Sex Gets Real with Dawn Serra
Sex Gets Real with host Dawn Serra offers you advice on sex, pleasure, relationships, kink, love, dating, bodies, feelings, and navigating it all with ease and joy. This is a place for questions, for laughter, and for learning about the things that keep us connected and help us to thrive in life, love, and sex.
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301: Sex and depression with JoEllen Notte
04/19/2020
301: Sex and depression with JoEllen Notte
tl;dr JoEllen Notte is here to help us explore depression, relationships, and how depression and mental health can impact sex and desire, plus connecting during a pandemic. is happening NOW! Grab your free ticket by registering today for this free, entirely online conference that happens April 20-29th featuring 28 delicious, timely, intimate talks. Head to and register. We've got Pleasure Mechanics, Rachel Cole, Prentis Hemphill, Andrea Glik, Jennifer Mullan, Kai Cheng Thom, and so many others. Don't miss it! Patrons who support at $3 and above, this week you get to hear a bonus chat between JoEllen and I on this cultural idea that people with depression are essentially asexual, desexualized humans and what JoEllen actually found in all of her research plus looking at sex as an a la carte menu versus a buffet. (And Eeyore masturbating totally gets talked about.) Hear it at . In this episode, JoEllen and I talk about her new book, "The Monster Under the Bed" which is all about sex, depression, and relationships. We talk about how the entire world is coping and struggling with depression, anxiety, panic, and trying to survive the unknown. How normal it is to be feeling numb and disconnected while also feeling more emotional and tender. We explore how being in close quarters with a partner can lead to a reckoning with our relationships, important questions to ask ourselves during these times when we're wondering if our relationship is the problem or just how terrible things are in general and how to tease out whether it's the person or the relationship. JoEllen and I share some of the catastrophizing stories our brains like to tell us and ways we cope, plus communicating our mental health needs with a partner and why context matters SO much when it comes to our libido and pleasure. JoEllen also cannot stress enough how important it is to read Emily Nagoski's "Come As You Are" if you haven't already. Be sure to send in your questions! I would love to hear from you. Use the contact form at . Follow Sex Gets Real on and and Dawn is on . About JoEllen Notte: JoEllen Notte is a certified sex educator, writer, speaker, sexuality researcher, and mental health advocate. She blogs at The Redhead Bedhead and has been published by the BBC, Glamour, Bitch Media, xoJane, and Kinkly. JoEllen's book The Monster Under the Bed: Sex, Depression, and the Conversations We Aren't Having will be released on March 27, 2020. Stay in touch with JoEllen at and get a copy of The Monster Under the Bed at your favorite local bookstore. Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real Use the player at the top of this page. Find on IHeartRadio. Hearing from you is the best Contact form: Episode Transcript Visit
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300: Jaclyn Friedman on believing women
04/12/2020
300: Jaclyn Friedman on believing women
tl;dr Jaclyn Friedman on believing women, what happens when we disclose our trauma, and why our PERCEPTION of who is a victim impacts how we view all victims. We're talking about her new book with Jessica Valenti, "Believe Me". is happening NEXT WEEK. Grab your free ticket by registering today for this free, entirely online conference that happens April 20-29th featuring 28 delicious, timely, intimate talks. Head to now! Finally, Patrons who support at $3 and above, this week you get to hear a bonus chat between Jaclyn Friedman and I on Tina Horn's fantastic essay speaking to why pleasure should not be the measure for sex work and porn performers. It's SOOOO good and super important for folks who truly want to support those in the field. Hear it at . I love every time I get to be in conversation with Jaclyn, and this was no different. We explore the difference between what it means to believe women versus what it means to believe ALL women, and why that distinction is important. We dive into what it means that women, femmes, and feminized folks often have a different set of memories than cis men. The ways survivors are retraumatized by courts, lawyers, and our "justice" system. So much of "Believe Me" demonstrates the ways we would all move closer to liberation if we centered Black women and trans women, and we explore all the ways so many of us are only trusted if we disclose the gory details of our trauma but in doing so we are also seen as discredited and no longer experts in anything except our trauma. Jaclyn shares what social researchers have long demonstrated: that collectively we not only hold women to much higher standards, but as a woman's credibility goes up, we like her less for it and actively punish her for that growing credibility. So what can we do about it? Where do we go? It's such an important discussion about a very important book, and I hope you'll get yourself a copy. Be sure to send in your questions! I would love to hear from you. Use the contact form at . Follow Sex Gets Real on and and Dawn is on . About Jaclyn Friedman: Jaclyn Friedman is a writer, educator and activist, and creator of four books (one of Publishers’ Weekly’s Top 100 Books of 2009), , , and her latest, . Her podcast, also called , is paving new paths to sexual liberation, and was named one of the Best Sex Podcasts by both Marie Claire and Esquire. As an undergraduate, Jaclyn thought she was too smart to become a victim of sexual assault – until another student proved her wrong. That experience eventually led her to become a student and instructor of IMPACT safety training. At IMPACT, she helped bring safety skills to the communities which most need them, including gang-involved high school students and women transitioning out of abusive relationships. Friedman’s work has popularized the “yes means yes” standard of sexual consent that is quickly becoming law on many US campuses. In her book, Unscrewed, she calls on the movement for women’s sexual liberation to move past individualistic “empowerment” messages (for which she coined the term “fauxpowerment”) to focus on collectively transforming the systems and institutions invested in keeping women sexually servile. Kirkus called it “a potent, convincing manifesto,” and Kate Tuttle, president of the National Book Critics Circle, called it “the book we need right now.” Friedman is a popular speaker on campuses and at conferences across the US and beyond. She has been a guest on the Today Show, Nightline, PBS News Hour, Call Your Girlfriend, and numerous other audio and TV shows, and her commentary has appeared in outlets including The New York Times, Vox, Refinery 29, The Washington Post, Glamour, and The Guardian. Friedman is a founder and the former executive director of , where she led the successful #FBrape campaign to apply Facebook’s hate-speech ban to content that promotes gender-based violence. More recently, she has been active in the Jews Against ICE movement, with whom she was arrested at a protest this summer. Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real Use the player at the top of this page. Find on IHeartRadio. Hearing from you is the best Contact form: Episode Transcript Visit for the transcript
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299: Leonore Tjia on highly sensitive people, why mental health models are anti-erotic.
03/22/2020
299: Leonore Tjia on highly sensitive people, why mental health models are anti-erotic.
tl;dr Leonore Tjia on highly sensitive people, relational work, and why modern mental health models are inherently anti-erotic. registration is OPEN. Grab your free ticket by registering today for this free, entirely online conference that happens April 20-29th featuring 28 delicious, timely, intimate talks. Head to exploremoresummit.com now! Finally, Patrons who support at $3 and above, this week you get to hear a private conversation Leonore and I had prior to recording for the podcast. We didn't intend for this to be heard, but it was so good I had to share! Hear it at . In my chat with Leonore, we explore what a highly sensitive person is and why Leonore has been holding workshops on sex for HSPs. We also talk about the difference between highly sensitive and high sensation seeking. Leonore shares about how resentment builds with tolerating and performing emotional labor as a highly sensitive person. Plus, the impact to our libido and desire when we don't feel welcome as who we really are (because of a fear and experience of being too much). Leonore talks about the erotic suffering we are living in and how modern medicine pathologizes valid experiences. We explore what partners of HSPs need to know about supporting highly sensitive people, and what it means for Leonore to be shifting her professional work to a more relational capacity. What if we all had more places where people genuinely wanted to hear about our experiences, even if it was uncomfortable? We discuss how worthiness ties to healthier and more connected relationships, boundaries and how we take responsibility for things that aren't ours which leads to codependence and pain. Plus, why knowing what is not yours takes a lot of practice and work on our worthiness and self-love. Leonore names why eros can't move through us when we are in fight/flight/freeze/fawn, not to the extent that it's possible, so the process of finding our inner authority and transforming shame into courage creates a good container for eros to visit. We both talk about why our work is dedicated to deeply shifting our ways of relating with ourselves, each other, and the world - because we need to change things, and it starts with our most intimate relationships. Finally, we geek out on the harm and damage mainstream mental health causes when it operates from within the dominant paradigm. We discuss: the normativity of modern mental health models, how little sexuality training therapists receive, and its goal is to bring us into alignment with oppressive systems. Leonore sees much of modern mental health as inherently anti-erotic. Be sure to send in your questions! I would love to hear from you. Use the contact form at . Follow Sex Gets Real on and and Dawn is on . About Leonore Tjia: Leonore is a feminist sexuality educator who helps people create more presence, play, pleasure and power in the bedroom and beyond. As a trained practitioner of Internal Family Systems therapy, she assists people in recovering the parts of their sexual selves that have been exiled and repressed. Her workshops and teaching bring an ecological focus to sexual empowerment, helping people to reconnect to erotic vitality and step into sexual wildness. She is the founder of the , which combines wilderness skills and expressive arts in the Swedish backcountry. Stay in touch with Leonore at and on . Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real Use the player at the top of this page. Find on IHeartRadio. Hearing from you is the best Contact form: Episode Transcript Coming soon! at
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298: Discharge, FGM scars, cheating during Alzheimers, & teaching kids pleasure with food
03/15/2020
298: Discharge, FGM scars, cheating during Alzheimers, & teaching kids pleasure with food
tl;dr We are talking vaginal discharge, FGM or genital cutting scars, cheating when a partner has Alzheimers, and how to teach your kids the importance of pleasure with food. all about pleasure is now enrolling. The next cohort starts March 22nd, so do not miss it! Especially now with the news cycle and the fear. Spending some dedicated time for 5 weeks, plus 6 intimate group calls, to explore pleasure and safety is sooo important. Check out the details and First up - BE SURE TO !!! There are still 3 days left which means NINE free talks to see, and there is a 90-minute Parenting with Body Trust panel on Tuesday, March 17th that is a MUST for parents and caregivers of small children. because it's entirely online and ends March 17th. Patrons who support at $3 and above, this week's bonus will be at . Enjoy! Also, I love your emails. Send your questions my way! You can use the contact form at . On to the episode! I Sense You Are Stronger Than Me wrote in asking about vaginal discharge. Occasionally, especially after sex, ISYASTM will have thick, white discharge and they are embarrassed to go to the doctor to get it checked. Is it normal? What is it? I share a few articles with you about the ways our discharge can change over the month and the impact that condom-less intercourse with a penis can have on vaginal pH and discharge. Links to all the articles mentioned in this episode are at . Next up, North is struggling because they have a lovely partner they've been with a year. Everything is fantastic. The problem? North's partner experienced genital cutting (many people know it as FGM or FGC) and the scars on their partner's genitals trigger a disgust response. North isn't disgusted by their partner, but by the evidence of the violence that was done to them. How can they move past it all? Donald Alone wrote in concerned that he is cheating. He is in his 80s, and his wife has Alzheimers and is in a memory care facility. Donald recently met a woman who, while married has been left by her husband, and the two of them are hitting it off. They've kissed and they are wondering if what they've done is considered cheating. Finally, Eating Momma loves the idea of eating for pleasure and wants to help teach her 9-year-old daughter the importance of pleasure around food. How does she do that? A huge thanks to the Vocal Few for their song in the opening and closing of the episode and to Hemlock for their awesome song "Firelight" which was used in this episode between questions. Follow Sex Gets Real on and and Dawn is on . About Dawn Serra: What if everything you’ve been taught about relationships, about your body, about sex is wrong? My name is Dawn Serra and I dare to ask scary questions that might lead us all towards a deeper, more connected experience of our lives. In addition to being the host of the weekly podcast, Sex Gets Real, the creator of the online conference , I also work who are feeling stuck, confused, or disappointed with the ways they experience desire, love, and confidence. It’s not all work, though. In my spare time, you can find me adventuring with my husband, cuddling my cats as I read a YA novel, or obsessing over MasterChef Australia. Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real Use the player at the top of this page. Find on IHeartRadio. Hearing from you is the best Contact form: Episode Transcript Coming soon! at
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297: Christy Harrison on eating for pleasure, desirability, and being anti-diet, Part 2
03/08/2020
297: Christy Harrison on eating for pleasure, desirability, and being anti-diet, Part 2
tl;dr Christy Harrison of Food Psych is here to talk about pleasure, happiness, weight stigma, what it means to be anti-diet, and why trusting our hungers around food & sex is so important. Part 2 of 2! I am so excited to share Part 2 of this 2 part conversation with the incredible Christy Harrison! If you haven't heard Part 1, before diving into this episode. Christy is an anti-diet dietitian, host of the Food Psych Podcast, and she just published a book that we are exploring here called, "Anti-Diet: Reclaim Your Time, Money, Well-Being, and Happiness Through Intuitive Eating". Before we get into my chat with Christy, I wanted to share a post on Tumblr by Inkdot about clothing that I wish more of us knew. The dressing room can be a fraught place for many of us - clothes never seem to fit just right, or the arbitrary sizes bring up shame. Head to for a link to this piece about celebrities and clothes might bring some relief to those of us who struggle with finding clothing that fits our bodies. Be Nourished's free online Body Trust Summit is March 11-17 and it is going to be fantastic. If you like my conversation with Christy this week, the summit is 24 talks that will take you even deeper into your relationship with food, body, pleasure, and healing. Finally, Patrons who support at $3 and above, this week are going to explore our body stories and I'm going to share a few more awesome bits from Christy's book for us all to be in together. Hear it at . So back to my chat with Christy: This week on Part 2 of my conversation with Christy Harrison we continue our exploration of many of the lies we've been sold, desirability politics and changing bodies, and why the problem is NOT weight but rather weight stigma and a focus on dieting. All of this ties so so intimately to the ways we experience sex, the ways we navigate consent, how we set boundaries, and do relationship. Be sure to send in your questions! I would love to hear from you. Use the contact form at . Follow Sex Gets Real on and and Dawn is on . About Christy Harrison: Christy Harrison, MPH, RD, CDN is an anti-diet registered dietitian nutritionist, certified intuitive eating counselor, and author of the book (Little, Brown Spark 2019). She offers and private to help people all over the world make peace with food and their bodies. Since 2013 Christy has hosted , a weekly podcast exploring people’s relationships with food and paths to body liberation. It is now one of iTunes’ top 100 health podcasts, reaching tens of thousands of listeners worldwide each week. Christy began her career in 2003 as a journalist covering food, nutrition, and health, and she’s written for major publications including The New York Times, SELF, BuzzFeed, Refinery29, Gourmet, Slate, The Food Network, and many others. Learn more about Christy and her work at . Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real Use the player at the top of this page. Find on IHeartRadio. Hearing from you is the best Contact form: Episode Transcript Visit for more.
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296: Christy Harrison on pleasure, happiness, and being anti-diet, Part 1
03/01/2020
296: Christy Harrison on pleasure, happiness, and being anti-diet, Part 1
tl;dr Christy Harrison of Food Psych is here to talk about pleasure, happiness, weight stigma, what it means to be anti-diet, and why trusting our hungers around food & sex is so important. I am so excited to share Part 1 of this 2 part conversation with the incredible Christy Harrison! Christy is an anti-diet dietitian, host of the Food Psych Podcast, and she just published a book that we are exploring here called, "Anti-Diet: Reclaim Your Time, Money, Well-Being, and Happiness Through Intuitive Eating". Before we get into my chat with Christy, I have a few important things: First, at Alex's suggestion, I turned my answer from about preferences for certain bodies ... that has as of six days later been read over 31,000 times. HOLY SHIT! There has been so much beautiful input, additional nuance, and depth in all of the things people are saying, and I am so grateful. If you like it, feel free to share it! Let's keep the conversation going. Second, Be Nourished's free online Body Trust Summit is March 11-17 and it is going to be fantastic. If you like my conversation with Christy this week, the summit is 24 talks that will take you even deeper into your relationship with food, body, pleasure, and healing. Finally, Patrons who support at $3 and above, don't miss my bonus chat with Christy at . Christy and I talk about my own disordered eating and orthorexia, the part of her book that made me burst into tears, the cost of the performances we do around food and also sex, and where the advent of the “obesity” epidemic came from and why it’s actually really new. Hint: it has to do with money in people’s pockets NOT science. So back to my chat with Christy: I expect a lot of you are going to have some big feels come up as you hear Christy and I talk about diet culture, weight stigma, and how dieting and disordered relationships with our hungers impacts our sexual desire and pleasure. This is a really nuanced conversation, so if you notice yourself constricting or feeling defensive, feel free to take a break, breathe, move, and then return to it later. Seven or eight years ago me would have felt really resistant to a conversation like this, so I get it. Part 2, which drops next week, continues our exploration of many of the lies we've been sold, desirability politics and changing bodies, and why the problem is NOT weight but rather weight stigma and a focus on dieting. All of this ties so so intimately to the ways we experience sex, the ways we navigate consent, how we set boundaries, and do relationship, so I hope you'll join me for this delicious 2-part conversation with Christy. Be sure to send in your questions! I would love to hear from you. Use the contact form at . Follow Sex Gets Real on and and Dawn is on . About Christy Harrison: Christy Harrison, MPH, RD, CDN is an anti-diet registered dietitian nutritionist, certified intuitive eating counselor, and author of the book (Little, Brown Spark 2019). She offers and private to help people all over the world make peace with food and their bodies. Since 2013 Christy has hosted , a weekly podcast exploring people’s relationships with food and paths to body liberation. It is now one of iTunes’ top 100 health podcasts, reaching tens of thousands of listeners worldwide each week. Christy began her career in 2003 as a journalist covering food, nutrition, and health, and she’s written for major publications including The New York Times, SELF, BuzzFeed, Refinery29, Gourmet, Slate, The Food Network, and many others. Learn more about Christy and her work at . Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real Use the player at the top of this page. Find on IHeartRadio. Hearing from you is the best Contact form: Episode Transcript Head to for the episode transcript.
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295: Can we change our sexual preferences? Plus, a lesbian who wants to try sex with men.
02/24/2020
295: Can we change our sexual preferences? Plus, a lesbian who wants to try sex with men.
tl;dr Are sexual preferences changeable? What if someone really just doesn't like short men or fat women? And what should a lesbian do if she wants sex with men? First up - BE SURE TO !!! It's going to be incredible and challenging and so so so powerful. I'm not only a speaker but I'm also working behind the scenes with Alex to produce it for Be Nourished. Seven days of talks on healing our relationship with food and body? Yes please. because it's entirely online and kicks off March 11th. Patrons who support at $3 and above, this week's bonus is an erotica reading. It's a hot Daddy/girl story that takes place in the woods with flogging and whips and all sorts of yumminess. Hear it over at . Enjoy! Also, I love your emails. Send your questions my way! You can use the contact form at . Oh, and be sure to . It's enrolling now and starts March 22nd. On to the episode! First up, I share some beautiful words by someone named jedidiahjenkins. I shared the post on the . It's all about friendship and love. Next, I'm running an experiment. Do you love mail as much as I do? Want me to write you a letter? Well, I want to write to you! If that's you, fill out the form (link is at ) and we'll see what happens. The form, at least for now, will be open until early March. I have no idea how many of you will want this! And then it's on to your emails. Paul wrote in asking about preferences. Can't people just not like skinny guys or short guys or fat women? After all, he suggests our preferences are personal, so can't people just not like or like certain bodies? Strap in because we are doing a really deep and wide exploration of all the factors that impact our "personal" preferences. As part of that exploration, I share some pieces from Imran Siddiquee's TEDx talk. Head to because I highly recommend checking out Imran's talk and his writing and essays in general. But this question begs of us - how can we all do better? Because it's those with the most privilege that are most resistant to examining their preferences and stories, so I invite us into different ways of relating with each other. I can't wait for you to hear it. Then, Curious Little Rabbit wants to know what she should do. She's a lesbian who hasn't had sex with men in 15 years, but lately she's been having lots of fantasies about it. Should she find a guy and give it a try? If so, where can she find some options in Houston, Texas? Be sure to tune in next week for Part 1 of 2 with my interview with Christy Harrison from the Food Psych podcast. We talk pleasure, desire, bodies, and her new book, "Anti-Diet". A huge thanks to the Vocal Few for their song in the opening and closing of the episode and to Hemlock for their awesome song "Firelight" which was used in this episode between questions. Follow Sex Gets Real on and and Dawn is on . About Dawn Serra: What if everything you’ve been taught about relationships, about your body, about sex is wrong? My name is Dawn Serra and I dare to ask scary questions that might lead us all towards a deeper, more connected experience of our lives. In addition to being the host of the weekly podcast, Sex Gets Real, the creator of the online conference , I also work who are feeling stuck, confused, or disappointed with the ways they experience desire, love, and confidence. It’s not all work, though. In my spare time, you can find me adventuring with my husband, cuddling my cats as I read a YA novel, or obsessing over MasterChef Australia. Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real Use the player at the top of this page. Find on IHeartRadio. Hearing from you is the best Contact form: Episode Transcript Head to
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294: Making erotic films with Inka Winter
02/16/2020
294: Making erotic films with Inka Winter
tl;dr Inka Winter from ForPlay Films joins us to talk about making porn and why sexual healing and sex education is an important part of her work. Patrons who support at $3 and above, don't miss my bonus chat with Inka at . Inka shares about her experience growing up in a cult in Austria where sex was mandatory and why that informs so much of her work at ForPlay Films. In this episode, Inka and I talk about the very real challenges of what it's like to create erotic film. We talk about how Inka got started, how generous her friends in Hollywood have been at volunteering as cinematographers and support staff, and even why most of her films to date have featured friends instead of professional porn performers. We also explore the homophobia among men in the adult industry in Los Angeles and why she's struggled to feature more diverse bodies and stories in her films. I can't wait for you to hear this honest and approachable chat with someone who is creating erotic material with a focus on love, consent, and education. Be sure to send in your questions! I would love to hear from you. Use the contact form at . Follow Sex Gets Real on and and Dawn is on . About Inka Winter: Inka Winter is an erotic filmmaker and the founder of ForPlay Films, an independent, all-woman production company that puts female pleasure front and center. Inspired by the power of sexual expression, her films celebrate all shades of female desire. Winter believes that sex education and emotional wellbeing are a big part of a healthy sex life. She also produces Sexucation, a short video series using humor to educate women and men all things sex and is training to become a sex and relationship counselor. An LA-based costume designer and lifelong artist, Winter spent her formative childhood years living in an artist commune in Austria, which set the foundation and aesthetic for her creative endeavors in film-making. Website: Instagram: Twitter: Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real Use the player at the top of this page. Find on IHeartRadio. Hearing from you is the best Contact form: Episode Transcript Head to for the transcript.
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293: Sexual attraction, gay for getting blowjobs, & cheating with a sex worker
02/09/2020
293: Sexual attraction, gay for getting blowjobs, & cheating with a sex worker
tl;dr Can you change who you're sexually attracted to? Is someone gay for getting blowjobs from a guy? Is it OK to cheat with a sex worker? Patrons who support at $3 and above, this week's bonus is several Am I The Asshole posts over at . I want to know who you think is an asshole and who isn't, so come join me for some laughs and share your thoughts about these predicaments. Also, I love your emails. Send your questions my way! You can use the contact form at . We start by talking about the importance of treating sex workers with respect and we talk a little about a piece in The Guardian about self-care. Head to for the link. I love what it's offering about the ways self-care has been co-opted and what communal care can look like. Then it's on to your questions. First up, Q just got their masters degree and through grad school put on some weight. Their partner of 6 years told them they aren't as sexually attracted to them now because of that weight. Can someone change their sexual attraction? Ohhhhh, do I have thoughts! If you want to hear more about situations like this, be sure to check out my chat with Carmen Cool at Explore More 2019, because we talked about this a lot, too. Next, Britney is worried her boyfriend is gay. He was getting blowjobs from a gay guy in high school and might have done it again in college. Is he gay and how can she believe him when he's lied before? Let's talk about sexual orientation and how it isn't always as simple as whether someone is gay or not. Plus, trust seems to be pretty damaged, so I weigh in on how I think they can re-connect. Finally, Ryan is in a long-term relationship of six years. They have an active and amazing sex life. That said, he has a desire to work with a sex worker to get an erotic massage, but he worries his partner will see that as cheating. Does he deny himself this pleasure just because his partner might not like it? Relationship agreements are important, folks, and if you can't abide by them, you shouldn't be in a relationship. A huge thanks to the Vocal Few for their song in the opening and closing of the episode and to Hemlock for their awesome song "Firelight" which was used in this episode between questions. Follow Sex Gets Real on and and Dawn is on . About Dawn Serra: What if everything you’ve been taught about relationships, about your body, about sex is wrong? My name is Dawn Serra and I dare to ask scary questions that might lead us all towards a deeper, more connected experience of our lives. In addition to being the host of the weekly podcast, Sex Gets Real, the creator of the online conference , I also work who are feeling stuck, confused, or disappointed with the ways they experience desire, love, and confidence. It’s not all work, though. In my spare time, you can find me adventuring with my husband, cuddling my cats as I read a YA novel, or obsessing over MasterChef Australia. Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real Use the player at the top of this page. Find on IHeartRadio. Hearing from you is the best Contact form: Episode Transcript Check it out at
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292: Sexual assault, oral sex, and regret after a threesome
02/02/2020
292: Sexual assault, oral sex, and regret after a threesome
tl;dr Bringing more racial nuance to sexual assault conversations, how to do oral sex when you struggle for breath, and how to deal with regret and hurt after a threesome. Patrons who support at $3 and above, there are TWO bonuses this week at . One is all about what people got stuck in their vagina, penis, and rectum in 2019. The other is about the science of biological sex by.... a biologist. Tune in and comment with your thoughts. Be sure to send in your questions! I would love to hear from you. Use the contact form at . We start with some beautiful words by Heidi Preibe about loving someone over the long term. Grab the text and link at . I also mentioned my quarantine selfie which you can see at , too! On to your emails... Scotney, a fellow sex educator, wrote in with some additional nuance around Kobe Bryant, sexual assault, and the institutional and cultural racism that we need to acknowledge when we are specifically talking about Black men and sexual violence. Nick is preparing for a double lung transplant. He is short of breath and can't lay on his stomach to eat out his wife. How can he engage in oral sex with his wife without struggling to breathe? I have ideas for Nick, plus permission to expand the ways he pleases his wife. It doesn't only have to be oral sex! Bodies change, and sometimes the ways we have sex need to change, too. Gina Senarighi is here to help me answer the final question this week from Jealous friend and lover. JFL is feeling really hurt because her and her boyfriend were kissing and flirting with a friend of hers, but things escalated quickly and now JFL is feeling insecure, betrayed, and unsure of how to move forward. What do you do when you open your relationship or try a threesome and things go wrong? How can you repair from a relationship oops? Gina is here to help me answer those questions with such generosity and compassion. A huge thanks to the Vocal Few for their song in the opening and closing of the episode and to Hemlock for their awesome song "Firelight" which was used in this episode between questions. Follow Sex Gets Real on and and Dawn is on . About Gina Senarighi: Dr Gina Senarighi, PhD, CPC is an author, teacher, sexuality counselor and certified relationship coach based in the midwestern U.S. She’s been supporting clean fights and dirty sex in happy healthy relationships since 2009. Gina has written several books and currently leads couples retreats and coaches online clients all over the world. Find Gina at and . Be sure to also tune into her podcast, Swoon. Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real Use the player at the top of this page. Find on IHeartRadio. Hearing from you is the best Contact form: Episode Transcript Head to
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291: STIs, masturbation buddies, shame and fat bodies
01/27/2020
291: STIs, masturbation buddies, shame and fat bodies
tl;dr STIs and how to protect ourselves, men who want masturbation buddies, shame and fat bodies, plus Kobe Bryant's death. Patrons who support at $3 and above, there's a new bonus at tomorrow. To kick off this week's episode, we are exploring some of the complicated feelings around Kobe Bryant's death, especially for survivors. We're also unpacking a new paper released by the CDC about STIs being on the rise. Check out the article at Sinclair Sexsmith recently pulled together a bunch of people, blogs, and helpful tidbits on chronic pain and sex. Grab the link at . Then it's on to your questions. First up, Jose wants to know if it's healthy to have a sexual relationship with himself when he's in a relationship with someone else. And is it weird to want a masturbation buddy? Especially when he's a straight man and wants to masturbate with other men? Next, Busy Cat is ready to leave the big city and get a job in a smaller city, but her boyfriend isn't ready to make the move. How can she convince him that this move will be good for them? Finally, Ashamed is in recovery for an eating disorder and has complicated feelings about her fat body. She doesn't have much experience with masturbation or sex, and she wants to start but she doesn't know how. What if you can't reach your genitals? What if you don't know where to start? We go all the places and focus in on pleasure - because that's what it's all about, right? A huge thanks to the Vocal Few for their song in the opening and closing of the episode and to Hemlock for their awesome song "Firelight" which was used in this episode between questions. Follow Sex Gets Real on and and Dawn is on . About Dawn Serra: What if everything you’ve been taught about relationships, about your body, about sex is wrong? My name is Dawn Serra and I dare to ask scary questions that might lead us all towards a deeper, more connected experience of our lives. In addition to being the host of the weekly podcast, Sex Gets Real, the creator of the online conference , I also work who are feeling stuck, confused, or disappointed with the ways they experience desire, love, and confidence. It’s not all work, though. In my spare time, you can find me adventuring with my husband, cuddling my cats as I read a YA novel, or obsessing over MasterChef Australia. Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real Use the player at the top of this page. Find on IHeartRadio. Hearing from you is the best Contact form: Episode Transcript Check it out at
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290: Wheelchair sex and being scared of sex
01/12/2020
290: Wheelchair sex and being scared of sex
tl;dr How to have with someone in a wheelchair, being scared of sex and not knowing how to jump in. Patrons who support at $3 and above, there's a new bonus at . We are diving into the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse - the behaviors that indicate a relationship is in need of repair and heading for trouble and what we can do about it. This week’s episode is you and me and your emails. Before we get to that, a few announcements. An important article on abortion plus I also am sharing two interesting posts about men and testosterone and men and sexual desire by psychotherapist Eric FitzMedrud. There's some really interesting stuff here that helps to share our conversation masculinity and consent. I'd love to hear what you think! Grab the links at for everything mentioned. On to your questions! Cassandra is about to have sex for the first time with someone new and he is in a wheelchair. She's not sure how to ask what he likes or how to sext, espcially since he told her that he can't get erections. What should she do? Let's talk about sex with someone in a wheelchair! First, for folks who are super new to sex and disability, has this awesome video to get you started. I also highly recommend this soon-to-be-published book by , an imprint of Oni Press, called "A Quick and Easy Guide to Sex and Disability" by A. Andrews. It's a graphic novel all about - you guessed it - sex and disability and I love it. It comes out in May 2020, so follow Limerence on Twitter to hear when it's out! You can also . I offer loads of questions Cassandra can ask her new beau, and I also suggest a Yes No Maybe list. Head to for a great resource on those. Next, Scaredy Cat and Queer & Missing Sex are BOTH scared about sex. Scaredy Cat is in eating disorder recovery and found me through Christy Harrison's amazing show, Food Psych. SC hasn't had a boyfriend and is terrified of sex to the point that she is cutting off potential partners out of fear that they'll expect or want sex. What can she do? In addition to all the things I mention on the show, I also pulled together a reading list for SC as a way to start learning, practicing, and finding more language around sex, boundaries, needs, and desires. Some books to get you going can be found at There's a much bigger recommended reading list you can grab at , too! Next up, Queer & Missing Sex is a few years out of an abusive relationship and feeling scared about sex, too. What can they do to reconnect with someone and have the fun sex they miss? Also, huge thanks to Hemlock for their awesome song "Firelight" which was used in this episode between questions. I'm digging it! Follow Sex Gets Real on and and Dawn is on . About Dawn Serra: What if everything you’ve been taught about relationships, about your body, about sex is wrong? My name is Dawn Serra and I dare to ask scary questions that might lead us all towards a deeper, more connected experience of our lives. In addition to being the host of the weekly podcast, Sex Gets Real, the creator of the online conference , I also work who are feeling stuck, confused, or disappointed with the ways they experience desire, love, and confidence. It’s not all work, though. In my spare time, you can find me adventuring with my husband, cuddling my cats as I read a YA novel, or obsessing over MasterChef Australia. Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real Use the player at the top of this page. Find on IHeartRadio. Hearing from you is the best Contact form: Episode Transcript Visit for the transcript.
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289: When the sex stops after you move in together & non-binary pregnancy
01/05/2020
289: When the sex stops after you move in together & non-binary pregnancy
tl;dr When the sex stops after you move in together, non-binary pregnancy, and why sex with fat folks is not revolutionary. Patrons who support at $3 and above, there's a new bonus at . Let's explore some of what we want to let go of and what we'd like to bring in for 2020, plus the most magical gift list I've ever read. This week’s episode is you and me and your emails. Before we get to that, a few announcements. First, you must read this on having sex with fat people. Share it widely. Sing it from the rooftops. The articles they mentioned are linked at I also am sharing two tweets from @pangmeli and you can find them and . On to your questions! First up, Lee recently moved in with her partner and the sex has stopped. What gives? Why did the sex stop as soon as they moved in together? The sex was kind of boring before that, so Lee is wondering how to talk to her partner about having sex, how not to build this up into A Thing, and if they can stack complaints of the things that aren't working? Let's talk about building a solid foundation of positive experiences and trust. We need to all be practicing our sex talk with partners when things are good because it's so upsetting to be in a relationship where the only time you talk about sex is when something is wrong. I know lots of people are in this situation, so I've got lots of questions and recommendations for Lee, including reading Esther Perel's Mating in Captivity. Next, Ama wrote in because she was raped twice by her best friend. It's been a year, but she can't stop crying and feeling unlovable. She's been trying to date, but she keeps choosing men who are unavailable. Finally, H is a non-binary person trying to get pregnant, but they are feeling all sorts of homophobia come up around their masculine body in this quest to have a baby. I found some awesome resources for non-binary and trans folks who are trying to get pregnant and who are pregnant. Check out the huge list of resources at Also, huge thanks to Hemlock for their awesome song "Firelight" which was used in this episode between questions. I'm digging it! Follow Sex Gets Real on and and Dawn is on . About Dawn Serra: What if everything you’ve been taught about relationships, about your body, about sex is wrong? My name is Dawn Serra and I dare to ask scary questions that might lead us all towards a deeper, more connected experience of our lives. In addition to being the host of the weekly podcast, Sex Gets Real, the creator of the online conference , I also work who are feeling stuck, confused, or disappointed with the ways they experience desire, love, and confidence. It’s not all work, though. In my spare time, you can find me adventuring with my husband, cuddling my cats as I read a YA novel, or obsessing over MasterChef Australia. Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real Use the player at the top of this page. Find on IHeartRadio. Hearing from you is the best Contact form: Episode Transcript Visit for the transcript.
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288: Squirting and incontinence, men who don't like sex, & large breasts
12/15/2019
288: Squirting and incontinence, men who don't like sex, & large breasts
tl;dr Abuse in polyamory. Can squirting cause incontinence? Are there men who don't like sex? How to have sex with someone with large breasts? Patrons who support at $3 and above, there's a new bonus at . It's a listener question about first time sex, birth control, and deep throating. Tune in to hear it and thanks for supporting the show financially. This week’s episode is you and me and your emails. Before we get to that, a few announcements. First, I am in two new books. You can find an essay I wrote almost 2 years ago in the recently released anthology and I have been turned into a comic character for Meg-John Barker's soon to be released . Pre-order yours today! This week, I am also bringing our attention to two articles about abuse in polyamory that I think offer important questions for us all to hold. Head to for the links. We need to hold ourselves and each other accountable for the ways we are doing relationship, and unfortunately much of the mainstream polyamory/non-monogamy advice just doesn't hold the nuance that's needed for people who have trauma, who experience mental illness, and a whole host of other realities. On to your questions! First up, Cathryn wrote in with some really sweet messages about discovering the podcast. Next, Sofia wrote in about squirting and incontinence. Can squirting lead to incontinence? I got input from several pelvic floor therapists, and though the answer is more complicated, the overall sense is yes, it can. We explore why in the episode. Then, Jose asks, “Am I the only guy who doesn't like sex?" But the thing is, Jose has a thriving sex life - with himself. It's partnered sex he doesn't care for, so we explore asexuality, masculinity myths, and why it's perfectly normal and OK to prefer sex with yourself. Finally, Breast Distress has a new partner who has large breasts. How can she become a better at sex with someone who has large breasts, especially when it's something she's never done before? Also, huge thanks to Hemlock for their awesome song "Firelight" which was used in this episode between questions. I'm digging it! Follow Sex Gets Real on and and Dawn is on . About Dawn Serra: What if everything you’ve been taught about relationships, about your body, about sex is wrong? My name is Dawn Serra and I dare to ask scary questions that might lead us all towards a deeper, more connected experience of our lives. In addition to being the host of the weekly podcast, Sex Gets Real, the creator of the online conference , I also work who are feeling stuck, confused, or disappointed with the ways they experience desire, love, and confidence. It’s not all work, though. In my spare time, you can find me adventuring with my husband, cuddling my cats as I read a YA novel, or obsessing over MasterChef Australia. Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real Use the player at the top of this page. Find on IHeartRadio. Hearing from you is the best Contact form: Episode Transcript Visit for the episode transcript.
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287: Darcey Steinke on menopause, changing bodies, & a new way forward
12/01/2019
287: Darcey Steinke on menopause, changing bodies, & a new way forward
tl;dr Darcey Steinke on menopause, changing bodies, & a new way forward MENOPAUSE! It's a thing loads of us go through that's fraught with misinformation, silence, shame, and PATRIARCHY. So, this week, I'm chatting with author Darcey Steinke about her new book, "Flash Count Diary: Menopause and the Vindication of Natural Life". I had a chance to read the book and chat about it with some friends in a queer elders book club I'm in. Darcey and I dive into the ways menopause is vilified by the modern medical industrial complex, the stories we don't have, and what she discovered along the way around pleasure, sex, and changing bodies. We acknowledge that this episode is cis and hetero centric as it's a largely about Darcey's memoir. If you're looking for some resources for other kinds of bodies and genders, head to for a few to check out. You can grab wherever books are sold. Patreons, don't miss my bonus chat with Darcey just for you! You'll hear a moving story of how and why Darcey found inspiration in killer whales as she moved through menopause and what we can learn about changing bodies from these fierce mammals. It was one of my favorite parts of the book, too! The bonus is for folks who support at $3 per month and above, and you can hear it at Have questions of your own you'd like featured on the show? Send me a note using the contact form in the navigation above! Follow Sex Gets Real on and and Dawn is on . About Darcey Steinke: Darcey Steinke is the author of the memoir Easter Everywhere and five novels: Sister Golden Hair, Milk, Jesus Saves, Suicide Blonde, and Up Through the Water. Her books have been translated into ten languages, and her nonfiction has appeared widely. Her web story “Blindspot” was a part of the 2000 Whitney Biennial. She has been both a Henry Hoyns and a Stegner Fellow, and a Writer-in-Residence at the University of Mississippi. She has taught at the New School, Columbia University School of the Arts, New York University, Princeton, and the American University of Paris. She lives with her husband in Brooklyn. Stay in touch with Darcey at and on . Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real Use the player at the top of this page. . Find on IHeartRadio. Hearing from you is the best Contact form: Episode Transcript Head to for the full transcript.
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286: Exploring bisexuality, life after rape, Hashimoto's & dating
11/24/2019
286: Exploring bisexuality, life after rape, Hashimoto's & dating
tl;dr Can someone explore their bisexuality while being in a monogamous relationship? Do things get better after you've been raped? How can you balance body positivity with Hashimoto's and how can you tell a potential date about your health issues? Patrons who support at $3 and above, you're invited to join the Explore More book club. We are meeting in December to discuss Jenny Odell's "How to Do Nothing: Resisting the Attention Economy", so check out my new post at . Also, your bonus this week is some fun journal prompts and questions about food and pleasure. Be sure to grab it! On with this week's episode. TJ has been diagnosed with Hashimoto's which is an auto immune disorder. After a lifetime of trying to be accepting of their body, now their body is changing. How can they balance a restricted diet without giving into diet culture? And, if you're just starting to date again, how do you tell someone about your health issues? When is the right time to tell them about a disease or a disorder? MJ is exploring her bisexuality, but there's a problem. She's in a monogamous relationship. Her partner is open to them trying a threesome, but MJ wants to try sex with a woman on her own just to see what's it like. Can she do that? This also opens the door for us to talk about the ways we treat people when we want to experiment with our sexuality or try a threesome - often we treat folks like objects to use for our pleasure. How can we do better? What kind of complexity do we need to grapple with if we're seriously considering trying something like this? Finally, N wrote in. She was raped and then betrayed by someone she cared deeply about. After a suicide attempt, N is in counselling and struggling. Does life get better? Do the nightmares and the fear and the PTSD get better? Is there hope for intimacy and being able to be touched? Let's talk about the realities of living in a body after trauma and what healing can look like inside of these very broken systems we're in. Also, huge thanks to Hemlock for their awesome song "Firelight" which was used in this episode between questions. I'm digging it! Follow Sex Gets Real on and and Dawn is on . About Dawn Serra: What if everything you’ve been taught about relationships, about your body, about sex is wrong? My name is Dawn Serra and I dare to ask scary questions that might lead us all towards a deeper, more connected experience of our lives. In addition to being the host of the weekly podcast, Sex Gets Real, the creator of the online conference , I also work who are feeling stuck, confused, or disappointed with the ways they experience desire, love, and confidence. It’s not all work, though. In my spare time, you can find me adventuring with my husband, cuddling my cats as I read a YA novel, or obsessing over MasterChef Australia. Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real Use the player at the top of this page. Find on IHeartRadio. Hearing from you is the best Contact form: Episode Transcript Visit for the transcript.
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285: Kai Cheng Thom on consent, healing, & pleasure
11/17/2019
285: Kai Cheng Thom on consent, healing, & pleasure
tl;dr Kai Cheng Thom on consent, healing, & pleasure This episode is generously brought to you by LOLA. Listeners, save 30% off your first month's subscription of period products (tampons, pads, and liners) and sex products (ultra thin condoms, lube, and wipes). This week it's me and Kai Cheng Thom. I AM SO EXCITED! Kai Cheng and I talk about so many things from how easy it is for sex positive educators to default to a mechanized view of sex and why checklists around consent aren't enough to why sex is always political and why Kai Cheng is so committed to uplifting our humanity. We dive into healing, trauma, transformative justice, courage, pleasure, and Kai Cheng's vision for a post-apocalyptic world. Be sure to check out Kai Cheng's for some great reading, and of course, grab . Then, for Patreon, our bonus conversation is all about somatic sex education, the importance of having a place to practice and experience sex, and where you can learn more about somatic sex education. If you want to hear our chat, it's for folks who support at $3 per month and above, and you can hear it at Have questions of your own you'd like featured on the show? Send me a note using the contact form in the navigation above! Follow Sex Gets Real on and and Dawn is on . About Kai Cheng Thom: Kai Cheng Thom is a writer, performer, and community worker based in Toronto. She is the award-winning author four books, all in different genres. Kai Cheng's work on mental health, relationships, and transformative justice has appeared in many publications internationally. Stay in touch with Kai Cheng at and on Twitter . Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real Use the player at the top of this page. . Find on IHeartRadio. Hearing from you is the best Contact form: Episode Transcript Head to for the transcript.
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284: Learning to be vulnerable, is cheating bad, and big penises
11/10/2019
284: Learning to be vulnerable, is cheating bad, and big penises
tl;dr How to vulnerable and honest, is cheating bad, and what to do about a big penis? News! Patrons who support at $3 and above, you're invited to join the Explore More book club. We are meeting in December to discuss Jenny Odell's "How to Do Nothing: Resisting the Attention Economy", so check out my new post at . Let's take a touch inventory. Who in your life can you share touch with? Not just sexual or romantic, but platonic, comforting, or familial touch? I've been thinking a lot about the ways we're so touch-starved here in the U.S. and Canada, and then an article came across my feed this week that I thought was worth sharing. Check out Vice's article by visiting . This week it's your emails! We're diving deep into three of them. Anxious Freshman grew up in a household where love was dependent on obedience and pleasing their father. As someone heading off to college, they're noticing that it's challenging for them to be open and honest about their feelings, to be vulnerable with others. They even lie to their friends about sex while knowing their friends wouldn't judge them. What can they do differently? Al has a big question. Is it wrong to cheat on his wife? They've been married a long time and sex hasn't been a part of the equation for many years. He is seriously considering cheating on his wife, and wants to know if it's wrong. It's a huge question and one I take some time with. Finally, Big Cock Blues has met someone wonderful, but there's a problem. His cock is massive and it leaves BCB feeling raw, sore, and irritated after they have intercourse. What can BCB do to accommodate this big penis? From different positions to cock rings to trying perineal massage, there are lots of ways to experiment here, but the bottom line is to always trust your body and to follow your body's lead - not to try and force it or override it's wisdom. I found an article on perineal massage for BCB. Follow Sex Gets Real on and and Dawn is on . About Dawn Serra: What if everything you’ve been taught about relationships, about your body, about sex is wrong? My name is Dawn Serra and I dare to ask scary questions that might lead us all towards a deeper, more connected experience of our lives. In addition to being the host of the weekly podcast, Sex Gets Real, the creator of the online conference , I also work who are feeling stuck, confused, or disappointed with the ways they experience desire, love, and confidence. It’s not all work, though. In my spare time, you can find me adventuring with my husband, cuddling my cats as I read a YA novel, or obsessing over MasterChef Australia. Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real Use the player at the top of this page. Find on IHeartRadio. Hearing from you is the best Contact form: Episode Transcript Coming soon at
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283: Healthy relationship behaviors (green flags), community accountability
11/03/2019
283: Healthy relationship behaviors (green flags), community accountability
tl;dr Relationship green flags (healthy relationship behaviors), community accountability, and play party etiquette. News! Patrons who support at $3 and above, you're invited to join the Explore More book club. We are meeting in December to discuss Jenny Odell's "How to Do Nothing: Resisting the Attention Economy", so check out my new post at . How are you doing? No really. How are you? Share with me, if you'd like, and send in your questions because I'd love to hear from you. Send me a note using the contact form in the navigation above? What are relationship green flags? In other words, what are healthy relationship behaviors? What's a green flag for relationships? Well, after seeing a meme circulating with a few of them, I compiled a list of 24 green flag behaviors for relationships, because we hear a lot about red flags and it's nice to know what to do versus what not to do. Anderbear wrote in wanting to know how to proactively set up an accountability pod for their kinky community and resources for community accountability. While the list isn't exhaustive, it is a jumping off point! Get all of the links and names at . Follow Sex Gets Real on and and Dawn is on . About Dawn Serra: What if everything you’ve been taught about relationships, about your body, about sex is wrong? My name is Dawn Serra and I dare to ask scary questions that might lead us all towards a deeper, more connected experience of our lives. In addition to being the host of the weekly podcast, Sex Gets Real, the creator of the online conference , I also work who are feeling stuck, confused, or disappointed with the ways they experience desire, love, and confidence. It’s not all work, though. In my spare time, you can find me adventuring with my husband, cuddling my cats as I read a YA novel, or obsessing over MasterChef Australia. Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real Use the player at the top of this page. Find on IHeartRadio. Hearing from you is the best Contact form: Episode Transcript Visit
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Sex Gets Real 282: Squirting, fat-friendly therapist, & when a marriage falls apart
10/27/2019
Sex Gets Real 282: Squirting, fat-friendly therapist, & when a marriage falls apart
tl;dr Is squirting embarrassing? How can I find a fat-friendly therapist? What if my marriage is falling apart? News! Patrons who support at $3 and above, you're invited to join the Explore More book club. We are meeting in December to discuss Jenny Odell's "How to Do Nothing: Resisting the Attention Economy", so check out my new post at . This week, it's me and you! An awesome video called came across my feed this week, and it turns out it's part of a multi-video series by the Barnard Center for Research on Women featuring Mia Mingus, Leah Lakshmi Piepzna-Samarasinha, adrienne maree brown, and a bunch of other amazing folks. Definitely check them all out. How can we become more committed to collective healing and safety? What do we need to let go of in order to center the most marginalized? I explore this a bit as I share a few quotes and tidbits from the videos. Then, we dive into your questions. Sad Gay Millennial and SaFyre both wrote in this week with really sweet notes about how the show has helped them. I'm holding them so tenderly. Ina wrote to me about being in a fat body and finding support. How can you find a fat-friendly therapist? I have resources for you to check out at . Regardless of who you have near you for support, I recommend asking lots of questions about their values and going in with a list of requests and boundaries that would help you to feel more safe and supported. Is squirting embarrassing? Amy wrote in because she squirts and after she does, she often feels really embarrassed and worried about the mess she made. Her current boyfriend is really supportive, but she wants to know if there's a way to feel less awkward about the mess her body makes. Finally, Emotionally Wrecked Matt wrote in because he lost weight last year and as a result his wife has experienced a lot of insecurity and withdrawal. Sex isn't what it used to be, feelings are hurt, and now they've shared some fantasies with each other that left the other feeling even more hurt. What can he do? As much as there is to dive into in this email, what's clear is that Matt and his wife need some support. Repair needs to come before adventure and play, so let's talk about that. Have questions of your own you'd like featured on the show? Send me a note using the contact form in the navigation above! Follow Sex Gets Real on and and Dawn is on . About Dawn Serra: What if everything you’ve been taught about relationships, about your body, about sex is wrong? My name is Dawn Serra and I dare to ask scary questions that might lead us all towards a deeper, more connected experience of our lives. In addition to being the host of the weekly podcast, Sex Gets Real, the creator of the online conference , I also work who are feeling stuck, confused, or disappointed with the ways they experience desire, love, and confidence. It’s not all work, though. In my spare time, you can find me adventuring with my husband, cuddling my cats as I read a YA novel, or obsessing over MasterChef Australia. Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real Use the player at the top of this page. Find on IHeartRadio. Hearing from you is the best Contact form: Episode Transcript Find it at
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Sex Gets Real 281: Sexy pics of your ex, herpes & pleasure
10/20/2019
Sex Gets Real 281: Sexy pics of your ex, herpes & pleasure
tl;dr What should you do with sexy pics of your ex and what if you still get off to them? How can you have more pleasure if you have herpes and your partner does not? And what should you do if you can't stop thinking of someone who drifted out of your life? News! The October Cohort of my 5-week online course, Power in Pleasure, is enrolling NOW. We kick off TODAY Sunday, October 20th and it's going to be amazing. Learn more and enroll here: (it costs as much as a single coaching session but includes six live calls and five weeks of daily emails bursting with powerful prompts and questions). Join us! This week, it's me and you! First up, I want all of us to know about with Nadine Thornhill and Eva Bloom. It's for kids and adults with kids in their lives, but let's be honest. We could all use a refresher. Check it out. Thinking wrote in about still thinking a lot about an old friend who drifted out of their life. Sometimes those memories are erotic and sometimes not, but is this because Thinking loves them or never got closure? Crystal from Patreon had a few thoughts for Thinking. And then I weigh in about memories and how they can serve to support the stories we need in our lives. But it's important that we use memories to nourish us or to feel into something that we enjoy rather than investing in the truth of this fiction we've spun. It's normal to look back, as long as looking back doesn't keep us from living in the present. Increase My Pleasure Please has herpes and their boyfriend does not. They are using gloves and condoms, but they'd really like to try oral sex. IMPP is on anti-viral meds, but there's still a chance to shed the virus, so what is safe? How can IMPP increase their pleasure without increasing risk? I love this question because current stats show that 90% of Americans have some form of the herpes virus, which means it's SUPER common. And the more all of us know, the more pleasure we can all experience! Because I'm not a herpes expert, I turned to a few great resources for data and suggestions. for the full list of links. The long and the short of it is whether we are in a relationship with differing STI statuses, with disability, with chronic pain, with aging bodies, with fat bodies, with differing needs, or just want to have more options for pleasure, we can experience deep sexual fulfillment and erotic expression when we use our imaginations to connect around the infinite ways we can enjoy each other's bodies - lap dances, mutual masturbation, erotic massage, tickle fights and wrestling, power exchange, bondage, reading erotica together, clothes-on humping and making out, toys, fucking machines - the sky is the limit on pleasure. Kate has a super short question that I find fascinating. Is it wrong to keep sexy photos of an ex and to sometimes get off to them? What if you're in a new relationship? Let's talk ethics and respecting people and how the digital age can make us feel entitled to someone's body long after we're with them. Finally, Patrons, this week's bonus will be some erotic breathwork practices. Join me! If you support the show at $3 per month, you can get access at . If you want to help me answer listener questions, the $5 level is for you. Your support means so much! Have questions of your own you'd like featured on the show? Send me a note using the contact form in the navigation above! Follow Sex Gets Real on and and Dawn is on . About Dawn Serra: What if everything you’ve been taught about relationships, about your body, about sex is wrong? My name is Dawn Serra and I dare to ask scary questions that might lead us all towards a deeper, more connected experience of our lives. In addition to being the host of the weekly podcast, Sex Gets Real, the creator of the online conference , I also work who are feeling stuck, confused, or disappointed with the ways they experience desire, love, and confidence. It’s not all work, though. In my spare time, you can find me adventuring with my husband, cuddling my cats as I read a YA novel, or obsessing over MasterChef Australia. Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real Use the player at the top of this page. Find on IHeartRadio. Hearing from you is the best Contact form: Episode Transcript Head to dawnserra.com/ep281 for the transcript.
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280: Nurturance culture with Nora Samaran
10/06/2019
280: Nurturance culture with Nora Samaran
tl;dr Nurturance culture, rape culture, accountability, and boundaries with Nora Samaran. Don't miss the October cohort of Power in Pleasure, my 5-week online course dedicated to exploring your pleasure. Details are at . Enrollment closes soon! This week, I'm joined by Nora Samaran, author of the essay, "The Opposite of Rape Culture is Nurturance Culture" and the recently published book, Turn This World Inside Out: The Emergence of Nurturance Culture, out by AK Press. . Nora and I spent three hours chatting the day we recorded this episode, so needless to say there was a lot for us to unpack and explore. In the main episode for the show, we talk about nurturance culture, rape culture, raising the bar for the relationships we have and what it means to have relational responsibility, how our brains are wired for interdependence, attachment styles and how culturally we value avoidant attachment styles while vilifying anxious attachment styles. We dive into why there's so much heartbreak in swimming against the current of neoliberalism and capitalism when we prioritize interdependence, but also the richness available there. What does mutuality look like? What does care in our communities look like? Nora offers some beautiful examples of what it means for communities to protect people facing harm while honoring the humanity of the person or people causing the harm, and how we can be more accountable in ways that nurture us all. She calls it the 'double move' and it all starts with meeting the need without centering our own shame and guilt. Then, for Patreon, our bonus conversation is all about gaslighting. It's fantastic. Nora shares how the culture we live in lies to itself and creates fictions, why we are all so disconnected and dissociated, why when we're addressing patterns of gaslighting and harm it's not a "meet in the middle" thing, the neurology of gaslighting, and trauma bonding. If you want to hear it, it's for folks who support at $3 per month and above, and you can hear it at Have questions of your own you'd like featured on the show? Send me a note using the contact form in the navigation above! Follow Sex Gets Real on and and Dawn is on . About Nora Samaran: is a white settler from a working class immigrant background. She was a member of the No One is Illegal-Vancouver collective from 2005-2008, and the Media Democracy Day-Vancouver collective from 2008-2010. Her essay ‘The Opposite of Rape Culture is Nurturance Culture’ went viral in February 2016 and has grown into a book, Turn This World Inside Out, out with AK Press in June 2019. She teaches at Douglas College in Coast Salish Territories, also known as Vancouver, British Columbia. Check out Nora's interview on the . If you join the , there is a live webinar coming up, plus you can save 30% on the book! Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real Use the player at the top of this page. . Find on IHeartRadio. Hearing from you is the best Contact form: Episode Transcript Episode transcripts are available at
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REPLAY Sex Gets Real 221: Andy Izenson on alternative justice, resilient relationships, & masculinity
09/30/2019
REPLAY Sex Gets Real 221: Andy Izenson on alternative justice, resilient relationships, & masculinity
Radical love, resilient community, and never being discarded with Andy Izenson I am so excited to replay this episode with Andy Izenson. When it first aired, I received loads of emails as a response, and since I'm taking this week off to tend to me, it felt like a beautiful offering to tide you over until next week. I first saw Andy speak several years ago at a closing panel for Woodhull Sexual Freedom Summit, and I was in awe. You'll see why when you tune into our rich conversation. After reaching out to Andy, asking if they'd like to talk about restorative and transformative justice as well as building resilient communities on the show, Andy also said they were thinking a lot about: -- the way orthodoxies of capitalism and scarcity infuse polyamorous community// polyamory should be inherently anti-capitalist -- the way the state is conspiring with your trauma -- disposability and anxiety and the fiction of moral purity -- resilience and bravery in sex and relationships -- what even is masculinity anyway RIGHT?!?! So, on this week's show, we talk about alternative justice, healing, building resilient relationships and communities, letting go of the fantasy of safety and why there are no good people, plus, we explore the power of anger, question what even is masculinity, and feel moved that the kids really will be alright. Patreon supporters - If you support the show at the $3 level and above, a new bonus is landing on Tuesday (so I can continue to take the weekend to rest). Listen and support the show at Follow Sex Gets Real on and . It's true. Oh! And Dawn is on . In this episode, Andy and I talk about: Andy’s take on restorative and transformative justice and how finding factors where the whole community can come together to heal is a form of radical love. The ways we've been taught to believe in good versus bad, heroes versus villains, and why that feeds our hunger for punishment and violence. But punishment doesn't heal wounds or create strong communities, so what's the alternative? The fantasy we have to let go of around punishment and banishment when someone does something harmful, and how safety is an illusion. Why we can banish all the "abusers" from the island if we expect to have community. Andy's definition for community and how we can start building that kind of fierce support in a tiny way. The power of our anger, and what happens when the people in our life can hold that anger with us. We also talk about how damn resilient relationships become when we're can fuck up and know we won't be abandoned or discarded. Cultivating resilience in interpersonal relationships and communities. Knowing how you want your community to be/look like and how it should be a space where you feel safe and supported. The hard work around radical love and that it’s not always rainbows and butterflies. It’s actually really hard work Masculinity: What it would be like if it was not toxic and infused with violent misogyny? What even is masculinity? Imagining a world that just accepts us as who we are and who we want to be, opens the question of whether or not we’ll have a different language for what we have now? The excitement and the honest truth that the kids are alright. They will be. Period. About Andy Izenson: Andy Izenson is an attorney with Diana Adams Law & Mediation, PLLC, and is a collaborative practitioner, mediator, and passionate advocate, working to reframe conflict through a compassionate and transformative lens. As a member of the National LGBT Bar Association’s Family Law Institute and the National Lawyers Guild NYC Chapter Executive Committee, Andy is tirelessly committed to support for queer community and families as well as to a radical, anti-assimilationist politic. You can find Andy on , join the , or email Andy about speaking at your institution at andy.izenson at gmail dot com. Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real Use the player at the top of this page. Now available on Spotify. Search for "sex gets real". Find on IHeartRadio. Hearing from you is the best Contact form:
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Sex Gets Real 279: Extreme self-pleasure shame and sexuality versus genitals
09/22/2019
Sex Gets Real 279: Extreme self-pleasure shame and sexuality versus genitals
tl;dr Why coming forward about sexual assault doesn't "ruin" lives, what to do when you're deeply ashamed of masturbation, & does loving penises make a straight man gay? News! The October Cohort of my 5-week online course, Power in Pleasure, is enrolling NOW. We kick off Sunday, October 14th and it's going to be amazing. Learn more and enroll here: (it costs as much as a single coaching session but includes six live calls and five weeks of daily emails bursting with powerful prompts and questions). Join us! This week, it's me and you! First up, I share a fascinating and crucial thread by Nicole Bedera on why rape allegations do not "ruin" lives. This is such a relevant conversation, and pairs perfectly with an awesome post that made the rounds this week by Jennifer Michelle Greenberg. You can check it out along with my thoughts here. In short, speaking your truth about abuse and harm does not ruin lives and we all have a responsibility to take more action around instances of harm. This is not an individual problem but a communal and collective one. Then, I field your emails. Libby wanted to share some feedback and thanks, which felt amazing to receive. From Help Me to Help Myself wrote in because they feel extreme shame around masturbating and don't know what to do. They experienced abuse and were raised in a very sex negative and Christian household, so masturbation feels complicated. How can they change their relationship with self-pleasure? Finally, Brian is worried his fetish means something about his sexuality. You see, he is straight, but he has a fetish for penises and semen, especially around performing oral on a trans person. So what does it all mean and where did this come from? I do a deep dive into genitals, identity, and sexuality. I also want all of us to check out three articles about sex with trans women. Head to for those links. Finally, Patrons, this week's bonus will be a short reading and meditation with some journal prompts about masturbation and our pleasure stories. If you support the show at $3 per month, you can get access at . If you want to help me answer listener questions, the $5 level is for you. Your support means so much! Have questions of your own you'd like featured on the show? Send me a note using the contact form in the navigation above! Follow Sex Gets Real on and and Dawn is on . About Dawn Serra: What if everything you’ve been taught about relationships, about your body, about sex is wrong? My name is Dawn Serra and I dare to ask scary questions that might lead us all towards a deeper, more connected experience of our lives. In addition to being the host of the weekly podcast, Sex Gets Real, the creator of the online conference , I also work who are feeling stuck, confused, or disappointed with the ways they experience desire, love, and confidence. It’s not all work, though. In my spare time, you can find me adventuring with my husband, cuddling my cats as I read a YA novel, or obsessing over MasterChef Australia. Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real Use the player at the top of this page. Now available on Spotify. Search for "sex gets real". Find on IHeartRadio. Hearing from you is the best Contact form: Episode Transcript Coming soon at
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Sex Gets Real 1: Mid Atlantic Leather conference
09/17/2019
Sex Gets Real 1: Mid Atlantic Leather conference
It smells like man and cow, and it's hot as hell. Dawn & Dylan hit the Mid Atlantic Leather conference in Washington, DC. Ready for a complete, and VERY kinky, run down of everything we saw? Let's talk sadism, spanking, leather, dildos, and hundreds of sweaty, gay men. For more information about Mid Atlantic Leather, visit In this episode, Dawn & Dylan: Talk about all the things they saw at Mid Atlantic Leather. Laugh over the smell of all that leather and man ass. Watch a sadistic display and fondle some dildos. Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real: Use the player at the top of this page. Now available on Spotify. Search for "sex gets real". You know we love hearing from you, so here's how to reach us Call or text: 747-444-1840 (standard messaging rates apply) Email: [email protected] Contact form:
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Anne Hodder-Shipp on sex ed, entitlement in relationship, & recovery
09/15/2019
Anne Hodder-Shipp on sex ed, entitlement in relationship, & recovery
Anne Hodder-Shipp joins us to talk sex ed, entitlement in relationships, and sex after recovery and while sober. News! If you could use some support around your relationship to your body, to pleasure, to sex and desire, I have a few spots available for in-person coaching in Vancouver and in my online virtual practice. Check out the page for details. Patreon supporters - Anne and I spent some time recording a special bonus chat for you all about dream work and sex dreams. Head to to hear. If you don't yet support the show, $3 per month gets you weekly bonus content you can't find anywhere else. This week, I'm joined by Anne Hodder-Shipp, an experienced and no bullshit sex educator who does incredible work on the front lines of sex education and behind-the-scenes helping with the marketing and promotion of many popular brands you likely know. We dive into the importance of authenticity in dating and relationships, why being in a relationship does not entitle you to your partner's body and the steps you can take if you've behaved that way in the past, Anne's awesome new sex education certification program through EDSE (there's a new course in November - if you're interested, SIGN-UP NOW!), and the complexities of sex when you're in recovery or newly sober. Anne also shares how natural dreamwork, a way to get in touch with your emotions, helped her doing some healing work. Have questions of your own you'd like featured on the show? Send me a note using the contact form in the navigation above! Follow Sex Gets Real on and and Dawn is on . About Anne Hodder-Shipp: Anne Hodder-Shipp, ACS, (she/her) is a multi-certified sex and relationships educator with professional training in breathwork and holistic dreamwork. She boasts a unique understanding of age-appropriate sex education, trauma-informed healing, critical thinking, and emotional intelligence, and she brings a fun, friendly and sex-positive facilitation style to every session, group or event she hosts. Utilizing a non-judgmental and no-b.s. approach, Anne happily helps clients of all ages, experience levels and lifestyles heal, learn and grow. In addition to her private practice and public workshops, Anne is the founder of and lead educator at Everyone Deserves Sex Education (EDSE), and also leads treatment groups for clients recovering from substance use disorder, eating disorders, compulsive sexual behavior and other stigmatized illnesses. Private practice: EDSE Certification: Instagram + Twitter: @theannehodder Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real Use the player at the top of this page. Now available on Spotify. Search for "sex gets real". Find on IHeartRadio. Hearing from you is the best Contact form: Episode Transcript Head to for the transcript.
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Sex Gets Real 278: Anne Hodder-Shipp on sex ed, entitlement, & recovery
09/14/2019
Sex Gets Real 278: Anne Hodder-Shipp on sex ed, entitlement, & recovery
tl;dr Anne Hodder-Shipp joins us to talk sex ed, entitlement in relationships, and sex after recovery and while sober. News! If you could use some support around your relationship to your body, to pleasure, to sex and desire, I have a few spots available for in-person coaching in Vancouver and in my online virtual practice. Check out the page for details. Patreon supporters - Anne and I spent some time recording a special bonus chat for you all about dream work and sex dreams. Head to to hear. If you don't yet support the show, $3 per month gets you weekly bonus content you can't find anywhere else. This week, I'm joined by Anne Hodder-Shipp, an experienced and no bullshit sex educator who does incredible work on the front lines of sex education and behind-the-scenes helping with the marketing and promotion of many popular brands you likely know. We dive into the importance of authenticity in dating and relationships, why being in a relationship does not entitle you to your partner's body and the steps you can take if you've behaved that way in the past, Anne's awesome new sex education certification program through EDSE (there's a new course in November - if you're interested, SIGN-UP NOW!), and the complexities of sex when you're in recovery or newly sober. Anne also shares how natural dreamwork, a way to get in touch with your emotions, helped her doing some healing work. Have questions of your own you'd like featured on the show? Send me a note using the contact form in the navigation above! Follow Sex Gets Real on and and Dawn is on . About Anne Hodder-Shipp: Anne Hodder-Shipp, ACS, (she/her) is a multi-certified sex and relationships educator with professional training in breathwork and holistic dreamwork. She boasts a unique understanding of age-appropriate sex education, trauma-informed healing, critical thinking, and emotional intelligence, and she brings a fun, friendly and sex-positive facilitation style to every session, group or event she hosts. Utilizing a non-judgmental and no-b.s. approach, Anne happily helps clients of all ages, experience levels and lifestyles heal, learn and grow. In addition to her private practice and public workshops, Anne is the founder of and lead educator at Everyone Deserves Sex Education (EDSE), and also leads treatment groups for clients recovering from substance use disorder, eating disorders, compulsive sexual behavior and other stigmatized illnesses. Private practice: EDSE Certification: Instagram + Twitter: @theannehodder Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real Use the player at the top of this page. Now available on Spotify. Search for "sex gets real". Find on IHeartRadio. Hearing from you is the best Contact form: Episode Transcript Coming soon
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Sex Gets Real 277: Cuckqueaning and the dangers of advice
09/08/2019
Sex Gets Real 277: Cuckqueaning and the dangers of advice
tl;dr Creating community memories of abuse, why giving advice is a double-edged sword, attending ACA meetings, and wanting to cuckquean when you have trauma and no body confidence. News! Save 40% off your first subscription with LOLA and your pads, tampons, wipes, condoms, and more can be discreetly delivered right to your door on YOUR schedule. They are generously sponsoring this episode. Listeners save 40% when they go to mylola.com and use promo code SGR at checkout. First up, I want your questions! I zoomed through so many of your amazing stories and emails this summer, that I'd love to hear more from you as I line up the podcast for the fall. Where are you struggling around sex, love, pleasure, and bodies? What would you love to know more about? How can I support you around the places that feel tender and confusing? Email me at info at sexgetsreal dot com or using the contact form which is linked at the top of the page. This week we kick off by exploring a few interesting posts I came across. One that's a few years old by Ferrett Steinmetz on the dangers of giving advice. Grab the link at . Another is this amazing community memory that's meant to help a DC antifacist activist community remember some harmful behavior one particular individual has been engaging in. Is there potential for other communities to create similar memories as a way to foster accountability and change? Check out the piece and share it widely by heading to . We are diving into two questions this week. The first is Ana Banana who wants to know what I think of going to ACA meetings (Adult Children of Alcoholics). I explore the power of community to heal and also some of the dangers of placing all the blame on individuals. Next is a question from Confused Quean on how to be a cuckquean while having deep body trauma and self-image issues. I posed this question to Patreon, and a few folks help share their ideas and perspective. Did you know you can support the show? Every single dollar means so much, and if you'd like to toss a few my way to help keep the show going, head to . If you support at $3 and above each month, you get exclusive weekly content you can't find anywhere else and if you support at $5 per month and above, you can help me answer listener questions. Have questions of your own you'd like featured on the show? Send me a note using the contact form in the navigation above! Follow Sex Gets Real on and and Dawn is on . About Host Dawn Serra: What if everything you’ve been taught about relationships, about your body, about sex is wrong? My name is Dawn Serra and I dare to ask scary questions that might lead us all towards a deeper, more connected experience of our lives. In addition to being the host of the weekly podcast, Sex Gets Real, the creator of the online conference , I also work who are feeling stuck, confused, or disappointed with the ways they experience desire, love, and confidence. It’s not all work, though. In my spare time, you can find me adventuring with my husband, cuddling my cats as I read a YA novel, or obsessing over MasterChef Australia. Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real Use the player at the top of this page. Now available on Spotify. Search for "sex gets real". Find on IHeartRadio. Hearing from you is the best Contact form: Episode Transcript Coming soon at
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Sex Gets Real 276: Attachment styles, cheating, & experimenting
09/01/2019
Sex Gets Real 276: Attachment styles, cheating, & experimenting
News! I am on episode 4.2 of the Secret Feminist Agenda podcast. , how I got into this work, and much more. Save 40% off your first subscription with LOLA and your pads, tampons, wipes, condoms, and more can be discreetly delivered right to your door on YOUR schedule. They are generously sponsoring this episode. Listeners save 40% when they go to mylola.com and use promo code SGR at checkout. First up, I want your questions! I zoomed through so many of your amazing stories and emails this summer, that I'd love to hear more from you as I line up the podcast for the fall. Where are you struggling around sex, love, pleasure, and bodies? What would you love to know more about? How can I support you around the places that feel tender and confusing? Email me at info at sexgetsreal dot com or using the contact form which is linked at the top of the page. I'd also love more of your love notes about the ways people in your life make you feel appreciated and loved. It's so sweet having these little rituals to share with everyone. Send yours over whether it's something a lover, spouse, friend, coworker, neighbor, child, or community member does. Love is love! On to your emails. Mare is struggling because she betrayed her partner. He didn't want to open their relationship and she did, so she betrayed their agreement and now things are terrible. She feels guilty and ashamed, and wants some thoughts on the whole situation. Anonymous Girl has always considered herself to be straight, but she's getting bored of sex with men, and is starting to feel really curious about sex with people of other genders. Should she go for it? And how? Finally, Sydney Faith Rose recently wrote something amazing about how many women are talking about their anxious attachment, but how maybe instead of seeing it as something to fix, it's instead a huge sign that there are very good reasons to be anxious right now. I explore some of the limitations of attachment theory and offer some questions for us all to sit with. Did you know you can support the show? Every single dollar means so much, and if you'd like to toss a few my way to help keep the show going, head to . If you support at $3 and above each month, you get exclusive weekly content you can't find anywhere else and if you support at $5 per month and above, you can help me answer listener questions. This week there are TWO bonus episodes because last week's had an issue. One bonus is all about a partner who lied about getting STI testing done which has put their whole polycule at risk. The other bonus episode is about arousal and whether a desire to be penetrated or not is the sign of full arousal for a vulva owner. Have questions of your own you'd like featured on the show? Send me a note! Follow Sex Gets Real on and and Dawn is on . About Host Dawn Serra: What if everything you’ve been taught about relationships, about your body, about sex is wrong? My name is Dawn Serra and I dare to ask scary questions that might lead us all towards a deeper, more connected experience of our lives. In addition to being the host of the weekly podcast, Sex Gets Real, the creator of the online conference , I also work who are feeling stuck, confused, or disappointed with the ways they experience desire, love, and confidence. It’s not all work, though. In my spare time, you can find me adventuring with my husband, cuddling my cats as I read a YA novel, or obsessing over MasterChef Australia. Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real Use the player at the top of this page. Now available on Spotify. Search for "sex gets real". Find on IHeartRadio. Hearing from you is the best Contact form: Episode Transcript Available at
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Sex Gets Real 275: Abuse in feminist port, finding body trust, and love stories
08/25/2019
Sex Gets Real 275: Abuse in feminist port, finding body trust, and love stories
News! I am going to be on Secret Feminist Agenda podcast. The episode drops Friday, August 30, 2019 and if you haven't checked out this rad podcast yet, . The next cohort of Power in Pleasure starts October 14th and enrollment is now open. If you'd like to learn more and join in this rich exploration of pleasure, hunger, and desire, head to . To get us started, I came across two threads all about love and the simple ways we care for each other. I'd love to hear from you one the little things people in your life do that make you feel loved and what made you think "yeah, I want this human in my life for awhile". Platonic, creative, sexual, romantic - it doesn't matter. Let's start a love fest. Email me with your story! I also want to take some time to share that a porn performer named Rooster has come forward about abuse they experienced on the set of an Erika Lust film by guest director Olympia de G. I share some thoughts on how we can do better around accountability and complexity, but I think the most important thing is hearing from Rooster and centering their experience. On to your emails. Kate's boyfriend has a coworker who is pretty disrespectful with boundaries, but despite that, had an initially shitty situation turn into something super sexy and fun. Go Kate! Next up, Elizabeth has just recently started dating a couple. Things are going great, but the woman asked Elizabeth not to wear crop tops around their daughter and Elizabeth isn't sure if she's being shamed or not for her clothing. What gives? Finally, CassyBoBassy is curious about body trust. As someone who struggled with dieting and a family who vilified fat bodies, Cassy is starting to see there might be another way to experience pleasure and break-up with shame, but what does it mean to trust your body and how can she feel less lost? Grab all the links and resources mentioned in this episode at . Did you know you can support the show? Every single dollar means so much, and if you'd like to toss a few my way to help keep the show going, head to . If you support at $3 and above each month, you get exclusive weekly content you can't find anywhere else and if you support at $5 per month and above, you can help me answer listener questions. Have questions of your own you'd like featured on the show? Send me a note! Follow Sex Gets Real on and and Dawn is on . About Host Dawn Serra: What if everything you’ve been taught about relationships, about your body, about sex is wrong? My name is Dawn Serra and I dare to ask scary questions that might lead us all towards a deeper, more connected experience of our lives. In addition to being the host of the weekly podcast, Sex Gets Real, the creator of the online conference , I also work who are feeling stuck, confused, or disappointed with the ways they experience desire, love, and confidence. It’s not all work, though. In my spare time, you can find me adventuring with my husband, cuddling my cats as I read a YA novel, or obsessing over MasterChef Australia. Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real Use the player at the top of this page. Now available on Spotify. Search for "sex gets real". Find on IHeartRadio. Hearing from you is the best Contact form: Episode Transcript Find it at
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