MPF298: How to Really Love Your Teenager
Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family
Release Date: 08/26/2024
MPF 319: How Husbands Lead
Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family
Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. Eph 6:4 In this episode of the Messy Family Podcast, hosts Mike and Alicia Hernon celebrate their 10th year of the podcast and introduce the new studio, setting the stage for a discussion on fatherhood and leadership in the home. They emphasize that while fathers are called by God to lead, many struggle to understand what that truly means in a world that often undermines their role. True leadership is not about domination but about serving, sacrificing, and guiding with love, following...
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MPF 318: Families as Missionaries
Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family
Families don’t just have a mission, they ARE a mission! Summary When we hear “missionary” many of us automatically think of a single person serving in a third world country. Then we think, “not me!” But the reality is that all Catholics are called by their baptism to spread the good news of Jesus throughout the world. We do that first and foremost in our homes, through the pastoral care of our spouse and children, but there are other ways we can spread the Good News to the world. In this podcast, we interview Tim and Maggie Glemkowski, parents with a...
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MFP 317: Who are These Messy Families? 2024 Survey Summary
Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family
Summary Since 2018 we have been doing surveys of our listeners to find out who you are, how we can serve you more, and what your needs are. We have never shared this information with our listeners until now! Over the years we have had thousands of listeners take this survey and it's interesting to see what has remained the same and what has changed. We thought it would be encouraging to you to hear that you are not alone! The struggles that you have told us about are shared by other moms and dads too. Listen in as we talk about the make-up of most of our...
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MFP 316: A Manual for Catholic Families
Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family
“Catholic parenting is above all a work of grace” - Fr. Carter Griffin We often say there is no manual for being a parent, but this book comes pretty close! In this podcast, we interview the author of Forming Families, Forming Saints Fr. Carter Griffin. Fr. Griffin has worked for years forming young men into priests in the seminary setting. In doing so, he saw many similarities between what he was doing with young men and what parents were doing at home. The four pillars of formation in the seminary - human, intellectual, spiritual, and apostolic - can be applied in...
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MFP 315: 10 Things to Stop Doing in 2025
Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family
At the beginning of 2025 we want to challenge parents to step back and reassess their approach to family life by diving into 10 Things to Stop Doing in 2025. Are you focusing too much on your kids? Caught up in the frantic pace of life? Trying to "fix" your spouse or juggle it all? Let us give you some heartfelt encouragement to let go of habits that create stress, disconnection, and overwhelm. We guarantee this episode is packed with insights that will inspire you to parent with purpose and peace. Let’s start the year by simplifying, slowing down, and focusing on what really...
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MPF 314: Seasons of Prayer for Parents
Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family
“Be patient with everyone, but above all with yourself. I mean do not be disheartened by your imperfections, but always rise up with fresh courage” - St. Francis deSales Summary What God asks of us as parents is beyond our ability. We are all in need of God’s grace and that comes through prayer! Now, before you think, “I do not have time for prayer….” take a pause and listen to this episode. First, remember, we have been there! We had 3 kids under 3, 7 kids under 10 and then 10 under 16! We know that the crazy pace of life can make us feel like we can never...
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MPF 313: Surviving the Holidays with Grace
Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family
Kids will not always remember what you say, they will remember how they felt. Summary We have talked about the time between Thanksgiving and New Year’s being the “Momolympics”, a time when there are tons of things to buy, make, prepare, plan, and basically the happiness of your children all depends on you (at least we feel that way!) How can parents embrace the holidays with children with grace and excitement? How can we keep in mind what is truly important for our family? In this episode we give some principles, but also LOTS of practical advice as we look...
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MPF 312: The Well Ordered Family
Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family
Graces can flow into your home when nature is in its proper place. - Connor Gallagher, The Well-Ordered Family Summary Do you yearn for more order and clarity within your family? Is the chaos and busyness of modern life unsettling the harmony of your household? In this podcast, we interview Conor Gallagher, CEO of multiple businesses and father of sixteen, to talk to him about a transformative system that will restore peace and joy in your household. We love using business principles to improve family life, and in the Well-Ordered Family, Conor does just that! Join us...
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MFP 311: Family Roots - Mike's Irish Experience
Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family
In this episode, we dive into the beauty and power of family history. Mike shares the incredible story of his journey to Ireland—a dream rooted in a deep love for his heritage and a promise to pass it on to his children. From the ruins of his grandfather’s cottage to the windswept cliffs of the Aran Islands, the trip becomes a testament to the importance of staying connected to the past while building a legacy for the future. As we reflect on the stories of those who came before us, we’re reminded of the sacrifices and struggles that shaped who we are today. Alicia and Mike discuss how...
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MPF 310: Marriage, Teamwork, and Business - an interview with Dan and Brenda Vansteenburg
Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family
“Guided and strengthened by God’s grace, husband and wife advance their own perfection… and contribute jointly to the glory of God” ~ Gaudium et Spes Summary You should never marry someone with the idea that you can change them, but we do need to help our spouses become the best version of themselves. We all should have a vision, a belief that our spouse can be amazing and then work with them for their good. In this podcast, we hear the inspiring story of Dan and Brenda - a couple from two different families, faith backgrounds, and life philosophies. Though they were...
info_outline“21% of teens said their #1 concern was not having enough time with their parents. Only 8% of parents said their #1 concern was not having enough time with their kids.” ― Meg Meeker
Summary
After 13 years of marriage we had six children and were pretty confident in our parenting. But when our oldest daughter became a teenager, we felt like we needed to learn how to parent all over again! This sweet 12 year old seemed to begin changing before our eyes and we had to pivot pretty quickly to learn what it was that she needed and what our new role was as parents. The teen years do not need to be horrible. In contrast, it should be the flowering of all the parenting you have done and an exciting time for you and your child! The question for parents is how do I learn how to love my child during this turbulent time of change from being a child to being an adult. In this episode, we give you some principles to remember and some practical things you can do to REALLY love your teenager.
Key Takeaways
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If you want your teen to grow in virtue and maturity, you must give them freedom. Parents of teens move from being a protector to being a coach.
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For teens who are forming their identity in relation to the world, their interests are equal with who they are. So if you learn more about their music, games, friends, and trends, they will receive the message that you like them, not just love them.
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Teens need to be encouraged to take appropriate risks. Failure is a part of learning. They won’t succeed at everything they do and that is OK. This is the best time for them to learn these lessons.
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Invite them into spiritual adulthood. Give them the opportunity to make the faith their own.
Couple Discussion Questions
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Looking back on your teen years, do you love your “teen self”? How can you grow in this?
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List the names of your tweens and teens. What do you love about them? Share with your spouse and add to the list together.
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What are your concerns about your teens? Does your spouse have the same concerns? Why or why not?
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In what areas are you giving too much freedom? Where can you help your teen grow in independence?
Resources
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The Anxious Generation by Jonathan Haidt
IGen by Jean Twenge