MFP 346: Jake & Heather Khym on Discipleship, Parenting, and Authentic Connection
Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family
Release Date: 08/18/2025
MFP 368: The Four Horsemen in Busy Marriages
Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family
"Couples often ignore each other’s emotional needs out of mindlessness, not malice." - Dr. John Gottman Summary Let's take an honest look at how communication breaks down in busy marriages and what you can do to stop it. Most couples don’t ignore each other out of malice, but out of exhaustion, distraction, and rushed daily life. In this episode, we unpack why communication is essential for growth and connection, and how unspoken assumptions quickly lead to misunderstandings. Drawing on Dr. John Gottman’s research, we break down the Four Horsemen of Communication - ...
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MFP 367: The Need for Belonging in Marriage
Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family
“Therefore a man leaves his father and his mother and clings to his wife, and they become one flesh.” Genesis 2:24 Summary In this episode, we talk about something every person longs for: belonging. At its heart, marriage is meant to be a place where you are chosen, known, and not easily walked away from. It’s a home base, the one relationship you freely choose, where staying matters more than being perfect. Belonging in marriage isn’t about constant agreement or effortless connection. It’s about knowing someone is still there when things are hard, awkward, or unfinished. Over time,...
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MFP 366: God is Love
Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family
"Love of neighbor is a path that leads to the encounter with God… closing our eyes to our neighbour also blinds us to God." - Pope Benedict XVI, God is Love Summary We begin with Love because marriage flows from our deepest identity and relationships, not just spousal dynamics. Created in the image of a loving, Triune God, we must first ask who God is and who we are in His eyes. Our relationship with God and with ourselves forms the foundation for loving others. Pope Benedict XVI’s God Is Love reveals that eros and agape are inseparable dimensions of love: we are made to give and...
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MFP 365: Five Ways to Begin Again
Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family
"Let us begin again, for until now we have done nothing," - Saint Francis of Assisi Summary As a new year begins, many of us focus on where we fell short instead of how we’ve grown. In this episode, Mike and Alicia invite parents and couples to reflect on the past year by celebrating the gains—not just the gaps—and to recognize the common traps that keep us stuck, like doing too much, being too busy, comparing ourselves to others, or letting our loves get out of order. From there, they share five foundational ways to begin again and make this year better—not perfect, but better:...
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MFP 364: Live Intentionally in 2026
Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family
Summary This episode revisits one of the most helpful and down-to-earth conversations on the Messy Family Podcast: Family Board Meeting 2.0. It starts with a simple but challenging idea. We put a lot of thought into our jobs, but when it comes to family life, many of us are just trying to keep up. Between work, kids’ schedules, and everyday stress, it’s easy to drift into survival mode. A Family Board Meeting is a chance to pause, breathe, and get back on the same page. It’s not about being perfect or fixing everything. It’s about choosing to lead your family with intention. The...
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MFP 363: Growing Up Hernon - What it's like in a large, loud, loving family
Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family
Summary What’s it really like growing up in a big family? In this special Hernon kids takeover podcast, Mike and Alicia’s children gather around the mic to tell the honest, funny, and heartfelt story of their upbringing. From loud dinner tables and sibling fights to deep bonds, meaningful traditions, and moments of feeling unseen, the Hernon siblings share what shaped them—for better and for worse. They talk openly about the challenges of a large family, how sibling relationships filled the gaps when parents were stretched thin, and why intentional traditions mattered more...
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MFP 362: Choosing to Be Wrong Together, Over Being Right Alone
Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family
Your decisions may not always be perfect, but you can choose to make them together. Summary In this week’s podcast, we dive into one of the most important truths for married couples: you will never make a perfect decision—but you can choose unity. Today’s culture urges us to optimize everything with hacks, experts, and AI, yet the real power in family life comes from spouses acting together. We share our own stories of big decisions—moves, career changes, even grad school—and how waiting for unity brought peace and strength to our home. Join us as we unpack how to stay united:...
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MFP 361: The Story of All Stories: Catholic Parenting & Hospitality with Emily Stimpson Chapman
Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family
“Hospitality and real community starts by inviting people into your messy home…” Summary In this episode, Mike and Alicia sit down with best-selling Catholic author Emily Stimpson Chapman to talk about Advent, Storybook for young Catholics, and the beauty of simple hospitality. Emily shares the real, lived rhythms of Advent in her home—reminding parents that peace and prayerfulness grow best when traditions are tied to everyday routines and kept flexible, not burdensome. Emily also introduces her newest work, The Story of All Stories, a beautifully crafted children’s...
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MFP 360: Don't be Afraid of Screwing Up Your Kids (because you already are!)
Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family
“Learning how to trust God and let go of our fears, worries, and frustrations is the best way to model peace for our children.” — Dr. Gregory Bottaro Summary This week on the Messy Family Podcast, we are joined by Dr. Greg Bottaro for a heartfelt and practical conversation every parent needs to hear. In this interview, Dr. Greg explains why kids are not naturally built to listen and why so many of us parents end up frustrated. His solution is simple and hopeful. Get clear on the rulebook you grew up with, compare it with your spouse’s, and build a shared one that gives your...
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MFP 359: How to Choose Toys for Christmas
Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family
"Baby Jesus was an amazing surprise to the world on Christmas morning, and gifts under the tree remind us of that wondrous gift each year." - Regina Doman Summary Mothers create the environment of the home by what we allow in our house, how we arrange our home, and where things are kept. We are teaching our children all the time, not just by what we say and do, but the home that we create for our families. We communicate what we value and what we want our children to learn by the "stuff" in our home. Moms have to be thoughtful and intentional about this. Listen into this...
info_outline"Discipleship isn’t about perfection—it’s about intimacy with Jesus. He is drawn to our weakness, not our strength." - Jake Khym
Summary
In this deeply insightful episode, Jake and Heather Khym explore one of the greatest challenges facing Catholics today: true discipleship. They share how the heart of a disciple embraces God as a good Father who desires intimacy over perfection. You'll hear powerful wisdom on parenting—letting go of the lie that we must “save” our children—and embracing our need for God. The Khyms also unpack how to navigate emotional overwhelm by slowing down and seeing ourselves through God’s eyes. Learn practical tools to build empathy and connection in marriage, like listening without judgment, advice, or blame. Finally, discover why we all need spiritual community throughout every stage of life. This episode is packed with grace, truth, and encouragement—don’t miss it!
Key Takeaways
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The most significant challenge among Catholics today is discipleship. The heart of a disciple believes that God is a good Father.
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Jesus is not looking for us to be perfect or do everything right; instead, He desires intimacy with us. He is drawn to our weakness.
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Parents need to be aware of the heresy that we are our children’s saviors. We are not. They need God more than they need us.
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When we are overwhelmed by our emotions, we need first to slow down. Then see ourselves as God sees us.
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In building connection and empathy with our spouses, ask them to share with us their story, and then we need to hear that story without JAB - no judgment, advice, or blame.
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We all tend to be self-reliant, and that is why we need community at every stage, every season in our lives.
Couple Discussion Questions
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On your next date night, take some time to hear the story of your spouse. This may be something that you think about ahead of time and prepare for. Sharing hearts and vulnerability in this way is key to a deeper relationship.
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How can we work at seeing ourselves and each other with the eyes of the Father? How can we see as God sees?