Master Inner Game: How to Become More Attractive on Dates & Magnetic as a Leader
Release Date: 01/24/2025
#39: The Human Shield Excuse: Why Goodness Dies When We Stop Taking Responsibility
Beyond Success
Let’s stop pretending this is just a problem for soldiers and politicians. The “human shields excuse” isn’t just some abstract wartime tactic—it’s the same twisted reasoning people use every day to justify hurting others, dodging accountability, or compromising their integrity. It’s what lets you blow up a relationship and blame the other person for making you do it. It’s how you rationalize crossing a line—then sleep at night because technically, it wasn’t your fault. In war, this excuse gets innocent people killed. In your life, it’s killing your peace of mind,...
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#38: Success Doesn't Heal Shame: Why the Hustle Kills Emotional Strength
Beyond Success
Too many people are numb to life, unable to enjoy themselves and their relationships even if they’ve achieved great things. The real problem isn’t intelligence, skill, or drive. It’s a failure to process emotions properly because they’ve lost the ability to use their “heart-mind.” Sadly, most of us have been subtly conditioned to not even know we’re approaching this all wrong. Thankfully, you can learn how to regain clarity of your heart-mind. And once you do, and stick with it, the results are astounding. In today’s episode, I’ll share three key ideas about your...
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#37: The Books That Helped Me Stop Proving Myself and Start Living for Real
Beyond Success
The Achiever’s Curse is a deadly one. It starts subtle at first. But left unchecked long enough, it seeps into every aspect of your life, stealing joy and fulfillment every step of the way. Too many achievers don’t realize this insidious curse until they feel the intense pangs of regret on their deathbed. Far too late, in other words. I want to help you avoid this terrible fate… I have read well over 1,000 books in my life - spanning across psychology, philosophy, leadership, business, religion, spirituality, personal growth, and more. Most of them were interesting. A...
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#36: The Hidden Reason Smart People Make Terrible Life Decisions
Beyond Success
Perhaps the most important skill an intelligent person can learn is the Dao of Decision Making. Making tough, high-stakes decisions doesn’t come naturally to high achievers because they’ve been fooled into valuing their intelligence more than their emotions. But every decision has its roots in emotions… and relying solely on logic and data for these decisions is a quick way to make a decision that wrecks your marriage, your internal harmony, and even your future fulfillment. In other words, there is a better way to access the deep kind of wisdom that makes the answer to...
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#35: The Silent Way Emotional Avoidance Destroys Success
Beyond Success
High achievers are vulnerable to emotional avoidance. It’s subtle, sneaky, and seductive. It tricks you into thinking you’re making progress or crushing goals. But when everything feels flat - no matter how big the accomplishment - it’s a sign that you’re under the spell of emotional avoidance. And emotional avoidance comes with a devastating cost: Losing the entire gamut of your emotions. That might sound alluring at first, until you realize the full cost. It’s not just mental, but physical too. In fact, it could put you in the ground long before your time. But...
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#34: Why Smart, Driven People Struggle Emotionally (& How to Finally Break Free)
Beyond Success
Most high achievers learned at a young age that emotions were distractions. This early lesson inspired much of their success… but it came at a terrible cost: It develops emotional blindspots that quietly, patiently, and relentlessly sabotage you. Here’s the thing about emotional blindspots: No matter how much you try to stuff them down and pretend they don’t exist, they don’t simply disappear. Instead, they move underground. They become sneakier. More insidious. And more sabotaging. Worst part? There’s only one way to address your emotional blindspots in a way that...
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#33: The Myth of Emotional Toughness: Why Suppressing Feelings is Weak, Not Strong
Beyond Success
Most high achievers take pride in the fact that they’re not too emotional. They stay cool under pressure, act like nothing bothers them, wear their emotional armor like a badge. But one day, they wake up and realize that they’re a mere observer of their life. They’re not actually living their own life. Instead, they feel empty, like something’s missing that they can’t quite put their finger on. Worst part? They don’t realize that the emotional armor they wore so proudly is the exact thing preventing them from experiencing all the good life has to offer: Joy, love,...
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#32: Why "Working on Yourself" Can Make Things Worse
Beyond Success
There are 3 distinct levels to personal development and self-improvement. And most high achievers get trapped forever in Level 2—never fully healing or integrating with their internal world because they’re stuck trying to conquer it. While Level 2 is helpful up to a point, if you stay in Level 2 for too long, you’ll never experience true healing or integration. Worst part? Most influencers and coaches intentionally keep you stuck at Level 2 because it’s easier to sell you “the one thing” you need than to fix yourself than sell the message that you don’t need fixed and...
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#31: You're Not Broken, Your Mind Just Learned the Wrong Lesson
Beyond Success
There are certain emotional scripts you learned in your formative years that are running your life today. These emotional patterns aren’t the enemy. They don’t mean that you're broken as a person or flawed in an insidious way. Instead, it simply means that you’re not aware of these emotional scripts. But if you’re been stuck in the same loops for years, trying harder, doing the same thing over and over, something deeper is necessary. In fact, gritting your teeth and trying harder will only give these emotional scripts more power over you and your behavior. In...
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#30: Why You're Burnt Out, Unfulfilled, & Still Not Enough (& How Wu Wei Fixes It)
Beyond Success
Most people, and high achievers in particular, suffer from a paradoxical problem: Trying too hard backfires and causes your deepest, darkest fears to realize. When high achievers are confronted with a problem in their personal or professional life, their first instinct is to push harder, work longer, go on more dates. They’re desperately searching for connection, peace, joy, and love. But they don’t realize that their need for control keeps these forever out of their reach. But there’s an ancient solution to this problem: Wu Wei, acting without inner friction. However,...
info_outlineWhen you want to become more successful in business, relationships, or life, most people focus on tactics, strategies, and skills.
But there’s a bigger obstacle to your success than your lack of tactics, strategies, and skills… In fact, without first addressing this obstacle, success will never come easy, no matter how hard you keep pushing.
Why?
Because the obstacle you have to overcome is yourself. And no amount of pushing, prodding, or plotting can help you outrun yourself.
That’s the bad news.
The good news?
You don’t have to outrun yourself to succeed. Instead, you have to master your “Inner Game,” or the internal thoughts and feelings that run in the background of your subconscious. When you master your “Inner Game,” your inner critic becomes your most ardent and loyal supporter.
In today’s show, you’ll discover how to take the first step towards mastering your internal world, so success in business, relationships, and life naturally follows.
Listen now.
Show Highlights Include:
- The #1 biggest obstacle most achievers overlook and ignore—and how it costs them (0:32)
- The “Inner Game” secret that only the world’s most successful and fulfilled people understand (1:39)
- How a tennis coach can show you how to be a better leader, a better husband, and a better father (even if you’ve never swung a tennis racket in your life) (1:48)
- Why pushing harder for success leaves you more vulnerable to gut-wrenching failures (and what to do instead when success plateaus) (2:24)
- 2 simple steps to transform your inner critic from your archrival to your most loyal ally (5:29)
- The bizarre way achievers fear success more than failure (and how to figure out if you do this too) (6:13)
- How worrying about the sending the perfect text to a new romantic interest or hiring the perfect candidate for your business makes it impossible to do either (9:12)
- Why preparing too much can sink a business deal, sabotage a romantic relationship, and fill you with endless dread (11:22)
For more about David Tian, go here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/about/
Emotional Mastery is David Tian's step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/emotionalmastery