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Is Perfectionism Stopping You?

Own Your Choices Own Your Life

Release Date: 06/17/2022

Do You Listen When Your Intuition Speaks? show art Do You Listen When Your Intuition Speaks?

Own Your Choices Own Your Life

In this episode, I want to talk about the power of listening to your intuition and do you trust it to let it guide you?  Our intuition is our internal compass, it is sending us signals to what to say yes or no to, what to follow and what to stay away from.  I have had so many experiences in my lifetime where my intuition has spoken to me, and now that I understand more of my human design, this makes so much more sense. The problem is that our intuition rarely “makes sense”, so expecting it to make sense only blocks it further. In this episode, we discuss: 1) Learning to listen to...

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Vulnerability Opens Doors with Kevin Palmieri show art Vulnerability Opens Doors with Kevin Palmieri

Own Your Choices Own Your Life

Today we are speaking with Speaker and Podcaster, Kevin Palmieri. Kevin is the founder and co-host of the Next Level University podcast. Early in his life, Kevin found “success”, but after a brush with suicide he realized he wasn´t living a life he truly wanted. He became passionate about self improvement and decided to make it his purpose in life to impact as many people as possible by becoming a role model podcaster and speaker. He has succeeded to make his podcast one of the top 100 with over 950 episodes and listened in over 120 countries.  He has taken his life to the next level...

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Who Is Doing Your Programming? show art Who Is Doing Your Programming?

Own Your Choices Own Your Life

In this episode, I want to talk about your programming and who is in charge of it?  So many times we fall into the space of being a victim of our circumstances, feeling like we don’t have a choice with what is happening or we are feeling this constant push of not working enough, giving ourselves criticism for taking downtime and working with our brain that is always onto the next thing. We are actually being the thief of our own peace.  Comparison is the thief of joy, yet we tend to be the thief of our own peace by not calling attention to the programming that is going on in our...

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The Missing Piece Of Celebration show art The Missing Piece Of Celebration

Own Your Choices Own Your Life

In this episode, I want to share some thoughts on learning to celebrate our “failures” not just our wins.  Failures (whatever definition you give it) are part of the equation and you will never build a business without some major flops, mishaps and mistakes.  It will never happen.  Plus combine the fact that you won’t be the same person in 1 month, 6 months or 1 year, so what works today is not guaranteed to work tomorrow.  In this episode, we discuss: 1)  Social media is a highlight reel and it is a snapshot in time of where you currently are at this...

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Reprogram For Success With Janet Elaine Schmidt show art Reprogram For Success With Janet Elaine Schmidt

Own Your Choices Own Your Life

Today we are speaking with Business and Life Coach and Healer, Janet Elaine Schmidt.  Janet is the Creator of "Reprogram For Success" and for a decade has been a practical yet potent Quantum Consciousness Accelerator™, Integrative Holistic Healing Facilitator, and Business Coach  Board Certifications: Neuro-Linguistic Programming Practitioner, NLP Life Coach, Hypnotherapy. Additional Certifications: Eye Movement Integration, Advanced PSYCH-K®, Advanced ThetaHealing™, and the list goes on.. More importantly, Janet discovered by using four techniques, one could change one's belief...

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Thrive by Making, Evaluating and Celebrating Your Choices show art Thrive by Making, Evaluating and Celebrating Your Choices

Own Your Choices Own Your Life

Today we are speaking with Magical Kids Book Creator, Timothy Stuetz. Timothy has written more children’s stories than anyone alive.  Over 86 to date with many more coming.   He’s a Certified Self Esteem Coach for Children; Creator of "Power Animal Frolics for Children;” and a Children's and Family Educator who has developed programs for the State of California and private foundations.   He is also a Master of Ancient Arts and Sacred Sciences, including multiple forms of meditation, qigong, t’ai chi, yoga, Reiki and Quantum Energetics which he has been using to...

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Choose to Be the Bigger Person show art Choose to Be the Bigger Person

Own Your Choices Own Your Life

In this episode, I share some on choosing to be the bigger person, especially when we are being pushed in a way that is against your values, who you are and what you stand for.  We can always choose how we respond. In this episode, we discuss: 1)  The social media space can really push buttons.  Pay attention to how it makes you feel,who is on your feed, what you are consuming. When it doesn’t feel good, what do you choose to do? Learn how to respond vs react. 2) The haters, the negative comments and people, are always there.  They aren’t going anywhere. Send them...

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The Meaning You Give the Fear show art The Meaning You Give the Fear

Own Your Choices Own Your Life

In this episode, I share some thoughts on the meaning that we give to our fear.  “F-E-A-R: has two meanings: Forget Everything And Run or Face Everything And Rise. The choice is yours.” — Zig Ziglar “Nothing in life has any meaning except the meaning you give it.” ~ Tony Robbins.  Fear can be our guidepost, our compass that something is so big for us that it gets overwhelming or we allow the overwhelm to take over.  In this episode, we discuss: 1)  When we are stuck in fear we are fearing the worst.  We are prepping and planning for the worst thing to...

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Owning the Wins and Losses with James Heppner show art Owning the Wins and Losses with James Heppner

Own Your Choices Own Your Life

In this episode, I am speaking with Self-Help Hacker James Heppner.  James likes to think of himself as an artist of experience. His passion is to create transformational experiences for himself and others as a way to explore what it means to truly live - FULLY ALIVE. James is a results coach and founder of the Weekly Wins and Losses podcast and weekly global community call. He helps people in their journey to embracing all of life - both wins and losses equally. James helps you firmly establish the mental and physical courage needed to do difficult things while guiding you to activate...

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Let the Door Close show art Let the Door Close

Own Your Choices Own Your Life

In this episode, I want to share some thoughts on the doors and how we know when it is time to let them close.  This is a big one, one that I have relearned, experienced, and relearned multiple times in my life.  From small experiences to massive life decisions, we tend to wait far too long to make the decision to open the door or close the door. In this episode, we discuss: 1)  We overanalyze everything, at least I do. We can easily keep doors open for longer than necessary because we don’t want to make the wrong decision. That open door is blocking us from other...

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More Episodes

In this episode I am talking about perfectionism and how it is a 20-ton block that we hold onto to keep ourselves “safe, protected and we believe unaffected by the potential opinions and judgements of others.”  As Brene Brown says, “If I look perfect, live perfect, work perfect, I can avoid or minimize criticism or blame.” Perfectionism is a learned behaviour that typically comes from childhood and a lot of times it is a block that we use to keep ourselves from being hurt, yet all it is doing is keeping us from being seen. 

In this episode we discuss:

1) I am a recovering perfectionist and perfectionism/fighter is one of the 4 blocks I refer to when it comes to owning our stories.  The others are victim, hider and people pleaser. If you want to take the free Blocks to Owning Your Story Quiz, https://www.marshavanw.com/story-blocks

2) I used to wear perfectionism as a badge of honour, thinking it was because I was a striver, I worked hard, I had a level of excellence that I expected of myself.  When actually healthy striving is self-focused in “how can I improve”, whereas perfectionism is other focused, “what will they think”?  I wanted others to see that I could do x,y,z, and it also allowed me to fly under the radar from a young age, and not be the source of issues, problems, or growing up long before I needed to.  I thought this pressure was helping me and it did for many reasons, until it didn’t

3) This became a very self-destructive pattern of behaviour that literally blew up once we started dealing with teen substance abuse and I was living the complete opposite of a perfect life.  “When perfectionism is driving us, then shame is riding shotgun and fear is that annoying backseat driver.” Brene Brown. I was living in shame, feeling not good enough, feeling that I didn't want to be seen, yet all I deeply craved was connection and being seen

4) This pattern went on repeat until I couldn’t do it any longer.  It no longer worked and I was blocking myself from being seen, from receiving support, from connection, from the people who have since impacted my life, and from setting up for the work I am doing now.  I learned how to shift this through the writing process.  There are no authors published who are perfectionists, it’s not doable. As soon as I set down my shield, I was able to live my life, truly live it. I am not sure where I would be if I didn't because the research shows that perfectionism is the path to depression, anxiety, addiction and life paralysis.

Join the HOW Method
https://www.marshavanw.com/thehowmethod

Join the Rising Leaders Collective

https://www.marshavanw.com/rlcm

Marsha Vanwynsberghe — Author, Speaker and Life Coach

Marsha is the 6-time Bestselling Author of “When She Stopped Asking Why”.  She shares her lessons as a parent who dealt with teen substance abuse far past the level of normal experimentation.

Through her programs, coaching and live events for women, Marsha is on a mission to teach you how to “Own Your Choices” in your own life.  She teaches women how to own their stories, lead themselves and pay it forward to others by creating businesses that serve, support and impact others

In this episode I am talking about perfectionism and how it is a 20-ton block that we hold onto to keep ourselves “safe, protected and we believe unaffected by the potential opinions and judgements of others.”  As Brene Brown says, “If I look perfect, live perfect, work perfect, I can avoid or minimize criticism or blame.” Perfectionism is a learned behaviour that typically comes from childhood and a lot of times it is a block that we use to keep ourselves from being hurt, yet all it is doing is keeping us from being seen. 

In this episode we discuss:

1) I am a recovering perfectionist and perfectionism/fighter is one of the 4 blocks I refer to when it comes to owning our stories.  The others are victim, hider and people pleaser. If you want to take the free Blocks to Owning Your Story Quiz, https://www.marshavanw.com/story-blocks

2) I used to wear perfectionism as a badge of honour, thinking it was because I was a striver, I worked hard, I had a level of excellence that I expected of myself.  When actually healthy striving is self-focused in “how can I improve”, whereas perfectionism is other focused, “what will they think”?  I wanted others to see that I could do x,y,z, and it also allowed me to fly under the radar from a young age, and not be the source of issues, problems, or growing up long before I needed to.  I thought this pressure was helping me and it did for many reasons, until it didn’t

3) This became a very self-destructive pattern of behaviour that literally blew up once we started dealing with teen substance abuse and I was living the complete opposite of a perfect life.  “When perfectionism is driving us, then shame is riding shotgun and fear is that annoying backseat driver.” Brene Brown. I was living in shame, feeling not good enough, feeling that I didn't want to be seen, yet all I deeply craved was connection and being seen

4) This pattern went on repeat until I couldn’t do it any longer.  It no longer worked and I was blocking myself from being seen, from receiving support, from connection, from the people who have since impacted my life, and from setting up for the work I am doing now.  I learned how to shift this through the writing process.  There are no authors published who are perfectionists, it’s not doable. As soon as I set down my shield, I was able to live my life, truly live it. I am not sure where I would be if I didn't because the research shows that perfectionism is the path to depression, anxiety, addiction and life paralysis.

Join the HOW Method
https://www.marshavanw.com/thehowmethod

Join the Rising Leaders Collective

https://www.marshavanw.com/rlcm

Marsha Vanwynsberghe — Author, Speaker and Life Coach

Marsha is the 6-time Bestselling Author of “When She Stopped Asking Why”.  She shares her lessons as a parent who dealt with teen substance abuse far past the level of normal experimentation.

Through her programs, coaching and live events for women, Marsha is on a mission to teach you how to “Own Your Choices” in your own life.  She teaches women how to own their stories, lead themselves and pay it forward to others by creating businesses that serve, support and impact others