MPF298: How to Really Love Your Teenager
Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family
Release Date: 08/26/2024
MPF 314: Seasons of Prayer for Parents
Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family
“Be patient with everyone, but above all with yourself. I mean do not be disheartened by your imperfections, but always rise up with fresh courage” - St. Francis deSales Summary What God asks of us as parents is beyond our ability. We are all in need of God’s grace and that comes through prayer! Now, before you think, “I do not have time for prayer….” take a pause and listen to this episode. First, remember, we have been there! We had 3 kids under 3, 7 kids under 10 and then 10 under 16! We know that the crazy pace of life can make us feel like we can never...
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MPF 313: Surviving the Holidays with Grace
Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family
Kids will not always remember what you say, they will remember how they felt. Summary We have talked about the time between Thanksgiving and New Year’s being the “Momolympics”, a time when there are tons of things to buy, make, prepare, plan, and basically the happiness of your children all depends on you (at least we feel that way!) How can parents embrace the holidays with children with grace and excitement? How can we keep in mind what is truly important for our family? In this episode we give some principles, but also LOTS of practical advice as we look...
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MPF 312: The Well Ordered Family
Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family
Graces can flow into your home when nature is in its proper place. - Connor Gallagher, The Well-Ordered Family Summary Do you yearn for more order and clarity within your family? Is the chaos and busyness of modern life unsettling the harmony of your household? In this podcast, we interview Conor Gallagher, CEO of multiple businesses and father of sixteen, to talk to him about a transformative system that will restore peace and joy in your household. We love using business principles to improve family life, and in the Well-Ordered Family, Conor does just that! Join us...
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MFP 311: Family Roots - Mike's Irish Experience
Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family
In this episode, we dive into the beauty and power of family history. Mike shares the incredible story of his journey to Ireland—a dream rooted in a deep love for his heritage and a promise to pass it on to his children. From the ruins of his grandfather’s cottage to the windswept cliffs of the Aran Islands, the trip becomes a testament to the importance of staying connected to the past while building a legacy for the future. As we reflect on the stories of those who came before us, we’re reminded of the sacrifices and struggles that shaped who we are today. Alicia and Mike discuss how...
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MPF 310: Marriage, Teamwork, and Business - an interview with Dan and Brenda Vansteenburg
Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family
“Guided and strengthened by God’s grace, husband and wife advance their own perfection… and contribute jointly to the glory of God” ~ Gaudium et Spes Summary You should never marry someone with the idea that you can change them, but we do need to help our spouses become the best version of themselves. We all should have a vision, a belief that our spouse can be amazing and then work with them for their good. In this podcast, we hear the inspiring story of Dan and Brenda - a couple from two different families, faith backgrounds, and life philosophies. Though they were...
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MPF 309: How Busy is Too Busy?
Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family
Show me your checkbook and your datebook and I will show you what you value Summary So much of what we talk about on this podcast really hits home when it comes to how we spend our time. Family dinner, date nights, prayer time, even mass comes down to making time to do it. Four things determine how we run our lives and our family - talent, money, energy and time. Every one has different amounts of energy and talent and money, but we all have the same amount of time! How we use it is what matters. In this podcast we discuss how to evaluate the activities in our...
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MPF 308: The Power of Asking for Forgiveness
Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family
“Genuine humility never disturbs the soul. Rather it is accompanied by peace, joy and calm” St. Theresa of Avila Summary What is the biggest problem in Catholic marriages? Although we appreciate good communication tools, marriage insights, and mentors - at the end of the day the biggest problem is simply a lack of holiness. One essential tool in our quest for holiness is learning how to ask for forgiveness. When we have conflict in our home, we all need to ask ourselves the question - what could I have done differently? When we take ownership in this...
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MFP 307: Navigating Family Life Challenges: Q&A with Real-Life Struggles and Faith-Filled Solutions
Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family
In this special Q&A episode, we dive into some of the most heartfelt questions from our listeners. From the complex question of whether to expand the family to grappling with grief, boundaries in marriage, and integrating elderly parents into a household, these issues strike at the core of family life. We also tackle how to balance the call to evangelize in a world that often conflicts with our values—especially when raising children in today’s cultural climate. Join us as we explore these tough topics with compassion, real-life insights, and guidance for finding peace, strength, and...
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MFP 306: What Teens/Tweens Really Need with Mark Hart
Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family
“It’s important that we remember to talk ‘to’ our kids, not ‘at’ them” - Mark Hart Summary Parents are rightly concerned today about the influence of the culture on their teens. As much as we would like to put our kids in a teflon bubble to shield them from the false fake culture of the world, it is just not possible! What do our kids need from us to prepare them for life? Join us in this podcast for a conversation with Mark Hart of Lifeteen - a speaker, author, and parent himself of teens and adult children. Mark gives us some great insights (and...
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MPF 305: Should You Correct Your Spouse?
Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family
It is better to dwell in a corner of the housetop than in a mansion with a quarrelsome wife. Proverbs 25:24 Summary All of us do things that annoy our spouse. Occasionally, we do things that hurt our spouse and vice versa. How do we communicate about these situations? Is it effective to tell them what they have done wrong? Is that what the scriptures tell us to do? In this episode, we discuss what it means to take “extreme ownership” of our own actions and emotions before trying to “fix” your spouse. We believe that the key to a strong...
info_outline“21% of teens said their #1 concern was not having enough time with their parents. Only 8% of parents said their #1 concern was not having enough time with their kids.” ― Meg Meeker
Summary
After 13 years of marriage we had six children and were pretty confident in our parenting. But when our oldest daughter became a teenager, we felt like we needed to learn how to parent all over again! This sweet 12 year old seemed to begin changing before our eyes and we had to pivot pretty quickly to learn what it was that she needed and what our new role was as parents. The teen years do not need to be horrible. In contrast, it should be the flowering of all the parenting you have done and an exciting time for you and your child! The question for parents is how do I learn how to love my child during this turbulent time of change from being a child to being an adult. In this episode, we give you some principles to remember and some practical things you can do to REALLY love your teenager.
Key Takeaways
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If you want your teen to grow in virtue and maturity, you must give them freedom. Parents of teens move from being a protector to being a coach.
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For teens who are forming their identity in relation to the world, their interests are equal with who they are. So if you learn more about their music, games, friends, and trends, they will receive the message that you like them, not just love them.
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Teens need to be encouraged to take appropriate risks. Failure is a part of learning. They won’t succeed at everything they do and that is OK. This is the best time for them to learn these lessons.
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Invite them into spiritual adulthood. Give them the opportunity to make the faith their own.
Couple Discussion Questions
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Looking back on your teen years, do you love your “teen self”? How can you grow in this?
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List the names of your tweens and teens. What do you love about them? Share with your spouse and add to the list together.
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What are your concerns about your teens? Does your spouse have the same concerns? Why or why not?
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In what areas are you giving too much freedom? Where can you help your teen grow in independence?
Resources
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The Anxious Generation by Jonathan Haidt
IGen by Jean Twenge