MFP 360: Don't be Afraid of Screwing Up Your Kids (because you already are!)
Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family
Release Date: 12/01/2025
MFP 360: Don't be Afraid of Screwing Up Your Kids (because you already are!)
Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family
“Learning how to trust God and let go of our fears, worries, and frustrations is the best way to model peace for our children.” — Dr. Gregory Bottaro Summary This week on the Messy Family Podcast, we are joined by Dr. Greg Bottaro for a heartfelt and practical conversation every parent needs to hear. In this interview, Dr. Greg explains why kids are not naturally built to listen and why so many of us parents end up frustrated. His solution is simple and hopeful. Get clear on the rulebook you grew up with, compare it with your spouse’s, and build a shared one that gives your...
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MFP 359: How to Choose Toys for Christmas
Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family
"Baby Jesus was an amazing surprise to the world on Christmas morning, and gifts under the tree remind us of that wondrous gift each year." - Regina Doman Summary Mothers create the environment of the home by what we allow in our house, how we arrange our home, and where things are kept. We are teaching our children all the time, not just by what we say and do, but the home that we create for our families. We communicate what we value and what we want our children to learn by the "stuff" in our home. Moms have to be thoughtful and intentional about this. Listen into this...
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MFP 358: Thriving, not just surviving with lots of littles
Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family
Summary Are you exhausted, overwhelmed, or wondering whether you’re doing anything right as a parent of little ones? You’re not alone — and you’re not crazy. In this refreshed and expanded episode, Mike and Alicia revisit their classic “Survival Zone” conversation with new insights from another decade of parenting and now grandparenting. They unpack why the early years are so intense, what’s normal (hint: your exhaustion), how marriage is stretched during this season, and how moms and dads can support each other through the chaos. You’ll hear practical advice on setting...
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MFP 357: Marriage Q&A: When It Feels Hard, How Do You Stay Connected?
Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family
In this honest Q&A episode, Mike and Alicia answer real questions from listeners about the struggles every couple faces – feeling distant, managing conflict, and staying united when life gets stressful. They talk about what to do when your marriage feels dry or disconnected, how to rebuild emotional intimacy, and how humility, forgiveness, and shared prayer can bring healing. With humor and wisdom from decades of marriage and mentoring, they offer hope for couples who want to grow together, not just stay together. Couples Discussion Questions What should I do when my spouse seems...
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MFP 356: Twenty Minutes to Change a Kid's Life – the Importance of Family Dinners
Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family
Families need to disconnect from the world’s pace, be present to one another and break bread together. - Bishop Thomas Olmstead Summary Why are family dinners so hard — and so important? In our latest Messy Family Podcast episode, we get real about the chaos of mealtime: the cooking, the planning, the juggling schedules, picky eaters, and the endless cleanup. But we also share the good news — it doesn’t have to be perfect to matter. Family meals aren’t just about food. They’re a time to build identity, teach traditions, and give your kids a sense of belonging. Research shows...
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MFP 355: Making Your Marriage #1
Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family
Summary In this re-release of Episode MFP191, we open up about one of the biggest challenges every couple faces—finding time for each other in the midst of busy family life. After 31 years of marriage, we’ve learned that love doesn’t just grow on its own; it takes intention and effort because although our marriages are always Important, they are rarely Urgent. In this episode, we share our own stories, some laughs, and practical ways to stay connected—whether through daily check-ins, regular date nights, or an occasional weekend away. We also talk about how to make this happen...
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MFP354: How Can I Have a Relationship with God?
Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family
"Being Christian is not the result of an ethical choice or a lofty idea, but the encounter with an event, a person, which gives life a new horizon and a decisive direction." - Pope Benedict XVI Summary Every one of us is on a journey towards eternity. Our life here on earth, our vocation, our careers, our relationships are all just ways that we can grow in our knowledge of ourselves and of God. But many of us struggle to learn how we can stretch ourselves and prioritize our own spiritual growth. In this podcast, we share our own stories of conversation moments and how...
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MFP 353: Why are Kids so Anxious?
Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family
Summary Why are today’s kids more anxious than ever before? Mike and Alicia dive into the growing epidemic of anxiety among children and teens – and how modern parenting, technology, and culture all play a role. Drawing insights from Jonathan Haidt’s The Anxious Generation, they explore what happens when we overprotect kids in the real world but underprotect them online. From overscheduled lives and endless screen time to lack of sleep, nutrition, and authentic relationships, today’s children are under tremendous pressure. But there’s hope. The Hernons share concrete, faith-filled...
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MFP 352: Laughter and Limits in the Family with Dr. Ray
Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family
Take your calling seriously and yourself lightly Summary Are you taking parenting a little too seriously? In this episode, we dive into why families need to throw off the burden of “psychological correctness” and rediscover the gift of humor. Parenting isn’t a project—it’s a wild, messy adventure! We’ll share why secure parents can laugh at their mistakes, how to set healthy limits at your table, and how to teach kids the difference between fun teasing and disrespect. Most of all, we’ll remind you that your children are a never-ending source of laugh-worthy moments. ...
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MFP 351: Why Parents Need to Lead, Not Just Accompany
Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family
Summary Parenting isn't just about being present—it's about leading with purpose because children need guidance, not just companionship. In this episode, we start by looking at some quotes from celebrity parents to examine how they are misguided. The reality is that parents are called to protect, not simply please. And we each have different roles: fathers embodying hope and authority, mothers offering love and intuition. Both are crucial, and when either dominates too much, imbalance follows—leading to fragility or rigidity. We need to recognize our children’s gifts and desires...
info_outline“Learning how to trust God and let go of our fears, worries, and frustrations is the best way to model peace for our children.”
— Dr. Gregory Bottaro
Summary
This week on the Messy Family Podcast, we are joined by Dr. Greg Bottaro for a heartfelt and practical conversation every parent needs to hear. In this interview, Dr. Greg explains why kids are not naturally built to listen and why so many of us parents end up frustrated. His solution is simple and hopeful. Get clear on the rulebook you grew up with, compare it with your spouse’s, and build a shared one that gives your children a steady sense of security. We talk about unity in marriage, how it shapes a child’s emotional world, and why kids feel safest when mom and dad stand together. Dr. Gregg also breaks down attachment parenting, pointing out what helps, what stresses families, and why connection between parents matters more than perfect technique. Listen in to get tools for handling anxiety and staying grounded. You will walk away encouraged, supported, and ready to grow as a family (we were!).
Key Takeaways
Children are not naturally built to listen
Their brains are still developing, so parents need realistic expectations and a shared rulebook to guide family life with consistency.
Parental unity creates a child’s secure base
A cohesive marriage provides emotional safety. When parents stand together, children regulate better, feel protected, and thrive.
Attachment parenting works best when parents are connected to each other
The focus should not be on perfect techniques, but on calm, present, regulated parents who work as a team.
Faith and community strengthen parenting
Trust in divine providence and a grounded spiritual life help parents grow in emotional maturity.
Catholic mindfulness reduces anxiety
Mindful presence, paired with trust in God, reshapes anxious brain patterns. Even a few minutes a day can improve decision making, calm fears about parenting, and support healthier family relationships.
Couple Discussion Questions
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What were our "rulebooks" from our families when we were growing up? How can we create our own rulebook for our family?
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When do we feel most united in our parenting? When do we feel most divided?