323: How to Negotiate Success in Your Work, Relationships and Career with Scott Tillema
Release Date: 02/05/2026
324: Avoiding the Biggest Job Application Mistakes Today
Finding Brave
What if you feel you’re doing everything right in your job search and it’s still not bringing you results? In today’s uncertain market, even highly capable professionals are facing longer searches and lower response rates. On this episode of Finding Brave, we explore what is really happening in today’s hiring landscape and why so many smart and capable professionals are struggling. is one of the founding team members of , an AI-powered resume builder and job search platform. Drawing from analyses of over 1.6 million applications and hundreds of one-on-one coaching conversations, he...
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323: How to Negotiate Success in Your Work, Relationships and Career with Scott Tillema
Finding Brave
Our inspiring podcast guest today, , is an award-winning keynote speaker and negotiation expert who helps leaders navigate difficult conversations with confidence, influence, and trust. Drawing on more than 20 years in law enforcement, including his work as an FBI-trained hostage negotiator and a business negotiator trained through the Harvard University Program on Negotiation, Scott brings rare, real-world insight into what it takes to lead effectively in high-stakes moments. His work focuses on showing leaders how to connect first, influence second, and create outcomes that move people and...
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322: How to Powerfully Market Your Small Business with AI
Finding Brave
Are you using AI to its full potential to meet your marketing, small business, and branding needs? Today’s guest, , is a dynamic speaker, DJ, and marketing expert with nearly twenty years of sales and marketing experience in retail and service industries. His passion for helping small businesses thrive translates into practical guidance on how to leverage AI and freemium apps to create a big impact with your marketing on a small budget. Driven by the belief that people buy from a person before they buy from a brand, his unique approach at helps his clients leverage humor and education to...
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321: How to Be a Likeable Badass
Finding Brave
What if the very traits you’ve been told to soften, like being collaborative or agreeable, are actually essential to your success, not obstacles to it? In this episode of Finding Brave, we explore why so many professionals, especially women, feel trapped between being liked and being respected, and what it really takes to be both. In this episode, Kathy Caprino speaks with , an organizational psychologist, professor at the University of North Carolina Kenan-Flagler Business School, and bestselling author of . Drawing on her extensive research on status, power, negotiation, and influence,...
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320: Be Yourself at Work: Show Up, Stand Out, and Lead from the Heart
Finding Brave
What does it really mean to be yourself at work without hiding, performing, or shrinking to fit expectations? In this Finding Brave conversation, we explore why authentic presence is not a soft skill or a personal indulgence, but a powerful leadership practice that builds trust, connection, and impact in today’s fast-moving, emotionally complex workplaces. Today’s inspiring guest is , the world’s first Chief Heart Officer at VaynerX, where she partners with CEO Gary Vaynerchuk to shape culture and leadership at scale. A sought-after speaker and the author of , Claude brings a...
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319: A Talent for Giving: Creating a More Generous Society for All
Finding Brave
The world around us has transformed dramatically—but has philanthropy kept up? For our Finding Brave guest today, , American-British investor and humanitarian and the author of the new book , this question isn't academic—it's deeply personal. His philanthropic journey began humbly, volunteering at a soup kitchen as a teenager. Today, he's recognized globally for transformative work addressing homelessness through London's Passage Day Centre and championing emerging artists through the . In the U.S., he serves on the boards of The J. Paul Getty Trust, St. Patrick's Cathedral, and the...
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318: How Organizations Need to Change Their Narrative In Challenging Times
Finding Brave
Everybody wants to believe in something, but the truth is, if you're a leader who shies away from asking tough questions, you're making it harder for people to believe in you. In this Finding Brave episode, we are joined by , known as the Rapid Growth Guy and storytelling expert responsible for five multi-million dollar business success stories. He is the author of and has been featured in Forbes and listed by Global Gurus as one of the Top 30 Sales Professionals. In this conversation, we explore what it truly means to lead through authentic, compelling story, not spin. Matthew unpacks how...
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317: How to Attract Great Investors For Your Products and Business
Finding Brave
Protecting your ideas is a critical step for attracting excellent aligned investors. In this episode of Finding Brave, I sit down with intellectual property expert and attorney , senior partner at , to demystify what it really takes to secure funding and safeguard innovation. Drawing on his extensive experience helping inventors, entrepreneurs, and creative professionals, David shares how a strong IP strategy serves as both protection and proof of your business’s credibility. A registered patent attorney and professor at Temple University, Parsons School of Design, and Radzyner Law School,...
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316: Taking the Brave Leap to Live Your Life Purpose
Finding Brave
Why would someone walk away from a lucrative, 15-year career in software engineering? For , it came down to one thing: learning to prioritize the "spirit mind" over the "material mind.” That perspective shift gave him the inner clarity—and the bravery and courage—to finally move into a life and career of deeper purpose. Jeffrey is a spiritual teacher and energy healer whose work has empowered thousands of people, through ’s Healing Programs and through his own courses, trainings and years of individual and group work with thousands of people around the globe. His mission is to make...
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315: FAWNING: Why the Need to Please Makes Us Lose Ourselves
Finding Brave
On the surface, you may look like the model employee, partner, or friend: always dependable, always agreeable. But beneath the surface, you may be carrying a lifetime of survival strategies that keep you invisible in your own life. This is the story knows both personally and professionally, and it’s the story she helps so many of us begin to rewrite. Dr. Ingrid Clayton is a licensed clinical psychologist with advanced degrees in transpersonal and clinical psychology. She has maintained a thriving private practice for more than fifteen years and writes the popular Psychology Today blog, ,...
info_outlineOur inspiring podcast guest today, Scott Tillema, is an award-winning keynote speaker and negotiation expert who helps leaders navigate difficult conversations with confidence, influence, and trust. Drawing on more than 20 years in law enforcement, including his work as an FBI-trained hostage negotiator and a business negotiator trained through the Harvard University Program on Negotiation, Scott brings rare, real-world insight into what it takes to lead effectively in high-stakes moments. His work focuses on showing leaders how to connect first, influence second, and create outcomes that move people and businesses forward.
In this episode, Scott unpacks the psychology behind negotiation and human connection through four key factors: understanding, timing, delivery, and respect. He shares how his early life, career in law enforcement, and deep study of human behavior shaped his approach, why judgment blocks connection, and how problem-solving can sometimes stand in the way of true empathy.
We also explore what bad leadership can teach us, why influence is a learnable skill, and why we should never forget that connection is at the very heart of influence. Join us for an eye-opening conversation about how to harness the influence you may not even know you have to change the world for the better.
Key Highlights From This Episode:
- Scott’s beginnings in hostage negotiations from studying psychology and working in law enforcement. [04:45]
- How his childhood and early adult experiences shaped his curiosity about what drives people. [06:53]
- How judgment acts as a barrier to connection and ultimately negotiation. [11:20]
- Four factors of negotiation: understanding, timing, delivery, and respect. [17:03]
- Why it is truly possible for anyone to become a strong verbal influencer. [21:32]
- What we can learn from bad leadership and the mistakes they make along the way. [26:12]
- Why problem-solving creates a barrier to true empathy. [31:02]
- A final word of encouragement about the influence you might not know you have. [44:55]
For More Information:
Scott Tillema
Scott Tillema on Instagram
Scott Tillema on LinkedIn
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
Scott Tillema’s TEDx Talk
The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People
Alison Fragale’s episode on Finding Brave
Alison Fragale’s book, Likeable Badass
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Quotes:
“Crisis isn’t reserved for the SWAT team. We’re all experiencing this in our teams, in our organizations, in our families. So these techniques and structures that I’ve learned in these life or death conversations are so needed and so interesting to people outside of the law enforcement lane.” — Scott Tillema [0:06:03]
“Influence begins with connection and connection begins with a dialogue, and the block to dialogue and the block to connection is judgment.” — Scott Tillema [0:11:25]
“So often we think about what we’re going to say, and if we’re really elite we think about how we’re going to say it, but rarely does anybody give consideration to the right time to deliver the message.” — Scott Tillema [0:17:50]
“We all have the power to be incredible verbal influencers.” — Scott Tillema [0:22:51]
“The enemy of empathy is problem-solving.” — Scott Tillema [0:32:16]
“Leadership is going to take courage.” — Scott Tillema [0:35:42]
“Crisis isn’t reserved for the SWAT team. We’re all experiencing this in our teams, in our organizations, in our families. So these techniques and structures that I’ve learned in these life or death conversations are so needed and so interesting to people outside of the law enforcement lane.” — Scott Tillema [0:06:03]
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