MFP 360: Don't be Afraid of Screwing Up Your Kids (because you already are!)
Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family
Release Date: 12/01/2025
MFP 378: Training Children to Master Themselves
Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family
There is a need for a crusade of manliness and purity to counteract and nullify the savage work of those who think man is a beast. And that crusade is your work. ~St. Josemaría Escrivá Summary How do you talk to your kids about purity without turning it into a list of rules and constant “no’s”? Join us for this conversation with Fr. Carter Griffin about the importance of purity and self-mastery. This episode invites parents to shift the focus to what purity says yes to: love, freedom, and a future built on integrity. We discuss why teens demand authenticity and how...
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MFP 377: When Kids Take Control: What To Do and How to Stop It
Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family
When I stopped trying to fix or change my child, and explored my own role in fostering bullying behaviors, I found the answers I needed. These behaviors were a direct consequence of my own insecurities. - Sean Grover, Ph.D. Summary Parents often make excuses for their children’s outrageous behavior, whether it's a preschooler’s tantrum or a teen’s sullen refusal to do what he or she has been asked. Children who become unmanageable or verbally abusive to their parents are, in fact, bullies, although most parents don’t think of these behaviors in that way. Maybe they should. Key...
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MFP 376: Raising Kids Without Raising Your Voice
Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family
The most effective parents aren’t the loudest—they’re the most consistent. Summary Why do we yell at our kids, even when we know it doesn't work? In this episode, we unpack the hard truth behind yelling in parenting: it's often not a discipline strategy, but a reaction to stress, frustration, and lack of follow-through. While it may get quick results, it slowly weakens our authority and damages connection with our kids. We talk about why yelling becomes a habit, what it's actually teaching our children, and how to replace it with calmer, more effective discipline. You'll walk away...
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MFP 375: The Family and the Sexual Revolution
Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family
“The sexual revolution was not about freedom. It was about transferring power from families to the state.” - Dr. Jennifer Roback Morse Summary What really makes a family essential, and why does it matter so much right now? In this episode, Dr. Jennifer Roback Morse makes a compelling, research-based case for why children need both their mother and their father. We explore the irreplaceable role of mothers in forming trust and attachment, the unique responsibility of fathers to provide protection, limits, and direction, and how these roles evolve as children grow. You’ll hear why...
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MFP 374: Raising Kids Who Know Who They Are
Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family
Summary How do we help our children discover the gift that they are? In this episode, we explore the powerful cycle of identity, belonging, and mission—and how it unfolds across the key stages of childhood. From the early years of wonder and dependence, to the exploratory middle years, to the identity-shaping teen years, we unpack what children need most at each phase—and how parents can respond with confidence. We dive into how children develop their gifts, navigate friendships, and grow into their sexual identity, as we highlight the unique role parents play—not as controllers,...
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MFP 373: Parenting is Your Mission
Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family
Summary There is so much noise in the world of parenting today, and it’s easy to feel overwhelmed by pressure, comparison, and fear. In this episode, Mike and Alicia remind parents that there is not just one way to raise a family well. God has given you the grace for your mission, and your job is not to control your children or guarantee outcomes. Your call is to build a strong marriage, create a healthy home, communicate your values, and allow God to use family life to make you holy. Parenting is not about perfection — it is about faithfulness. Key Takeaways There is not just one right...
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MFP 372: Prayer for Beginners - Interview with the Science of Sainthood
Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family
"Without a life of prayer, you are really not living as a Catholic" - Matt Leonard Summary What does it really mean to “go deeper” in prayer? And what if you pray every day but don’t feel anything? This week we’re joined by Matthew Leonard, founder of The Science of Sainthood, to talk about what real spiritual growth looks like. We break down the three modes of prayer, vocal, meditation, and contemplation, and how they form a path to holiness. Matthew shares practical steps for building a daily habit of mental prayer, handling distractions, and creating space for silence....
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MFP 371: How Vulnerability Is Built in Small Moments
Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family
Love is not a feeling. It's a daily choice, a habit practiced proactively. Summary What if intimacy isn’t built in the big moments, but in the small ones you almost miss? In this episode, we explore the idea of bids for connection, the everyday ways we reach for each other through a question, a touch, a story, or even a glance across the room. We talk about what happens when those bids are noticed and met with kindness, and what slowly unfolds when they are ignored. You’ll hear how responsiveness, presence, and emotional generosity shape trust, passion, and long-term happiness...
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MFP 370: The Path to Healing our Broken Hearts
Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family
There is nothing that the power of the resurrection cannot redeem in your life. - Fr. Shawn Monahan Summary What do we do with the wounds we carry, especially in marriage? In this powerful episode, Fr. Shawn Monahan shares a trauma-informed vision of spirituality that meets us in our real stories. We’re all wounded, some more deeply than others, and healing begins with honest self-knowledge, self-acceptance, and inviting Christ into our pain. Fr. Shawn explains how our desires are shaped for good, how sin is seeking that good in the wrong ways, and why shame keeps us stuck....
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MFP 369: Marriages Don’t Accidentally Communicate Well
Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family
You can't have a healthy relationship if you don't develop the skill of communication. Summary Marriage doesn’t drift into great communication. You have to make the time and practice on purpose. In this episode, we share simple, realistic tools to help couples break bad habits and start talking in ways that actually bring them closer. You’ll learn how to listen without fixing, reduce daily stress through connection and fun, and build rituals that create space for meaningful conversation. We talk about appreciation, gentle ways to start hard conversations, and why prayer...
info_outline“Learning how to trust God and let go of our fears, worries, and frustrations is the best way to model peace for our children.”
— Dr. Gregory Bottaro
Summary
This week on the Messy Family Podcast, we are joined by Dr. Greg Bottaro for a heartfelt and practical conversation every parent needs to hear. In this interview, Dr. Greg explains why kids are not naturally built to listen and why so many of us parents end up frustrated. His solution is simple and hopeful. Get clear on the rulebook you grew up with, compare it with your spouse’s, and build a shared one that gives your children a steady sense of security. We talk about unity in marriage, how it shapes a child’s emotional world, and why kids feel safest when mom and dad stand together. Dr. Gregg also breaks down attachment parenting, pointing out what helps, what stresses families, and why connection between parents matters more than perfect technique. Listen in to get tools for handling anxiety and staying grounded. You will walk away encouraged, supported, and ready to grow as a family (we were!).
Key Takeaways
Children are not naturally built to listen
Their brains are still developing, so parents need realistic expectations and a shared rulebook to guide family life with consistency.
Parental unity creates a child’s secure base
A cohesive marriage provides emotional safety. When parents stand together, children regulate better, feel protected, and thrive.
Attachment parenting works best when parents are connected to each other
The focus should not be on perfect techniques, but on calm, present, regulated parents who work as a team.
Faith and community strengthen parenting
Trust in divine providence and a grounded spiritual life help parents grow in emotional maturity.
Catholic mindfulness reduces anxiety
Mindful presence, paired with trust in God, reshapes anxious brain patterns. Even a few minutes a day can improve decision making, calm fears about parenting, and support healthier family relationships.
Couple Discussion Questions
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What were our "rulebooks" from our families when we were growing up? How can we create our own rulebook for our family?
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When do we feel most united in our parenting? When do we feel most divided?