How to Actually Be There When You're With Your Kids featuring Joe Bailey

This is a Wednesday Wins Q&A, with Larry joined by his longtime co-host and friend of nearly a decade, Joe Bailey. The two open up about the Bible study they've been doing together before digging into two listener questions that hit at the heart of hands-on fatherhood.

First, Steve asks how to prepare his three year old daughter for a new baby sister arriving in a few weeks, and how to keep the first child feeling seen. Then Brad from Florida sends in a question that lands hard: his wife says that even when he's home, he's not really there, and his 11 year old recently cut off a story with "never mind, dad, you're not listening anyway." Larry and Joe get practical on capacity for love, protecting margin, and the exact tools they use to actually be present. If you've ever been physically home but mentally somewhere else, this one is for you.

 

Timeline Summary

[1:02] – Larry and Joe celebrate nearly a decade of friendship and their ongoing Bible study

[3:09] – Steve's question: transitioning a three year old into big sister life

[4:57] – The fear of not having enough love to go around, and why it's unfounded

[5:19] – The Love and Logic lesson: what a new sibling feels like to a toddler

[7:05] – Kids spell love T-I-M-E, and why one on one time matters most

[9:36] – Joe on quality over quantity once you can't match the same hours

[11:39] – Becoming a subject matter expert in whatever your kid is into

[13:03] – Inviting the older child into the role of big sister without pressure

[14:14] – Watching for behavioral cues before jealousy goes full fledged

[14:34] – Being depth on the bench for your wife and beating the guilt monster

[15:37] – Larry's chapter on raising daughters and leaning on Meg Meeker's work

[16:26] – Chris Berry's daddy-daughter dates and setting the standard sky high

[18:01] – Why three years old isn't too early to start dating your daughter

[19:19] – Brad's question: present in body, absent in mind

[21:03] – Why perception is reality when your family feels you're not there

[22:16] – The name cue: teaching your family to signal when they need you fully

[23:26] – Being relentless about creating margin and hard stops for work

[25:24] – Larry on notifications as the window that steals your presence

[25:43] – The Gary John Bishop river metaphor for the past, present, and future

[28:28] – Larry's Full Presence Training and grounding through the five senses

[31:07] – Joe on great expectancy with no expectations

 

5 Key Takeaways

1. Your Capacity for Love Isn't Fixed — Every parent fears they can't love a second child as much as the first. Both hosts describe the same surprise each time: a fresh reserve of love shows up that you didn't know you had.
2. Quality Beats Quantity — With more kids, you simply can't give each one the same number of hours. Get intentional instead: enter your child's world, learn what they love, and make the time you do have count.
3. Perception Is Reality — You may feel like you're present and carrying the load, but if your wife and kids experience you as checked out, that's the reality you have to address. Validating their experience comes before defending your own.
4. Protect Margin With Hard Stops — Decide when work starts and when it ends, and hold the line even when customers call at night. Give your family a simple cue, like saying your name, that signals you'll drop everything and give full attention.
5. Ground Yourself in the Five Senses — When your mind drifts to the past or the future, you miss the present entirely. Deliberately noticing what you see, hear, feel, and smell in a moment with your kids pulls you fully into it.

 

Links & Resources

• Episode page and all links: https://thedadedge.com/1513
• Dad Edge Day with the Arizona Cardinals (November 15, Cardinals vs Rams, State Farm Stadium): https://thedadedge.com/nfl
• Meg Meeker episode: https://thedadedge.com/meg-meeker/
• Roommates to soulmates thedadedge.com/soulmates

 

Enjoyed This Episode?

If Brad's question hit a nerve, or if you've got a new sibling on the way like Steve, take one idea from this episode and put it to work this week. Set a hard stop on work tonight, or ground yourself in the five senses the next time your kid is talking to you. If the show keeps delivering, follow, rate, and leave a review so more fathers can find these conversations.