Libsyn Directory

Episode 69: Book Recommendations for The Widowed

Release Date: 09/07/2021

Episode 96: Ride Or Die: Loving Through Tragedy, A Husband's Memoir (3 of 3)

My Spouse Died Too

The last doctor visit, and why Jane’s doctor cries. Hope discussion. Did Jarie have a hope stopping point, like I did? What love is. Jane’s last written words, delivered to Jarie, after Jane dies. Now, how Jarie lives each day, even if it’s a shytty day. Try this. Love after Jane. Is soon, too soon? Define soon. Dating and guilt. No one else knows your path. If you’re uncertain (scared to death) about dating, hear what Jarie says, because you might not have another shot. Quitting substances (except caffeine and orange-glazed scones). Jarie specifies his...

Episode 95: Ride Or Die: Loving Through Tragedy, A Husband's Memoir (2 of 3)

My Spouse Died Too

Vaping to cope. THC and CBD. Jane needs Jarie to be her ROCK. Failure lump in Jarie’s throat. The feeling…how anxiety and stress manifest themselves. When Jarie, the man who loves a plan, asks himself “How am I going to fix this?” And then realizes “I can’t fix this!” Chemotherapy ravages—Jarie buzzes off Jane’s long black hair. Freezing your embryos. Jarie and I have a gut-wrenching intimate discussion. Discussing death with your dying spouse. So hard. How a guardian angel social worker puts things into clear focus. Jarie describes the best gift he’s ever had:...

Episode 94: Ride Or Die: Loving Through Tragedy, A Husband's Memoir (1 of 3)

My Spouse Died Too

If you marry, and mark your day with ceremony, you might include these wedding vows: To have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love, cherish, and to obey, till death do us part. Half-easy to recite, but fulfill—a Sisyphean effort. Widowed guest co-host and author Jarie Bolander joins us. Jarie’s book is titled: Ride Or Die: Loving Through Tragedy, A Husband’s Memoir. Jarie’s memoir, a poignant tribute to his late spouse Jane, is a testament to the power of love and commitment those exact wedding...

Episode 93: My Husband Died. Damn It. (3 of 3)

My Spouse Died Too

Gut-busting, emphatic, grand finale. First, listen someplace where it’s safe to pee your pants. Why Susan’s Uber driver advises her to lock the hotel door and under no circumstances come out until morning. Pretending all is okay--when it’s not. Telling your family to shut the fuctuplets up. Is God kept on retainer? The High School Provocative Classmates Widow Group. Susan Can’t imagine falling in love again. Oh God, I’m blushing. Can you say vi-vi-vibrators? Life’s three stages according to Susan: what sex, food, and bowel movements have in common. Women pee their...

Episode 92: My Husband Died. Damn It. (2 of 3)

My Spouse Died Too

Morphine, ahhhhh. Mark’s last days. Wait, what about Sofie, Mark’s dying dog? The last goodbye. Mark and Sofie wear American football team Green Bay Packers sweatshirts. From the Woo Woo and Taboo Department: before Susan’s birth, her mom bore a son. He died at birth. Like a shameful secret, never discussed. So how does Susan’s four-year-old son know about Susan’s late infant brother? Now alone, Susan says “F#@k it, I don’t want to cook!” After Mark dies, Susan is pissed off at Mark. Susan discusses the metaphorical burden she carries and how she sheds it. Living alone...

Episode 91: My Husband Died. Damn It. (1 of 3)

My Spouse Died Too

Widowed dynamo Susan Yelton jumps into action as my guest co-host in this first episode of a whirl-wind 3 part series. The series makes you: question, agree, cry, laugh, piss you off, shake your head and your fist, say oh my gosh, and holy shyt. Susan even makes me blush! In a later episode we talk about sexuality…just listen for yourself. You hear me turn red. A Baptist preacher’s daughter, at age 16, Susan meets Mark. A long-haired guitar-strumming 19-year-old. Akin to a 60’s folk singer. Instantly in love. Three years later they marry, and stay that way for fifty-two years until...

Episode 90: My Ex Died. Grief Ambushed Me. (3 of 3)

My Spouse Died Too

“Are you sitting down?” When you answer your phone and the caller says this, does lousy news always ensue? Kady ruminates over how to deliver bad news to her teen daughter. Grief ambushes Kady. Kady details her what-ifs. Mourning what you thought could be. What Kady believes causes her grief—an eloquent explanation. Can death deliver relief? Kady’s fear-filled recurring nightmare about Mikey. If you haven't listened to Parts 1 or 2, link here: More EX grief stories? Listen to my sister Vickey's episode 11: . (Vickey grieves the loss of an ex-husband. Ken,...

Episode 89: My Ex Died. Grief Ambushed Me. (2 of 3)

My Spouse Died Too

Kady gives Mikey an ultimatum. Mother’s little helper (the Xanax kind). Granting extra chances (breaking boundaries to stanch your pain and unease?) Kady says, “I don’t need a man." Meet Kady's condominium complex busybody matchmaker, aka, Miss Pat. Wisdom from grandma. A suicide threat. Might Kady move in with a man? A poignant proposal. And Kady gets an unforeseen telephone call about her ex, Mikey. If you haven't listened to Part 1, here's the link: More grief from an Ex? Then here's the link to my sister Vickey's episode 11: Yes, and... Before you split, Because you shouldn't...

Episode 88: My Ex Died. Grief Ambushed Me. (1 of 3)

My Spouse Died Too

You might label Kady’s Ex a “major dyck head.” Today, Kady and her new husband celebrate ten-plus years with two kids—a teen and a five-year-old. (The Ex fathered Kady’s teen). And then Kady’s Ex dies. Grief ambushes Kady. Secretly grieving, Kady struggles to make sense of it. Embarrassment and shame pile on. Kady doesn’t want to tell anyone. And why might someone grieve the death of a major dyck head? This three-part series details awkward young love, endearing qualities, substance abuse, loss of innocence, teen pregnancy, immaturity, growing up too...

Episode 87: LOSS and GRIEF: Personal Stories of Doctors and Other Healthcare Professionals (2 of 2)

My Spouse Died Too

Welcome to part 2: Loss and Grief Personal Stories of Doctors and Other Healthcare Professionals, with my guest co-host Linda Klein. Linda is co-editor of the book Loss and Grief Personal Stories of Doctors and Other Healthcare Professionals. I shamelessly ripped off the book’s title for the podcast episode title because it makes sense. If you haven’t listened to part 1, please do that first to avoid brain freeze. Here's the . In this final episode, we pick up where we left off from part one. I finish reading a once-upon-a-time story and then read one more tremendous story of spousal...

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Four book recommendations for the widowed.

Three authors have been on the podcast as widowed guest co-hosts. The fourth author is not widowed. Her book was recommended to me by one of the widowed guest co-hosts.

Now, I’m not going to have an author on the show if I won’t recommend their book. That would be awkward.

And I only recommend books I have read.

When I read, I underline. Write notes and questions in the margins. If I feel the book gives enough value (sorry I can’t define enough), I’ll book a recording appointment with the author.

Before I have the author on the podcast, I reread the book and make 8 to 12 pages of handwritten notes for a podcast recording session.

I’ll never recommend something to you if I don’t feel it delivers value. Value is subjective, and your definition of value is probably different than mine.

To me, a non-fiction book delivers value if I get something out of it. For instance, an actionable tactic, or a different way of looking at a problem. Or something exhilarates me. Helps me heal. For me, the list goes on.

I’ll never make a recommendation if I don’t feel it delivers value.

Okay—Back to the books, the authors are from different walks of life and a wide age range—30’s and up. Big city to a small rural town. All in the United States.

All the authors are female. Refreshing for me as a male—these books come with an added bonus. Because you get insight into women. Their perspective, thoughts, challenges, fears, emotional needs, and wants. What’s important in their relationships and more.

In other words, how to treat women. I wholeheartedly believe understanding and acting on it will make you a better listener, friend, lover, partner, or spouse.

The overall theme with all the widowed authors' books is with their story, their experience, and in some cases, their professional expertise--they want to help others. That’s you and me.

Like you (I know that’s an assumption), the widowed authors didn’t want to be part of the widowed community, but what I see is they choose to find meaning in their suffering—beauty in their odyssey.

And they summon the courage to write and share intimate details with you—in the hope of helping you, to feel seen—to feel heard.

To give you hope so you can heal, find love again, and give grief the middle finger.

Links for the authors' books, websites, and podcast episodes are below. Most of the authors have more resources on their websites. Resources you might find valuable.

If you are a member of the MSDToo community email list, that’s where you get Behind-The-Scenes details and Show Alerts, I’ll email you details and all the links so you can click to your heart's content.

And … if you’re not a member of the My Spouse Died Too community email list, consider joining. Takes less than 32 seconds. Join at myspousediedtoo.com.

I recommend you read the books, then listen to the respective episodes to get a powerful feel for the widowed author. For me, that’s a selfish pleasure I get from reading the book, then hearing and seeing the author live!

Thanks for listening. Links are below.

Book 1

Boldly Into The Darkness: Living with Loss, Growing with Grief & Holding onto Happiness by Autumn Toelle-Jackson

This link above is to Autumn Toelle-Jackson's website with resources and her book.

Autumn's Podcast Episodes: 43 44 45 46

Book 2

the rebellious WIDOW: A Practical Guide to Love and Life After Loss by Jill Johnson-Young, LCSW

Jill Johnson-Young's website

Jill's website has tons of resources.

Jill's Podcast Episodes: 51 52 53

Book 3

The Good Widow: A Memoir of Living with Loss by Jennifer Katz, PhD