Childless After Infertility and Growing Older: Moving From Fear to Intention
IVF Failed You - The "So Now What?" Podcast
Release Date: 12/24/2025
IVF Failed You - The "So Now What?" Podcast
When IVF ends without a baby, life does not always fall apart. Sometimes it goes quiet. You may still be showing up to work, keeping plans, and getting through your days, yet something feels off. You are functioning, but not fully connected to your life. In this episode of The “So Now What?” Podcast, you are introduced to the concept of a grief plateau and why it is so common for women who are childless not by choice after infertility and IVF failed. A grief plateau explains why life can feel paused after fertility treatments end. Not dramatic grief. Not constant sadness. But a flat, stuck...
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Childfree or Childless? You Get to Decide What That Means If you don’t have kids, you’ve probably noticed the words childfree and childless everywhere. They show up on social media, in podcasts, in articles, in movies, and in conversations about women’s lives after infertility. And even if no one has ever asked you directly how you identify, you’ve likely felt something when you hear those terms used. Maybe you pause. Maybe you feel tension. Maybe you think, I don’t know how I feel about that. In this episode of The “So Now What?” Podcast, you slow that moment down and look at...
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What Happens When the Future You Planned Doesn’t Happen When fertility treatments end without a baby, you don’t just grieve the child you hoped for. You grieve the future you were building your life around. In this episode of The So Now What? Podcast, you explore post-traumatic growth after infertility and why it matters for women who are childless not by choice. Not in a toxic-positivity way. Not as a lesson you were supposed to learn. But as a way to understand what happens after years of trying, waiting, and living in a fertility holding pattern. If you’ve ever thought, I’m not the...
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If you’re childless after infertility and growing older feels unsettling, this episode invites you to move from fear to intention and imagine a future that feels grounded and meaningful. Childlessness after infertility and growing older can bring up fears you never expected to carry. When motherhood didn’t happen, aging is often framed as something to brace for rather than something you get to shape. In this episode of The “So Now What?” Podcast, you’re invited to move from fear to intention as you explore what it means to grow older without children, reconnect with your body after...
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When IVF Failed and Time Didn’t Fix It: Healing the Loss of Motherhood You were told time would heal this. That if you just waited long enough, the pain of leaving IVF without a baby would soften. That eventually the anger, loneliness, and grief around the dream of motherhood would fade on their own. But if you’re childless after infertility, you already know the truth. The calendar didn’t fix it. In this episode of The “So Now What?” Podcast, you explore why time alone doesn’t heal the loss of motherhood when IVF failed and why that doesn’t mean something is wrong with you....
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When you are childless after infertility, the holiday season can feel like a spotlight you never asked for. Everyone has an opinion about your fertility decisions. Everyone has a suggestion about what you should have done. And somehow every gathering becomes an open invitation for people to ask about baby news, adoption, donor eggs, or why you stopped trying. In this week’s episode, you learn how to stay grounded, confident, and steady when holiday opinions collide with the decisions you made after IVF Failed. You discover how to trust your intuition again and how to walk into December...
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Episode 192: How Childless Women Can Navigate the Holidays Ahead The holiday season can feel emotionally heavy when you’re childless after infertility. In this episode, Lana explains why Thanksgiving and Christmas can stir up overwhelm, anxiety, numbness, and confusion when you always imagined this season with a child of your own. You’ll learn how your brain and nervous system respond during this time of year, why nothing about your reaction means you’re doing anything wrong, and how to feel more grounded and supported as the holidays approach. The holidays can feel complicated when...
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How to Feel Like You Belong Again When You Are Childless After Infertility If you have ever walked into a room and instantly wondered where you fit, this episode is going to speak directly to you. When you are childless after infertility or you are still in the middle of your fertility journey, it can feel like everyone around you is living a chapter you hoped would be yours. Conversations about kids, family schedules and milestones can leave you feeling two inches outside the circle and unsure how to take your place in the room. In this episode, you learn why this happens and how to reconnect...
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Infertility and Imposter Syndrome- When You Wonder If You Really Belong Have you ever walked into a room and instantly questioned whether you belonged there? That is exactly what happened to me t at the annual meeting of the American Society for Reproductive Medicine (ASRM) in San Antonio. I was surrounded by fertility doctors, clinic directors, psychologists, and researchers, all experts in reproductive medicine. And for a moment, that familiar voice whispered, Who do you think you are? In this episode, I am taking you behind the scenes of what it felt like to show up as a woman who...
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Episode 189 | Childless After Infertility: The Shift That Changes Everything What if you could stop living in regret after infertility and start creating a life that feels amazing to wake up to? In this episode of The “So Now What?” Podcast, Lana Manikowski shares the realization that changed everything: the moment she stopped identifying as a victim of infertility and began shaping a new story for her life after IVF failed. If you have ever wondered whether it is possible to feel fulfilled without motherhood, this episode will show you how. You will learn how to shift your mindset from...
info_outlineIf you’re childless after infertility and growing older feels unsettling, this episode invites you to move from fear to intention and imagine a future that feels grounded and meaningful.
Childlessness after infertility and growing older can bring up fears you never expected to carry. When motherhood didn’t happen, aging is often framed as something to brace for rather than something you get to shape. In this episode of The “So Now What?” Podcast, you’re invited to move from fear to intention as you explore what it means to grow older without children, reconnect with your body after IVF failed, and begin imagining a future that feels meaningful, grounded, and entirely your own.
This episode was inspired by a simple question I overheard while out to dinner: Has getting old been like you expected it would be?
For women who are childless after infertility, that question can land deeply. Not because aging itself is the problem, but because the future no longer comes with a default storyline.
Together, we talk honestly about the physical fears of aging, the existential questions that surface when IVF fails, and how reaction mode can quietly shrink your sense of possibility. Most importantly, you’ll be invited to consider what it might look like to participate in your future, rather than brace for it.
This conversation isn’t about having all the answers.
It’s about giving yourself permission to imagine again.
In this episode, you’ll explore:
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Why growing older without children is often framed through fear
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The physical aging fears many women carry after infertility and why they make sense
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How fertility treatments can leave you feeling disconnected from your body
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What existential fear really means when motherhood didn’t happen
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The difference between bracing for the future and imagining it
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Why reaction mode helped you survive infertility but doesn’t have to be permanent
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How childless women often have more agency than they realize when it comes to aging
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Questions to help you begin envisioning a future that feels intentional and grounded
If growing older feels scary right now
If thinking about aging without children brings up tightness, fear, or a sense of “I don’t even know where to begin,” you’re not doing anything wrong. You’ve already had to let go of a future you worked hard for. It makes sense that imagining what comes next feels complicated.
That’s exactly why I offer Thrive Calls.
🌿 Book a free 45-minute Thrive Call
A Thrive Call is a free, 45-minute conversation where we slow everything down and talk honestly about what you want your life to feel like now and as you get older.
You don’t need a full plan.
You don’t need clarity before you book.
You just need a place to start imagining instead of bracing.
👉 Book your Thrive Call here!
📘 Free resource for navigating difficult conversations
If you’re also navigating intrusive or exhausting conversations about motherhood, infertility, or “what’s next,” I created a free guide many women find grounding.
The Top 27 Things People Say When You’re Childless (and How to Respond)
This guide helps you respond without overexplaining, spiraling, or losing your cool.
👉 Get the free guide here:
https://lana-manikowski.myflodesk.com/thingspeoplesay
Final reflection
Aging without kids doesn’t automatically mean loneliness or decline.
It means you get to be intentional in ways most people never have to consider.
You get to decide what matters.
You get to decide where your energy goes.
You get to decide who you’re becoming.
Not someday.
Now.
I hope you have a beautiful week.
I love you, and remember that it’s never too late to discover your meaning.
I’ll talk to you next week.