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MFP 320: Super Habits for the Family

Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family

Release Date: 02/10/2025

MFP 339: Movies, kids, and imagination show art MFP 339: Movies, kids, and imagination

Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family

"Fairy tales do not tell children the dragons exist. Children already know that dragons exist. Fairy tales tell children the dragons can be killed." - G.K. Chesterton   Summary Movies shape more than behavior — they form the imagination, the moral compass, and the heart. Catholic parents are not merely protecting innocence; they are cultivating virtue and wonder. In this episode, we explore how stories shape our children, how to choose wisely, and how to use movies as part of a rich Catholic family culture. Jesus used stories to teach. So do we.   Key Takeaways   Here are four...

info_outline MFP 338: Sharing the “Mental Load”? show art MFP 338: Sharing the “Mental Load”?

Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family

Motherhood changes you because it literally alters a woman’s brain—structurally, functionally, and in many ways, irreversibly. - Louann Brizendine, The Female Brain   Summary Women are gifted in a way that men are not.  Women can hold many different tasks in their mind at the same time, see the needs of others, and know the needs of the household and balance them all.  Sometimes this can feel empowering, but sometimes it's overwhelming, especially in times of great stress. In some circles, there is a call for men to share the “mental load”, but is that even...

info_outline MFP 337: The Invincible Family show art MFP 337: The Invincible Family

Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family

“True power is not dependent upon the invented honors of earth.  True power is that which guides, shapes, carves, and claims the souls of men.  And the souls of men are most often won and lost at the feet of mothers.” - Kimberly Ells   Summary Does it feel like its harder to be a parent today than ever before? There are powers arrayed against the family - powers in secular philosophies, modern politics, and even our education system.  The roots of these forces are deep and have been growing for years, but we are just now seeing their ugly fruit.  We would like you...

info_outline MFP 336: What Would You Say to Your Younger Self? An Interview with Suzanne Bilodeau show art MFP 336: What Would You Say to Your Younger Self? An Interview with Suzanne Bilodeau

Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family

God has selected you uniquely to be the mother for these children.  He will equip you for the work He wants you to do! Summary No one feels prepared to be a parent.  Even if you were one of the oldest of 10 kids in a Catholic family (like Alicia or Katie) or a family of 7 (like Suzanne) you can never really be ready!  The key to surviving, and even thriving, is stepping fully into your identity as a daughter of God.  All the love that we have for our spouse and children needs to come from a deep place of confident love from our Heavenly Father.  Listen in to this...

info_outline MFP 335: Safety-ism show art MFP 335: Safety-ism

Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family

'Cause I love you more than you could know And your heart, it grows every time it breaks I know that it might sound strange But I wish you pain  - “Wish You Pain” by Andy Grammar   Summary Every parent wants to keep their kids safe, but is it possible to keep them “too safe”?  In this podcast episode we dive into the overwhelming cult of safety-ism, which makes keeping your child from all pain and suffering an idol. Children are really “antifragile” - meaning that they need to have an appropriate amount of stress physically, mentally and emotionally to be able to...

info_outline MFP 334: An Addiction, a Marriage, and a Priest show art MFP 334: An Addiction, a Marriage, and a Priest

Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family

Our vows are for life, and we need overwhelming grace to live them out - Kevin Wells   Summary If you ever thought your marriage was in such bad shape that you simply did not know what to do, this podcast is for you.  We were so blessed to be able to talk to Kevin Wells, the author of The Hermit: The Priest Who Saved a Soul, a Marriage, and a Family.  This interview is deep because Kevin and his wife Krista have been through the fire together and it is only by the grace of God that they both survived.  Our discussion includes the indissolubility of the marriage vows, how...

info_outline MFP 333: The Family Meeting show art MFP 333: The Family Meeting

Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family

What is the rhythm of leadership in your family?   Summary Every relationship relies on communication, but when you operate as a family with many members, communication can become difficult!  Kids can get lost in the chaos, plans get forgotten, chores undone, and mom and dad are constantly putting out fires.  In comes the miracle of the Family Meeting!  Well, let’s rephrase that… A family meeting will not solve ALL your problems but it is a great step forward in leading your family and living life intentionally.  In this podcast, we discuss the REAL purpose of a...

info_outline MFP 332: The Seven Marks of Christian Forgiveness show art MFP 332: The Seven Marks of Christian Forgiveness

Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family

If forgiveness isn’t hard, you aren’t doing it right - Dan Meola Summary  Many parents struggle with their children--not because of the kids, but because of the wounds they are carrying from their own parents.  The only path for healing those wounds is forgiveness.  But how do we forgive, especially when the hurts are deep and real?  In this podcast we sat down with Dan Meola, the founder of Life Giving Wounds, a ministry for adult children of divorce.  We talked about the importance of forgiveness,  what it is--and what it is not.  To define true...

info_outline MFP 331: Let’s Talk About Husbands! Listener questions answered show art MFP 331: Let’s Talk About Husbands! Listener questions answered

Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family

“If we accept that God’s love is unconditional, that the Father’s love cannot be bought or sold, then we will become capable of showing boundless love and forgiving others even if they have wronged us” - Pope Francis in Amoris Laetitia Summary:  Becoming a husband and father is the biggest change a man goes through in his life.  There is simply no better “life-coaching” than family life!  But when men find their vocation difficult, it is usually their wives that they turn to or who observe this difficulty and have a desire to help.  In this podcast, we hear from...

info_outline MFP 330: What Will Your Children Remember? show art MFP 330: What Will Your Children Remember?

Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family

“You’re not just parenting your children… you are parenting your grandchildren”   Summary Have you ever walked through a thousand-year-old castle or along a wall built by Romans nearly a millennium ago? On a recent trip to the UK, we were struck by the longevity of these structures—and the intentionality behind them. They weren’t built to last a season, but centuries. In this episode, we challenge you to think the same way about your family culture. Are you parenting just for today… or are you building something that will bless your children, grandchildren, and...

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Summary

Have you ever wanted to stop yelling at your kids?  Be more courteous to your spouse?  Or be more orderly at home?  Enter Super Habits!  These are not just new things for you to learn to do, these are life-changing actions that will make you happier, healthier and more successful in many areas.  In this interview, we spoke to Dr. Andrew Abela, author of the book Super Habits and his wife Kathleen who explained to us how to apply this book to family life.  They gave us some great insights and showed us how Super Habits can be the answer to what we all need in our parenting and marriages.  And the best part is that these habits are already present in us, we just need to activate them.  Listen in! 

 

Key Takeaways

  • Every virtue is a habit anyone can cultivate, not just a characteristic or personality trait.  We can all grow and change. 

  • All new habits create new neurological pathways in our brains, but the advantage of Super Habits is that these are pathways that are native to us already, we already have the “muscles”; we just need to use them. 

  • Super habits do three things - they make us happier, healthier, and they have a positive effect on multiple areas of our lives.   

  • St. Thomas Aquinas has the best system of organizing the virtues! We all need fluency in the language of virtues. 

  • All growth in Super Habits is slow and steady so keep going! 

  • Virtue happens when we channel our desires correctly - not squash them. 

  • Growth in Super Habits is the answer to “helicopter” or “bulldozer” parenting 

  • We need to be aware of the full range of virtues for the full flourishing of the human person. 

 

Couple Discussion Questions

  • In what ways have we already developed some Super Habits?  How did we do that? 

  • What Super Habit will help us in our parenting?  How can we support each other in cultivating it?  



Resources

Beloved Event - arrayofhope.regfox.com/beloved