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70. Loneliness & the Importance of Relationships with Dr. Amy Banks

The Highly Sensitive Person Podcast

Release Date: 10/16/2016

Ep. 74: Podcast Update! show art Ep. 74: Podcast Update!

The Highly Sensitive Person Podcast

It’s been a while since there was a new podcast episode! In this episode, I give a brief update on what’s going on with the show!

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73. Dealing with houseguests show art 73. Dealing with houseguests

The Highly Sensitive Person Podcast

A while ago, I received a listener request to do an episode about dealing with people staying at your house--houseguests. Here it is!

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72. Interview with Susan Cain, author of Quiet show art 72. Interview with Susan Cain, author of Quiet

The Highly Sensitive Person Podcast

When I started this podcast, my #1 dream guest was Susan Cain. So, I'm very happy to bring this episode to you today. Susan's 2012 book,  was my first introduction to introversion. The book changed my life (and thousands of others worldwide) because it changed how I saw myself. It was through learning about introversion that I learned about high sensitivity; I wouldn't be typing this to you today without her book as the inception. More about Susan Cain: Susan is the co-founder of , a site that features advice and stories for introverts and extroverts alike on how...

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71. The Highly Sensitive Podcaster with Andy Mort show art 71. The Highly Sensitive Podcaster with Andy Mort

The Highly Sensitive Person Podcast

Today's episode features Andy Mort of the (formerly known as the Sheep Dressed like Wolves podcast). We talk about what it's like to be a Highly Sensitive Person and a podcaster. (He interviewed me on his show recently, too: !) Some of the topics covered in this episode include: receiving negative feedback, making money, and tips for people who want to start their own show. You can get in touch with Andy on , , , and find Looking for a Community for HSPs? As mentioned in this episode, Andy's HSP community, The Haven, is open for registration from Nov. 4-10, 2016. The Haven is a private...

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70. Loneliness & the Importance of Relationships with Dr. Amy Banks show art 70. Loneliness & the Importance of Relationships with Dr. Amy Banks

The Highly Sensitive Person Podcast

Recently someone posted this question in the introvert subreddit on reddit: "How to deal with half wanting new friends and half wanting to be a hermit?"   I hear and read questions like this all the time from introverts and introverted HSPs. We cherish being alone, and then sometimes wonder if we can get along without worrying about having relationships. After all, relationships are time consuming, difficult, and can be painful.   But then we often realize that we cannot exist alone. It might seem easier to avoid relationships, but it is bad for our mental and physical health....

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69. Curious about Meditation? show art 69. Curious about Meditation?

The Highly Sensitive Person Podcast

This episode is for those who have never tried meditation, are curious about it, or who have tried it but felt like they didn't "get" it. Meditation has helped me a lot over the past year. There was a time when I didn't think I could do it. I didn't understand what meditation was and whether I was doing it "right". I hope to reach other people, like me, who didn't think meditation would work for them. I hope this will inspire you to give it another try, because it can be rewarding. My favorite meditation apps:  by Gaiam Want to support the podcast? If you enjoy my...

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68. Self-realizations from a few years of knowing I'm an HSP show art 68. Self-realizations from a few years of knowing I'm an HSP

The Highly Sensitive Person Podcast

Discovering the concept of high sensitivity and learning you are a Highly Sensitive Person can be a major life moment for some people. It was for me! Now that I've been living with this knowledge for a few years (and learning more all the time!), I reflected in this episode on some positive realizations I've had about myself since learning I'm an HSP. Making this list felt really good; I hope it may serve as a prompt to consider your own experiences. How has your life changed since learning about HSPs?   Want to support the podcast? If you enjoy my podcast and , if you...

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67. A view of HSPs from a non-HSP: interview with Al Motter show art 67. A view of HSPs from a non-HSP: interview with Al Motter

The Highly Sensitive Person Podcast

Today's guest, Al Motter, is one of the hosts of the excellent He's the "Introvert" out of the two hosts, but he doesn't have the trait of high sensitivity.   In this episode, Al talks about how he sometimes wishes he was more sensitive, and how a recent bout of medication gave him a few weeks of heightened sensitivity--resulting in some fascinating insights into our world. H   is perspective, as an outsider to the HSP world, can help HSPs see the larger picture: there ARE a lot of great things about being able to feel deeply!   He also talks about tutoring crying...

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66. The worst places on earth for HSPs show art 66. The worst places on earth for HSPs

The Highly Sensitive Person Podcast

Overstimulation. Noise, chaos, bright lights, smells, crowds. These are the highly sensitive person's kryptonite. I've brainstormed a list of what I think are the worst places on earth for HSPs. This episode is a little different than most—this isn’t advice, or a serious topic. It is sort of tongue-in-cheek, a little sarcastic, and even a bit silly. It’s more about pondering all the things that set off HSPs and then thinking which places have a lot of those things. So, disclaimer: don’t take this too seriously. Not everyone will agree with this list.   **NEWS** 1. In the...

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65. Narcissists & Highly Sensitive People show art 65. Narcissists & Highly Sensitive People

The Highly Sensitive Person Podcast

Did you know that highly sensitive people and narcissists tend to be attracted to each other? I've welcomed Nikki Eisenhauer onto the show today to discuss what a narcissist is and why HSPs can be drawn to people with narcissistic personality disorder. I think it's important for HSPs to be aware of this topic so they can identify and deal with harmful relationships. Nikki is an engaging guest and does a great job of explaining this topic in a digestible way. She is a licensed professional counselor (LPC), chemical dependency counselor (LCDC),...

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More Episodes

Recently someone posted this question in the introvert subreddit on reddit: "How to deal with half wanting new friends and half wanting to be a hermit?"

 

I hear and read questions like this all the time from introverts and introverted HSPs. We cherish being alone, and then sometimes wonder if we can get along without worrying about having relationships. After all, relationships are time consuming, difficult, and can be painful.

 

But then we often realize that we cannot exist alone. It might seem easier to avoid relationships, but it is bad for our mental and physical health. Humans were built to need and thrive on connection with others.

 

A Vice.com interview with Amy Banks, PhD, titled, "An Expert Explains Why You Feel So Lonely All the Time" really piqued my interest in this topic. I loved Dr. Banks' scientific explanation of why having quality relationships is so important.

 

Dr. Banks was an instructor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School and is now the Director of Advanced Training at Jean Baker Miller Training Institute at the Wellesley Centers for Women. Her newest book is called Wired to Connect: The Surprising Link Between Brain Science and Strong, Healthy Relationships.

On this episode, we talk about:

  • The health impact of loneliness and disconnection
  • Why American society values the "do-it-alone" mindset so strongly
  • The dopamine reward system and relationships
  • Online bullying
  • How a boss or manager can use good relationships to improve the workplace
  • Connections with animals
  • And....communism?!? (Note: communism is discussed simply for the concept of community vs. individualism. We are not saying we want to live in a communist society!)

Amy recommends that those looking to improve their relationships first take her free Relational Assessment. You can get in touch with Amy on Twitter, Facebook, and check out her column on Psychology Today: Wired to Love Other books recommended by Dr. Banks in this episode:

 

Want to support the podcast?

If you enjoy my podcast and blog, if you find it helpful, uplifting, or entertaining, that's awesome! Would you consider giving just $1 per episode? Check out my Patreon page to see how it works. A special thank you to Gloria, the newest supporter!

Podcast music attribution: Bust This Bust That (Professor Kliq) / CC BY-NC-SA 3.0