The Dating Lies You've Been Sold (And Why They're Keeping You Single)
Release Date: 02/07/2025
Why You Keep Attracting the Wrong People (& How to Attract the Right Ones)
Beyond Success
Most people chalk up their attraction problems to external sources: Maybe they think they need better strategies and skills. Or they believe that dating apps are against them. Or maybe it’s just that they’re unlucky. Here’s the bad news: If you've been struggling with attraction, confidence, or relationships, the problem isn't some external force working against you. The real issue is the unconscious patterns, your “Relationship Blueprint,” controlling your life. Worst part? Since your mind creates your “Relationship Blueprint” early in your formative years, most people...
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The Dark Psychology Behind Attraction Strategies (and Why They Always Backfire)
Beyond Success
As a former player myself, I know first-hand how crushing the “Grandiosity-Shame Cycle” is. Almost all players fall into this psychological trap that only leads to rage, doubt, depression, and despair. But you know what? It’s not just players who are at risk of falling into this sabotaging cycle. Any one who builds his or her identity around external validation is at risk of falling into this deep emotional hole, where compulsive self-destruction and total emptiness become your new normal. To drive home just how devastating the “Grandiosty-Shame Cycle” is, today’s...
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The Dating Lies You've Been Sold (And Why They're Keeping You Single)
Beyond Success
Men who have a desire to improve at dating often fall into the trap of tactics. And they fundamentally believe that their lack of success is not because of them, but because of the modern dating world. So they seek to “optimize” individual tactics involved in modern dating—fixing their profile on dating apps, becoming more successful in their career, hitting the gym and getting a six-pack—without ever confronting the real root cause of their dating failures: Themselves! Of course, this route is far easier than confronting your deep-rooted emotional issues. You may even experience...
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The Missing Ingredient for Lasting Attraction: Investment (It's Not What You Think)
Beyond Success
Does your relationship feel like it's dying a slow death? The passion is gone. The original spark has been extinguished. And resentment for your partner may even be surfacing. Here’s the truth: This is a “stress test” almost all relationships go through. But if you’re a people pleaser, then, well, this is usually where your relationship goes to die. Why? Because people pleasers see the signs of a relationship dying and unknowingly double down on the exact things that drove the relationship to the graveyard in the first place. This only suffocates it faster. So, how do...
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Master Inner Game: How to Become More Attractive on Dates & Magnetic as a Leader
Beyond Success
When you want to become more successful in business, relationships, or life, most people focus on tactics, strategies, and skills. But there’s a bigger obstacle to your success than your lack of tactics, strategies, and skills… In fact, without first addressing this obstacle, success will never come easy, no matter how hard you keep pushing. Why? Because the obstacle you have to overcome is yourself. And no amount of pushing, prodding, or plotting can help you outrun yourself. That’s the bad news. The good news? You don’t have to outrun yourself to succeed....
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Is The "Upper Limit Problem" An Invisible Force Secretly Controlling Your Life?
Beyond Success
Question: Have you ever reached a high point in life (a major win, a big breakthrough, or a massive milestone)... only to feel like the rug’s been pulled from underneath you? Well, I have good news and bad news: If you find yourself second guessing yourself, procrastinating, picking fights with loved ones, or just a sinking, uneasy feeling that shows up whenever an opportunity knocks on your door, you might be going through the “Upper Limit Problem.” The “Upper Limit Problem” happens when emotional energies from your childhood (and sometimes, from your parents’,...
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How To Set Boundaries Without Feeling Guilty
Beyond Success
When your team, family, and friends rely on you for everything, and you don’t know how to say no, then you’re on a path of self-destruction. Why? Because an inability to set boundaries and assert yourself stems from toxic shame you picked up at some point in your life. If you don’t address this toxic shame, burn out, resentment, and self-loathing follow. That’s the bad news. The good news? While learning how to assert yourself might not be the easiest thing you do, it’s possible. And today’s episode is your first step towards reversing your toxic shame, figuring...
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The Gossip Trap: How It Silently Destroys Trust & Connection
Beyond Success
Most people never stop to question today’s topic. But it silently poisons relationships, teams, and even your own peace of mind. Worst part? It masquerades as an innocent and harmless way to blow off steam. But it actually erodes trust, creates drama, and keeps pressing problems unresolved. Of course, we’re talking about gossip today. Not only is it harmful to anyone you gossip to and about, but it’s insidious to you too. In today’s show, you’ll discover the real cost of gossip, the truth behind why we gossip (and how to fix it), and most importantly, how to break...
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Time Does Not Heal Emotional Wounds: Do This Instead
Beyond Success
A messy breakup or divorce can cause devastating trickle down consequences when you don’t learn how to rebuild your trust. But many people wrongly believe that time can heal all wounds. But this passive approach leads you down a road of fear, resentment, and isolation. Why? The truth is that time does not heal emotional wounds. And expecting it to will only trick you into repeating the same patterns that resulted in a messy breakup in the first place. While this process won’t be easy, it’s possible. And when you follow the 5 steps I lay out in today’s show, then...
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Why Smart, Successful People Struggle to Make Life's Biggest Decisions
Beyond Success
Do you struggle making tough decisions because indecision is easier? While this is something everyone confronts at one point or another, it comes with a steep cost: While indecision might feel like it provides relief in the short term, it eventually erodes your confidence, your relationships, and your ability to lead. It also creates a ripple effect that extends to every other aspect of your life. Worst part? Indecision is a slow poison and you might not realize the sabotaging effects it has immediately. In fact, it’s common to only realize its effects until it’s too late:...
info_outlineMen who have a desire to improve at dating often fall into the trap of tactics. And they fundamentally believe that their lack of success is not because of them, but because of the modern dating world.
So they seek to “optimize” individual tactics involved in modern dating—fixing their profile on dating apps, becoming more successful in their career, hitting the gym and getting a six-pack—without ever confronting the real root cause of their dating failures:
Themselves!
Of course, this route is far easier than confronting your deep-rooted emotional issues. You may even experience short-term successes too: More dates, getting laid more often, and being surrounded by beautiful women more often.
But this short-term success comes with a cost…
It deprives you of the very thing you actually want: A real, authentic connection with someone you love.
Why?
Because obsessing over dating tactics is a way to blame the world for your failures instead of looking in the mirror. But only by looking in the mirror and doing the work can you actually create an authentic and fulfilling relationship.
In today’s show, you’ll discover why men externalize their dating struggles instead of owning them, how unresolved attachment wounds keep you in the same toxic dating patterns, how chasing external validation leads to loneliness, and most importantly, how to actually address these issues so they stop showing up in your dating life.
Listen now.
Show Highlights Include:
- The weird way getting more matches on dating apps can erode your confidence (1:09)
- Do you think that women only care about status and wealth? Here’s why this is an example of classic projection of your insecurities (3:12)
- How taking the easy route in dating helps you overcome heartache faster—at the expense of a successful lasting relationship (5:14)
- 3 questions that break through your unconscious projections sabotaging your dating life (6:52)
- Why do people end up in the same, frustrating dating patterns no matter how much they've learned from previous relationships? They fall into one of these three categories… (8:31)
- How obsessing over your profile on dating apps prevents you from experiencing true love and connection. Here’s why: (18:25)
- The insidious “Grandiosity-Shame Dynamic” that explains why men struggle in their relationships with women (and how to conquer this shortcoming) (21:45)
- How you’re setting yourself up for loneliness, resentment, and self-destruction in your dating life without even realizing it (24:50)
For more about David Tian, go here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/about/
Emotional Mastery is David Tian's step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/emotionalmastery