292: Sexual assault, oral sex, and regret after a threesome

tl;dr Bringing more racial nuance to sexual assault conversations, how to do oral sex when you struggle for breath, and how to deal with regret and hurt after a threesome.

 

Patrons who support at $3 and above, there are TWO bonuses this week at patreon.com/sgrpodcast. One is all about what people got stuck in their vagina, penis, and rectum in 2019. The other is about the science of biological sex by.... a biologist. Tune in and comment with your thoughts.

 

Be sure to send in your questions! I would love to hear from you. Use the contact form at dawnserra.com.

 

We start with some beautiful words by Heidi Preibe about loving someone over the long term. Grab the text and link at dawnserra.com/ep292.

 

I also mentioned my quarantine selfie which you can see at dawnserra.com/ep292, too!

 

On to your emails...

 

Scotney, a fellow sex educator, wrote in with some additional nuance around Kobe Bryant, sexual assault, and the institutional and cultural racism that we need to acknowledge when we are specifically talking about Black men and sexual violence.

 

Nick is preparing for a double lung transplant. He is short of breath and can't lay on his stomach to eat out his wife. How can he engage in oral sex with his wife without struggling to breathe?

 

I have ideas for Nick, plus permission to expand the ways he pleases his wife. It doesn't only have to be oral sex! Bodies change, and sometimes the ways we have sex need to change, too.

 

Gina Senarighi is here to help me answer the final question this week from Jealous friend and lover. JFL is feeling really hurt because her and her boyfriend were kissing and flirting with a friend of hers, but things escalated quickly and now JFL is feeling insecure, betrayed, and unsure of how to move forward.

 

What do you do when you open your relationship or try a threesome and things go wrong? How can you repair from a relationship oops? Gina is here to help me answer those questions with such generosity and compassion.

 

A huge thanks to the Vocal Few for their song in the opening and closing of the episode and to Hemlock for their awesome song "Firelight" which was used in this episode between questions.

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About Gina Senarighi:

Dr Gina Senarighi, PhD, CPC is an author, teacher, sexuality counselor and certified relationship coach based in the midwestern U.S. She’s been supporting clean fights and dirty sex in happy healthy relationships since 2009. Gina has written several books and currently leads couples retreats and coaches online clients all over the world.

Find Gina at heygina.com and nonmonogamous.com. Be sure to also tune into her podcast, Swoon.

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Episode Transcript

Head to dawnserra.com/ep292