Legally Clueless
Legally Clueless is a weekly podcast by Kenyan media personality Adelle Onyango! Here, she documents her raw human journey as an evolving unapologetically African woman. It is also a space where Africans share stories from their lives; stories that teach, make us cry, make us laugh - real, authentic African stories. The #LegallyClueless hotline is +254768628790
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Maybe You’re Not Delusional | Mid Week Tease
02/18/2026
Maybe You’re Not Delusional | Mid Week Tease
What if you’re not unrealistic… What if you’re remembering what’s possible? In this week’s Mid Week Tease, I unpack something that stopped me in my tracks during my conversation with Natasha Ali on Difference She Makes. She said, almost laughing, “I think I’m a little delusional.” But what if that “delusion” is actually optimism bias? What if it’s self-efficacy? What if it’s the power of possible selves? In this episode, we explore: Why representation recalibrates what feels possible The psychology behind optimism bias (and why it helps women take bold risks) How to use the concept of “possible selves” to move toward your future The difference between impostor syndrome and audacious belief Why community is essential when your confidence is still forming This is a reflective, psychology-backed conversation for any woman who has ever been told she’s too ambitious, too unrealistic, or dreaming too big. Maybe you’re not delusional. Maybe your belief is data. Join the Legally Clueless Africa community: Newsletter: Instagram: TikTok: YouTube: Share your story: forms.gle/kMn7Wae5N563JFGQ8 #MidWeekTease #LegallyCluelessAfrica #AfricanWomen #WomenInLeadership #SelfBelief #OptimismBias #ImpostorSyndrome
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Period Pain Was Ruining My Life PART 1 | Legally Clueless Ep 365
02/15/2026
Period Pain Was Ruining My Life PART 1 | Legally Clueless Ep 365
For years, Keziah Mumbi was told her pain was “normal.” At 12 years old, she began experiencing extremely heavy periods, severe cramps, vomiting, fainting, and anemia. She was going through an entire pack of pads a day. She stained her school uniform. She was sedated from pain. She missed classes. She lost jobs. And still doctors told her: “You’re too young to have endometriosis.” “It’s just hormones.” “Every woman gets cramps.” “It will stop after you have a baby.” In Part 1 of this powerful story on the Legally Clueless Podcast, Keziah shares what it was like to grow up with undiagnosed endometriosis, navigating period shame, medical gaslighting, workplace discrimination, and years of debilitating pain without answers. This episode explores: Severe period pain and when it’s NOT normal Signs and symptoms of endometriosis Heavy menstrual bleeding & anemia Being dismissed by doctors How chronic illness affects school, work, and relationships The emotional toll of living in constant pain Listen & Subscribe: We’re available on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, YouTube, Amazon Music, Gaana and more. Join Our Community: Newsletter signup: Instagram: TikTok: YouTube: Share your story: forms.gle/kMn7Wae5N563JFGQ8 If this episode resonated with you, share it with a sister, friend, colleague, or partner. These conversations save women years of silent suffering. #LegallyCluelessAfrica #EndometriosisAwareness #PeriodHealth #AfricanWomen #WomenAndHealth
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Stop Shrinking Yourself: Why Women Downplay Their Power & How to Expand Anyway | Mid Week Tease
02/11/2026
Stop Shrinking Yourself: Why Women Downplay Their Power & How to Expand Anyway | Mid Week Tease
Are you shrinking yourself to feel safer, more lovable, less intimidating? In this episode of The Mid Week Tease, Adelle reflects on the quiet ways women, especially African women, make themselves smaller in their careers, relationships, and ambitions. Inspired by her recent conversation with Ruth Tanui on Difference She Makes, this episode explores: The psychology behind the confidence gap Why women hesitate to apply even when qualified The social conditioning that teaches girls to be excellent but not intimidating The myth of “scaring men away” with success How to build confidence by acting before you feel ready Practical mindset shifts to stop downplaying your power Drawing on research from Albert Bandura on self-efficacy, social psychology studies on the backlash effect, and insights from thinkers like Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie and Warsan Shire, this episode invites you to examine where you may be shrinking and what expansion could look like instead. If you have ever: Downplayed your title Softened your ambition Hidden your success Hesitated to apply Made yourself smaller to feel safer This conversation is for you. You do not have to shrink to be chosen. You do not have to dim to be loved. You are allowed to expand. Watch Difference She Makes featuring Ruth Tanui here: https://youtu.be/1DBpamU6VXQ Join the Legally Clueless Africa community: Newsletter signup: Instagram: TikTok: YouTube: Share your story: forms.gle/kMn7Wae5N563JFGQ8
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From Grief To Laughter PART 2 | Legally Clueless Ep 364
02/09/2026
From Grief To Laughter PART 2 | Legally Clueless Ep 364
In Episode 364 of the Legally Clueless Podcast, Kenyan stand-up comedian Rahab Kihuha shares Part 2 of her story, a powerful continuation that explores sobriety, motherhood, womanhood in male-dominated spaces, and what it truly means to heal holistically. In this episode, Rahab reflects on navigating the comedy industry as a woman, performing while pregnant, confronting patriarchy on and off stage, and choosing sobriety as an act of self-preservation. She opens up about becoming a mother, finding community, re-learning how to feed her mind and spirit, and arriving at a place of deep self-acceptance. This conversation dives into: Sobriety and recovery as a daily practice The connection between addiction and disconnection Motherhood as a grounding and transformative experience Patriarchy and gendered expectations in comedy Healing through community, creativity, and presence Choosing a life you no longer want to escape from This is a story about freedom, freedom of expression, freedom from self-abandonment, and the quiet power of liking your own life. If you haven’t listened to Part 1 of Rahab’s story, we recommend starting there before this episode. 🔗 Connect With Legally Clueless Africa 💌 Sign up for our newsletter: 👉 📸 Follow us on Instagram: 👉 🎵 Follow us on TikTok: 👉 📺 Subscribe on YouTube: 👉 📝 Share your story with us: 👉 forms.gle/kMn7Wae5N563JFGQ8 About Legally Clueless Legally Clueless is a podcast and community amplifying African women’s stories around healing, identity, mental wellness, creativity, relationships, and self-discovery, one honest conversation at a time.
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She Built Her Own Law Firm After a Toxic System Tried to Break Her | Difference She Makes
02/08/2026
She Built Her Own Law Firm After a Toxic System Tried to Break Her | Difference She Makes
In this episode of Difference She Makes, we explore how professional excellence becomes a quiet but powerful form of resistance inside deeply gendered institutions. Our guest, Ruth Tanui, is an Advocate of the High Court of Kenya and the Founder and Managing Partner of Tanui & Company Advocates. Through her journey, from navigating hostile work environments to building her own law firm, Ruth shows us how competence, credibility, and consistency can reshape institutional culture from the inside. This conversation goes beyond representation. It asks harder questions about pay inequity, toxic leadership, confidence gaps, and the invisible rules women are expected to follow at work and what it takes to unlearn them. In this episode, we explore: • Why excellence, not just access, determines who is trusted and promoted • How toxic law firm cultures push women to shrink, self-doubt, or exit • The unspoken ways gender bias shows up in hiring, pay, and client trust • What it looks like to build a fair, human-centered law firm culture • Why culture often shifts faster in corridors than in courtrooms Ruth also reflects on the traditions she had to unlearn, the confidence she had to reclaim, and how mentorship and community sustain women navigating male-dominated professions. Before you watch, we want to hear from you: Where do you think culture shifts faster in the courtroom, in the corridors of institutions, or in everyday conversations? Share your thoughts in the comments. Difference She Makes is a six-part series exploring how African women are transforming justice, leadership, and power not just through policy, but through lived experience. Subscribe to the channel to catch the next episode, where we widen the lens to explore how mentorship, sponsorship, and solidarity sustain progress across generations of women.
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Why Treating Yourself Is Essential For Emotional Wellbeing | Mid Week Tease
02/03/2026
Why Treating Yourself Is Essential For Emotional Wellbeing | Mid Week Tease
What if “treating yourself” isn’t indulgence but a psychological necessity? In this week’s Mid Week Tease, Adelle reflects on how she’s learned to intentionally place joy into her life, especially around birthdays. From solo stays by the pool with poetry and silence, to beach days and bicycle tours, this episode explores why joy deserves to be planned, not postponed. Drawing from personal ritual and psychology-backed research, Adelle unpacks why joy plays a critical role in emotional regulation, resilience, and healing, particularly for women who have been conditioned to survive instead of savor. You’ll also hear insights inspired by the work of Barbara Fredrickson, whose research shows that positive emotions don’t just feel good they broaden our thinking and build long-term emotional strength. This episode is an invitation to stop waiting for permission to enjoy your life, and to start treating joy as maintenance not a reward. In this episode, we explore: Why treating yourself isn’t about luxury, but nervous system regulation How intentional joy builds emotional resilience over time The difference between escapism and self-attunement Why small, repeated pleasures matter more than big, rare ones How to identify what actually brings you joy (not what looks good online) Simple, accessible ways to begin treating yourself without guilt Gentle reflection questions from the episode: When was the last time I did something purely because it brought me joy? What environments help my body soften and expand? What small joy have I been postponing and why? Listen if you’re: Emotionally exhausted but still “functioning” Learning how to stop abandoning yourself Trying to build a softer, more intentional life Curious about the psychology behind joy and wellbeing Ready to treat yourself without justification About Mid Week Tease Mid Week Tease is a reflective audio series by Legally Clueless Africa offering grounding conversations about healing, self-awareness, relationships, and becoming more emotionally honest with ourselves. 🔗 Useful links: Newsletter signup: Instagram: TikTok: YouTube: Share your story with us: forms.gle/kMn7Wae5N563JFGQ8
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From Grief To Laughter PART 1 | Legally Clueless Ep 363
02/01/2026
From Grief To Laughter PART 1 | Legally Clueless Ep 363
In Episode 363 of the Legally Clueless Podcast, Kenyan stand-up comedian Rahab Kihuha shares Part 1 of her powerful story, a deeply honest journey through grief, addiction, mental health struggles, and the unexpected role comedy played in her survival. Rahab opens up about losing her father, using alcohol to cope with pain, feeling emotionally unseen, and how stepping onto a comedy stage for the first time helped her transform shame into laughter. What began as a way to numb pain slowly became a form of healing and a path toward purpose. This episode explores: Grief and how it shows up in the body Addiction as a coping mechanism, not a moral failure Using humour as armour and medicine Mental health struggles among African women How creativity can become a lifeline before it becomes a career Connect With Legally Clueless Africa 💌 Join our newsletter: 👉 📸 Follow us on Instagram: 👉 🎵 Follow us on TikTok: 👉 📺 Subscribe on YouTube: 👉 📝 Share your story with us: 👉 Legally Clueless is a podcast and community amplifying African women’s stories around healing, identity, mental wellness, relationships, and self-discovery, one honest conversation at a time.
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Why Workplace Policies Matter: Power, Silence & Justice for Women | Difference She Makes
01/31/2026
Why Workplace Policies Matter: Power, Silence & Justice for Women | Difference She Makes
In this episode of Difference She Makes, we turn our focus to policies, the internal rules that determine whether institutions protect people in practice or only on paper. Adelle Onyango is joined by Zikhona Ndlebe, a South Africa–based judicial governance expert who has worked at the heart of policy reform within the legal system. Zikhona helps us understand why policies are not just administrative tools, but powerful mechanisms that shape culture, accountability, and safety, especially for women. This conversation unpacks how sexual misconduct has long existed in legal institutions even when it was never formally named, why denial protects systems more than people, and how policy gaps leave survivors without recourse. Zikhona also explains why timing matters: when harm occurs before a policy exists, justice becomes far more difficult to achieve. We explore: Why internal workplace policies matter as much as laws and constitutions How power, silence, and denial operate inside legal institutions The real-world consequences of policy gaps for women in law Why implementation matters more than intention What other African countries can learn from South Africa’s experience This episode is a reminder that justice is not only written in legislation, it is lived through policy, practice, and accountability. Listener question: What’s one workplace policy you wish existed and was actually enforced? Listen now and subscribe to Difference She Makes to follow the full series exploring how African women are reshaping justice and leadership across the continent.
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Postpartum Panic Attacks, Body Changes & Learning to Start Again | For Mannerless Women
01/29/2026
Postpartum Panic Attacks, Body Changes & Learning to Start Again | For Mannerless Women
Pregnancy and postpartum don’t just change a woman’s body they change her mind, her strength, and her sense of self. In this episode of For Mannerless Women, Adelle Onyango is joined by Winnie Okoth, elite CrossFit and Olympic weightlifting athlete and coach, for an honest conversation about postpartum realities we rarely prepare women for. Winnie shares her personal experience navigating: Postpartum panic attacks and mental health struggles Grieving the body and strength she once had Training, coaching, and showing up while feeling disconnected from her body Postpartum injuries women are told are “normal” including pelvic pain, back pain, and core separation The pressure to “bounce back” and how it quietly harms women Learning to start again from ground zero Why breathwork is foundational for healing the nervous system, core, and pelvic floor The power of community in postpartum recovery and motherhood This episode is for women who are pregnant, postpartum, supporting new mothers or unlearning the idea that healing should be rushed. You don’t bounce back. You build forward. 🔗 Listen, Watch & Connect Newsletter signup: www.legallycluelessafrica.com/ Instagram: www.instagram.com/legallycluelessafrica/ TikTok: www.tiktok.com/@legallycluelessafrica YouTube: www.youtube.com/c/LegallyCluelessYoutube Share your story with us: forms.gle/kMn7Wae5N563JFGQ8
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Postpartum Panic Attacks, Body Changes & Learning to Start Again | For Mannerless Women
01/29/2026
Postpartum Panic Attacks, Body Changes & Learning to Start Again | For Mannerless Women
Pregnancy and postpartum don’t just change a woman’s body they change her mind, her strength, and her sense of self. In this episode of For Mannerless Women, Adelle Onyango is joined by Winnie Okoth, elite CrossFit and Olympic weightlifting athlete and coach, for an honest conversation about postpartum realities we rarely prepare women for. Winnie shares her personal experience navigating: Postpartum panic attacks and mental health struggles Grieving the body and strength she once had Training, coaching, and showing up while feeling disconnected from her body Postpartum injuries women are told are “normal” including pelvic pain, back pain, and core separation The pressure to “bounce back” and how it quietly harms women Learning to start again from ground zero Why breathwork is foundational for healing the nervous system, core, and pelvic floor The power of community in postpartum recovery and motherhood This episode is for women who are pregnant, postpartum, supporting new mothers or unlearning the idea that healing should be rushed. You don’t bounce back. You build forward. 🔗 Listen, Watch & Connect Newsletter signup: www.legallycluelessafrica.com/ Instagram: www.instagram.com/legallycluelessafrica/ TikTok: www.tiktok.com/@legallycluelessafrica YouTube: www.youtube.com/c/LegallyCluelessYoutube Share your story with us: forms.gle/kMn7Wae5N563JFGQ8
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Abandoning Your Emotional Needs in Relationships | Mid Week Tease
01/28/2026
Abandoning Your Emotional Needs in Relationships | Mid Week Tease
Many women don’t struggle because they’re “too emotional.” They struggle because they’ve learned to abandon their emotional needs to keep connection. In this episode of Mid Week Tease, we explore the quiet, often invisible ways women self-silence in romantic relationships, friendships, and family not because they lack needs, but because expressing them once felt unsafe. This conversation unpacks emotional self-abandonment, where it comes from, how it shows up across relationships, and the psychological cost of constantly choosing harmony over honesty. Drawing from attachment theory, trauma-informed psychology, and family systems theory, this episode offers both language and tools for women who are tired of disappearing to be loved. In this episode, we explore: What emotional self-abandonment actually looks like Why many women minimise, over-give, or stay silent in relationships How early attachment patterns shape emotional self-silencing Emotional labour and the pressure to be “low maintenance” The role family systems play in teaching women to shrink The long-term effects of abandoning your emotional needs Practical tools to begin expressing needs without shame Psychology-backed frameworks referenced: Attachment theory (John Bowlby) Trauma-informed understanding of emotional suppression (Gabor Maté) Family systems & differentiation (Murray Bowen) The True Self vs False Self (Donald Winnicott) Gentle reflection prompts from the episode: Where do I silence myself to preserve connection? Whose comfort do I prioritise over my emotional truth? What do I need not what will keep the peace? Subscribe to the Legally Clueless podcast 📝 Sign up for our newsletter: 📲 Follow us on Instagram: 🎥 Watch on YouTube: 🎵 Find us on TikTok: 💬 Share your story with us: forms.gle/kMn7Wae5N563JFGQ8
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Why I Chose to Be Childfree as a Kenyan Man PART 2 | Legally Clueless Ep 362
01/25/2026
Why I Chose to Be Childfree as a Kenyan Man PART 2 | Legally Clueless Ep 362
In Episode 362 of the Legally Clueless Podcast, we share Part 2 of William Genga’s story, a Kenyan man who chose to be childfree and eventually underwent a vasectomy at 27, after years of being dismissed, questioned, and denied autonomy over his own body. In Part 1, William spoke about realising early in life that he did not want children, being parentified as a firstborn, navigating pregnancy scares, and the emotional toll of reproductive responsibility. In this episode, he takes us deeper, into what happened after he finally acted on that decision. William opens up about: Finally accessing a vasectomy after years of refusal The physical procedure and recovery including complications The emotional weight of secrecy, judgement, and silence His mother’s reaction and the grief that comes with unmet expectations The relief of bodily autonomy and living without fear of unintended parenthood Workplace discrimination against childfree people Why he chooses not to disclose his vasectomy publicly Finding community with other childfree Kenyans Challenging the idea that marriage and children are the only paths to fulfillment This episode explores vasectomy in Kenya, childfree living, bodily autonomy, male accountability, reproductive choice, and the quiet courage it takes to live outside society’s script. This conversation is not about convincing anyone to be childfree, it’s about respecting choice, asking harder questions, and understanding that raising a child is a lifelong responsibility that should never be entered into by default. Connect with Legally Clueless Africa Newsletter signup: www.legallycluelessafrica.com/ Instagram: www.instagram.com/legallycluelessafrica/ TikTok: www.tiktok.com/@legallycluelessafrica YouTube: www.youtube.com/c/LegallyCluelessYoutube Share your story anonymously: forms.gle/kMn7Wae5N563JFGQ8
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How Kenya’s Constitution Became A Tool for Women’s Power | Difference She Makes
01/24/2026
How Kenya’s Constitution Became A Tool for Women’s Power | Difference She Makes
Kindly take this short survey, your responses help shape future episodes of Difference She Makes and track how these stories are landing: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/diffshemakes Kenya’s 2010 Constitution is often praised as one of the most progressive in the world, but a constitution alone does not create justice. People do. In this opening episode of Difference She Makes, host Adelle Onyango sits down with Anne Ireri, Executive Director of FIDA Kenya, to explore how women helped shape Kenya’s constitutional journey and the everyday work required to protect those gains. Anne reflects on her full-circle journey from intern to leader, the behind-the-scenes resistance women faced during constitutional reform, and why vigilance is essential to prevent gender equality from being watered down by culture, politics, or complacency. This conversation goes beyond legal theory to ask a deeper question: What does it really take to turn “We the People” into lived reality especially for women and girls? In this episode, we explore: • What a constitution actually is and why ownership matters • How Kenyan women influenced the 2010 Constitution from the inside • Why constitutions are not self-executing, people breathe life into them • The tension between culture, tradition, and constitutional equality • Women’s rights as family rights and societal rights • What African countries can learn from Kenya’s constitutional journey Join the conversation: What’s one lesson from Kenya’s constitutional journey that you could apply in your organisation, advocacy work, or community? Drop your thoughts in the comments. Difference She Makes is a six-part docuseries examining how African women are transforming justice systems, institutions, and leadership across the continent not just on paper, but in everyday life. Don’t forget to subscribe so you don’t miss the next episode, where we travel to South Africa to examine what happens when equality leaves the constitution and enters the workplace through policy.
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How Kenya’s Constitution Became A Tool for Women’s Power | Difference She Makes
01/24/2026
How Kenya’s Constitution Became A Tool for Women’s Power | Difference She Makes
Kindly take this short survey, your responses help shape future episodes of Difference She Makes and track how these stories are landing: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/diffshemakes Kenya’s 2010 Constitution is often praised as one of the most progressive in the world, but a constitution alone does not create justice. People do. In this opening episode of Difference She Makes, host Adelle Onyango sits down with Anne Ireri, Executive Director of FIDA Kenya, to explore how women helped shape Kenya’s constitutional journey and the everyday work required to protect those gains. Anne reflects on her full-circle journey from intern to leader, the behind-the-scenes resistance women faced during constitutional reform, and why vigilance is essential to prevent gender equality from being watered down by culture, politics, or complacency. This conversation goes beyond legal theory to ask a deeper question: What does it really take to turn “We the People” into lived reality especially for women and girls? In this episode, we explore: • What a constitution actually is and why ownership matters • How Kenyan women influenced the 2010 Constitution from the inside • Why constitutions are not self-executing, people breathe life into them • The tension between culture, tradition, and constitutional equality • Women’s rights as family rights and societal rights • What African countries can learn from Kenya’s constitutional journey Join the conversation: What’s one lesson from Kenya’s constitutional journey that you could apply in your organisation, advocacy work, or community? Drop your thoughts in the comments. Difference She Makes is a six-part docuseries examining how African women are transforming justice systems, institutions, and leadership across the continent not just on paper, but in everyday life. Don’t forget to subscribe so you don’t miss the next episode, where we travel to South Africa to examine what happens when equality leaves the constitution and enters the workplace through policy.
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When Shame Turns Life Into a Performance | For Mannerless Women
01/22/2026
When Shame Turns Life Into a Performance | For Mannerless Women
What happens when shame quietly teaches you to perform instead of be? In this episode of For Mannerless Women, Adelle Onyango sits down with Kenyan comedian, activist, and writer Justine Wanda for a deeply honest conversation about shame, identity, adoption, grief, and unlearning survival modes. Justine shares how growing up adopted shaped her sense of belonging, why humour became a shield, and how much of her early life, from school to university, was spent performing to avoid being questioned or exposed. She reflects on the slow breaking of that performance, and the relief that came with realising that everyone is carrying their own invisible struggles. This episode explores: How shame can turn your entire life into a performance Using humour as protection and survival Identity after adoption and loss Navigating grief, belonging, and chosen family Letting go of who you had to be to survive Learning to be seen without performing This is a conversation for women who have ever felt like they had to be funny, fine, or palatable to be accepted, and for anyone learning how to extend grace to themselves while becoming. If this episode resonates, share it with a mannerless woman who needs the reminder that her truth doesn’t need to be edited to be worthy. 🔗 Links & Resources Newsletter signup: Instagram: TikTok: YouTube: Story submission form: forms.gle/kMn7Wae5N563JFGQ8
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The Loneliness After Boundaries | Mid Week Tease
01/20/2026
The Loneliness After Boundaries | Mid Week Tease
Setting boundaries is often framed as empowering and it is. But what we don’t talk about enough is what comes after. The quiet. The emotional exhaustion. The loneliness that settles in when you stop over-giving, over-explaining, and abandoning yourself for the comfort of others. In this Mid Week Tease episode, Adelle Onyango explores the rarely discussed emotional aftermath of boundaries, especially for women who have spent years being the strong one, the reliable one, the emotionally available one. This conversation is not about “how to set boundaries.” It’s about what it feels like to live with them. In this episode, we reflect on: Why setting boundaries can feel lonely before it feels freeing The emotional exhaustion that follows when your nervous system finally slows down How boundaries expose relationships built on access and emotional labour Grieving connections that couldn’t meet you at your new level Resisting the urge to undo your growth just to avoid discomfort Learning to sit with space long enough for healthier connections to form This episode is for anyone who set boundaries and wondered: “Why do I feel so tired?” “Why does it feel so quiet?” “Did I do something wrong?” You didn’t. You’re in transition. Join the Legally Clueless Africa community Newsletter: Instagram: TikTok: YouTube: Share your story: forms.gle/kMn7Wae5N563JFGQ8
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The Loneliness After Boundaries | Mid Week Tease
01/20/2026
The Loneliness After Boundaries | Mid Week Tease
Setting boundaries is often framed as empowering and it is. But what we don’t talk about enough is what comes after. The quiet. The emotional exhaustion. The loneliness that settles in when you stop over-giving, over-explaining, and abandoning yourself for the comfort of others. In this Mid Week Tease episode, Adelle Onyango explores the rarely discussed emotional aftermath of boundaries, especially for women who have spent years being the strong one, the reliable one, the emotionally available one. This conversation is not about “how to set boundaries.” It’s about what it feels like to live with them. In this episode, we reflect on: Why setting boundaries can feel lonely before it feels freeing The emotional exhaustion that follows when your nervous system finally slows down How boundaries expose relationships built on access and emotional labour Grieving connections that couldn’t meet you at your new level Resisting the urge to undo your growth just to avoid discomfort Learning to sit with space long enough for healthier connections to form This episode is for anyone who set boundaries and wondered: “Why do I feel so tired?” “Why does it feel so quiet?” “Did I do something wrong?” You didn’t. You’re in transition. Join the Legally Clueless Africa community Newsletter: Instagram: TikTok: YouTube: Share your story: forms.gle/kMn7Wae5N563JFGQ8
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Why I Chose to Be Childfree as a Kenyan Man PART 1 | Legally Clueless Ep 361
01/18/2026
Why I Chose to Be Childfree as a Kenyan Man PART 1 | Legally Clueless Ep 361
In Episode 361 of the Legally Clueless Podcast, we share Part 1 of William Genga’s story, a Kenyan man who made the decision to be childfree at a very young age and spent years defending that choice in a society that insists everyone must eventually become a parent. Born and raised in Kericho, William reflects on growing up parentified as the firstborn, constantly caring for younger relatives, and how those early experiences shaped his relationship with responsibility, autonomy, and choice. In this deeply honest episode, William opens up about: Why he decided he never wanted children, as early as primary school Being repeatedly told he was “too young” to know what he wanted Navigating sexual relationships while being firmly childfree Pregnancy scares and the emotional weight of reproductive responsibility The double standards around family planning for men versus women Doctors refusing to take his decision seriously How regret, accountability, and bodily autonomy intersect This episode explores childfree living in Kenya, reproductive choice, male responsibility, and the often unspoken emotional labour that comes with navigating intimacy when your life choices go against the norm. This is Part 1 of William’s story. In Part 2, he goes deeper into the consequences of these choices, family reactions, and the turning point that changed everything. 🔗 Connect with Legally Clueless Africa Newsletter signup: Instagram: TikTok: YouTube: Share your story anonymously: forms.gle/kMn7Wae5N563JFGQ8
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Becoming a Shame-Free Woman: Desire, Pleasure & Personal Liberation | For Mannerless Women
01/15/2026
Becoming a Shame-Free Woman: Desire, Pleasure & Personal Liberation | For Mannerless Women
In this episode of For Mannerless Women, Adelle Onyango sits down with writer, filmmaker, and cultural commentator Abigail Arunga for an expansive, deeply honest conversation about shame, desire, pleasure, and what it truly means to arrive as a liberated woman. Together, they explore how women are socialised to shrink themselves, emotionally, physically, sensually and what it takes to begin unlearning that conditioning. From confronting internalised shame to reclaiming pleasure, body autonomy, and self-trust, this episode invites listeners to reflect on their own relationship with desire and personal freedom. This conversation also weaves in: Why pleasure is often framed as “frivolous” for women How religion, culture, and colonial history shape sexual shame The difference between sexuality, sensuality, and embodiment Why personal liberation is inseparable from collective freedom Learning to listen to your body without guilt or apology This episode is thoughtful, reflective, and empowering, a must-listen for women on a journey of self-knowledge, healing, and unapologetic self-expression. Listener discretion advised: Mature themes are discussed. Links & Community Newsletter signup: Instagram: TikTok: YouTube: Share your story: forms.gle/kMn7Wae5N563JFGQ8
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Choosing A Life Others Didn’t Imagine For You: Being Childfree | Mid Week Tease
01/13/2026
Choosing A Life Others Didn’t Imagine For You: Being Childfree | Mid Week Tease
What does it mean to choose a life that doesn’t come with a ready-made script? In this episode of Mid Week Tease, we sit with the quiet, complex reality of being childfree, not as a debate, not as a defence, but as a lived truth. Inspired by Part Two of Hekaya’s story in Episode 360 of Legally Clueless, this conversation explores what it really means to opt out of motherhood in a world that assumes it is every woman’s destiny. We talk about the grief that can coexist with certainty, the identity work that begins when womanhood is no longer anchored to caregiving, and the ways relationships shift when your life doesn’t follow the expected path. This episode is for women who: Are childfree by choice and navigating misunderstanding or pressure Are questioning the assumption that motherhood is inevitable Have grieved imagined futures without regretting their real lives Are redefining legacy, care, and belonging beyond parenting This is not an episode about convincing anyone. It’s an episode about witnessing and reminding you that you are not incomplete for choosing differently. In this episode, we explore: Choosing to be childfree in a culture that assumes motherhood Why grief doesn’t mean regret Untangling womanhood from motherhood The myth that childfree women live “carefree” lives How friendships, dating, and family dynamics change Building chosen family and alternative forms of legacy 🎧 New Mid Week Tease episodes drop weekly. 🔗 Stay Connected with Legally Clueless Africa Join our newsletter community: Follow us on Instagram: Find us on TikTok: Watch full episodes on YouTube: Share your story with us: forms.gle/kMn7Wae5N563JFGQ8
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Family, Shame, and Becoming Yourself Part 2 | Legally Clueless Ep360
01/11/2026
Family, Shame, and Becoming Yourself Part 2 | Legally Clueless Ep360
In Part Two of Hekaya’s story, the conversation deepens into reproductive choice, healing, and what it means to consciously choose a childfree life. Hekaya reflects on getting pregnant while in university, choosing to terminate the pregnancy, and navigating the experience largely in silence. She speaks candidly about relief, guilt, and the shame that followed and how she continued with life before she had the language or space to process what had happened. This episode also explores Hekaya's journey toward identifying as childfree, not as a reaction, not as fear, but as clarity. She unpacks the societal pressure placed on women to justify not wanting children, the erasure of women’s identities within motherhood, and why choosing not to have children can be a deeply intentional and loving decision. Hekaya shares how healing came later through slowing down, therapy, inner work, unlearning religious conditioning, reconnecting with her body, and finding community that allowed her to feel seen and understood. This is a conversation about choice, autonomy, and trusting yourself, even when your decisions are misunderstood. If you’ve ever questioned whether your desires are “valid enough,” felt silenced around reproductive choice, or needed permission to define fulfillment on your own terms, this episode is for you. KEY THEMES Reproductive choice and bodily autonomy Terminating a pregnancy and navigating shame Being childfree vs childless Identity, motherhood, and self-preservation Healing after trauma and delayed processing Therapy, inner work, and unlearning conditioning Choosing community and chosen family THIS EPISODE IS FOR YOU IF: You’ve felt pressure to want motherhood You’ve made reproductive choices in silence You’re childfree or questioning motherhood You’re doing the work of healing and self-understanding You want stories that center women’s agency without judgment JOIN THE LEGALLY CLUELESS COMMUNITY: 🌍 Newsletter: 📸 Instagram: 🎵 TikTok: 📺 YouTube: ✍🏾 Share Your Story: forms.gle/kMn7Wae5N563JFGQ8 If this episode resonated, please share it with someone who might need to hear it, and leave us a review, it helps more African women find stories that remind them they are not alone. Your body. Your life. Your choice.
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Same Home, Different Childhoods: Sibling Dynamics | Mid Week Tease
01/07/2026
Same Home, Different Childhoods: Sibling Dynamics | Mid Week Tease
What happens when siblings grow up under the same roof, but carry very different emotional experiences into adulthood? In this Mid Week Tease episode, inspired by Hekaya’s story on the Legally Clueless podcast, we explore the quiet complexity of sibling dynamics, birth order roles, comparison, and emotional safety within families. Many of us were raised believing that shared parents automatically meant shared childhoods. But psychology tells a different story. Drawing from the work of trauma-informed physician Gabor Maté and psychologist Alfred Adler, this episode gently unpacks why siblings can experience the same household in entirely different ways and why naming your truth doesn’t make you disloyal or ungrateful. In this episode, we explore: Why siblings raised in the same home often have different emotional realities How birth order and invisible family roles shape adult identity The long-term impact of sibling comparison and quiet competition What it means when siblings aren’t emotionally safe How to honor your experience without villainizing your family This episode isn’t about blame. It’s about permission, to tell the truth, to protect your inner world, and to understand yourself with more compassion. If you’ve ever felt unseen, misunderstood, or conflicted about your sibling relationships, this conversation is for you. Listen & Connect with Legally Clueless Africa 🌍 Join our community & sign up for the newsletter: 📸 Instagram: 🎵 TikTok: ▶️ YouTube: 📝 Share your story with us: forms.gle/kMn7Wae5N563JFGQ8
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Family, Shame, and Becoming Yourself | Legally Clueless Ep359 Part 1
01/04/2026
Family, Shame, and Becoming Yourself | Legally Clueless Ep359 Part 1
In this first episode of 2026, we open the year with Part One of Hekaya’s story, a deeply reflective and honest conversation about family, identity, and the long road toward becoming yourself. Hekaya shares what it was like growing up as the last born in a family where expectations, religion, and control shaped how safe she felt to express who she truly was. She reflects on sibling dynamics, loneliness within family systems, creativity as a lifeline, and the subtle ways shame can be inherited and internalised. This episode lays the emotional foundation for a larger story, one that also touches on Hekaya's experience with terminating a pregnancy, the guilt that followed, and her journey toward healing and self-compassion. That part of her story continues in Part Two, which will be released next week. This is a conversation about understanding yourself beyond the roles you were assigned, and about recognising that even siblings raised in the same home can experience entirely different childhoods. If you’ve ever questioned your place within your family, felt unseen by those closest to you, or found safety in chosen family instead, this episode is for you. KEY THEMES Sibling relationships and emotional safety Birth order and identity formation Family expectations vs self-expression Creativity as survival and self-definition Shame, religion, and control in African households Beginning the journey toward healing COMING NEXT 🔔 Part Two of Hekaya’s story drops next week, where she speaks more deeply about reproductive choice, guilt, healing, and reclaiming her voice. JOIN THE LEGALLY CLUELESS COMMUNITY 🌍 Newsletter: 📸 Instagram: 🎵 TikTok: 📺 YouTube: ✍🏾 Share Your Story: forms.gle/kMn7Wae5N563JFGQ8 If this episode resonated, please share it with someone who might need it, leave us a review, and come back next week for Part Two. You are not alone and your healing matters.
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Surviving An Abusive Relationship Part 2 | Legally Clueless Ep 358
12/28/2025
Surviving An Abusive Relationship Part 2 | Legally Clueless Ep 358
In episode 358 of the Legally Clueless Podcast, Victoria shares Part 2 of her story, a powerful journey of leaving an unsafe marriage, rebuilding life as a single mother, navigating fear and displacement, and eventually experiencing deep love and devastating loss. Picking up from childhood trauma and survival patterns explored in Part 1, this episode focuses on healing, agency, community support, and what it means to choose life after years of endurance. In this episode, we explore: Leaving an unsafe marriage with children Rebuilding life from scratch during COVID Community support and dignity-centered help Navigating co-parenting and safety fears Finding love after trauma Grief, loss, and continuing to live fully Victoria’s story is a reminder that healing is not about perfection, it’s about persistence, courage, and choosing yourself again and again. Listen to Part 2 now. Share your story with us: forms.gle/kMn7Wae5N563JFGQ8 Join the Legally Clueless Africa community: Newsletter: Instagram: TikTok: YouTube:
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This Year Asked A Lot Of You: A Gentle Closing Before The New Year | Mid Week Tease
12/24/2025
This Year Asked A Lot Of You: A Gentle Closing Before The New Year | Mid Week Tease
As the year comes to a close, there’s often pressure to reflect, reframe, and rush into hope. This final episode of Mid Week Tease offers something different: a pause. In this episode, Adelle invites you into a soft, honest moment of witnessing, not to extract lessons or tidy the year up neatly, but to honor what the year truly held. This is a conversation for anyone who feels emotionally tired, quietly proud of surviving, or unsure how to carry this year forward. In this episode, we explore: When the year didn’t turn out the way you expected and why that doesn’t mean it failed The invisible things you survived without recognition Relationships you outgrew or quietly grieved Releasing versions of yourself that could no longer keep up Fatigue that comes from carrying too much, not from laziness The episode closes with a gentle reflective ritual no homework, no fixing, just presence: Three things you’re laying down One thing you’re proud of surviving One truth you’re carrying forward This is not a wrap-up. It’s a deep exhale. Listen when you need permission to pause before moving on. Join the Legally Clueless Africa Community If you’d like to stay connected, share your story, or explore more conversations like this, here’s where to find us: ✉️ Newsletter: 📸 Instagram: 🎵 TikTok: ▶️ YouTube: 📝 Share Your Story: forms.gle/kMn7Wae5N563JFGQ8
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Surviving An Abusive Relationship Part 1 | Legally Clueless Ep 357
12/21/2025
Surviving An Abusive Relationship Part 1 | Legally Clueless Ep 357
In Episode 357 of the Legally Clueless Podcast, Victoria shares part one of her powerful life story, growing up away from her mother, navigating multiple homes and boarding schools, and learning independence at a very young age. From her childhood in Nyeri, Karatina, and Garissa to her school years and early adulthood, Victoria reflects on how emotional absence, instability, and silence shaped her sense of belonging and connection. In this episode, we explore: • Growing up separated from primary caregivers • Childhood loneliness and emotional neglect • Boarding school experiences at a young age • How early instability shapes adult survival patterns • The quiet ways trauma takes root Share your story with us: forms.gle/kMn7Wae5N563JFGQ8 Join the Legally Clueless Africa community: Newsletter: www.legallycluelessafrica.com/ Instagram: www.instagram.com/legallycluelessafrica/ TikTok: www.tiktok.com/@legallycluelessafrica YouTube: www.youtube.com/c/LegallyCluelessYoutube
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From Suitcase to Store: Zia on Building a Fashion Brand, Trusting Instinct & Doing It Afraid | For Mannerless Women
12/18/2025
From Suitcase to Store: Zia on Building a Fashion Brand, Trusting Instinct & Doing It Afraid | For Mannerless Women
What does it really take to build a sustainable fashion brand in Kenya, without overnight success, investor hype, or a perfect plan? In this episode of For Mannerless Women, Adelle Onyango sits down with Zia Nyamari, fashion entrepreneur and founder & creative director of Zia Africa, for an honest conversation about building a business from the ground up, fear, faith, intuition and all. Zia takes us back to her very first business idea at 10 years old (selling popcorn on the street), through years of importing clothes in suitcases, quitting employment, navigating family pressure, and eventually opening a flagship store at Village Market. She shares the behind-the-scenes realities of growth, the fear of dead stock, imposter syndrome, and why consistency matters more than speed. This episode is especially for women who are: Thinking about starting a business Growing slowly and wondering if they’re “behind” Learning to trust their intuition alongside logic Navigating fear, faith, and self-belief In this episode, we talk about: Starting a business with what you have Why growth is rarely overnight The fear of dead stock and financial risk Quitting employment to bet on yourself Consistency as a business strategy Trusting intuition and feminine leadership Sustainability and slow fashion Affirmations, faith, and doing things afraid ZIA’s reminder is simple but powerful: “Believe in your idea so much it has no choice but to materialize.” 🔗 Connect with Zia Africa @nandigirl_ on instagram @zianyamari on TikTok @ziafrica on both IG & TikTok website: www.ziaafrica.com. Physical location: Village Market, New Wing, 1st floor. 🔗 More from Legally Clueless Africa Newsletter signup: Instagram: TikTok: YouTube: Share your story with us: forms.gle/kMn7Wae5N563JFGQ8 If this episode resonates, share it with a mannerless (or almost mannerless) woman in your life and don’t forget to follow or subscribe so you never miss a new episode.
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When Your Light Makes People Uncomfortable: How to Stop Dimming Yourself in Relationships | Mid Week Tease
12/17/2025
When Your Light Makes People Uncomfortable: How to Stop Dimming Yourself in Relationships | Mid Week Tease
What happens when your growth starts to shift your relationships? In this episode of Mid Week Tease, Adelle Onyango explores the quiet, often painful realization that not everyone in your life knows how to sit with your light. This episode unpacks how dimming yourself can show up subtly, why some relationships struggle when you expand, and how to let go without bitterness, blame, or drama. It’s a reminder that you don’t need to make yourself smaller to belong and that release can be an act of self-respect. In this episode, we explore: Why personal growth can make some people uncomfortable The subtle ways we dim our joy, confidence, and presence How to recognize relationships that require self-erasure Letting go without villainizing people you outgrow Grieving relationships that can’t meet you where you are Choosing yourself without guilt 🔗 Stay Connected with Legally Clueless Africa Newsletter signup: Instagram: TikTok: YouTube: Share your story with us: forms.gle/kMn7Wae5N563JFGQ8
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My Journey Through Grief, Bullying & Becoming PART 3 | Legally Clueless Ep 356
12/14/2025
My Journey Through Grief, Bullying & Becoming PART 3 | Legally Clueless Ep 356
In this final episode of Gachambi’s three-part story on Legally Clueless, we sit with the quiet, life-altering chapters that come after survival, grief, sobriety, faith, and the ongoing work of becoming. After being admitted to the bar in November 2023, Gachambi reflects on navigating unemployment, rebuilding her legal career at her own pace, and confronting the reality that being without work is often a systemic failure, not a personal one Gachambi 3. But the heart of this episode lies in the personal. She speaks openly about grief, losing her father, realising years later what “life without dad” truly means, and learning that grief does not have a timeline. Instead of trying to heal “correctly,” she chooses to honour her father by living fully and truthfully Gachambi 3. Gachambi also shares her sobriety journey, quitting alcohol in 2022 after years of heavy drinking, alcohol-induced health issues, and emotional numbing. She reflects on the clarity, discipline, and emotional presence sobriety brought into her life, and why choosing to be sober became one of the most life-affirming decisions she’s ever made. This episode is a powerful reminder that: Grief doesn’t end, it changes shape Sobriety is about choosing presence, not punishment You’re allowed to reinvent yourself at your own pace Your best version is still ahead of you Faith, community, and self-honesty can carry you through seasons that feel unbearable If you are grieving a loved one, rebuilding your life, questioning your relationship with alcohol, or learning how to live again after loss, this story will meet you gently. Plug into the Legally Clueless Africa ecosystem Newsletter: Submit your story: forms.gle/kMn7Wae5N563JFGQ8 Instagram: TikTok: YouTube (For Mannerless Women):
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The Truth About Vaginas: Dr. Sule Breaks Down Myths, Safety & Intimate Wellness | For Mannerless Women
12/11/2025
The Truth About Vaginas: Dr. Sule Breaks Down Myths, Safety & Intimate Wellness | For Mannerless Women
In this fearless and deeply educational episode of For Mannerless Women, Adelle sits down with Dr. Kristina Sule, one of only two cosmetic gynecologists in Kenya, for a groundbreaking conversation on vaginal health, vulva education, harmful practices, and what intimate wellness truly means for women at every age. Together, they unpack topics we were never taught, including: The difference between the vulva and the vagina How millions of nerves make the clitoris one of the most sensitive organs in the body Why the vagina is a self-cleansing organ What’s actually “normal” when it comes to vulva appearance Harmful Practices & Dangerous Myths Dr. Sule breaks down the real risks behind: Vaginal steaming “Vajacials” Yoni pearls, oils, sweets & inserts DIY lightening creams … and how some contain substances potent enough to cause vaginal cancer. Safe Alternatives & The Science of Cosmetic Gynecology We explore medically sound options for: Tightness Lubrication Dryness after childbirth or menopause Aesthetic concerns Intimate wellness across life stages (including her clients in their 80s!) What Intimate Wellness Really Means “It’s when your intimate life is pain-free, comfortable, confident, and enjoyable — not mechanical.” This episode empowers women to: Understand their anatomy Seek help safely Let go of shame Exercise agency over their bodies Know what to look for when choosing a licensed provider You deserve the absolute best reproductive and intimate health. 🔗 Legally Clueless Africa Links Newsletter: Instagram: TikTok: YouTube: Submit your story: forms.gle/kMn7Wae5N563JFGQ8
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