In The Fire: Purity, with Connor Hall

Purity is a battle for most every man. It’s a consistent battle. We are constantly at war against the enemy, our own flesh. We have to stay vigilant in guarding our eyes, mind and heart because the enemy is serious about taking men out. Purity is a big weapon that he uses to destroy the work of God in men, marriages and families.

We’re praying this episode will be helpful not only for you, but also for your middle and high school students—even your daughters. You know your kids and their maturity level. Listen to it and then discern if they’re ready for it.

DISCUSSION GUIDE

Opening Question:

• Got any funny fire stories?

• Where are you winning this week?

Purity is a battle for most men.

“Men: waiting until middle school to address puberty, sexuality and dating is a real problem and it puts our kids in harm's way.” Why is it important for us to take on the difficult and uncomfortable conversations with our kids?

73% of teen respondents age 13 to 17 have watched pornography online and more than half (54%) reported first seeing pornography by the time they reached the age of 13. Why do we have to be proactive instead of passive when dealing with this topic?

“The enemy has sown those weeds in our culture and it’s choking out the sacred stuff like purity, dating relationships, and marriage.” How does this problem of Purity affect our relationships? Our kids? Their future relationships?

“We have to be able to engage and parent students in the world they are living in, not the world we wish they were living in.” Why is this important?

Three Mindsets around Sex and Sexuality:

1. Sex as God

2. Sex is Gross

3. Sex is a Gift 

How have you seen these 3 mindsets? Talk about the result of them.

All sins make us fall from God in the same way. But the consequences of those sins cause drastically different damage. Why does sexual sin always cause so much damage?

What are some ways you can play defense in your own life?

Myth #1: The Fire Won’t Hurt Me.

Point: What we see often shapes what we think about.

• What are some ways the enemy uses our eyes to lead us astray & move us towards sin?  

• What are some ways we can guard our eyes?

What is the drastic thing you need to do right now to protect yourself against getting burned up in this fire of sexual temptation?

Myth #2: I Can Get Close to the Fire Without Getting Burned.

Point: What we think often shapes what we do.  

• Can you think about some examples in the Bible or in your life where “thoughts drive us to actions”?

How does Galatians 6:7-8 shape the way we view this topic of Purity?

Myth #3: If I Get Burned, He Can’t Heal It.

Point: What we’ve done doesn’t have to shape who we are

• Why is shame one of the great weapons that the enemy uses to trap men?

• What are some healthy & unhealthy ways to address shame?

“What you’ve done doesn’t define who you are.”

• Can you share a Bible passage that declares that? see if your LR Group can come up with 5-10 passages backs up that statement. (Example: Ephesians 2:8-9) 

• Why is this so important to remember?  

“Have a hard conversation now, rather than having a horrible conversation later.”

• Why is this important?

What were some things that really spoke to you about Connor’s story?

What has God been saying to you during this podcast?

What is the drastic thing that you need to do?

Key Verses

1 Corinthians 6:18-20 (NLT) 18 Run from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body.  19 Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; 20 you were bought at a price. Therefore, honor God with your bodies.

Psalm 119:9 (ESV) 9 How can a young man keep his way pure? By guarding it according to your word.

Ephesians 5:3 (NIV) 3 But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people.

James 1:13-15 (NIV) 13 When tempted, no one should say, “God is tempting me.” For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does He tempt anyone; 14 but each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed. 15 Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.

1 Corinthians 10:12-13 (NIV) 12 So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don’t fall! 13 No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, He will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.

Matthew 5:29-30 (NIV) 29 If your right eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. 30 And if your right hand causes you to stumble, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell.

Galatians 6:7-8 (NIV) 7 Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. 8 Whoever sows to please their flesh, from the flesh will reap destruction; whoever sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life.

1 Corinthians 6:9-11 (NIV) 9 Or do you not know that wrongdoers will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor men who have sex with men 10 nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. 11 And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.

Philippians 2:13 (NLT) 13 For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases Him.

 

Extra Resources

• Single, Dating, Engaged, Married by Ben Stuart. 

• Locker Room Episode, Quit Porn, May 10th, 2024

• Beyond the Battle: A Man's Guide to His Identity in Christ in an Oversexualized World by Noah Filipiak

 

Next Steps:

• Sign up for Locker Room Groups at southland.church/groups

• For any other questions or comments email [e-mail]

• As always…if this podcast has encouraged you, share it with a friend.  You never know how an episode like this can help those in your life that you care about.