#168 The Making of A Modern Love Essay, “Negotiating the End of Us” with Leslie B. Blanchard
Release Date: 12/04/2025
#171 Musings on Writing Through Uncertainty with Abigail Thomas
Freelance Writing Direct with Estelle: Conversations with authors, journalists, agents, novelists, memoirists, niche writers, publishers, writing teachers, assigning editors and media experts.
Memoir often begins where certainty ends, and that is exactly where Abigail Thomas feels most alive on the page. In this thoughtful conversation between friends, Estelle Erasmus and Abigail explore what it means to write through uncertainty, follow curiosity, and let small surprising moments become the heart of a story. This episode is for writers who crave honesty on the page, who wrestle with self-doubt, and who want practical ways to turn ordinary moments and uncomfortable memories into powerful stories. In This Episode: How Abby’s writing process starts with curiosity rather than...
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#170 Braiding Cultural Context into Your Memoir with Melissa Fraterrigo
Freelance Writing Direct with Estelle: Conversations with authors, journalists, agents, novelists, memoirists, niche writers, publishers, writing teachers, assigning editors and media experts.
Estelle Erasmus sits down with award-winning author Melissa Fraterrigo, whose latest book, The Perils of Girlhood, is a memoir in essays that examines identity, fear, body image, motherhood, memory, and the cultural touchstones that shaped so many girls growing up in the ‘80s and ‘90s. Together, Estelle and Melissa explore the moments that define girlhood, from fear and body image to parenting, consent, pop culture, and the stories we carry into adulthood, and how writing about them can open conversations we rarely have out loud. In this episode: The real fears that follow...
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#169 Finding the Line: How a Linear Structure Brought a Memoir Into Focus with Heather Sweeney
Freelance Writing Direct with Estelle: Conversations with authors, journalists, agents, novelists, memoirists, niche writers, publishers, writing teachers, assigning editors and media experts.
Some lives resist easy summary, and Heather Sweeney’s was one of them. After two decades inside a military marriage, marked by relocations, solo parenting, and a gradual loss of personal direction, she knew she had a story, but not yet a shape. Estelle Erasmus talks with Heather about how she translated that long, complicated stretch of living into her memoir, Camouflage: How I Emerged from the Shadows of a Military Marriage. They discuss the early drafting that felt scattered, the challenge of seeing her own experience clearly, and why a straightforward linear structure ultimately gave the...
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#168 The Making of A Modern Love Essay, “Negotiating the End of Us” with Leslie B. Blanchard
Freelance Writing Direct with Estelle: Conversations with authors, journalists, agents, novelists, memoirists, niche writers, publishers, writing teachers, assigning editors and media experts.
Leslie B. Blanchard joins Freelance Writing Direct for a conversation about developing her Modern Love essay, finding the line that anchored the piece, writing honestly about anticipatory grief, discovering structure through revision, clarifying metaphor, understanding what makes a submission stand out, and learning what the story truly wanted to say.Modern Love essays aren’t accidents, they’re built from a bold hook, clear structure, and often, the courage to write through grief. In this episode of Freelance Writing Direct, Estelle Erasmus talks with her student, writer Leslie B....
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#167 Fairyland: A Transcendent Father–Daughter Story Finds New Life in Film with Alysia Abbott
Freelance Writing Direct with Estelle: Conversations with authors, journalists, agents, novelists, memoirists, niche writers, publishers, writing teachers, assigning editors and media experts.
Queer history is family history, and Alysia Abbott’s Fairyland proves how one father-daughter story can illuminate an entire era. In this conversation, Estelle Erasmus talks with Alysia about her acclaimed memoir of growing up with her single gay father in 1970s and 80s San Francisco, and how that memoir found new life as a feature film more than a decade later. In this discussion, they explore the love, art, grief, and legacy at the heart of the story. Alysia shares how her father built a queer literary community long before the internet, and how his journals, letters, poems,...
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#166 How to Write for Electric Literature with Editor-in-Chief Denne Michele Norris (Part 2)
Freelance Writing Direct with Estelle: Conversations with authors, journalists, agents, novelists, memoirists, niche writers, publishers, writing teachers, assigning editors and media experts.
Electric Literature is where emerging writers become working authors—and in this conversation, I’m taking you behind the scenes with Editor-in-Chief Denne Michele Norris (who I spoke with last week about her debut novel) to unpack exactly what they publish, how they edit, the pitches that stand out, the craft mistakes that make editors stop reading, and the kinds of stories they want to run next. Electric Lit’s mission is to make literature more exciting, relevant, and inclusive. Denne explains how that plays out across their digital journal, including The Commuter, Recommended Reading,...
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#165 Giving Every Character Main Character Energy in Your Novel with Denne Michele Norris Part 1
Freelance Writing Direct with Estelle: Conversations with authors, journalists, agents, novelists, memoirists, niche writers, publishers, writing teachers, assigning editors and media experts.
I loved diving into this conversation with Denne Michele Norris, author, and Editor in Chief of Electric Literature. Her insight into writing every character with depth, presence, and main character energy is both generous and deeply human, and this is just Part 1 of our two part discussion. In this illuminating episode, Denne shares the craft behind her stunning debut, When the Harvest Comes, a sweeping queer love story that explores grief, faith, identity, and the transformative power of embracing difference. Stay tuned. Next week, Denne returns to cover what catches her attention as an...
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#164 Writing the Restorative Memoir: Finding Meaning in the Messy Middle of Recovery with Mallary Tenore Tarpley
Freelance Writing Direct with Estelle: Conversations with authors, journalists, agents, novelists, memoirists, niche writers, publishers, writing teachers, assigning editors and media experts.
What if the truest recovery story isn’t about redemption—but restoration? What if healing means learning to live inside the messy middle? Estelle Erasmus talks with journalist and professor Mallary Tenore Tarpley, author of SLIP: Life in the Middle of Eating Disorder Recovery. Mallary shares how she wrote from the in-between—the liminal space between illness and full recovery—crafting a narrative that honors imperfection and progress. Content note: This episode discusses eating...
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#163 Writing the Unresolved Story: Trying and Telling the Unvarnished Truth Featuring Chloé Caldwell
Freelance Writing Direct with Estelle: Conversations with authors, journalists, agents, novelists, memoirists, niche writers, publishers, writing teachers, assigning editors and media experts.
What happens when your life unravels up in the middle of writing your book — your marriage ends, fertility treatments stop, your identity shifts, and you have to rewrite the story you thought you were living? In this episode, Estelle Erasmus interviews acclaimed author Chloe Caldwell about her new book, TRYING, a radically honest, formally innovative memoir about fertility, longing, divorce, sexuality, and choosing yourself. Chloe opens up about writing through infertility, divorce, queerness, and identity, and how her real life reshaped the story she thought she was telling. In this...
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#162 Lessons from the People of Publishing Conference
Freelance Writing Direct with Estelle: Conversations with authors, journalists, agents, novelists, memoirists, niche writers, publishers, writing teachers, assigning editors and media experts.
Ever wonder what’s really happening behind closed doors in the publishing industry? In this solo episode, Estelle Erasmus pulls back the curtain on the People of Publishing Conference, held on September 17, 2025, and hosted by the Association of American Literary Agents (AALA). Featuring top CEOs, editors, and agents, the event revealed key trends, challenges, and opportunities shaping today’s book world. Estelle shares her firsthand insights—including what publishing leaders are prioritizing, how AI is reshaping the industry, and what authors can do to stand out in an evolving...
info_outlineLeslie B. Blanchard joins Freelance Writing Direct for a conversation about developing her Modern Love essay, finding the line that anchored the piece, writing honestly about anticipatory grief, discovering structure through revision, clarifying metaphor, understanding what makes a submission stand out, and learning what the story truly wanted to say.Modern Love essays aren’t accidents, they’re built from a bold hook, clear structure, and often, the courage to write through grief.
In this episode of Freelance Writing Direct, Estelle Erasmus talks with her student, writer Leslie B. Blanchard, about the journey of her New York Times Modern Love essay, “Negotiating the End of Us,” from a quick in-class prompt to publication.
Leslie shares how the opening line “He always said he would die young” became the spine of the piece, and how focusing on the negotiation around death made her grief story stand out in an inbox flooded with loss. As Estelle often teaches her students, the right entry point can transform a personal story into one an editor cannot ignore, and Leslie’s piece is a powerful example of that.
This episode is for writers who want to turn deeply personal material into publishable essays—and need to see exactly how community, revision, and coaching make that possible.
Leslie described our workshop process this way, and her words capture the heart of how this essay developed:
“I truly believe there is a story in all of us that wants to be told. Sometimes it’s just a matter of finding your authentic voice. I recently had the honor of being published in The New York Times Modern Love, which was a life goal. The piece started with a prompt from Estelle Erasmus in her writing class and developed from there as we workshopped every angle together.
What makes this process work is that Estelle gets to know her students in a way that allows her to guide them and help unlock their strongest work. This is the key to crafting an essay that gets noticed in this highly competitive field.”
— Leslie B. Blanchard
In This Episode:
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How a 10-minute classroom exercise grew into a Modern Love essay [2:50]
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Why a specific, original hook is essential when writing about grief [6:21]
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How Leslie found the structure and emotional center of her piece [10:29]
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Craft choices that tightened the piece: cutting digressions, choosing one central metaphor, and having “bargaining” in the final line. [20:07]
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How workshops, careful line edits, community, and supportive coaching can turn a private story into a publishable essay and help a writer trust their voice. [27:47]
About Leslie B. Blanchard
Leslie tackles the complexities of marriage and child-rearing with a transparency that will leave you simultaneously laughing as you brush away tears. She began writing about marriage to her high school sweetheart and life raising 5 children. She’s since added the grief of widowhood, joy of grandchildren and comfort of remarriage to her cache of insights. She’s been interviewed on NPR, spoken at “Listen To Your Mother” and been published in The New York Times’ Modern Love, Next Avenue, Huffington Post, BonBon Break, Today Parenting, Your Teen Magazine and Scary Mommy. She also a collaborated on, “Lose The Cape - It’s a Teen Thing!”
Watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/bxezcEqnWK4
Connect with Leslie
Her Modern Love essay: Negotiating the End of Us: https://www.nytimes.com/2025/10/10/style/modern-love-negotiating-the-end-of-us.html
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/leslieblanchard0408
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/agingersnapped
Twitter: https://twitter.com/Yayamom43Leslie
Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/AGingersnapped
Get More from Estelle
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🎤 Watch: Estelle’s TEDx Talk — How to Get Noticed in Your Writing and Beyond
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📘 Book: Writing That Gets Noticed — named a Poets & Writers “Best Book for Writers.” Audiobook here
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🎧 Listen: Freelance Writing Direct Podcast — 2025 Podcast of the Year (American Writing Awards)
About Estelle
Estelle Erasmus is an award-winning journalist,TEDx Speaker, author of Writing That Gets Noticed, and host of Freelance Writing Direct. A contributing editor for Writer’s Digest and adjunct professor at NYU, her work has appeared in The New York Times, The Washington Post, WIRED, PBS/Next Avenue, The Independent, and AARP The Magazine. She has served as editor-in-chief of five national magazines.
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