Infertility and Othering: When You Don’t Belong
IVF Failed You - The "So Now What?" Podcast
Release Date: 08/12/2025
IVF Failed You - The "So Now What?" Podcast
How to Feel Like You Belong Again When You Are Childless After Infertility If you have ever walked into a room and instantly wondered where you fit, this episode is going to speak directly to you. When you are childless after infertility or you are still in the middle of your fertility journey, it can feel like everyone around you is living a chapter you hoped would be yours. Conversations about kids, family schedules and milestones can leave you feeling two inches outside the circle and unsure how to take your place in the room. In this episode, you learn why this happens and how to reconnect...
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Infertility and Imposter Syndrome- When You Wonder If You Really Belong Have you ever walked into a room and instantly questioned whether you belonged there? That is exactly what happened to me t at the annual meeting of the American Society for Reproductive Medicine (ASRM) in San Antonio. I was surrounded by fertility doctors, clinic directors, psychologists, and researchers, all experts in reproductive medicine. And for a moment, that familiar voice whispered, Who do you think you are? In this episode, I am taking you behind the scenes of what it felt like to show up as a woman who...
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Episode 189 | Childless After Infertility: The Shift That Changes Everything What if you could stop living in regret after infertility and start creating a life that feels amazing to wake up to? In this episode of The “So Now What?” Podcast, Lana Manikowski shares the realization that changed everything: the moment she stopped identifying as a victim of infertility and began shaping a new story for her life after IVF failed. If you have ever wondered whether it is possible to feel fulfilled without motherhood, this episode will show you how. You will learn how to shift your mindset from...
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When IVF Fails: How to Ask Your Fertility Clinic for the Support You Still Need When IVF fails, it can feel like your clinic disappears but you still deserve care. In this episode, learn how to ask for what you need from your fertility doctor even after fertility treatment ends. Discover how to advocate for yourself, share resources, and help your clinic better support women who are childless after infertility. If your fertility treatment ended without the baby you dreamed of, you are not alone and you are not forgotten. In this episode of The So Now What Podcast, host Lana Manikowski shares...
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IVF Failed: A Fertility Doctor’s Thoughts About What Comes Next When IVF fails, both patients and doctors are left asking, “What now?” In this conversation, infertility and life coach Lana Manikowski and fertility doctor Erica Bove, MD, explore what patients wish doctors understood after failed IVF, what doctors feel but rarely say, and how to create support and meaning after infertility. When IVF failed, you were not just handed a result. You were handed decisions with very little support. If you have ever left a fertility clinic wondering whether your fertility doctor truly saw your...
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When you’re going through fertility treatments, you never imagine they will end without a baby. I didn’t. I believed that if I tried hard enough, followed every step, and stayed committed, eventually I would have the child I dreamed of. But when IVF failed and motherhood didn’t happen, I was completely unprepared and unsupported. That gap, the silence that follows when treatments end without children, is why I became a member of ASRM, the American Society for Reproductive Medicine, and serve in their Mental Health Providers group. In October I am attending the ASRM annual congress...
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Why does infertility feel so shameful? In this episode of The "So Now What?" Podcast, Lana Manikowski unpacks the weight of shame after IVF fails and motherhood does not happen. She explains why shame shows up for women who are childless not by choice, why it is optional, and how you can release it. Learn four steps to stop carrying shame so you can feel grounded, confident, and whole in the life you are creating. If you are childless after infertility, you may know the weight of shame all too well. Shame convinces you that you are the problem. That your body failed. That you let your husband...
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How to tell your story with pride when IVF failed and you are living childless after infertility. When IVF fails and motherhood did not happen, it is so easy to feel like your only option is to hide. You spent years doing everything you possibly could—fertility treatments, doctors’ appointments, lifestyle changes, endless waiting. You gave your body, your money, your heart, and your time to the dream of becoming a mom. And despite all of it, you find yourself living childless after infertility. In those moments, it can feel impossible to talk about what really happened. Maybe you...
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When IVF fails and you’re childless after infertility, people often try to cheer you up with “at least you can…” comments. But what these comments really reveal is how uncomfortable our society is with sadness. In this episode, I share how a recent injury reminded me of that cultural reflex, why sadness is not a flaw, and how you can create room for both grief and growth as a childless woman. Plus: details on my free class September 17 and my World Childless Week panel on September 20, Rediscovering Your Identity as a Childless Woman. Sadness and Infertility: When It Feels...
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When IVF fails, your brain can feel like the enemy, spiraling with infertility triggers, constant comparison, and the grief of being childless after infertility. In this episode, you will discover why your brain reacts this way when fertility treatments do not work, and three simple practices to begin calming your mind and finding peace. Have you ever felt fine one moment, and then a single pregnancy announcement, bump photo, or piece of unsolicited advice left you spiraling? If IVF failed you and you are now childless, your brain may feel like the enemy. But the truth is, your brain is just...
info_outlineInfertility and Othering: When You Don’t Belong
Have you ever walked into a room and instantly thought, “I’m the only one here without kids”?
That sinking feeling in your body is what is known as othering. Othering happens when you are seen, or you see yourself, as separate because you do not fit a societal mold.
If you are childless after infertility or your IVF journey ended without the child you dreamed of, you know how often othering can happen. You get left out of conversations, your life experiences are dismissed, or someone makes a comment that forces you to explain why you do not have children. But here is something you might not have considered. You may be keeping yourself in that “other” role without even realizing it.
In this episode, you will discover how you might be self-othering and how to shift the way you show up so you feel more connected and less defined by childlessness. I share why this topic is so personal to me after my own seven-year journey through IVF failed and ended without a child. You will learn the exact mindset shift that helped me stop letting “childless” be my headline and start introducing myself in ways that made me feel confident and part of the room.
You will learn how to:
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Recognize when you are self-othering without realizing it
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Stop letting childlessness become your whole identity
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Walk into social settings feeling prepared to lead the conversation with who you are beyond motherhood
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Use simple questions to connect with friends, family, and colleagues without the focus being on parenting
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See yourself as more than the one without kids so others can too
I also share a Thrive After Infertility client story that shows how one small change in how you show up can completely change how you are seen and how you feel in social situations.
If you have been feeling disconnected, overlooked, or like you will never belong in rooms where most people are parents, this episode will help you step out of the “other” box, create your own sense of belonging, and feel empowered in any setting.
Links from this episode
Free Class: Things People Say When You’re Childless (and How to Respond)
Learn practical ways to handle comments without shutting down or feeling small. Register here!
Thrive After Infertility: 12 Week Coaching Program
Work with me to create a life you love even without the children you dreamed of Learn more here
Book Your Free 45 Minute Thrive Call HERE!
In this call, you and I will create a plan for how you can start thriving and loving your life after infertility. Book your call
Follow me on Instagram @lana.manikowski
If you are ready to stop letting childlessness define your story and start living in a way that reflects all of who you are, press play on this episode now.