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Marriage and Martinis

Ordinary People. Ordinary Things. with Melissa Radke

Release Date: 11/05/2019

Ordinary People. Ordinary Things. with Melissa Radke

There is going to be a very good chance that you think you know what I'm going to say on this podcast, but you don't. I can promise you that, because up until about 12 hours ago, I didn't even know what I was going to be saying on this podcast. I actually had an interview scheduled this week, but aren't we living in a time when we never know what's coming? This podcast wasn't in the cards for me either, so please keep listening until the end. David Radke will be joining me on today's show. In order to earn a living, I create content. I write books. I travel and I speak. I write online courses...

D-I-V-O-R-C-E

Ordinary People. Ordinary Things. with Melissa Radke

I'm excited about today, because my guest is ordinary. She is ordinary, the topic is ordinary, and you all know how I feel about ordinary. We talk about a mundane event that lots of people go through, but she is handling it in extraordinary ways. I haven't done a podcast on this subject, yet it's so prevalent. I'm talking about divorce. Last fall, I met Kelly Mathews, and I thought she was so kind and so beautiful, but her story was painful. It was the story of a loss of a relationship and the loss of a marriage. When I met her, I was wondering how she was still standing and still smiling. I...

Dream Life

Ordinary People. Ordinary Things. with Melissa Radke

Over the next two weeks, we will be talking to women who were suddenly faced with a decision. Maybe the decision came after years of being at a dead-end job, and they simply had had enough. Maybe, it came after a divorce. We will be talking to these women who found themselves having to make a choice about what will be next. What will they do? Will they live? Will they die? Will they get stuck? Will they continue waking up every day putting one foot in front of the other? There are some really powerful and relatable stories coming your way over the next couple of weeks. Our Guest today had no...

Miss Connection

Ordinary People. Ordinary Things. with Melissa Radke

Dr. Justin Coulson is an honorary fellow at the Center for Positive Psychology at the University of Melbourne. He has three best-selling books about family life and parenting. He writes, consults, and teaches about the intersection of psychology, family, and well-being. He's a TEDx speaker and a regular TV expert guest. He's a contributor to major Australian media outlets. He's also contributed to the New York Times. He had a successful radio career and then returned to school in his late 20's where he earned his psychology degree and his PhD in psychology. Since then he has written...

Nurse Katherine Answers Your Questions

Ordinary People. Ordinary Things. with Melissa Radke

Katherine is a nurse practitioner who worked for many years at a very good OBGYN practice here in town. She left this practice to go work at the health clinic. A month later, she said it was one of the most fulfilling things ever. She's working with people and especially teenagers on the issues that are the most near and dear to her heart. Her work is about sex and our bodies.

ReRelease of 3.15 This Christmas

Ordinary People. Ordinary Things. with Melissa Radke

This is the first time I've rereleased an episode. I'm interupting our season on teens, social media and sex to rerelease an episode that came out around Christmas time with my friend Billie Jean Johnson. This was a powerful episode. I heard from so many of you that this episode moved you, challenged you, and made you think that you might want something more or different from your life. Billie Jean was facing one of the hardest challenges of her life, and she lost. At least, here on Earth. On Thursday February 13th, Billie Jean took her last breath. Now she is probably healthier and happier...

Net Navigation

Ordinary People. Ordinary Things. with Melissa Radke

There's a running list of things I don't understand and one of them is the internet. The internet is constantly changing. It goes deep and wide. Another thing I don't understand is teenagers. We may just use the internet for the things that we normally do like podcasts, shopping Facebook, and the rest. But teenagers, what do they do on the internet? Do they feel the same as we do and just use the internet for Amazon Prime orders, social posts, and reading safe blogs? I may not understand teens and I may not understand the vastness of the internet, but I've come to my senses when it comes to...

Rhythms of Renewal

Ordinary People. Ordinary Things. with Melissa Radke

About 10 years ago, I wasn't doing any of the things I'm doing now. I wasn't writing books. I wasn't hosting podcasts. I was sitting at home and watching other women go first. A lot of us find someone who is doing what we want to do and we follow them and root for them and listen closely when they speak. I was at home watching Rebekah Lyons. I've loved her from the moment I heard her speak. This might surprise some of you, after hearing this interview, because we couldn't be more different. She is all love, light, kindness and gracefulness. I've watched her long enough to know that what...

Melissa & David Q&A

Ordinary People. Ordinary Things. with Melissa Radke

Melissa and David are here today to answer listener questions. Melissa loves it when people ask questions. We appreciate you trusting us with all of the things we'll be talking about today and on future episodes. The last couple of weeks have been dedicated to something that Melissa just can't wrap her mind around. We've been talking about being still, organizing, and decluttering our homes and our hearts, space, and putting your phone away. If someone would have told me that in the year 1994 when David and I got married that someday David would be checking his phone while we were having...

Uncluttered

Ordinary People. Ordinary Things. with Melissa Radke

A few months ago I got a book in the mail titled . Imagine that frozen moment in time, when I was holding this book while standing in my kitchen surrounded by, you guessed it, clutter! In spite of the stuff that creates clutter, today's podcast isn't about removing physical clutter. It's about removing noise, stress, and over commitments. This show is for anyone who wakes up from a nap and says, "I wish I could do that again." It's for people who buy books and find them later dusty and unread. It's for those who meet God on vacation or in quiet moments and wish they had more times like...

More Episodes

I'm from deep East Texas, and we handle things differently than they do in New Jersey. We also wear pearls and clutch them when someone says something. We don't air our dirty laundry to the world. If you've been watching me and David's Instagram Lives, you will see us sign off with bye and love you. Then the minute we get off the video, I look at him and say, "I'm going to murder you." We don't put this out for the world to see, but today's guest does.

Danielle Silverstein was a stay at home mom for 13 years until she started the Marriage & Martinis podcast and community with her husband Adam. They decided to start it after dealing with Adam’s alcoholism, gambling addiction, and other acts of betrayal, so that others who might be going through the same thing won't feel so alone. In practically no time, they found themselves with a huge following.

Danielle and I have never met before this podcast. When I told my friends I was interviewing her it was met with gasps and pearl clutching. Danielle and Adam are very open on their podcast about their sex life, and she is a self-proclaimed f-bomb dropper. Don't worry, there's none of that today. I really liked her. I wish I would have made this podcast two parts, because we could talk for a long time.

Danille is also brutally honest. Alcoholism is a problem. Gambling addiction is a problem. Sometimes she knows what to do about it, and sometimes she doesn't. Marriage & Martinis is an attempt to present a real authentic marriage at its core. It's hard to make an open and vulnerable podcast about your marriage and make it work, but Danielle and Adam have done just that. They decided to take a big risk, and now their podcasts helps them while they also help other people.

Show Notes:

[04:39] Danielle is rocking average.
[06:59] Danielle and Adam were both 25 when they got married. Danielle's mom stayed home, and Danielle liked that and wanted to do it for her kids and husband.
[07:39] She had a very traditional viewpoint even though she went to NYU.
[08:07] She discovered that she was a really good mom, but not that great of a housewife.
[09:02] When Adam's dad passed away, Adam became not present mentally and physically.
[09:24] This was in 2015, and they had three kids.
[10:42] It was almost like having a fourth child that was putting himself and others in danger.
[12:13] Adam is known as party Adam. Everyone loves it, except for sometimes Danielle. They both suffer from anxiety and OCD and know that certain things are triggers.
[13:16] When Adam should have been in therapy, he turned to alcohol and gambling, and it became problematic.
[15:21] Alcohol was just one of the side effects of not wanting to deal with things and feel things.
[16:06] Adam would also take off to Atlantic City.
[17:34] Danielle finally said, it was time to fix things or she was done.
[18:18] They used to sit and have a cocktail and talk all night long. Danielle realized that they should record their conversations, and their podcast began.
[19:13] They are still actively recovering, but they are both immersed in the process of healing.
[20:36] Adam is a tech guy, and he has always loved podcasts. She also knew that Adam needed a purpose to feel like he was contributing.
[22:23] Having a podcast to share all of their issues seemed crazy, but also a good idea. They had nothing to lose.
[23:50] Danielle has OCD that's not founded in reality.
[26:10] Adam also went to therapy. The drinking was a symptom of a core issue. He can still have a drink.
[28:56] Danielle thought Adam needed a way to get out of his head and start thinking about others.
[30:17] Every situation is different. Alcohol wasn't Adam's biggest problem.
[34:36] Danielle and Adam put everything out there in their podcast.
[35:44] They are in the arena for their marriage. It's about more support and less judgement.
[37:00] Vulnerability is a super power.
[38:38] Rapid fire questions. Danielle loves sushi.
[40:15] Friendship is vulnerability and acceptance.
[40:51] If there was a movie about Danielle and Adam, it might star Anthony Bourdain and Reese Witherspoon.

Thanks for joining us on Ordinary People Ordinary Things. Be sure to subscribe to our podcast on iTunes and leave a nice review. Just like your mother taught you.

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