301: Sex and depression with JoEllen Notte
Sex Gets Real with Dawn Serra
tl;dr JoEllen Notte is here to help us explore depression, relationships, and how depression and mental health can impact sex and desire, plus connecting during a pandemic. is happening NOW! Grab your free ticket by registering today for this free, entirely online conference that happens April 20-29th featuring 28 delicious, timely, intimate talks. Head to and register. We've got Pleasure Mechanics, Rachel Cole, Prentis Hemphill, Andrea Glik, Jennifer Mullan, Kai Cheng Thom, and so many others. Don't miss it! Patrons who support at $3 and above, this week you get to hear a bonus chat...
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300: Jaclyn Friedman on believing women
Sex Gets Real with Dawn Serra
tl;dr Jaclyn Friedman on believing women, what happens when we disclose our trauma, and why our PERCEPTION of who is a victim impacts how we view all victims. We're talking about her new book with Jessica Valenti, "Believe Me". is happening NEXT WEEK. Grab your free ticket by registering today for this free, entirely online conference that happens April 20-29th featuring 28 delicious, timely, intimate talks. Head to now! Finally, Patrons who support at $3 and above, this week you get to hear a bonus chat between Jaclyn Friedman and I on Tina Horn's fantastic essay speaking to why pleasure...
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299: Leonore Tjia on highly sensitive people, why mental health models are anti-erotic.
Sex Gets Real with Dawn Serra
tl;dr Leonore Tjia on highly sensitive people, relational work, and why modern mental health models are inherently anti-erotic. registration is OPEN. Grab your free ticket by registering today for this free, entirely online conference that happens April 20-29th featuring 28 delicious, timely, intimate talks. Head to exploremoresummit.com now! Finally, Patrons who support at $3 and above, this week you get to hear a private conversation Leonore and I had prior to recording for the podcast. We didn't intend for this to be heard, but it was so good I had to share! Hear it at . In my chat...
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298: Discharge, FGM scars, cheating during Alzheimers, & teaching kids pleasure with food
Sex Gets Real with Dawn Serra
tl;dr We are talking vaginal discharge, FGM or genital cutting scars, cheating when a partner has Alzheimers, and how to teach your kids the importance of pleasure with food. all about pleasure is now enrolling. The next cohort starts March 22nd, so do not miss it! Especially now with the news cycle and the fear. Spending some dedicated time for 5 weeks, plus 6 intimate group calls, to explore pleasure and safety is sooo important. Check out the details and First up - BE SURE TO !!! There are still 3 days left which means NINE free talks to see, and there is a 90-minute Parenting with...
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297: Christy Harrison on eating for pleasure, desirability, and being anti-diet, Part 2
Sex Gets Real with Dawn Serra
tl;dr Christy Harrison of Food Psych is here to talk about pleasure, happiness, weight stigma, what it means to be anti-diet, and why trusting our hungers around food & sex is so important. Part 2 of 2! I am so excited to share Part 2 of this 2 part conversation with the incredible Christy Harrison! If you haven't heard Part 1, before diving into this episode. Christy is an anti-diet dietitian, host of the Food Psych Podcast, and she just published a book that we are exploring here called, "Anti-Diet: Reclaim Your Time, Money, Well-Being, and Happiness Through Intuitive...
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296: Christy Harrison on pleasure, happiness, and being anti-diet, Part 1
Sex Gets Real with Dawn Serra
tl;dr Christy Harrison of Food Psych is here to talk about pleasure, happiness, weight stigma, what it means to be anti-diet, and why trusting our hungers around food & sex is so important. I am so excited to share Part 1 of this 2 part conversation with the incredible Christy Harrison! Christy is an anti-diet dietitian, host of the Food Psych Podcast, and she just published a book that we are exploring here called, "Anti-Diet: Reclaim Your Time, Money, Well-Being, and Happiness Through Intuitive Eating". Before we get into my chat with Christy, I have a few important things: ...
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295: Can we change our sexual preferences? Plus, a lesbian who wants to try sex with men.
Sex Gets Real with Dawn Serra
tl;dr Are sexual preferences changeable? What if someone really just doesn't like short men or fat women? And what should a lesbian do if she wants sex with men? First up - BE SURE TO !!! It's going to be incredible and challenging and so so so powerful. I'm not only a speaker but I'm also working behind the scenes with Alex to produce it for Be Nourished. Seven days of talks on healing our relationship with food and body? Yes please. because it's entirely online and kicks off March 11th. Patrons who support at $3 and above, this week's bonus is an erotica reading. It's a hot Daddy/girl...
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294: Making erotic films with Inka Winter
Sex Gets Real with Dawn Serra
tl;dr Inka Winter from ForPlay Films joins us to talk about making porn and why sexual healing and sex education is an important part of her work. Patrons who support at $3 and above, don't miss my bonus chat with Inka at . Inka shares about her experience growing up in a cult in Austria where sex was mandatory and why that informs so much of her work at ForPlay Films. In this episode, Inka and I talk about the very real challenges of what it's like to create erotic film. We talk about how Inka got started, how generous her friends in Hollywood have been at volunteering as...
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293: Sexual attraction, gay for getting blowjobs, & cheating with a sex worker
Sex Gets Real with Dawn Serra
tl;dr Can you change who you're sexually attracted to? Is someone gay for getting blowjobs from a guy? Is it OK to cheat with a sex worker? Patrons who support at $3 and above, this week's bonus is several Am I The Asshole posts over at . I want to know who you think is an asshole and who isn't, so come join me for some laughs and share your thoughts about these predicaments. Also, I love your emails. Send your questions my way! You can use the contact form at . We start by talking about the importance of treating sex workers with respect and we talk a little about a piece...
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292: Sexual assault, oral sex, and regret after a threesome
Sex Gets Real with Dawn Serra
tl;dr Bringing more racial nuance to sexual assault conversations, how to do oral sex when you struggle for breath, and how to deal with regret and hurt after a threesome. Patrons who support at $3 and above, there are TWO bonuses this week at . One is all about what people got stuck in their vagina, penis, and rectum in 2019. The other is about the science of biological sex by.... a biologist. Tune in and comment with your thoughts. Be sure to send in your questions! I would love to hear from you. Use the contact form at . We start with some beautiful words by...
info_outlinetl;dr Nurturance culture, rape culture, accountability, and boundaries with Nora Samaran.
Don't miss the October cohort of Power in Pleasure, my 5-week online course dedicated to exploring your pleasure. Details are at dawnserra.com/pleasurecourse. Enrollment closes soon!
This week, I'm joined by Nora Samaran, author of the essay, "The Opposite of Rape Culture is Nurturance Culture" and the recently published book, Turn This World Inside Out: The Emergence of Nurturance Culture, out by AK Press. Grab the book here.
Nora and I spent three hours chatting the day we recorded this episode, so needless to say there was a lot for us to unpack and explore.
In the main episode for the show, we talk about nurturance culture, rape culture, raising the bar for the relationships we have and what it means to have relational responsibility, how our brains are wired for interdependence, attachment styles and how culturally we value avoidant attachment styles while vilifying anxious attachment styles.
We dive into why there's so much heartbreak in swimming against the current of neoliberalism and capitalism when we prioritize interdependence, but also the richness available there.
What does mutuality look like? What does care in our communities look like?
Nora offers some beautiful examples of what it means for communities to protect people facing harm while honoring the humanity of the person or people causing the harm, and how we can be more accountable in ways that nurture us all. She calls it the 'double move' and it all starts with meeting the need without centering our own shame and guilt.
Then, for Patreon, our bonus conversation is all about gaslighting. It's fantastic. Nora shares how the culture we live in lies to itself and creates fictions, why we are all so disconnected and dissociated, why when we're addressing patterns of gaslighting and harm it's not a "meet in the middle" thing, the neurology of gaslighting, and trauma bonding. If you want to hear it, it's for folks who support at $3 per month and above, and you can hear it at patreon.com/sgrpodcast.
Have questions of your own you'd like featured on the show? Send me a note using the contact form in the navigation above!
Follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook and Dawn is on Instagram.
About Nora Samaran:
Nora Samaran is a white settler from a working class immigrant background. She was a member of the No One is Illegal-Vancouver collective from 2005-2008, and the Media Democracy Day-Vancouver collective from 2008-2010. Her essay ‘The Opposite of Rape Culture is Nurturance Culture’ went viral in February 2016 and has grown into a book, Turn This World Inside Out, out with AK Press in June 2019. She teaches at Douglas College in Coast Salish Territories, also known as Vancouver, British Columbia.
Check out Nora's interview on the Healing Justice podcast.
If you join the Healing Justice podcast bookclub, there is a live webinar coming up, plus you can save 30% on the book!
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Episode Transcript
Episode transcripts are available at dawnserra.com/sexgetsrealpod