81. Cassie Nicholas Returns: New Trauma Memories Lead to New Ways to Heal!

Recording this episode was a fantastic experience...I was fortunate to have my guest, Cassie Nicholas, join me in the studio! It’s not often that this occurs, as most of my guests are long distances from St. George, UT. But Cassie is staying in a nearby city and was willing to drive into town to record this episode. It was a real delight that we got to see each other in the sense that it was awesome to get caught up on our almost year-long friendship; a friendship that started when Cassie emailed me in June of 2023, asking to be a part of this podcast. (Listening to her previous episode (Episode 36) isn’t a prerequisite to listening to this week’s episode, but it would help put some of Cassie’s dark, painful history into perspective.) It was kind of Cassie to agree to do a follow-up episode with me this week, but the truly powerful aspect of getting together with Cassie, was to meet her in person and experience first-hand her remarkable personality, wit, humor, and deep, deep caring that she has toward all she encounters. See, Cassie is a people person. And I knew that from talking with her last year, but to be in her presence is to feel that powerful energy and love.

Cassie’s childhood was nothing short of horrific. For as far back as she could remember, her father trafficked her to area doctors, business owners, and land barons in and around the small Apalachin town where she grew up in West Virginia. She has no specific memories of the actual rapes, only faces, back rooms, locked doors, pain, and secrets. And to exacerbate the situation, Cassie was constantly physically and emotionally assaulted by her father. He punished her for things he did to her. Further, she had to endure the knowledge that he was doing the same things to Cassie’s older sister who was totally physically and mentally disabled. Cassie carried that grief while doing her best to take care of her sister’s physical and emotional needs, loving her dearly, while agonizing in the physical, emotional, and mental knowledge of the sexual assaults of herself and her sister. Cassie’s mother was a loving and caring mom but she knew nothing of the sexual assaults and rapes that her husband was facilitating on her daughters. Until, one day, she found out, and as a result Cassie’s father eventually poisoned her to death so he could continue doing what he wanted to do with his daughters.

It was hard to hard hear how Cassie had, over the last year, developed new memories of her childhood sexual assault experiences. One was of being hunted in the woods by men who had paid her father for that horrific happening so that they could catch her and violently rape her. And then, when she made her way home, her father punished her for being with men out in the woods.

But Cassie also told me of the many ways that she has developed coping mechanisms and self-therapy techniques that are helping to heal her from her traumatic experiences. The pain and trauma memories continue, but so does the healing. And Cassie is happy. And she doesn’t suffer from depression, or from the suicide attempts and ideation like she did in the not-too-distant past. It is fascinating intriguing to listen to Cassie; and I could go on and on telling you of Cassie’s successes, but I’d rather you listen to this episode, and hear all about it from Cassie herself. Then, when you’ve finished listening, tell others to listen. We need to have more participation in the telling and listening of stories like Cassie’s. We need to normalize these conversations in order to help reduce the prevalence of child and adult sexual assault and rape.

I would greatly appreciate you taking the time to rate this episode and subscribe to Sexual Assault Survivor Stories. I would also appreciate your comments, both in the episode comments, and if you’d like, by emailing me and telling me your thoughts about the show…how it has impacted your life or the life of someone you know. And, as you’ll hear in the episode, Cassie would love to hear from you, too. She’s distancing herself from social media at this time, but if you’d like to communicate with her, you can write to me, and I’ll make sure she gets you message.

Thank you for being part of my efforts, and for your loyalty in listening to the show. Please share this podcast with everyone you know. And remember to do your part to bring justice to victims and survivors of rape and sexual assault…together we can make a difference if we all Start By Believing; because we all know someone whose life has been affected by rape or sexual assault.

 

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