Is The "Upper Limit Problem" An Invisible Force Secretly Controlling Your Life?
Release Date: 01/17/2025
#39: The Human Shield Excuse: Why Goodness Dies When We Stop Taking Responsibility
Beyond Success
Let’s stop pretending this is just a problem for soldiers and politicians. The “human shields excuse” isn’t just some abstract wartime tactic—it’s the same twisted reasoning people use every day to justify hurting others, dodging accountability, or compromising their integrity. It’s what lets you blow up a relationship and blame the other person for making you do it. It’s how you rationalize crossing a line—then sleep at night because technically, it wasn’t your fault. In war, this excuse gets innocent people killed. In your life, it’s killing your peace of mind,...
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#38: Success Doesn't Heal Shame: Why the Hustle Kills Emotional Strength
Beyond Success
Too many people are numb to life, unable to enjoy themselves and their relationships even if they’ve achieved great things. The real problem isn’t intelligence, skill, or drive. It’s a failure to process emotions properly because they’ve lost the ability to use their “heart-mind.” Sadly, most of us have been subtly conditioned to not even know we’re approaching this all wrong. Thankfully, you can learn how to regain clarity of your heart-mind. And once you do, and stick with it, the results are astounding. In today’s episode, I’ll share three key ideas about your...
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#37: The Books That Helped Me Stop Proving Myself and Start Living for Real
Beyond Success
The Achiever’s Curse is a deadly one. It starts subtle at first. But left unchecked long enough, it seeps into every aspect of your life, stealing joy and fulfillment every step of the way. Too many achievers don’t realize this insidious curse until they feel the intense pangs of regret on their deathbed. Far too late, in other words. I want to help you avoid this terrible fate… I have read well over 1,000 books in my life - spanning across psychology, philosophy, leadership, business, religion, spirituality, personal growth, and more. Most of them were interesting. A...
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#36: The Hidden Reason Smart People Make Terrible Life Decisions
Beyond Success
Perhaps the most important skill an intelligent person can learn is the Dao of Decision Making. Making tough, high-stakes decisions doesn’t come naturally to high achievers because they’ve been fooled into valuing their intelligence more than their emotions. But every decision has its roots in emotions… and relying solely on logic and data for these decisions is a quick way to make a decision that wrecks your marriage, your internal harmony, and even your future fulfillment. In other words, there is a better way to access the deep kind of wisdom that makes the answer to...
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#35: The Silent Way Emotional Avoidance Destroys Success
Beyond Success
High achievers are vulnerable to emotional avoidance. It’s subtle, sneaky, and seductive. It tricks you into thinking you’re making progress or crushing goals. But when everything feels flat - no matter how big the accomplishment - it’s a sign that you’re under the spell of emotional avoidance. And emotional avoidance comes with a devastating cost: Losing the entire gamut of your emotions. That might sound alluring at first, until you realize the full cost. It’s not just mental, but physical too. In fact, it could put you in the ground long before your time. But...
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#34: Why Smart, Driven People Struggle Emotionally (& How to Finally Break Free)
Beyond Success
Most high achievers learned at a young age that emotions were distractions. This early lesson inspired much of their success… but it came at a terrible cost: It develops emotional blindspots that quietly, patiently, and relentlessly sabotage you. Here’s the thing about emotional blindspots: No matter how much you try to stuff them down and pretend they don’t exist, they don’t simply disappear. Instead, they move underground. They become sneakier. More insidious. And more sabotaging. Worst part? There’s only one way to address your emotional blindspots in a way that...
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#33: The Myth of Emotional Toughness: Why Suppressing Feelings is Weak, Not Strong
Beyond Success
Most high achievers take pride in the fact that they’re not too emotional. They stay cool under pressure, act like nothing bothers them, wear their emotional armor like a badge. But one day, they wake up and realize that they’re a mere observer of their life. They’re not actually living their own life. Instead, they feel empty, like something’s missing that they can’t quite put their finger on. Worst part? They don’t realize that the emotional armor they wore so proudly is the exact thing preventing them from experiencing all the good life has to offer: Joy, love,...
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#32: Why "Working on Yourself" Can Make Things Worse
Beyond Success
There are 3 distinct levels to personal development and self-improvement. And most high achievers get trapped forever in Level 2—never fully healing or integrating with their internal world because they’re stuck trying to conquer it. While Level 2 is helpful up to a point, if you stay in Level 2 for too long, you’ll never experience true healing or integration. Worst part? Most influencers and coaches intentionally keep you stuck at Level 2 because it’s easier to sell you “the one thing” you need than to fix yourself than sell the message that you don’t need fixed and...
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#31: You're Not Broken, Your Mind Just Learned the Wrong Lesson
Beyond Success
There are certain emotional scripts you learned in your formative years that are running your life today. These emotional patterns aren’t the enemy. They don’t mean that you're broken as a person or flawed in an insidious way. Instead, it simply means that you’re not aware of these emotional scripts. But if you’re been stuck in the same loops for years, trying harder, doing the same thing over and over, something deeper is necessary. In fact, gritting your teeth and trying harder will only give these emotional scripts more power over you and your behavior. In...
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#30: Why You're Burnt Out, Unfulfilled, & Still Not Enough (& How Wu Wei Fixes It)
Beyond Success
Most people, and high achievers in particular, suffer from a paradoxical problem: Trying too hard backfires and causes your deepest, darkest fears to realize. When high achievers are confronted with a problem in their personal or professional life, their first instinct is to push harder, work longer, go on more dates. They’re desperately searching for connection, peace, joy, and love. But they don’t realize that their need for control keeps these forever out of their reach. But there’s an ancient solution to this problem: Wu Wei, acting without inner friction. However,...
info_outlineQuestion:
Have you ever reached a high point in life (a major win, a big breakthrough, or a massive milestone)... only to feel like the rug’s been pulled from underneath you?
Well, I have good news and bad news:
If you find yourself second guessing yourself, procrastinating, picking fights with loved ones, or just a sinking, uneasy feeling that shows up whenever an opportunity knocks on your door, you might be going through the “Upper Limit Problem.”
The “Upper Limit Problem” happens when emotional energies from your childhood (and sometimes, from your parents’, grandparents’, and even ancestors’ childhoods) creates a heavy cloud over your emotional mind. It's vague, yet oppressive. And it can sabotage relationships, suffocate success, and stifle fulfillment and freedom.
But here’s the good news:
You don’t have to carry these burdens—whether they stem from your own experience or from generational fear and beliefs. And I show you exactly how to start this process of unburdening yourself in this episode.
Ready to remove these invisible limits, open up more opportunities, and unlock a deeper, more lasting sense of joy, love and fulfillment?
Listen now.
Show Highlights Include:
- The insidious, invisible force that pulls the rug from under you every time you achieve a new milestone (and how to break free from its wrath) (0:44)
- How "unattached burdens” from your parents’ childhoods can sabotage your relationships, limit your career opportunities, and keep you stuck in a loop of frustration (3:03)
- The historical reason behind why Asian parents have a tendency to downplay their children’s success (4:31)
- Do you ever feel a weird heaviness overtake you whenever you get close to a big opportunity? Here’s why this happens and how to prevent it (5:35)
- 5 examples of how the “Upper Limit Problem” manifests in your adult life (if you notice yourself doing any of these, here’s what to do…) (7:53)
- How to release the unattached burdens your subconscious picked up from generational fears or beliefs that prevent you from living a truly fulfilling life (16:32)
- Why well-meaning, but misguided messages from childhood can cripple and hinder your success today (20:51)
- Is your business stuck in a cycle of withering instead of growing? Here’s one unusual way to grow your business by 50% (24:09)
For more about David Tian, go here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/about/
Emotional Mastery is David Tian's step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/emotionalmastery