357. The Secret To Supporting Your People In The Most Awesome Way

I think a lot about how I can best show up and be there for my people.  My family and closest friends… my inner circle.  I want to be very intentional about how I support them.

I realized something recently that I hadn’t pin pointed in this way before.

And one of the greatest gifts you can give them isn’t advice…

It isn’t solving all of their problems…

It’s belief.

I think that’s what every single person is really looking for.

Someone who believes in them.

Someone who’s in their corner.

Someone who genuinely wants to see them win.

Today we are talking about believing in your people sometimes even more than they believe in themselves.

I honestly think that’s what so many people are longing for.

To know someone sees something in them they can’t quite see yet.

Sometimes people just need to borrow someone else’s belief until they build their own confidence.

It looks like this… someone you love says

“I have a huge presentation tomorrow.”

Instead of…

“Oh man… that’s stressful.”

Smile and say…

“Good thing you’re one of the best presenters I know.”

It’s belief in what they are doing and what they care about.  By shifting our responses to belief statements, I think we can completely change how people feel after spending time with us.




This is the reframe… when you’re in a situation with someone you love and you’re responding to what they have doing on or what they told you about… tell yourself… how can I show how much I believe in them?

I think 99% of the time that’s what they actually need and want to hear.

Let’s look at some examples.

**Starting a business
They say:
“I’ve been thinking about starting my own business.”

Standard response:
“Just be careful… most businesses fail.”

Your belief statement:
“If anyone can figure this out, it’s you. I know it will work because you don’t stop until things do."

**Child Before A Big Game

They say:
“I’m nervous about my game.”

Standard response:
“Don’t be nervous.”

Your belief statement:
“Good thing you’re the kind of person who plays their best when it matters. I can’t wait to watch you.”


**Tough Day At Work

They say:
“I don’t know if I’m doing a good job.”

Standard response:
“I’m sure you’re fine.”

Your belief statement:
“I’ve watched you solve harder problems than this. I have complete confidence that you’ll figure this out too.”


**Trying Something New

They say:
“I’ve never done anything like this before.”

Standard response:
“Well… just try your best.”

Your belief statement:
“Every expert was once doing something for the first time. I think you’re going to surprise yourself.”


**Your Spouse Feeling Overwhelmed

They say:
“I don’t know how I’m going to get everything done.”

Standard response:
“Yeah… you’ve got a lot on your plate.”

Your belief statement:
“I know it feels like a lot, but you’re one of the most capable people I know. And we’re a team—we’ll figure it out together.”





Let’s lean into these 4 types of belief statements

1. Believe in their ability

“You’ve got this.”
“You’re ready.”
“I trust you.”
“You can handle this.”
“You’re really good at this.”

2. Believe in their character

“You’re incredibly resilient.”
“You’re wiser than you think.”
“You’re a great leader.”
“You’re one of the kindest people I know.”
“You’re built for hard things.”

3. Believe in their future

“I can’t wait to see what you do.”
“You’re just getting started.”
“This is going to be part of your success story.”
“Your future is bright.”
“Big things are ahead.”

4. Believe in them when they can’t

“I’ll believe in you until you believe in yourself.”
“I see something special in you.”
“I wish you could see yourself through my eyes.”
“Don’t count yourself out.”
“I haven’t lost confidence in you for one second.”



Imagine if the people in your life consistently heard responses like these.

Imagine how your spouse would walk into work.

How your kids would walk into school.

How your friends would chase bigger dreams.

How much more courage they would have simply because they know there’s someone in their corner who believes in them.

You can’t control every outcome for the people you love.

But you can control what they hear from you.

And maybe the greatest gift you can give someone isn’t having all the answers…

Maybe it’s helping them believe they already have what it takes.



The reframe…

Before you respond to someone…

Pause for just one second and ask yourself:

“What response would make this person feel more capable?”

Not more dependent.

Not just more comfortable.

More capable.

Then respond from that place.

Because the best supporters don’t just make people feel better.

They make people become better.

And maybe that’s one of the greatest gifts we can ever give the people we love.