Abandoning Your Emotional Needs in Relationships | Mid Week Tease
Release Date: 01/28/2026
Maybe You’re Not Delusional | Mid Week Tease
Legally Clueless
What if you’re not unrealistic… What if you’re remembering what’s possible? In this week’s Mid Week Tease, I unpack something that stopped me in my tracks during my conversation with Natasha Ali on Difference She Makes. She said, almost laughing, “I think I’m a little delusional.” But what if that “delusion” is actually optimism bias? What if it’s self-efficacy? What if it’s the power of possible selves? In this episode, we explore: Why representation recalibrates what feels possible The psychology behind optimism bias (and why it helps women take bold...
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Period Pain Was Ruining My Life PART 1 | Legally Clueless Ep 365
Legally Clueless
For years, Keziah Mumbi was told her pain was “normal.” At 12 years old, she began experiencing extremely heavy periods, severe cramps, vomiting, fainting, and anemia. She was going through an entire pack of pads a day. She stained her school uniform. She was sedated from pain. She missed classes. She lost jobs. And still doctors told her: “You’re too young to have endometriosis.” “It’s just hormones.” “Every woman gets cramps.” “It will stop after you have a baby.” In Part 1 of this powerful story on the Legally Clueless Podcast, Keziah shares what it was like to...
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Stop Shrinking Yourself: Why Women Downplay Their Power & How to Expand Anyway | Mid Week Tease
Legally Clueless
Are you shrinking yourself to feel safer, more lovable, less intimidating? In this episode of The Mid Week Tease, Adelle reflects on the quiet ways women, especially African women, make themselves smaller in their careers, relationships, and ambitions. Inspired by her recent conversation with Ruth Tanui on Difference She Makes, this episode explores: The psychology behind the confidence gap Why women hesitate to apply even when qualified The social conditioning that teaches girls to be excellent but not intimidating The myth of “scaring men away” with success How to build confidence by...
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From Grief To Laughter PART 2 | Legally Clueless Ep 364
Legally Clueless
In Episode 364 of the Legally Clueless Podcast, Kenyan stand-up comedian Rahab Kihuha shares Part 2 of her story, a powerful continuation that explores sobriety, motherhood, womanhood in male-dominated spaces, and what it truly means to heal holistically. In this episode, Rahab reflects on navigating the comedy industry as a woman, performing while pregnant, confronting patriarchy on and off stage, and choosing sobriety as an act of self-preservation. She opens up about becoming a mother, finding community, re-learning how to feed her mind and spirit, and arriving at a place of deep...
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She Built Her Own Law Firm After a Toxic System Tried to Break Her | Difference She Makes
Legally Clueless
In this episode of Difference She Makes, we explore how professional excellence becomes a quiet but powerful form of resistance inside deeply gendered institutions. Our guest, Ruth Tanui, is an Advocate of the High Court of Kenya and the Founder and Managing Partner of Tanui & Company Advocates. Through her journey, from navigating hostile work environments to building her own law firm, Ruth shows us how competence, credibility, and consistency can reshape institutional culture from the inside. This conversation goes beyond representation. It asks harder questions about pay inequity,...
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Why Treating Yourself Is Essential For Emotional Wellbeing | Mid Week Tease
Legally Clueless
What if “treating yourself” isn’t indulgence but a psychological necessity? In this week’s Mid Week Tease, Adelle reflects on how she’s learned to intentionally place joy into her life, especially around birthdays. From solo stays by the pool with poetry and silence, to beach days and bicycle tours, this episode explores why joy deserves to be planned, not postponed. Drawing from personal ritual and psychology-backed research, Adelle unpacks why joy plays a critical role in emotional regulation, resilience, and healing, particularly for women who have been conditioned to survive...
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From Grief To Laughter PART 1 | Legally Clueless Ep 363
Legally Clueless
In Episode 363 of the Legally Clueless Podcast, Kenyan stand-up comedian Rahab Kihuha shares Part 1 of her powerful story, a deeply honest journey through grief, addiction, mental health struggles, and the unexpected role comedy played in her survival. Rahab opens up about losing her father, using alcohol to cope with pain, feeling emotionally unseen, and how stepping onto a comedy stage for the first time helped her transform shame into laughter. What began as a way to numb pain slowly became a form of healing and a path toward purpose. This episode explores: Grief and how it shows up in the...
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Why Workplace Policies Matter: Power, Silence & Justice for Women | Difference She Makes
Legally Clueless
In this episode of Difference She Makes, we turn our focus to policies, the internal rules that determine whether institutions protect people in practice or only on paper. Adelle Onyango is joined by Zikhona Ndlebe, a South Africa–based judicial governance expert who has worked at the heart of policy reform within the legal system. Zikhona helps us understand why policies are not just administrative tools, but powerful mechanisms that shape culture, accountability, and safety, especially for women. This conversation unpacks how sexual misconduct has long existed in legal institutions even...
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Postpartum Panic Attacks, Body Changes & Learning to Start Again | For Mannerless Women
Legally Clueless
Pregnancy and postpartum don’t just change a woman’s body they change her mind, her strength, and her sense of self. In this episode of For Mannerless Women, Adelle Onyango is joined by Winnie Okoth, elite CrossFit and Olympic weightlifting athlete and coach, for an honest conversation about postpartum realities we rarely prepare women for. Winnie shares her personal experience navigating: Postpartum panic attacks and mental health struggles Grieving the body and strength she once had Training, coaching, and showing up while feeling disconnected from her body Postpartum injuries women are...
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Postpartum Panic Attacks, Body Changes & Learning to Start Again | For Mannerless Women
Legally Clueless
Pregnancy and postpartum don’t just change a woman’s body they change her mind, her strength, and her sense of self. In this episode of For Mannerless Women, Adelle Onyango is joined by Winnie Okoth, elite CrossFit and Olympic weightlifting athlete and coach, for an honest conversation about postpartum realities we rarely prepare women for. Winnie shares her personal experience navigating: Postpartum panic attacks and mental health struggles Grieving the body and strength she once had Training, coaching, and showing up while feeling disconnected from her body Postpartum injuries women are...
info_outlineThey struggle because they’ve learned to abandon their emotional needs to keep connection. In this episode of Mid Week Tease, we explore the quiet, often invisible ways women self-silence in romantic relationships, friendships, and family not because they lack needs, but because expressing them once felt unsafe. This conversation unpacks emotional self-abandonment, where it comes from, how it shows up across relationships, and the psychological cost of constantly choosing harmony over honesty. Drawing from attachment theory, trauma-informed psychology, and family systems theory, this episode offers both language and tools for women who are tired of disappearing to be loved.
- What emotional self-abandonment actually looks like
- Why many women minimise, over-give, or stay silent in relationships
- How early attachment patterns shape emotional self-silencing
- Emotional labour and the pressure to be “low maintenance”
- The role family systems play in teaching women to shrink
- The long-term effects of abandoning your emotional needs
- Practical tools to begin expressing needs without shame
- Attachment theory (John Bowlby)
- Trauma-informed understanding of emotional suppression (Gabor Maté)
- Family systems & differentiation (Murray Bowen)
- The True Self vs False Self (Donald Winnicott)
- Where do I silence myself to preserve connection?
- Whose comfort do I prioritise over my emotional truth?
- What do I need not what will keep the peace?
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