Part 1: Voices of Hope For, and By, Women Who Have Been Betrayed
Release Date: 03/15/2024
What Does Female Sex and Love Addiction Look Like?
Sex, Love, and Addiction
Heather Cronemiller and Lacy Bentley join Dr. Rob to talk about female sex addiction and the damage it can cause families. Both Lacy and Heather share their personal experience with being the ‘other woman’ and how, despite it going against everything they believed in, they still continued down a path of destruction. When it comes to any form of addiction, what we're really fighting against is deeply broken attachment wounds. Find out more on today’s episode. TAKEAWAYS: [2:40] A little bit about Lacy and how she got introduced with Dr. Rob. [3:20] A little bit about...
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Part 2: Voices of Hope For, and By, Women Who Have Been Betrayed
Sex, Love, and Addiction
Annie and Melissa are two women who have experienced deep marital betrayal in their relationship. The signs weren’t always clear as to what was actually going on, but when the wool had been pulled over their eyes, the amount of emotions, judgment, and pain they experienced took a long time to recover from. This episode is part two of these two women sharing their very personal story of how they found out about their husbands’ addictions and how they got through it. TAKEAWAYS: [3:15] Hindsight is 20/20. These are real and raw emotions and unfortunately, it’s difficult to hide...
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Part 1: Voices of Hope For, and By, Women Who Have Been Betrayed
Sex, Love, and Addiction
Annie and Melissa are two women who have experienced deep marital betrayal in their relationship. The signs weren’t always clear as to what was going on, but when the wool had been pulled over their eyes, the amount of emotions, judgment, and pain they experienced took a long time to recover from. These two women share their stories and also share why they decided to stay with their husbands and support them in their addiction. TAKEAWAYS: [2:15] Today we hear from two women who have gone through painful marital betrayal. [2:45] Why did these two women agree to come on and...
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Going to Therapy Doesn’t Have to Be Impossible with Jason VanRuler
Sex, Love, and Addiction
Jason VanRuler is a therapist, coach, speaker, and author dedicated to impacting those who make an impact. His first book, Get Past Your Past, is all about establishing a mindset of emotional health and resilience to find lasting wholeness. In this episode, Jason shares his personal self-development journey, why going to therapy is so difficult for so many people, and why our natural inclination is to hurt others; intentionally or not. TAKEAWAYS: [4:15] A little bit about Jason and how he became a therapist. [10:10] Due to Jason’s rough upbringing, he knew he had to...
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Part 2: Porn, What’s The Big Deal? with Dr. Sandra Shachar
Sex, Love, and Addiction
Sandra A. Shachar, Ph.D., is a Licensed Psychologist in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, and has over thirty years of clinical experience working with individuals, couples and families affected by Betrayal Trauma. She is also the author of The Porn Solution, which dives into the world of betrayal through porn use and what partners can do to navigate themselves through it. In this episode, Dr. Sandra talks about PTSD, intentional listening to your partner, and how to regain your partner’s trust. TAKEAWAYS: [1:50] How could I compete with a porn star? [3:40] Women feel like if...
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Part 1: Porn, What’s The Big Deal? with Dr. Sandra Shachar
Sex, Love, and Addiction
Sandra A. Shachar, Ph.D., is a Licensed Psychologist in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, and has over thirty years of clinical experience working with individuals, couples and families affected by Betrayal Trauma. She is also the author of The Porn Solution, which dives into the world of betrayal through porn use and what partners can do to navigate themselves through it. In this episode, Dr. Sandra talks about the definition of betrayal, why porn affects so many people, and why it’s okay to ask for your needs to be met. TAKEAWAYS: [3:20] Is porn cheating? [3:55] Why did Dr....
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BONUS: Why Should I Write Down All My Anger and Hurt?
Sex, Love, and Addiction
Dr. Rob and Tami talk about the healing properties a journal practice can have. A listener wrote that her therapist wants her to journal out the resentment and anger that her SA has caused her, but the mere thought of doing this gets her re-triggered and angry all over again. Is there really a point to all of this aside from re-remembering the betrayal? TAKEAWAYS: [:25] My SA husband’s entire family has suffered from some sort of sexual addiction or abuse. Is all of this hereditary? [8:30] How can intermittent reward cause or enhance relationship addiction? [16:15]...
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BONUS: Am I Just Having Fun, or Is This a Full-Blown Addiction?
Sex, Love, and Addiction
Dr. Rob and Tami break down the gray area between just having fun, being “at-risk” for an addiction, and being a full-blown addict. It can be difficult to define the line fully when you’re in the middle of a “good time.” Dr. Rob offers various considerations for you to think about to determine whether you’re barely teetering the line or if you’re in a bad and unsustainable place. TAKEAWAYS: [:35] I believe my partner is a narcissist and a sex addict. He’s hurting me but I can’t seem to walk away. How can I just leave him? [8:40] Have a three-circle plan! You need a...
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Discover and Connect with Your Own Inner Voice Again with Lucy Beresford
Sex, Love, and Addiction
Lucy Beresford hosts LBC Radio’s Sex and Relationships show and she’s the author of 4 books, including the global best-seller Happy Relationships. She works as a psychotherapist at The Grace Clinic, London and from time to time at The Delhi Psychiatry Centre in India under Dr. Sunil Mittal. In this episode, Lucy talks about refinding your voice again after a betrayal, how to create a deeper connection with a partner, and what are the steps forward if you continue to stay in a marriage that had a betrayal in it. TAKEAWAYS: [5:00] Lucy shares a time where she lost her voice and...
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How to Heal After a Betrayal: Dr. Monique Thompson on Navigating Infidelity
Sex, Love, and Addiction
Dr. Monique Thompson is a Psychotherapist in Dallas, Texas. She has seen over 1,000 couples in her counseling practice over the years and now shares tips and tools for couples to help recover from infidelity. She recently wrote a workbook for couples who are looking to recover from infidelity and shares her industry insights with Dr. Rob on today’s episode. After infidelity, many couples are unconsciously going to war with one another. Dr. Monique shares how you can get back to peaceful territory once again. TAKEAWAYS: [3:40] Why did Dr. Monique decide to write a book about...
info_outlineAnnie and Melissa are two women who have experienced deep marital betrayal in their relationship. The signs weren’t always clear as to what was going on, but when the wool had been pulled over their eyes, the amount of emotions, judgment, and pain they experienced took a long time to recover from. These two women share their stories and also share why they decided to stay with their husbands and support them in their addiction.
TAKEAWAYS:
[2:15] Today we hear from two women who have gone through painful marital betrayal.
[2:45] Why did these two women agree to come on and share their painful story today?
[3:50] When Melissa first found out about the betrayal, she didn’t see light at the end of the tunnel. Today, she does.
[6:25] Melissa really felt like everything in her relationship was good…until it wasn’t.
[13:00] What made Melissa throw her husband out of the house?
[14:50] What is betrayal trauma and why do so many partners experience it after finding out about their spouses affairs?
[20:00] Why did Annie stay in her relationship?
[20:55] When discovery happened, Annie had been married nearly 29 years.
[27:25] Dr. Rob defines what ‘porn’ means these days. It’s not just looking at a naked image anymore!
[28:50] Guys look at porn, what’s the big deal?
[31:15] Melissa’s husband would minimize her concerns when he was ‘out late’. She knew something was wrong, but couldn’t quite put her finger on why or what.
[32:45] Melissa’s husband is now upset at himself that he missed so much of his children’s lives because of his addiction.
[36:40] Annie shares that when people found out about her husband’s addiction, all the attention went to him. That’s when she felt so alone.
[38:30] Annie felt a second betrayal from her husband’s CSAT. She was dismissed in her feelings and she had no support!
[40:40] Melissa knew in her gut that something was wrong, so she snooped through his phone. When she found out all the lies and betrayal, she screamed so loud at him that it woke her children up.
[41:15] Melissa found out that their couple’s therapist knew about some of his betrayals and kept this information from her. Dr. Rob said this behavior was a violation of trust for a couple’s therapist. If you’re a therapist, don’t do this!
RESOURCES:
Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men
Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency
Out of the Doghouse by Robert Weiss
QUOTES:
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“Anything that’s kept secret from the relationship is a betrayal. It doesn’t matter if it’s with a person or not. It’s all kept secrets and it’s all painful.”
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“Decades ago, when women left their husbands, they were scorned. Now, when we stay, they don’t understand.”
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“Just because he screws up doesn’t mean I’m going to throw my lift under a bus.”