Episode 6 - A Man is Not a Financial Plan

Episode 6 –

A Man Is Not a Financial Plan – and why men should care

 

Years ago I came upon an awesome bumper stick put out by the Women’s Institute of Financial Education, or WIFE. (You can find them at www.WIFE.ORG  ) And they have a free bumper sticker that reads, ‘A Man is Not a Financial Plan.’

This is not meant as a slight towards your partner. It is instead a wake-up call for women to take some control of money and finance.

Let’s face it, it’s not just you who may not have this high on your list of priorities, this financial stuff. But ignorance isn’t a good place to be, either.

I was waiting for an appointment at my doctor’s office and picked up the People magazine where I read about a famous and seemingly strong woman news anchor. She and her husband were getting a divorce. She had been making millions of dollars every year as a woman at the top of her field, and assumed they were financially awesome.

Well, she assumed wrong. In fact, she had very little left. The court documents alleged

“…that Cohen, 59, had spun “a Byzantine web” of investments and refused to disclose specifics, Zahn’s attorneys say that she is now “readying to assume responsibility for her own financial security.” *

 

Looking from the outside, we probably wouldn’t have guessed that this was what was happening. That this strong and capable women was not really keeping track of her finances.

But there’s another reason to know what’s going on than because of the unlikely possibility of mismanagement. Men don’t want to do the financial management alone. Their biology doesn’t make them financial advisors or wealth managers, and your input matters a great deal.

I’ve spoken with couples and the husband is often very interested in having a partner to help figure things out.  Probably neither of you have gone to school for this or necessarily feel like experts in the field. So both of you, working together, make a more balanced pair than one carrying all the weight.

Look, I understand the division of roles. We do that here, too. Neither of us are great at every task needed to run a family – though we do both cook and bake pretty well.

We even separate the financial jobs for the household. But we discuss what’s happening in every aspect of our finances. We both are very aware of bank balances, of spending plans, of investments, etc.

And you should be, too. Aware. Informed. Taking part. Being a voice. You don’t have to know how compound interest works to have the common sense needed to make a financial map for your family. You have a good brain. You know baloney when you see it.  And you bring a different perspective that is what makes you two so good together.

And if you are doing things by yourself for your family, get yourself to a financial institution or to a knowledgeable friend who can be your coach or financial bud, to help you stay balanced in your own plan.

We are all quirky and have fears and tendencies.  If you’re married, we have a built-in person to balance out your wonkiness. If you aren’t married, grab a bud with whom you feel safe, and have lunch together occasionally to keep the quirks in line with reasonableness.

Whatever you do, don’t think you’re off the hook for having a basic idea of what’s going on with your money. You don’t have to be an expert in every aspect of this. But you do have to take responsibility for your grownup self and be involved.

Love yourself enough to take a role in this. Honor your relationship enough to stand together and carry your weight.

*

https://people.com/archive/unhappy-ending-vol-68-no-11/