129. How Executive Women Can Break the Silence and Save Their Relationships with Colette Jane Fehr
Release Date: 04/22/2026
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129. How Executive Women Can Break the Silence and Save Their Relationships with Colette Jane Fehr
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info_outlineYou can command a boardroom and still go quiet where it matters most. In this powerful conversation, Kimberly sits down with licensed marriage and family therapist and author Colette Jane Fehr to talk about the one thing most of us never saw coming — that silence, not conflict, is what slowly destroys relationships. Colette's new book, The Cost of Quiet, is a timely guide for anyone who has ever kept the peace at the expense of their own voice, and this episode gets deeply personal fast.
We're going deep on:
- Why "keeping the peace" is actually a form of relationship self-abandonment — and how avoidant behavior shows up in ways that have nothing to do with being quiet
- The science of resentment and what it reveals about what you're actually allowing in your relationship
- How high-achieving professional women can advocate fiercely at work but go completely silent at home — and the attachment wiring behind why
- The 24-hour rule for conflict resolution and why coming back matters more than coming back perfectly
- What "Good Girl-itis" is, how it gets conditioned into us, and what it costs us physically, emotionally, and relationally
In This Episode:
- Colette shares the personal experience — including her own divorce — that shaped the framework behind The Cost of Quiet
- Kimberly opens up about her own patterns of self-silencing and the physical toll her first marriage took on her health
- The practical "start small" method Colette gives her clients for learning to speak up when silence has been the default for years
- Why resentment is actually misdirected anger — and how turning the lens back on yourself is the most empowering move you can make
- The Gottman research on what healthy couples actually do when they fight (hint: it's not about fighting less)
- Why high-performing women often retreat into "survival mode" at home and how to interrupt that cycle before the dirty laundry piles up
- Colette's reminder that speaking up is a muscle — and the more you use it, the stronger and more natural it becomes
Stay in touch with Colette: https://www.colettejanefehr.com/ or https://colettejanefehr.substack.com/
Subscribe to the Insider Notes Newsletter: https://bit.ly/YNMNewsletter
Get on the waitlist for next cohort of The Visibility Shift: https://kimberlybonline.com/waitlist
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