writer’s Digest
Mapping Your Memoir: How to Find the Heart and Shape of Your Story
https://writersdigestuniversity.mykajabi.com/mapping-your-memoir
Sign up for Estelle’s free online Editor-on-call NYU event on October 29th Inside Slate: An Unfiltered Conversation with Senior Editor, Rebecca Onion.
Register here: https://events.nyu.edu/event/368190-editor-on-call-inside-slate-an-unfiltered
🎤 TEDx Talk: How to Get Noticed in Your Writing and Beyond
Estelle blends personal storytelling with actionable strategies for standing out—starting with a chaotic moment involving Thomas the Tank Engine.
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About Estelle:
Estelle Erasmus is an award-winning journalist, author of Writing That Gets Noticed (named a “Best Book for Writers” by Poets & Writers), and host of Freelance Writing Direct—2025 Podcast of the Year (Education), American Writing Awards. A Contributing Editor for Writer’s Digest and adjunct professor at NYU, her work has appeared in The New York Times, The Washington Post, WIRED, PBS/Next Avenue, The Independent, and AARP: The Magazine. She’s served as editor-in-chief of five national magazines.
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📘 Writing That Gets Noticed – Buy the book | Audiobook
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📰 Subscribe on Substack: https://estelleserasmus.substack.com
Latest posts: “When Writers Are the Ones Blocking the Page: 6 Ways to Move Forward (and An Offer); Stop Counting Your Words. Start Shaping Your Story” and “How to Get Published in Cosmopolitan or Seventeen” -
🎧 More episodes: Freelance Writing Direct Podcast
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Read Estelle’s latest article How to Use the Internet to Become Your Own Private Investigator (Next Avenue/PBS)
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